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[unknown time] the oddinary. it was normal cafe down to its concrete walls and retro furniture. that’s what you convinced yourself. you sit at the bus stop like you do every morning; you’re waiting for the public bus to whisk you away to your college courses for the day, headphones blasting a cocophany of melodies from your favorite artists into your eardrums. it was another half hour before your bus pulled up, so you did what every bored college student did. you people watched, but with no one on the street, the cafe’s occupants became your target today.

there’s five people total in the cafe; three employees and two customers. the two girls sat across from each other in the cafe, both on their phones. they’re probably gossiping about the latest drama going on in their friend group. one of the cafe’s employees wanders over, a shy, puppy like smile adorning his soft features while he places their drinks in front of them. his mouth moves and the girls blush slightly, smiling back up at him in thanks. clearly, they’re too shy to say anything to the cute guy, you chuckle to yourself.

the second employee is somewhere half behind the counter and half in the walk way between customer and workers, moping the floors with precise motions. he wears a barrette that never seems to faulter from his head, even with his vigorous movements when he comes across a particularly dirty spot on the lenolium. it must be pinned to his hair somehow. the male looks young - you think - late high school aged at the earliest, but probably more like a freshman in college aged. though he looks fairly ordinary, something seems vaguely off with one of his eyes. it’s probably a colored contact; they’re all the rage these days.

finally, you move to the last employee. he’s the manager, no doubt. his uniform bears a difference to the other two; some ribbons hang down from his suspenders with some lettering on it. it’s most likely the cafe’s name on them. he looks significantly older than the two others currently working and seems to have an air about him that screams “i’m in charge”. though you suppose the resting bitch face he has as he stares down at his phone while he stands at the registers doesn’t help his case either. you notice how pretty his purple hair is and how beautifully it compliments his sun kissed complextion.

your bus whizzes past you then, stopping to cover your line of sight. you’re up and out of your seat quickly to board the vehicle. your people watching pass time is now long forgotten as you scan your student id and go sit in your usual seat at the back of the bus. you miss the knowing stare from the purple haired manager as your bus drives away. the oddinary was an ordinary cafe, you tell yourself.

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[5:53 pm] a heavy sigh slips past lee know’s lips as he borderline glares at your bedroom door. you haven’t left your bed in days despite your mutual friends’ pleas. despite his pleas. he really didn’t want to have to do this, but you were making this difficult. minho’s long legs moved towards your bedroom door. nimble fingers wrapped around the doorknob and began turning it while minho mentally prepared himself for the state you and your room would be in.

you had clothes everywhere along the floor. beside those was a graveyard of forgotten projects and hyperfixations. your desk had half eaten bowls of food from days ago that minho was certain had mold growing in them. but those were trivial compared to how you were curled up beneath the two weighted blankets you owned, back to the door in an attempt to look asleep so he wouldn’t bother you. but minho didn’t buy it. he knew you and, even with your erratic sleep schedule, he knew you were always awake around this time. with a final sigh, minho made his way across your room with careful footsteps, eyebrows knit together in determination.

once he reached your side, he called out to you in a soft voice, “c’mon, bub, lets get you something to eat.” you gave no response. the panicked thought that you had finally decided enough was enough crossed minho’s mind before he heard a heavy sigh make its way from where you lay.

“alright,” minho shook his head, “you leave me no choice then.”

you let out a gasp when cold air suddenly hit your bare skin. a yelp followed when you were suddenly being lifted in the air and thrown over your roommate’s shoudler.

“minho!” you gasped as once again traversed the graveyard of old clothes and hobbies on your floor with you still over his shoulder. despite the fact that you knew minho would never drop you, your fingers dug into his shirt on instinct and a whimper escaped your throat. once out of your room, minho quickly made his way to the couch with you. he gingerly set you in your spot on the couch, quick to cover you in one of your favorite blankets. he moved over to the cat tree in the corner and retrieved his three feline children, bringing an armful of cat floof for you to cuddle. though doongie was the only one to stay in your lap for cuddles since you were his favorite human.

“wait here,” minho told you, voice barely above a whisper. he was acting as if you were a wild animal, ready to fight or flee at too loud of a sound or too sketchy of movement. a voice at the back of your head hissed at you while minho darted off into the kitchen, whispering in your ear about how your roommate was probably sick of you already and how he probably thought you were a waste of space.

minho ploppped down a variety of various bowls on the coffee table in front of you, the smells of them making your stomach twist with hunger. “i’m-,” you began only for minho to shove a spoonful of kimchi soup into your mouth. you stared at your roommate wide eyed for a moment and he began to worry he’d crossed a line. but once he saw you chewing, tears beginning to fall from the corners of your eyes while you shakily asked for another bite of food, he knew this was a good decision.

