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[kpoprav3n]

Little Things

Or: How G-Dragon would be in those private little moments... Tooth-rotting fluff because I miss him and I love him and honestly the world needs more of this kind of content.

GIFTS, ok, so, he isn’t really super materialistic, like, he enjoys quality things but he’s not snobby or greedy about things, but for his baby?  Oh, for his baby, he’d buy anything and everything.  You said “ooh!  This rock is so pretty!” about some pebble someone was displaying in a shop?  He quietly goes back and negotiates a deal to buy it and gives it to you as soon as he gets home with the biggest grin on his face, it would get a little out of hand if you’re like me and really just have a thing for shiny rocks and shit but he’d also help you display them and make them look nice and he’d also give you little things that remind him of you, he’d rarely buy big-ticket items aside from gift-giving occasions but he loves giving you little things that make you smile, he thinks that’s even better than the huge freak-out at things like a new car or awesome computer or whatever, and maybe some of his gifts would be more intimate but usually they’d be sweet, like, by the second year you’ll have a whole bed full of stuffed animals from a giant bear to beanie babies if you like them.

100% makes art and music for and about his baby, always shows them to you first, nervous every time but you love them every time, his heart shows through even if it’s in ways others might not understand.

CUDDLES, oh my god, he’s a cuddly baby, especially when he’s tired, you go to pick him up from a late night at the studio and he hugs you so tight and doesn’t let go until you gently tell him he can have all the cuddles he wants when you get home.  And once you get home, he’ll practically tackle you onto the nearest comfortable object- couch, bed, rug, whatever- for more cuddles, 50/50 if he wants to be cuddling you or to be cuddled by you but you get a feel for how to tell which pretty quickly, and if you play with his hair?  You may have to carry him to bed if you’re not already there, poor tired baby.

Random kisses.  Jiyong is romantic, deep down, he’s shown that sometimes and just in general what a sweetheart he is, and kisses are probably one of the best simple ways to show affection.  You’ll be doing something, working or playing or writing or lounging or cooking, and he’ll come up and kiss your cheek, head, lips, neck, wherever, not looking for anything in return just...  Well, he was looking at you and got overwhelmed with how much he loves you and he had to do SOMETHING.

Last but not least, I think he wouldn’t say “I love you” too often, I think he’d say other little things that add up to it- “you look amazing today” *you say that every day* “because it’s true every day”, “thank you” *for what?* “everything”, stuff like that, not directly saying his deepest feelings in the same way over and over again but rather expressing his love in a way he finds more interesting, more open, and easier, it’s not those 3 big words but it means even more to him to say all these little things to you and see you smile and blush a little and maybe you even hug him and he wraps his arms around you and breathes in your scent and for a moment, for him, everything is right with the world.

[kpoprav3n]

Dear anti-maskers...

I wear a binder, I have sensory processing issues that make wearing a mask hard (and I don’t just mean uncomfortable, I mean rising anxiety, some part of my brain constantly saying “take it off” at a volume dependent on my level of stress anywhere from annoying whisper to screaming into a mic attached to a top-of-the-line arena speaker system, etc.), I take precautions to minimize the risks to myself as I go out to make sure I’m not endangering others.  Anti-mask people, what do you think it does?  There are people wearing bandannas over their faces and that checks the boxes at least for stores, I haven’t looked into if it’s effective enough or not but I know based on what the masks DO, it’s something, because the masks catch respiratory droplets, the masks catch the spit and lung-juice you breathe out that may have infectious microorganisms living in them (thereby protecting others, though imperfectly since small droplets might escape and that’s why the 6 feet rule is important and I hope you respect that, if for no other reason than the comfort of those around you, even if you see our anxiety about it as irrational, it’s cruel to intentionally do something you know can cause it to spike).

You may be asymptomatic, you may be healthy, but you don’t know, that could change quickly and you wouldn’t have a clue, sure you may have gotten tested, but how long did it take the results to come in?  Did you come in contact with anyone since then?  What about just before?  In the day leading up to it?  I’m not sure how long it takes for you to test positive from first contact, are you?  Do you KNOW 100% that you’re negative?  No, you don’t, let’s be 100% honest, and that is scary, I recognize that.

I recognize the fear, and I understand it.  When this first started, I was terrified, too, and there’s still a little fear deep down that manifests as anger, so I understand, anti-maskers, please know I’m not saying you’re dumb, I’m not trying to insult you.  I’m trying to explain why your fear is misdirected.  You think it’s trying to silence free speech?  Get one with a pro-free-speech message, a screaming mouth, something to symbolize your freedom of speech, and keep speaking through it, raise your voice, I know you have it in you.

Struggle to breathe?  I do sometimes, I also do sometimes without a mask on because of my binder.  My solution?  Rest, slow down, if you’re going to be late, call and explain that you’re walking there and struggling to breathe, they’ll understand that breathing is a necessity and you’ll only be a few minutes more than you otherwise would be, relax a little, take big, deep breaths (I forget this one sometimes so the reminder is for me, too).  Speak normally and clearly, you don’t have to shout through masks, they muffle speech some but no more than maybe when you get a hoodie stuck over your face.  You’ll be ok, I promise.  Consult a doctor if you still struggle to breathe when taking these steps, of course, I’m not a physician, just someone who wears a binder a lot and so knows a thing or two about how to catch one’s breath.

