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lurkingshan · 3 months

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I've been thinking a lot about the depictions of generational trauma and parental accountability being presented in dramas lately. Since you've watched way more than me, especially outside of BLs, what are some shows that present or include parental accountability?

This is such a good question and one I have been thinking about a lot since Last Twilight episode 10 aired. Westerners often assume that because of Asian cultural norms around filial piety, parental authority, and respect for elders, we can never expect satisfying parental accountability in our Asian drama narratives. But that's not true! It's been done and done well. It’s because these values are so deeply embedded in most Asian cultures that Asian creators are the best positioned to speak on the harms they can cause, and will often embed these themes in their work.

Now, there is an important distinction to make here: the difference between what characters do, and what the story communicates. A character may choose to abide by honoring their parents at all costs, but the story can still communicate how harmful that is. A character may never apologize for something they have done wrong, but the story can still make it clear they have fucked up and hold them accountable for that via tangible consequences. Here are a few examples from bl to illustrate what I mean, and the different ways this can show up in dramas.

Bad Buddy

One of the most obvious examples of parental accountability in genre, and also a pretty full metal version of it. This entire story is about the damage Ming and Dissaya did their sons with their decades-long feud and insistence on pushing that trauma down on their children, and we got some extremely cathartic scenes of Pat and Pran telling their parents exactly what they thought about that. Of course, even though they raged at their parents, they never got the apologies they deserved (and likely never will) and still had to hide their relationship to appease their parents going forward. But that doesn't mean there was no accountability here. The entire narrative held these parents accountable by showing us how they were harming their sons, forcing them to reckon with it, and ultimately showing them settling into a form of resigned acceptance.

Until We Meet Again

This entire show is about Korn and In's reincarnated souls healing from the trauma of their tragic ending, which was brought upon by the familial pressure and rejection they experienced from their fathers. We not only saw Dean and Pharm work through this trauma and forge new bonds with family members, we saw the direct aftermath of their first deaths, the despair and regret their families felt, and the ceremony that tied their souls together as a result. It's big karmic accountability on a grand scale, and the show never flinched from letting us see exactly how much harm was caused by these parents, or how the tenets of filial piety resulted in Korn's despair that he couldn't be what his father wanted. Even more crucially, we were shown, not just told, the counterpoint impact of good parenting, when Dean and Pharm were accepted by their families in their second life.

Blueming

A rare example of an Asian parent being called to the carpet, feeling the wrongness of their actions, and actually apologizing for it. This does in fact happen in drama! Si Won's mom raised him to hate himself, to be ashamed of his body, to fake his way through life so people would like him, and boy did it do a lot of damage. The story showed us how this affected Si Won and his relationships deeply, and brought him to the point where it finally burst out of him. And his mom, to her credit, was dismayed to understand what she had done to her son. This show also gets bonus points for Da Un standing up to his own mother after she interferes in the film contest.

Bed Friend

Uea's mother's sins against him are numerous, and I will not go into them all in detail to spare my own sanity. She is an abusive parent so horrific that she can never be forgiven, and doesn't need to be. An apology from her would be utterly meaningless. Instead, the drama holds her to account via showing us what she's done to Uea and the work he has to do to heal from the trauma she caused, and ultimately having her son cut her out of his life. It's the biggest consequence she can ever face for her choices and that Uea finds the courage to do it is the story's biggest triumph.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

On the subtler end of the scale, we have our beloved KNT, which weaves parental accountability through its story in the long, slow journey for Shiro's mother to accept who he is and the partner he has chosen in life. What I love most about this particular depiction is that it's not at all linear in nature. We see her make strides by finally acknowledging Kenji and inviting him to her home, and then backtrack by rescinding the offer due to her own discomfort, and then include him in her family planning to ensure he will be cared for after her death. She’s homophobic and traditional, but she loves her son and sees how much happier he is with Kenji in his life. She is constantly reckoning with that tension. And Shiro and Kenji, being of an older generation themselves, don't hold it against her, even as the show makes sure we understand how much it hurts them. They are not okay with it, but they do understand why she's like this, so they take what she can give and forgive the rest. It's a really touching portrayal of this kind of impasse in a family.

Moonlight Chicken

There are several different vectors of parental accountability in MLC. There is Heart confronting his parents over their neglect and abuse and finally demanding to be treated with dignity. There is Li Ming directly calling out his mother for how her life choices have affected him. And there is Li Ming and his surrogate dad, Jim, working out their issues so that they can communicate better, and so that Jim can learn to stop pushing his own fears and anxiety down onto the next generation. All of it handled with deftness, with care, and with clear purpose to examine the ways intergenerational trauma can perpetuate in the absence of accountability.

#holding out hope that aof comes through on this in lt but compared to his previous work in this arena ep 10 was definitely lacking #last twilight #bad buddy #until we meet again #blueming #bed friend the series #kinou nani tabeta #moonlight chicken #shan answers #shan recommends

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negrowhat · 3 months

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what are your top ten fav bl's of all time?

Hey Anon! I had to take some time to think about this. It's hard for me to choose things like this! You're really putting me on the spot lol. Here we go tho...I might cheat a little.