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[6:23 am] you can’t sleep. despite the melatonin capsuls and countless numbers of sheep, you can’t sleep. you put your phone away hours ago and let yourself stare up at your ceiling. you even let your mind wander to creative ideas that you’d hoped to flesh out fully one day. but nothing. nothing could get you to fall asleep. until lee know came along. the brunette huffed as he stared at your half covered figure, chocolate irises tiredly staring at the collection of bags under your eyes.

“how long have you been awake?” he sighs, laying beside you once you’ve moved to make room for him on your bed.

“uh, 2 days,” you tell him, honestly, the sleep deprivation making your brain unable to sound convincing if you were to utter a lie.

“jesus,” lee know hisses sharply, as if you had just insulted his entire bloodline, “you’re worse than chan.”

“don’t tell me that,” you sigh, letting minho wrap himself around you like the roots of a tree. a comfortable silence falls over the two of you, your legs tangled together while the beginnings of a new day start to peer through your curtains. minho can’t help, but nearly fall back asleep, your warmth guiding him back to his dreams.

the silence doesn’t last long. when you speak up, your voice is so fragile. like you’d shatter at any given moment.

“am i… a burden?” you inquire, only pausing to lick your dry lips before you continue, “am i a good person?“

minho’s lips part without a second to spare, ready to tell you how important you are to so many people. but he doesn’t. because your next words truly break him by the way you say it with so much familiarity.

“am i a waste of space, lee minho?”

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[2:58 am] it was a common occurance for you to slip out on your balcony in the wee hours of the morning, sometime after midnight. with a craving for the white tobacco encased stick currently lit up between your fingers and the moon and stars as your only companions. the rest of the world slept blissfully, completely unaware of your illicit activity. you enjoyed the magic that came with your late night excursions; the wind gently whipping around your features and tossling your hair like an older sibling while an eerie calm settled over the bustling city of seoul. you bitterly took comfort in the night’s arms, lonely and depressed.

“are you ever gonna quit smoking?” asks the soft voice of your neighbor, breaking apart the hollowness that had settled into the cavity of your chest where your heart should be.

“you ever gonna sleep at a decent hour?” you tease bang chan back, shifting your weight so you could observe him properly. he’s lit up by the soft light slipping through the sliding glass door behind him, making the man before you look more like a faerie than some kid from australia looking to make his musical mark in the world. a dry chuckle falls from his heart shaped lips.

“cmon,” he teases you, “you know the answer to that.”

“and you know my answer to your question,” you smile at him. the silence is back after the moment of banter with your insomniac neighbor, though its different from before. the silence is a little less…

lonely.

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[1:42 am] seungmin can tell you’re not focused on your assignment. you keep scrolling through social media periodically and sighing deeply with undertones of being unsatisfied despite your favorite 3racha album playing quietly in the background.

“maybe you should take a break,” seungmin finally comments after you sigh for the umpteenth time in the past half hour. 

“i’ve been taking breaks,” you tell him matter-of-factly. the brunette boy watches as your fingers gently grip the frames of the circular glasses that slid to the tip of your nose, slipping them back up to their rightful place nestled at the bridge of your nose. truthfully, even though you hate them, seungmin loves it when you wear them. they’re cute on you, even if you don’t think so.

“i know,” seungmin deadpans at you, “maybe take a longer one and get some water. you’re struggling to focus and it’ll help you clear your head.”

you chuckle slightly, “you’re probably right as usual, minnie seungminnie. come with me to the convivence store, though, i want ice cream.”

“that’s not what i meant by take a break,” seungmin rolls his eyes, “and i suppose you want me to pay for your ice cream?”

“well, if you say so,” you joke. a sunny smile spreading across your stunning features and seungmin finds that despite his disinterested behavior, he doesn’t mind paying for ice cream when you look at him like that.

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[1:45 am] you sigh as you walk down the steps of the science building your quantum physics class was held in. you peer up at the stary night sky before checking the time on your watch. 10:34 pm. your class got out 20 minutes later than normal.

