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Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo (2016-17)

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Blueming (2022) Trailer

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❝If you want to kill me, just do it. I deserve it. It was my job to fool you. But... In the end, I only fooled myself. I was really happy to have spent time with you, to have hanged out with you, to have made plans together. But that happiness was ridden with guilt. I wasn't fully myself when I really wanted to be. I wanted you to see the real me. When you got stabbed, just thinking you could die, did you know... the thought nearly killed me. If I were to lose you without letting you know my feelings, it would have been the worst thing ever. I love you, Bison. I love you. With all my being.

You're not fooling me again... You're not fooling me again, are you?❞

FIRST KANAPHAN as KANT PATTANAWAT and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON episode 8 of THE HEART KILLERS

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His: I Didn't Think I Could Fall in Love (2019) Episode 2

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I was waiting until the show ended to write this, but Our Youth - Miseinen is one of the best japanese BLs that I've watched recently, and that includes Our Dining Table from the last year, which was another slice of life BL which I really enjoyed.

It reminds me of a coming of age BL series I'd watched years back, probably the first BL that I'd watched, which also featured the sea in a prominent way: His (2019), which is about a local boy meeting a surfer kid and developing an attraction which changes the way he looks at life, but which at the same time doesn't really go anywhere. There is a movie with the same title, His (2020), where we meet them as adults, and one them is a single dad who is still living in the same place and the sparks flying almost instantly when they see each other again. For me, both these shows recreate the magic of the everyday with a focus on mood, sensuality and memories, and the intimacy that comes from a soulmate trope done right.

Our Youth, on the other hand, reminds me of moody indie films with its incredible cinematography, use of visual storytelling, long takes, and a mature pacing which never feels rushed, but most of all, the incredible sensuality of the scenes which is something I've started to miss in most QL productions now.

It's interesting because that's exactly how I write sensuality in my fics, as something which decompresses time and takes you out of your head and into a world you only share with the other person. There's an intimacy, an idea of a secret, and most importantly, sensuality as a way of mapping the lover and their bodies which I was not expecting from this high school doomed romance narrative which is usually very much NOT my jam.

Take for instance the scene where Minase feeds Hirukawa from a bottle after he's all banged up by his dad, and how it hints subtly at the imagery of water as an aberrant, almost sexual force that started with Hirukawa twisting up the water tap on their very first meeting and getting drenched in the spray, only to toss his hair back and lock eyes with Minase, who has no idea how to react.

Minase watches, intrigued and fascinated and possibly a little turned on, and it comes back time and time again when he starts rebelling against his strictly regulated life and starts to embrace his own sensuality.

As the series progresses, we see Minase willingly getting drenched, walking into the water and allowing it to change him.

From safe, regulated water bodies: the aquarium in his room, the river under the bridge, and the occasional downpour which he shields himself from with an umbrella, it gets more and more unwieldy over time -- leading him straight to the sea, both literally and metaphorically. There's a profusion of ponds, seas, rivers and also a dried up swimming pool in one of the scenes which comes at a time when Hirukawa is getting expelled, so that is also an amazing example of visual storytelling: the water that sustains their relationship has been emptied out.

Later down the line, as Minase's internal monologue gets messier and messier, he starts giving in to his urge to break free of the restraints placed on him by his mother, his upbringing, his friends and the expectations of his teachers regarding how he should live his life. Many a times when he tries to intervene for Hirukawa, his teacher tells him that it is something which doesn't concern him, and we get the minute details of the physical reactions Minase has to Hirukawa, as if to visually tell us, that no, that is definitely NOT the case.

The series ends quite predictably, after losing much of its steam, but I didn't hate it because of two reasons. One, the time skip actually created a different dynamic between them, allowing Minase to be the active pursuer for once, and Hirukawa being the one pursued. Two, it allowed for their chemistry to really take off and pull out all stops once they reunited again. That would never have worked with the younger versions of them in high school, because Minase was too repressed for that, and Hirukawa too afraid to upset the status quo between them.

By the end, they are living together, but Minase still has to break out of his social anxiety regarding how to come out to his friends, and it feels mature and in character for him. Because despite coming a long way, Minase is still concerned about other people's reactions to him, which can only change with time, or become a bigger problem down the road.

But it doesn't erase the fact that the intimacy that we are shown at the end feels hard won and illicit at the same time, making it the centerpiece of the show.

I do hope jdramas continue the trend of writing intimacy in these tangible yet ephemeral ways, which can be mapped but not given a form to, and which lingers in our memories like a feeling that can be savoured, instead of something that can be forgotten when the show is over.

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Every time a BL goes to bat for marriage equality, it's a little prayer for the future ❤️

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One day I sat on the beach, looking at the sea at night. No stars, no moon [...]. The sky and sea were pitch black. I could barely see the horizon. It was quiet. But that night was a bit scary. After sitting there for hours, the sky gradually became brighter. The sea began to sparkle. And when I saw that, I thought of you. [...] Like it gave me the same feeling. Like that image moved me. And then I felt warm. When I felt that, I realized that I must have had fallen in love with you. Even if we can’t get married, I will always be by your side. So please don’t worry.

