kristsingto

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It was you. No, it was you.

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I have to taste it then.

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TEAM TAM TAKES A STAND [EPISODE 5 EDITION]

THE DEFENSE FOR MY CLIENT TAMTAWAN HAS ARRIVED.

I need to rewatch this episode eighteen more times to get my head more fully around it, but I wanted to talk about how I thought the main point of this episode was done very well. Namely, showing the audience that Tam has had reason to believe that Phi has been careless with his heart and his feelings in the past.

The very first thing we get as the episode starts is this flashback in which Tam reminds Phi of the promise they made before this visit: since Tam's mother is arriving on Saturday (which is presumably the next day) they're not going to do anything physical; they're only going to work. I got the impression from this that Tam's mother didn't know about their relationship, but either way, what matters is that Phi made Tam a promise.

This is immediately followed by a sequence of sexy flashbacks confirming that they did not, in fact, only do work.

And we also know from later on in the episode that Phi started it and broke his promise to Tam:

["key did you just make this post to post these screenshots?" NO I AM GOING TO MAKE A SEPARATE HORNY POST ON MAIN LIKE A RESPECTABLE CREATURE OF BASE INTEREST THANK YOU VERY MUCH]

Like, Tam does totally go along with it, so it's not like Phi forced him. That's not the point I'm making. It's just important to note that Tam asked Phi not to do anything three times:

1) Before they got to the house 2) Before they went into the house, and 3) Literally while Phi is making moves on him

I think Tam went to those lengths because he knew himself well enough to know that if Phi did start something, he wouldn't be able to tell him no. After all, look at that last frame! Phi asks him, "Can I do this a little?" while kissing Tam's neck. He is technically asking permission, and Tam doesn't tell him no, but this is after Tam has already asked him not to three times!!!

So it seems like the narrative is showing us a particular flaw in their previous relationship: that Tam often gave in and let Phi have whatever he wanted, and Phi was happy to take and take from him, probably without even noticing he was doing it.

Until…

HE TOOK IT TOO FAR, YOUR HONOR.

When Phi came back from grocery shopping, he left the door open:

I was sitting there with cat roommate senses like, "Close the door, close the door, close the door, close the fucking door!!!" wondering if it was a production mistake or if the characters just didn't care.

But then…

Tam notices mid-kiss that the door's still open and starts to panic that Sosay's gotten out.

Phi, less fond of the cat and more interested in making out, makes the point that Sosay was a stray and she can handle herself.

Let's break down the whole argument, shaaall we? :D

Phi says, "She'll come back. Let's keep going." Assuming the flashbacks are linear, they've already slept together (at least) once, so Phi's going for another round. Another round after the one Tam asked him not to pursue!

When Phi keeps pressing him, Tam snaps at him, and crucially, Phi looks confused.

Tam is basically like, "I am no longer thinking about sex, I am thinking about my missing cat."

To which Phi is all,

"She's a stray, she can take care of herself. Why are you so worried?" Or, translated: "But I want to have sex with my hot boyfriend."

And Tam is correctly like, "Cool, you don't care about my cat, but you also don't care about me since I am visibly distraught about my cat. Also, you keep trying to sleep with me when I told you that was off the table."

Critically, even though Phi broke his promise, it was only this time when Phi left the door open and Sosay got out that Tam actually stopped him. And I think the reason he loses his temper like this is because he was telling himself he should have stopped him before.

Like, this is definitely Turned On but I detect a bit of annoyance there, too.

Also, check out this subtle moment!

This is the same night they found Sosay! (Or Sosay found them.) Tam finishes working on whatever they came to work on, and Phi gives him a massage. Notably, Tam thinks Phi being sweet and accommodating is weird.

And, tellingly, Phi isn't actually doing it to be sweet and accommodating. Moments after making Tam beam so happily, Phi goes in to bite his ear and kiss his neck and bulldozes past Tam's reminder of the promise he made.

Tam thought Phi was giving him a massage to be kind.

Phi was actually doing it to get laid.

But again, what makes this a really good conflict is that one could assume that from Phi's perspective, Tam isn't making it super clear that this is a boundary he doesn't want crossed. You can almost see in Tam's face when he tells himself it doesn't matter. That what he asked Phi for wasn't that important, really.

But isn't it kind of heartbreaking to watch that moment of Phi cradling Tam's face in his hands and think maybe Tam believed this was a simple act of kindness. That Phi really did just want to give him a massage and tell him he did well.

That for all he does for Phi day in and day out, he got some affection that stayed within the night-long boundaries he asked Phi to respect?

Perhaps from Phi's perspective, he was just being affectionate. No one was actually home, after all. He probably didn't think Tam was going to be upset and hurt when he pushed him for sex. We can see he didn't take the promise super seriously even at the start of the episode where he salutes in the adorable way he does. It's a very, "Sure, sure, I promise. Wink~"

Like, if you haven't watched Singto's solo MV "Consent" from Tam's perspective, absolutely go give it a watch, because it's very clear that Tam has an extremely different perspective of their relationship. (Also, Singto has the sweet and mellow voice of an angel and he does not get enough love for it.)

Phi's greatest grievance in his song is how Tam left him.

But Tam has specific complaints from their actual relationship.