“i hate it here,” you mumble to yourself before moving on your merry way home. you were fortunate enough to have found an apartment close enough to campus that you didn’t have to take a bus.

shoving your hands into your pockets, you turn down a back alley to avoid the crowds at the bars that surround your seoul based campus. you wander around a few corners before you pause. hushed voices and strong energies are what caught your attention, coming from just around the corner ahead of you. normally, you would shrug, keep your eyes down and continue walking, but something was telling you not to ignore what was happening. you pull your hood up and stand beside the corner, eavesdropping in on the conversation.

“-ow spit it out!” one of the voices hisses out between gritted teeth.

the other chuckles almost maniacaly, “chill out. there’s a price for this kind of information.”

the first boy’s clicks his tongue in annoyance and the moonlight shifts so you can make out their figures better. the hot headed one has dark brown hair that is slicked back away from his face. his irritated expression allows him to sport a pair of dimples on either side of his cheeks. you can feel the strength dripping off the man. the other one was a shorter boy with purple hair, the tacky cheeta print jacket he was wearing making him even more crazy than he already looked. the heat from his pyrokinetic abilities makes your skin crawl.

“whats your price, wooyoung?” the irritated boy hisses again. you don’t get to hear the rest of the conversation when a hand and a cloth clamps down over your mouth and an arm holds you around the waist in a tight, menacing grip. it only takes a few moments of quiet struggling before you lose consciousness.

“-up.”

“-ake up.”

“wake up.”

“wake up!!!”

you gasp awake, head laying on top of a metal chair as you sit tied to its chair. you gently raise your head a bit, coming face to face with your kidnappers.

“finally!” one of the four boys before you sighs dramatically, “was that so hard, hyung?”

“shut it, donghyuck,” the one the comment was directed at hisses at the younger, sun kissed boy, “i’d like to see you do better.”

“oho! is that a challenge?” donghyuck laughs, clearly trying to antagonize his elder while bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet as if he were in a street fighter game. putting his fists in front of him, donghyuck jabs at the air playfully a few times and you can see the little bits of electricity crackling off the skin, “knock ‘im out again and i’ll gladly wake him up in half the time it took you.”

“or you’ll roast him alive,” a tall, lanky male with a lazy smile on his face points out, “you still don’t have a good grip on controlling your powers, hyuck.”

a dejected whine comes from donghyuck at his elders words, “you said the other day i was getting better, johnny hyung.”

“yeah,” the fourth male laughs, “but he never said you mastered them.”

“not you too, taeil hyung,” donghyuck whines.

“enough,” the first boy hisses, “he’s awake now. now taeyong just has to hurry up and get here to interrogate him.”

“he’s awfully quiet,” taeil points out and now all attention is on you again. you can sense this one has a strong mind when you look at him, no doubt a telekinetic user. you peer at the other two boys who showed you their powers so willingly, only giving them a moment of your attention before turning to the tall one - johnny. you feel calm looking at him, like you didn’t have a care in the world - something only those with empathic abilities can do.

doyoung’s face suddenly twists in a grimace, “ugh. no good. he blocked me out.”

“so he’s telepathic, too,” donghyuck sing songs.

“seems like it,” doyoung sighs. his sharp eyes narrowing at you scrutinizingly as he mutters under his breath, “something seems off about it though...”

“you know what else seems off, doyoung hyung?” donghyuck pipes up, much to the aforementioned boy’s displeasure, “why this guy isn’t talking. usually, they’re already pleading that they know nothing or are giving us attitude. but he’s not doing either, he’s just... sitting there.”

“so you kidnap people often then,” you comment, putting your head back down on the table, “great. good to know.”

“ah, there’s the attitude,” donghyuck giggles.

“hyuck, chill,” a new voice comments from the doorway and you look up to see a boy with a strong jawline in the doorway, hair colored a dark blue, “taeyong’s on his way.”

your eyes narrow at the new boy who turns to you, blinks with his big doe eyes, and then shrugs and leaves. you sit back in your chair after his departure, staring quietly at the four boys in the room.

donghyuck seems to be particularly interested in having a staring contest with you and you both break eye contact a few minutes later when the door to the metal room open to reveal a skinny man with half red, half white hair.

“taeyong,” johnny smiles, bowing slightly to his leader who waves and sits in the chair in front of you.

“so,” taeyong begins, sizing you up, “whats your name?” the icy air about him just screams what he can do to you if you answer in a way he deems unfit.

“careful, taeyong,” doyoung interjects for a moment, “he’s a telepathy user like me.”

taeyong nods in understanding, but says nothing as he stares expectantly at you.