Worried the government is doing something to the masks?  They aren’t, but if you don’t believe me (which, why would you?), make one yourself!  Put those lifeskills you’re so proud of to use, sew it yourself, have fun with the design, cut up that old shirt you love the design of but can’t wear!  I have one that’s got lace on the edges, it’s annoying but hey, express your individuality and make one like that if you want it!  I didn’t make mine, it was a gift from my dad, because he and I both wear glasses, which brings me to that, if you have glasses and they get fogged up by normal masks, look for ones with wire in the top, so you can press it down over your nose and the breath won’t go up, it’ll go out the sides or bottom, or retrofit one you already have with wire, you can do it!

Think COVID-19 is spread by 5G towers?  Scientifically, again, no, but you don’t have to believe me, try attaching something that blocks radiation to the outside (the inside would be uncomfortable, put padding in there obviously) to keep the sensitive flesh inside your nose and mouth safe, that’s a prime vector for not just viruses and such but also radiation because it doesn’t have the protection skin does, and you can take control of protecting it!

Everyone is scared, and it manifests as anger sometimes.  It’s ok to be scared and frustrated, it is valid, I know people have been lashing out at anti-maskers, as much as the primal “us good them bad” monkeybrain instincts I have love that, it’s not how the way to go.  Anti-maskers, I know you’re scared, I know you’re frustrated, it’s ok.  I disagree with your points 100%, I also think we can have a calm, rational conversation about fears I see as irrational, because I know what it’s like to have a fear others consider irrational, to have fears I consider irrational.

I’m 22 and I’m scared of the dark because my brain goes into overdrive with terrifying scenarios of intruders and monsters, and logically, I know none of them are realistic, I also check my locks every night, remind myself how high my window is off the ground, lock my bedroom and closet door, and sleep with a night light, because sometimes you don’t have to get rid of the fear, you just have to find a way around it, and that’s ok.  I’m also terrified of spiders because I know how venomous some are, others will say that it’s irrational because they’re tiny and I’m big compared to them, we have antivenoms, we have modern medicine, and that’ll keep me safe.  I disagree with the idea that it’s irrational, I don’t become completely helpless when I see a spider, I can handle them in my own way, my fear drives me to deal with them differently from others.  Maybe your fears are rational.  Maybe they aren’t.  But either way, I hope we can come to an agreement about wearing masks.

I hope no one sees this as condescending, I’m not trying to be, I just think maybe people are reacting out of fear and not understanding and I hope my words can do some good in this situation.  I’ve lost older relatives, though not to COVID, and I know how much it hurts, and I just don’t want to see anyone hurt in this situation.  And to those who agree with me but wear your masks over just your mouth or don’t think you need it in XYZ situation that is not “I’m home alone/with the person/people I live with”, wear your mask properly and you do need it, thanks!

[kpoprav3n]

Intimacy

A/N: So uh yeah I threw this together and it’s a lot fluffier than I expected, but like Chan does seem like that type of person to me, to relax most when he’s as close as he can be to the person he loves.  Gender-neutral, somehow, I didn’t even try that hard to make it gender-neutral but it worked out.  Not proofread since I’m antisocial and don’t know anyone who I know would be ok with reading this kind of thing. Please like/reblog/follow if you enjoy it and remember, kids, fanfic is fantasy, always follow best practices for safe-sex IRL!

Chan works late, everyone knows this, everyone is familiar with his VLives and his dedication.  They also know you keep him company some nights, they assume you lounge around and remind him to eat, coax him to get some rest, and you do, but you also help him relax.  One of both of your favorite ways to relax is a bit...  Unconventional.

“Damnit!  It’s all wrong, I can’t...  I can’t get it right, what’s wrong with me?  Can’t even figure out what’s throwing everything else off...”  Chan’s voice is loud in the quiet of his studio, and you slide off your perch in the chair behind him, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around him.  “Chris, baby, nothing’s wrong with you, except maybe how stressed you are.  Want to relax?”  Your voice is soft, soothing, it makes him pause and take a deep breath.  He nods.  You climb into his lap, already ready for what’s about to happen.  You open up his pants and slip his still-soft member into you, gently, feeling it start to fill out inside you.

His soft sigh makes you smile.  It’s full of relief, as though his tension is bleeding away as he hardens inside you.  It’s intimate, gentle, it’s what you’ve been ready to do since you arrived, and you settle onto his lap as usual, still and wrapped around him.  His arms wrap around you tightly, his head is tilted back, eyes closed, breathing quick but deep.  After a moment, he smiles at you, eyes full of love and gratitude.  “You always know what I need.”  You know what he means, he never says he loves you in his studio, he’s too wary of ears listening in, which is why you two never fuck properly when you’re in there, only this, this closeness, him inside you, neither of you moving too much, not trying to get off, just enjoying the feeling of intimacy.

He had asked for it initially, shy and worried he was pressuring you into it, but you loved it, loved feeling so close to him even when he can’t give you real attention.  It’s like a reminder, a physical representation of his love and need for you.  He fits perfectly inside you, not too big, not too small, it feels like a puzzle coming together every time, and it makes you want to cry with joy.

“Want to hear what I’ve been working on?”  You nod, smiling as he puts the headphones on you and hit play, and as his voice fills your ears again, you swear internally you’ll get him to give you one of his demos one day, just his voice and the instrumentals, it sounds heavenly.  “Sounds good to me, but if you think it needs more work, you’re the expert,” you say finally when it’s over, opening your eyes that you hadn’t even realized you’d closed, only to find him staring at you again, smile on his face, eyes full of love.  A look you’ll never get tired of.