kpopmomtexts - Tumblr blog

[kpopmomtexts]

Kihyun: you won't believe what my kids did today.

Jin: did they burn the house down?

Jinyoung: did they make memes out of embarrassing photos of you?

Suho: did they run away from home and not look back?

Taeyong: did they grow up when you looked away for one second?

Kihyun: what? No? Stop projecting, they cooked dinner for me before I got home. Without me asking!

Hakyeon: well that's anticlimactic, we don't want your wholesomeness here.

[kpopmomtexts]

200 Followers!!!

So somehow we got this many followers and i just want to say thats wild and thank you for loving my crackhead mind. I'm @teambigmantiddie and so far I've made all these crack posts but @monsta-x-texts has been my biggest inspiration and enabler of my crackhead mind.

I know I don't post on a strict schedule or anything but nonetheless, I'm grateful you guys have found these texts to be funny enough to follow.

Please look forward to more kpop "mom" texts in the future and I have plans for the "dad's" of kpop as well.

[kpopmomtexts]

Kihyun: there's no justice in this world. You can't trust anyone and every one is fake.

Taeyong: um... Who hurt you?

Jinyoung: did someone forget your birthday again? Lol.... No wait... It hasn't passed yet right?

Kihyun: shut up jinyoung, that's not it. My kids decided they wanted to cook dinner, except they decided it's seafood night.

Taeyong: I... Don't see the problem??

Kihyun: I HATE SEAFOOD DNKSKWKAK it's like they don't even know me or care.

Jinyoung: okay but.... When's your birthday again?

[kpopmomtexts]

Jinyoung: ew, it's so hot outside, I hate it.

Jin: it's called summer. It's supposed to be hot

Jinyoung: first of all, no one asked you and second, I'd like my skin to not melt off, thanks

Chan: um, Yugyeom took over the kiddie pool I had out for Felix and Jongin, could you maybe handle that?

Jinyoung: oh shit, he actually did it, heat relief here i come

Chan: what.

[kpopmomtexts]

Special Maknae POV edition

Yugyeom: guys, I think my mom is trying kill me again.

Jungkook: okay but what did you do this time?

Yugyeom: How dare you assume I did something wrong?

Changkyun: Is that a trick question or...?

Yugyeom: alright so me and BamBam might have 'accidently' dyed Jinyoung's favorite shirt an assortment of colors but honestly, it looks so much better now.

Sehun: you literally deserve everything that's coming to you.

Jungkook: I'll put some flowers on your casket.

Changkyun: I'm just going to sit back and cackle. RIP Gyeomie.

Yugyeom: you guys are literally the worst.

[kpopmomtexts]

Jinyoung: I'd like to welcome to the chat another mother of crackheads much like myself.

Chan: sup, I'm the one with the kids that are currently outside trying to force each other to eat dirt while doing fortnite dances.

Jin: oh, you're going to fit right in.

[kpopmomtexts]

Hakyeon: so let's commence our monthly kid-free drinking night, state your complaints and throw out sobriety.

Suho: I want to start first, my only sane children Xiumin and Kyungsoo have left, I'm going crazy. I could seriously cry.

Jin: mine just won't rest. I would like more than one day of peace, but nope, gotta work.

Kihyun: same tbh, I swear I'm going to just disappear for a week and sleep.

Jinyoung: I don't really have any complaints I just like the free wine.

Hakyeon, toasting: here, here.

[kpopmomtexts]

Taeyong: I'm so soft right now, jisung and chenle both just came to me for cuddles because they couldn't sleep, I love my kids

Kihyun: must be nice to have a maknae line that doesn't continuously play pranks on you

Suho: must be nice to have a maknae line that actually acknowledges you exist and isn't embarrassed of you

Jinyoung: must be nice to have a maknae line that doesn't sniff crack

Hakyeon: must be nice to have a maknae line.

[kpopmomtexts]

Jinyoung: how do I get my kids to stop acting like damn crackheads every where we go???

Jin: for anyone else, I would try to help, but for your family, there's literally no hope.

Jinyoung: okay wow, they're not that bad, I was mostly joking.

Kihyun: says the mother crackhead

Jinyoung: >:[

[kpopmomtexts]

Hakyeon: how do you guys handle so many kids, I struggle with my 5 on a daily basis

Suho: at this point, I let them raise themselves and give advice they don't listen to occasionally

Taeyong [in perpetual panic]: I literally don't know what I'm doing, I keep getting more????? Pls send help

[kpopmomtexts]

Kihyun: I need advice on how to get Hyungwon up in the mornings, this is getting ridiculous

Hakyeon: blare a horn in his ear, I'm sure he can't sleep through that

Jin: roll him out of bed onto the floor

Jinyoung: kill him, so he has an actual reason to sleep like the dead.

Kihyun: sometimes I really worry about Jinyoung, but I worry about me more because I'm tempted to follow his advice

Taeyong: omg pls dont

[kpopmomtexts]

Jinyoung: ugh I'm so tired, I need a vacation

Jin: tired of what? You literally just stay at home binge watching dramas

Jinyoung: um excuse me, I have several kids and it's hard work keeping them alive just so you know

Kihyun: but... They practically raise themselves... And not even well i might add

Jinyoung: but did they die yet?

Jin: I'm so reluctant to say... He has a point.

[kpopmomtexts]

Hakyeon: guys, I think Hyuk has been sneaking out at night recently, I'm a bit concerned.

Taeyong: omg you don't think he's doing anything bad right? Like... Like drugs?

Kihyun: no way, he probably has a secret girlfriend or boyfriend. I'd sneak out too, Hakyeon is a gossip queen.

Hakyeon: I resent that.

Jin: sooooo, do you wanna explain why you're starving your kids?

Hakyeon: ?????

Jin: Hyuk is literally in a McDonald's right now with five boxes of 20 piece chicken nuggets. He said it should last him for at least two days so he doesn't die from your bad cooking.

Hakyeon: that little shit. He could've brought back one for me too.

[kpopmomtexts]

Suho: does a certain someone want to explain why Jackson is doing parkour on the roof of my house?

Jinyoung: I don't claim that one, you can keep him. i only have one child and that's Youngjae.

Suho: what about Mark, I'll take him.

Jinyoung:.... I have two children.

[kpopmomtexts]

Taeyong: jisung locked himself in his room and I don't know what's wrong, what should I do?

Kihyun: lure him out with food

Suho: leave him alone, I'm sure he'll come to you in time.

Jinyoung: drag his ass out, mama ain't raise no bitch.

Taeyong: .... Food, I can do food.

[kpopmomtexts]

Hakyeon: so anyone else's youngest is pure evil or is it just mine? Hyuk just threatened to throw me out the window and I'm afraid he actually will.

Suho: Sehun is pretty chill. I mean, he calls me names sometimes but that's normal... Right?

Kihyun: mine just screams into the void. But as long as Changkyun helps me cook, I'm fine with it

Jin: sucks to be you guys. Jungkook is an actual angel... Or he would be if he just admitted I was right in every argument we have.

Jinyoung: lol I'm the one that threatens to throw Yugyeom out the window. You're parenting wrong.

Hakyeon: ..... We're all fucked up aren't we

[kpopmomtexts]

Taeyong: Suho, are your kids okay? Half of them are outside howling like wolves.

Suho: it's fine, it's just a phase

Jinyoung: lol like your marriage with Kris was a phase?

Jin: unnecessary but hilariously true

Suho: why am I even in this chat anymore?