“my name is yn yln,” you tell him, hesitantly.

“yn,” taeyong hums, letting your name roll of his tongue so eloquently, “do you know why you’re here, yn?”

“no, but i’m sure you’ll tell me,” you answer.

“you’re here to make a deal with us,” taeyong smiles at you, though you can tell he doesn’t mean the expression he wears, “tell us what you know and we’ll set you free.”

you’re suddenly irritated and you glance at the empath, knowing its his doing, but keep calm, “i don’t know anything.”

“then why were you loitering around jaehyun and wooyoung’s meeting?” taeyong hums.

“i was passing through on my way home.”

“through the back alleys? where were you coming from?”

“i’m not a fan of crowds...” you admit sheepishly, “i’m a college student.”

taeyong hums a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly at you, “...fact check that.”

the two of you have a stare off for a moment before taeyong sighs and drops his smile immediately. you know his lack of smile means that things were about to take a turn.

“y’know, yn, i was really hoping it wouldn’t come to this,” he says almost disappointedly, “but you leave me no choice.”

the temperature in the room suddenly drops and you can feel frost begin to creep up the soles of your shoes. you narrow your eyes slightly at taeyong before you finally decide you’ve had enough.

you stand suddenly and flip the table in front of you, the ropes that once bound your wrists together singed off thanks to borrowing the earlier boy’s powers.

“watch it!” taeil shouts, stopping the table in midair before it can hit taeyong.

“i thought you said he was a telekinetic user!” donghyuck snaps as he helps taeyong up.

“he blocked me out! i thought he was!” doyoung growls back at donghyuck.

“johnny! cool him down,” taeyong barks.

the male shakes his head, “i can’t. he’s blocked me out, too.”

“no fucking way,” donghyuck growls in irritation.

the six of you have a mini stand off for a while before the door to the room swings open with too much force.

“stop! he’s telling the truth!” a young man shouts, out of breath and in distress, “his name is yn yln and he’s a student at the college up the street! he has no ties to the underworld, much less to kq!”

“i’m sorry again, yn,” taeyong says apologetically as you two sit in a less metal and more casual plush living room.

you shrug, sipping at the tea you had been served a moment ago quietly. you’re still a little bitter about the accusations having been thrown your way earlier.

“its fine,” you tell him curtly.

“clearly,” taeyong laughs sheepishly.

“if you’ll just send me on my way, i’ll gladly accept your apology,” you push.

taeyong’s eyes close as he sets his tea cup on the table, “i apologize, yn, but i can’t do that.”

“what?! why not?!” you protest.

“you’ve seen our faces, you know are names, you know who we are.”

“and... you are?”

“nct.”

you sigh as you sit in the passenger seat of johnny’s car, headed towards the direction of your apartment. your eyes travel to the three boys in the back making a small ruckus. two of them are bantering back and forth in manderin while fighting over a book in one of their hands. the third one sits quietly beside the black haired boy, looking somewhat anxious and antsy. only two of them have powers, it seems - the one who was originally reading his book seems to be able to control plants while the one who keeps fidgeting in his seat has super speed. the last one doesn’t seem to have any abilities and you can’t help but wonder why he’s with this group of trouble.

you glance over at johnny for a moment, noticing a small smile on his face as he peers into the rear view mirror at the boys. he’s clearly openly fond of the trio, much to your surprise. not many empaths have their own visible emotions when they’re with others. you look away before johnny can notice you staring at him. an amused smirk appears on your face for a moment - taeyong really gave you a speedster and expected you not to escape using his power. he put too much faith in you despite not knowing you.

minutes pass by and the bickering from the back is endless. you almost snap at them. almost. instead, your attention is brought to the quiet voice from the back,

“uh, excuse me. if you don’t mind me asking. erm. nevermind...”

you turn to look at the speedster, eyebrow raised for him to continue.

“o-oh, um, you were listening... okay,” he stutters out to himself, “uh, w-who are you?”

the bickering from beside him dies down at the boys question, their curiousity just as strong as his.

“depends on who you ask,” you tell him after a moment, eyes flitting to johnny for a moment before you face forward again.

“what do you mean?” the speedster inquires.

“well, according to our chauffeur, he would call me ‘dangerous’,” you hum. johnny glances over at you for a moment, “how do you know that?”