To My Star. Both 1 and 2. I love Seo Joon's and Ji Woo's story. I love their relationship dynamic. I loved how protective they were of each other. Both Ji Woo and Seo Joon are complex characters with layers that you can really bite into and analyze many ways. I know a lot of people were not fans of s2 but that was one series where I truly ate up the angst. Ji Woo is a hard character to understand unless you really take the time to watch the series and focus on his behaviors. You'll never, ever catch me talking bad about TMS.

Gameboys the Series. Both the seasons and the movie. CaiReel have such a modern and relatable love story. I think it being a series about finding relationships in the middle of a global pandemic while we were ALL sharing the same plight really stood out. I felt like I made new friends while watching that series. Also for s1 to be shot completely on an iPhone and for most of the actors to not actually be filming their scenes at the same time, I was BLOWN away by the quality AND chemistry. That series made me SOB and that is also something I consider impressive. If it can make me cry then it's certified gold.

Utsukushii Kare. Both seasons and the movie. This is another series with complex main characters. Hira deals with his general uninterest in damn near everything EXCEPT Kiyoi and photography. And Kiyoi deals with his need for attention even if he generally doesn't like people because they always disappoint him. It's interesting to see how they handle their seemingly unbalanced relationship. Hira is willing to give Kiyoi all the love he requires and not get close (which is normally what Kiyoi wants) and Kiyoi learns that with Hira he wants a real true love and relationship and that's quite a task when the man you love doesn't value himself. It's just interesting seeing the growth between them.

Color Rush S1. I love the way they tackle the soulmates trope, and explore the darker side to the obsession that could happen once you find your perfect match ESPECIALLY when that match can help you see a full picture. Yeon Woo struggles with a myriad of thoughts and fears as he does his best not to get close to Yoo Han even though Yoo Han is serving up himself on a silver platter with tantalizing promises of helping him learn the colors he craves to see. Yeon Woo becomes obsessed, but little does he know that Yoo Han is also obsessed because Yeon Woo also helps Yoo Han see a clearer picture. But maybe that obsession is really just them falling in love and not knowing what to call it.

Moonlight Chicken. Messy and relatable to a person like me who is smack dab in the middle of the age groups involved. This series really showcases how messy romances can be. It shows how hard it can be to close the door to a chapter you thought would end happily. This series shows how hard it can be to move on when a normally open door shuts in your face suddenly and forever. It shows how a chapter that starts off terrible can lead you into the most thrilling moment of your life. It shows that the last chapter you finished might have you TERRIFIED to move on to the next one. Stuck. This was a series I found difficult to dislike any of the characters even if they were being terrible. Emotions were high and reactions were warranted. This was a series where I felt like people were allowed to feel the way they were feeling.

We Best Love. Yes, both seasons. Shu Yi and Shi De had such an up and down ship. Shi De went through such a roundabout way to get close to Shu Yi and I really enjoyed watching them become friends. I enjoyed watching Shu Yi come to realize he was in love. I wanted to beat Shi De up in s2 for ghosting Shu Yi and I was enjoying watching Shu Yi get his lick back, but really he was just looking for answers so he can decide if he was stupid for wanting to forgive Shi De the moment he saw him again. It's another fun and messy series.

Lovely Writer. I LOVE Gene ok. He really made me love the series because he was such a bomb ass character. I also found Nubsib's psycho/stalkerish tendencies quite entertaining because he was so polite about it. I love that the series took stabs at all the things wrong with the BL community while simultaneously having the main character be an actor in one of the most toxic fake BLs I've ever seen. Just meta on top of meta. Satire in the form of a trendy BL within a BL.

History 3: MODC. Salt run aside, I just really loved this series. Can't believe a series about the shy kid falling in love with his bully is a fave. That sentence alone would make it problematic af...not to mention the questionable age gap between the 2nd couple. But it was beautifully constructed. Hao Ting found the best version of himself in Xi Gu and Xi Gu found a brighter side to life with Hao Ting. And they were WAYYYYY into each other and Hao Ting did put in his work to be forgiven. I do my best not to overthink Zhi Gang's age difference from Sun Bo because it's such a norm in Taiwanese BL. It's kind of interesting to see their relationship play out. Zhi Gang definitely has his hangups with the age gap and Sun Bo just doesn't care.

Blueming. Such a laid back series. Si Won is just a sweetheart dealing with self-esteem issues trying to make his presence known in life so he can get the best out of his university experience. And Da Un is just that effortlessly cool guy Si Won strives to be like. He can't even fathom the idea of such a cool guy having a crush on him that he takes the flirting as arrogance lmao. I think it's sweet that Da Un helps uplift Si Won and I think it's sweet that Si On showed Da Un the attention he never got at home.

Ingredients the Series. Just a sweet lil slice of life miniseries. It fills me with joy to watch Tops and Win pine after each other as Win works on his music and Tops works on his cooking and they live together symbiotically. There's not too much to this series. It relies heavily on food and chemistry and that's perfectly perfect for me.

#to my star #to my star 2 #blueming #gameboys #gameboys the series #gameboys the movie #we best love #we best love: no 1 for you #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare: eternal #ingredients the series #lovely writer #lovely writer the series #history 3: modc #history 3: make our days count #moonlight chicken #color rush

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respectthepetty · 10 months

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as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

#top korean bls #long time no see #to my star #our dating sim #the eighth sense #semantic error #the new employee #light on me #choco milk shake #blueming #roommates of poongduck 304 #love tractor #korean bls #in strongberry we trust

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