OUR YOUTH 未成年 (2024) SPECIAL EPISODE

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“You deserved that.”

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Our Youth really stuck the landing. I loved Minase's evolution from repressed, lonely teenager to a young man still struggling with where he fits in the world but secure in his love and his partner. I loved Hirukawa's journey from hopeless, abused teenager with a one-sided crush to confident young man settled in his love.

There was no bl bubble in this show, and it's especially hard on Minase, dealing with all of the weddings and expectations while not being ready to come out of the closet. I appreciate that Hirukawa set up an opening for Minase to tell his friends, but then backed off when Minase wouldn't take it. He's in it for the long haul, including the time it will take waiting for Minase to come around (if he ever does).

It was sweet and unflinching all the way through. A bit of a gentle version of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. I want to hug the whole show.

Gifs by @forcebook

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experimenting with a different colour palette: orange & teal! 😄 #brbchasingdreams 🎵 c4c & kokoro - cherie

prints | tutorials

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art vs artist, 2024 #brbchasingdreams

prints | tutorials

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I have to wait an entire week to see them again!? Why!?

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A First Kanaphan Gifset | First + All the Boys I've Kissed (2024-)

I know it's established news that First has been collecting GMMTV boys like trophies, but it's sort of hilarious to recap. I haven't included Fluke (from The Shipper) because this is just on-screen kissing and I saw no actual lip-to-lip contact.

(Also, I made this pre-THK airing. Not gonna lie, I want First to add Joongdunk to his collection. I would dig it if Kant kissed Fadel just to wind him up, and/or Style just to make their respective boyfriends jealous).

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Togawa! I am seducing you. I have been trying to seduce you the entire time. With everything I have. Although you never had a clue.

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Random QL Grievances: 2024 Edition

For every superlative there must be an equal and opposite grievance. It's just science, the universe demands balance! So let's get into the Festivus spirit and begin the airing of grievances.

Most Infuriating Implosion of a Good Show: Last Twilight

When I think about how much I loved this show for the first 3/4 and how I felt as Mhok and Day watched the sunset on the cliff at the end of episode 9... we really coulda had it all. Justice for Mhok!

Worst Failure to Set Off the Chekhov’s Gun: Dead Friend Forever

Not only did they show me a dropped axe in the penultimate episode that never got picked up and used in the finale, they also didn't let me see Non's biggest betrayers die a bloody death. I had to watch Phee kill New and then get an ambiguously happy ending. Unforgivable!

Most Egregious Blue Balling of the Audience: The On1y One

How dare they build such a beautiful, careful relationship narrative and then just... not finish it. Not only did we not get an end to the story, we didn't even get to see Tian and Wang express their feelings. I will never forgive the creators of this show for playing these games.

Side Pair that Deserved Better: Arun and Tattoo, Jack & Joker

Where is their actual romance, show? WHERE IS IT?! You have a chance to make it right in the coming special and I pray you take it.

Messiest Show Built Around a Great Character: 23.5

The show was an unholy mess, but Ongsa (as performed by Milk) was the nerdy cringefail lesbian of our dreams. She deserved better!

The WHY?! Award for Blowing a Great Show on the Dismount: Unknown

I make this exact face when I think about how close this show came to perfection, and how needless the ending stumbles were when the book version was right there as a guide. What was the reason?!

The Everyone Involved Needs a Timeout Award: Jazz for Two

How did this show get made? I need a detailed explanation of exactly what they thought they were doing with this horrific depiction of a series of abusive relationships framed as romantic.

Worst Letdown for Me Personally: Wandee Goodday 

Will anyone ever make the fuck buddies to lovers BL of my dreams? It definitely hasn't happened yet. I am Plakao just making frustrated faces at everyone throughout this show.

Worst End of an Era: My Strawberry Film

What was the point of this show? What was it trying to say? I watched every single minute and I still have no clue. It gets bonus hate for ending the Drama Shower project on such a bum note.

Silliest Use of Lore: Sunset x Vibes

They teased us with past life dreams and gorgeous seascapes and Naga fantasies and all we got in the end was some ugly ass jewelry.

Noble Idiocy Hall of Shame: Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I loved this show a lot, so you can imagine my dismay when they did a double noble idiocy + time skip ending. I am still so disappointed.

Petition to Free Ohm Pawat: Kidnap

To go from roles like Pat in Bad Buddy and Phukao in 10 Years Ticket to this... oh how the mighty hath fallen. I know my guy had some scandals but surely this was enough penance to set him free from terrible script purgatory. Right??

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off really be out there collecting ALL the men 🤭🫶

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baekhyun for dicon (koreadispatch)