“i didn’t need to use your powers,” you explain, “its written in the way your hand grips the steering wheel a little tighter than normal and the way your other hand is defensively placed near your hip - likely where some sort of defense weapon is.”

the car is silent now, the air tense as johnny speeds down the empty highway.

“yn,” you say to break the tension, “my name is yn.”

“oh, uh, jisung,” the speedster in the back nods to you in greeting.

“nice to meet you, jisung,” you smile at him a bit, “i’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” you point to one of the exits on the highway, “take this turn.”

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[11:38 pm] you gasp for air, brain barely registering the pain in your torso with the adrenalin running through your veins. the crimson of your life essense spills further onto the asphalt beneath your limp body.

“go! go! go!” your assailents yell to one another as they scatter, leaving you to bleed out on the pavement of the alley. you wonder how you were led to this moment, recalling how people whispered of johnny suh’s notorious contracts. deals with johnny suh were often compared to deals made with the devil. you’d agree to a certain extent - johnny suh was indeed a ruthless man, but not cold hearted like satan. johnny suh was more like lucifer, looking to better his life only to be cast out and demonized by those around him. you suppose you were one of very few to see it this way as he usually was not so lenient with individuals in his deals.

your vision was starting to blur when you heard footsteps approach, making you focus on them while you fought to stay alive. they were light, no rush in their step even as a man lay dying before them. someone made their way into your line of sight, though you couldn’t make them out with how darkness threatened the edges of your vision. you thought you heard them click their tongue at you, but not in a pitying way as you would assume an enemy would do. it was more of a noise of observance as they peered upon your body, peeking your curiousity. you watched a shift in their blurry facial features like they were speaking to you, but the darkness drowned out what they told you.

“rest well.”

your body ached as you stirred, eyes peeking open slightly only to close shut at the harsh white walls. upon opening your eyes again, you blinked away the harshness of the white around you to make out a hospital room. your brain began to register the steady beeping of the heart monitor beside your bed, tracking your heartbeat. you were alive. you didn’t know how, but you were.

“oh, you’re awake,” a soft, cheery voice pipes up from the doorway to the room. you look over at him - the white lab coat draped over his white button up and pastel pink sweater combo indicating he was your doctor, “i’m jungwoo, if you couldn’t tell, i’m your doctor this visit. its nice to meet you.”

the name rang a bell to you - kim jungwoo was a high ranking member of nct’s mafia. he did various odd jobs and was nct’s resident doctor while kun was away.

“uh, yeah, nice to meet you,” you replied, timidly, obviously hesitant about this whole endevor so far. jungwoo smiles at your introduction before moving to where your vitals sit beside you. he begins to check the iv embedded in your vein as he talks at you.

“yknow, i was quite surprised when ten brought you in. we all thought for sure you were dead,” jungwoo rambles, “can’t believe he wouldn’t tells us why he brought some runner half dead to us, but i guess that’s ten for ya - gotta keep up that assassin facade.”

“ten hyung brought me here?” you inquire incredulously. you know ten from when you were a mediator - he’s a high ranking member of wayv, nct’s sister group based out of china. he’s been present for some discussions between wayv’s leader and exo-m’s when it was still a surviving unit. you find it sort of unnerving any of wayv would be in korea with how successful the group is in their country - something big must be happening.

jungwoo turns to you, eyes sparkling with mischief and curiousity, and you have a feeling you shouldn’t have said anything to the unassuming boy.

“‘hyung?’” he pushes you, making you wish you had kept your mouth shut. before the hazel haired boy can get anymore information out of you, his phone chimes from the pocket of his doctor’s coat. he checks it and a frown replaces his cheery smile though it returns after he pockets the device again, turning to you.

“your vitals look good considering you were shot three times in the chest,” jungwoo tells you, “you’re lucky the bullets exited your body and didn’t hit any vital organs. we’re gonna keep you for another day to monitor you. in the mean time, i’ll let taeyong know you’re awake now - he’ll want to see you since you failed a super important task.” you frown at the mention of nct’s head honcho as well as jungwoo’s singsong voice about your impending doom. with a wave and a smile, the boy dismisses himself back out into the hallway from wence he came.

you heave a sigh of relief you didn’t realize you had been holding in in jungwoo’s presence, relaxing against the itchy hospital blankets. your eyes flutter over to the windows only for you to realize there weren’t any. huffing slightly, you lay your head against your pillow.

“what kind of hospital doesn’t have windows?” you pout to yourself. it isn’t more then twenty minutes later that you’re startled awake slightly by the door to your room shutting. you turn to your new visitor and relax when you see the lengthy figure of johnny standing in the doorway.

“welcome back to the land of the living,” he tells you, his carefree smile etched across his face as per usual, “i hope jungwoo left your ear drums intact from all his chatting.”

“uh, yeah,” you nod, “i didn’t mind it.”

“you say that now, but eventually his voice will be like nails on a chalk board,” johnny chuckles.

“you say that like i’m going to be around him a while,” you point out, grip tightening nervously on the blankets at your waist. johnny frowns at you, a rare sight for the forever faux happy male.

“c’mon,” johnny changes the subject, pulling out a wheelchair from the corner of the room for you. his nimble fingers latch onto your elbow while he carefully removes the iv from your bloodstream.

“where are we going?” you inquire, hesitant to go with him given the circumstances. pushing a few buttons on your heart monitor, johnny tugs off the patches hooking you up to the machine, residue from the adhesive staying behind. he helps you into the wheelchair before he responds, already beginning to push you down the hall, “to see taeyong.”

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[4:17 am] han knew you were someone who likes crafts; you were always making something new for someone. but coming home at 4 am to you sitting on the floor of your shared apartment, uncomfortably hunched over a new project, dillegently working away with some music playing quietly on the tv? that was new.

“yn?” he calls to you, increducously, “why the fuck are still awake? don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“i quit that shit hole a week ago,” you quip at your roommate, borderline snapping at him, “and you’re one to talk since you’ve been in the studio since seven this morning.”

“you mean yesterday morning,” he jokes a moment before getting a bit more serious, “but seriously, are you okay, love?”

your busy hands still for a bit too long while you debate your answer to his inquiry. you sigh heavily, head falling into your palms, “i don’t know. i’m feeling guilty for quitting and being unemployed. i know i just had that interview and they were offering me the position and this is just captialistic guilt, but i can’t get it to go away, so-.”

“so, you’re stress crafting,” han sums up, plopping next to you.

“yeah,” you chuckle, bitterly, “i guess i am.”

“baby, it’s okay,” han comforts you, wrapping an arm around you, “how about you finish up your craft while i make myself some food? then we can go cuddle in your room and watch kdramas until we fall asleep. sound good?”

you smile a little at him and nod, half heartedly returning his side hug; you didn’t like being touched much. han grins at you before scrambling up to make his aforementioned late night snack.

“jisung! can you make me some, too? i haven’t eaten much today…” you sheepishly admit to your roommate. the male stops and stares at you from his position in the doorway of the kitchen, eye twitching slightly.

“we’re talking about that later, but yes. yes i can.”

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[9:23 pm] you and lee know were opposites in every aspect. he was the college’s resident bad boy complete with leather jacket, motorcycle, and an attitude to match. you were the quiet nerd who liked books and sweaters with nice button down shirts. opposites attract, as they say. but, that’s not why you fell for lee minho. no, you fell for the soft, kind personality that hid behind a waterfall of resting bitch face and nasty words. and he fell for your wit and sharp tongue veiled behind soft pastels and cottage core aesthetic.

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[12:31 pm] he remembered your first meeting like it was yesterday. how could he forget how he saw the love of his life for the first time?

lee know had decided to take a shortcut through one of campus’ less populated courtyards. immediately, he took note of a shorter figure pressed up between a wall and a bully who often took pleasure in making people cry. lee know had assumed the bully had made this poor kid his next target and really wasn’t in the mood to deal with this. but, unfortunately for him, his reputation as a bad boy and moral compass wouldn’t let him continue on.

lee know began to approach the two figures, putting on his best glare while he flexed his left hand into a tight fist. he noted the way your sweaterpaws gripped the archeology books in your grasp tighter. lee know opened his mouth to say something.

“oh, fuck off, dick weed. nobody wants to watch you get off on some poor idiot’s tears because your parents couldn’t afford to give your dumbass up to someone who would actually give a shit about your pathetic existance. now leave, before i do your parents a favor and beat you senseless.”

lee know stopped in his tracks, shock shining through his hard expression. he didn’t expect such a soft looking thing like you to have such a firey quip. and neither did the bully who sputtered something about “his father hearing about this”, leaving with his metaphorical tail between his legs. ebony irises gaped at you when you huffed, smoothing out the massive baby blue sweater you wore over your neatly pressed button up. you looked only lightly miffed despite your violent words. your eyes caught lee know’s and he swore he felt his heart stop.

you glared lightly at lee know, not at all phased by his presence, before you moved on with your day. when you locked eyes for that half a second, you felt your heart skip a beat. though you wouldn’t admit that to lee know until much later on in life.

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[3:32 pm] the sound of ocean waves calms you as you sit on the sand with boyfriend!bang chan, soaking up the sun’s rays and the soft kisses he gives you every so often.

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[6:37 pm] you had always been a sickly kid, in and out of the hospital for long periods of time with lung and heart issues. your parents were never around, both having multiple jobs to keep up with your long rap sheet of hospital bills. being in and out of the hospital and absent parents brought upon you a lonely mind set in your teen years; you had gotten so used to being lonely that you didn’t bother making any connections with your peers. until college that is. freshman year you met han jisung who was insufferably extroverted and somehow along the way, he managed to get you to befriend not only him but the seven other boys in his friend group. though you hung out with these stray kids both together and individually, you most often saw them in someone’s dorm or apartment for study sessions. which is where you were now.

you stare at your laptop in jisung and minho’s shared apartment, sleep deprived and stuck on one paragraph of your english essay while your friends chat about their various projects. your heart had been giving you issues the past few weeks, though you did your best to ignore it since the cold you were suffering from probably had something to do with it. you sigh as you feel another awkward heart beat rack through your chest, running a hand through your hair. deciding a nice drink of water might help ease the muscle and give you a small break, you move to stand, but your legs give out on you when you do manage to hoist yourself up. bang chan is at your side suddenly, a hand gently placed on your bicep, “you alright?”

“y-yeah, i think my legs just fell asleep,” you mumble, ignoring the dizziness you hadn’t noticed before.

“you sure? you look really pale, yn,” chan comments gently, the room suddenly quiet. a large hand makes its way to your forehead where chan feels like he nearly burns his hand.

“dude, you feel like your on fire,” the australlian tells you, worry dripping from his lips, “i really think you should sit back down…” his words fall on deaf ears, however, and you decide to try one more time to stand.

you don’t remember what happened after that. you do, however, remember waking up in the hospital a couple of days later. you’re surrounded by your friends who are sleeping soundly, their little snores warming your weak heart.

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[10:35 am] saying you feel like shit was an understatement. your lungs felt like they were on fire from all the flower petals you had been coughing up, but you had bills to pay. so here you were, sitting in your work’s parking lot with “killing me” by ikon playing as the soundtrack to your heart’s sorrows. you dreaded going inside and seeing the blonde austriallian that unknowingly held your heart in his hands. you knew the moment you clocked in, bang chan would give you the sweetest smile, his dimples on full display as he greeted you. just thinking about it made you heave into your passenger seat, blood and baby’s breath petals staining the fooor boards.

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[1:11 am] you end up playing drunken ddr with stranger!leedo for hours at the arcade. the friends you came with went home a while ago with a wink and a request to call them in the morning. despite their antics, even in your drunken stupor, you don’t believe leedo would ask such a thing of you. until its closing time and you two stand awkwardly outside trying to sober up. its clear in your body language that neither of you want the night to end, want to say goodbye. therefore, leedo asks you to go back to his place. you agree. and as morning light comes in through the blinds of leedo’s bedroom, your heart sinks when your irises settle on the picture of leedo and his boyfriend sitting atop the nightstand beside you. leedo’s toned arms wrap around your naked waist just as guilt washes over you.

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[11:23 pm] you laugh as you watch johnny and taeyong try their best to playfully fight it out in your living room, a happy smile brought to your face. you feel happy here, content with your new friends in this tiny mountain town. yuta takes your hand from his spot on the couch beside you, squeezing it gently before he too gets up to playfully squable with the two good looking men in your living room.

your doorbell sounds and you move to get up, muttering a “that must be taeil.” you make your way over to the slab of wood and open it. and there he stands. jaehyun looks like a god amongst men as he stands before you, making your heart race and your lungs close up. he hasn’t changed much in the six months you’ve been absent from his life - he dyed his hair back to a natural color instead of that hideous pink lucas dared him to dye it in during a drunken night out and he looks a little bulkier than the last time you saw your gym rat of a best friend. but he’s still the jaehyun you know. mark, lucas, and jungwoo stand beside jaehyun, but you barely register them as your chest is suddenly racked with pain. you quickly cover your mouth as flower petals fall out from between your teeth, a pained wheeze of a cough eminating from your body as you fall to your knees. someone shouts your name and a hand on your back soon follows. taeyong soothes your coughing form as jaehyun looks on in horror as his best friend coughs up flower petals. suddenly it all makes sense to jaehyun, why you were “busy” a few weeks before you up and disappeared, why you started making excuses over a year ago to get out of hanging out with jaehyun, why you told him he reminded you of striped carnations. jaehyun stared at the aforementioned flower petals on the ground, your thick crimson life force dripping off the delicate looking item. then he’s staring at the ground slightly, pain eminating from his cheek as he sits up to glare at the boy who socked him just now.

“yuta...!” you attempt to scold him only to let out another wheezing cough.

at least, thats what you had wished actually happened. instead, you held down the flower as jaehyun flashed you his dimpled smile in the door way. you let your old friends move past into your empty apartment, yuta and the others having gone home an hour prior to jaehyun’s arrival. you sat with them in your living room and listened to all the things that had changed since you’d left. you even let them tease you about leaving without warning, all the while choking down the flower threatening to come up. you don’t know how long they stayed, but by the time you saw them off with promises to meet again the next day, your lungs were ready to burst. you heaved into your toliet while tears burned your face, sobs and hiccups making your head feel light in between heaving. yuta tried to calm you down as your phone lay somewhere on your bathroom floor, telling you to hold on until he arrived.

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[6:34 pm] walking down the sidewalk of your neighborhood, earbuds in as the convience store bag swings at your side and the sun begins to set. being back home feels weird after so many years spent abroad and you honestly wish you would have come back for less depressing circumstances - your mother was a good, kind woman. a pale blue truck whizzes past you on the street, a familiar group of boys in the bed of the truck laughing at something the driver and passenger were saying. one of the boys catches your eye for a split second when they pass, the boy’s eyes widening in shock. you pull up the hood of your hoodie as the truck slams on its breaks with a squeal at the end of your street, johnny nearly sending mark, donghyuck, and whoever else was in the back out of it. you round the corner and pick up the pace a little bit, painfully aware of the nine sets of eyes on you now. you head up the drive way of your mother’s home and head inside, shutting the front door. you drop your grocery bag with a thud on the tile, your body sliding down the wood of the door while you let out a few pained sobs. seeing your friends - though you’re unsure if they still want your friendship - sent you tumbling over the edge, all the grief and regret from the past couple of years catching up with you. you curl into yourself and fall asleep that night at the front door, tears staining your cheeks.

its the day of your mother’s funeral when you see your former friends next. you know they had been trying to contact you in the week between that fateful evening and now. you could hear their knocks at your front door while you hid away in a different part of the house, peering between the blinds to see johnny’s baby blue jeep on the sidewalk. your mother’s funeral was spent with very few people, a few of your cousins and aunts and uncles joining in mourning your mother - she wasn’t very popular in the family for reasons unknown to you. you didn’t see your friends until you were sat at her tomb stone when everyone left, night falling fast as you pray that she was with your father. you’re so lost in thought that you don’t hear footsteps joining you until taeyong’s hand is on your shoulder in a comforting way. you turn to your former friends, finding them dressed all in black with lillies on their suit jackets for your mother - it was her favorite flower. in this moment you realize that maybe they still are your friends and that your heart never truly left home all those years ago. you may have ran from the inevitable, but your heart remained in seoul, south korea.

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[10:22 pm] the light of the moon cascades upon your pillow as you fight to stay awake. you don’t want to go to sleep quite yet, knowing full well you’ll be awake at the odd hours of the night anyways. the reason for your lack of sleep was simple; the fever you had been running hadnt gone down — and wouldnt be anytime soon — and with your boyfriend being out of town with his friends for the weekend, your sleep schedule is erratic even without the added illness. arms snake around you suddenly and you jump at the feeling, eyes snapping open to see a dark sillohette standing over you. “you’re burning up,” kun frowns at you, his voice making you relax. “just a small cold,” you slur, words heavy with sleep, “‘ll be okay.” but your words dont reach him as your doting significant other is already rummaging through the medicine cabnet in your shared bathroom, no doubt looking for some meds for you. “kun,” you whine, “please i just wanna go to sleep...” “take some medicine first,” kun chuckles at you as he returns from his small errand, “then we can sleep.” with a small nod and a pout, you begrudgingly take the medicine before kun settles down beside you. nuzzling your face into his neck, kun sighs in contentment while he tangles your guys’ legs together. despite your apparent illness, kun couldnt help but think that you were cute.