Obviously, the best thing to do when one has issues in one's relationship is to talk about the issues with one's partner, but if characters did everything right all the time, then we wouldn't get stories about ex-boyfriends who squabble and then have sex about it.

I think Phi's not getting Tam's breakup reason because there's some piece of it Tam can't tell Phi yet, but I think we're not getting the reason because the narrative put us squarely on Phi's side in the first episode, and now it's gradually showing us that Phi wasn't an angel.

Think about how much we knew about Phi from the start: his job, his condo, all his possessions, his colleagues, his boss, his reputation, his fanbase, his university days, his ex-boyfriend, his award, his billboard, etc.

Now think about what we knew about Tam in episode one: he studied abroad in Australia. He dated Phi. They broke up. He's really hot. He came back because Yong said, "If you still love him, come back."

We spent all of episode four with Phi's mother.

It's only in episode five that Tam's is mentioned.

And I think this is all very intentionally and cleverly laid out. Because Phi already knows a lot of what we're going to see, but his perspective is going to change. Like in this episode, he relives the night Tam adopted Sosay, which was also a night they fought and Phi went out to find Tam's cat to make amends.

We're literally seeing that Phi's capable of changing for the better when Tam tells him directly what he wants or needs. I think that could be the lesson Tam needs to learn.

Hard to say without the second half, but that's the impression I'm getting from the setup we have so far.

Anyway JUSTICE FOR TAM MY SON IS BEAUTIFUL AND HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

The defense rests.

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"They have trackers on each other's phones" theory gains more evidence

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Idk y’all. Tamtawan getting quickly attached to Phi’s family last episode and worked up over/narratively paralleled to a stray cat this episode makes me think we might want to hold off on judging the problematic behavior of a queer character that the story is foreshadowing has legitimate abandonment trauma related to his family, but y’all can post whatever screeds you want, I guess.

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How do Phi and Tam escape repeating the past?

So far, the events of their interlocked pasts continue to repeat in the present day. They bicker over the direction of their journalism, and the ghosts of their previous argument echo as they continue to disagree. They’re physically taken back to their university days, with the same person telling them to stick together. The pork skewers tie together their past and present as they continue to retrace the footsteps of the past - but perhaps with a different ending.

Phi and Tam hold on to their objects from the past. Particularly, Tam does, with the memory museum he calls a bedroom. He bitterly holds onto parts of their romance, from their meeting, the handkerchief, the flowers, the lip balm, and whatever else. Morning Love, the series’ theme song, is similarly object focused. Phi holds onto his tumbler from years ago. Holds onto Tam. And Tam does the same.

As Phi returns to his childhood home, so does he return to a more childish self. And to a life before he lost Tam. Tam returns to memories of when his pining finally became requited, and they dance around each other in the bed Phi grew up in, and in which they kissed for the first time. But this time, while, they don’t kiss, and there are no sweet get-togethers, they both flirt with the possibility. Just barely resisting the past. Even as they live out their past, a mimicry of what once was.

As their story keeps on reaffirming, everything has changed, after all. Phi is different. Tam is different. And they operate in another world, with baggage they once did not have.

But they are also the same. Despite everything, the same coals are lit. This sets a precedent for the events that follow that trip down to Phi’s childhood home. Their relationship is lit once more. They’ve held onto their love for each other — their attraction. They repeat the past. The intimacy. Their bodies, together. The burning fire that kept them together.

But they’ve held onto their bitter resentment as well. Tam and Phi lash out at each other, both holding with them the anger of the past. How many times have they fought in that same house? What are all of the little bitter feelings, and large crushing emotions, that were working through them in those fights?

In both fights shown in the episode, by the end, they have reconciled somewhat, seen through their intimacy. But even more so, this echoes the past. Of working turning into sex, of Phi running after a cat who left and bringing them back (both with Sosay or Tam). In these cases, Phi is able to bring them back home. He runs out after initially dismissing it — desperate — and he’s able to find both just at the right time.

But all know how this story, if repeated, ends, by virtue of the first episode. Tam leaves.

So how do Phi and Tam change things for good? How do they escape the patterns they keep falling into? The memories etched into their bodies, lives, the objects around them? That is to be seen. But next episode, as we get introduced to Paul in-person, I wonder how much will be the same as the memories, and what will be different. How do they get a different ending? How do you get a different ending with the same person —?

Probably if you’ve both changed, far past what led to your original ending. And if The Ex-Morning is about anything, I think it’s about change. Change for the worse, for the better, and simply the new. But also what hasn’t changed, such as love.

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The Ex Morning EP5 gifs

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What the flashbacks really reinforce to me is how strongly Tam sees his worth to Phi to be in relation to the service he can provide for him, and how his view of that inherently excludes himself. The behavior is really obvious in each episode of the series - and I think that it's definitely core to the main problem within their otherwise idyllic past relationship.

The dynamic is sweet, but you can really see where it can go wrong, and how Phi can easily be unaware of the problem.

"How could Earth survive without the light of the sun, right? So, you have to keep being the sun and shining your light for me, okay?" "Sure. I'll support you forever." "Even if everyone else is mean to me, you're kind to me, Tawan." "You see? I'll always need your help." "I have you by my side. I have nothing to be afraid of, right?" "Oh, buddy. You're the best. You really pay attention to me." "You're important to me. You help me with everything without me even asking. Thank you so much for helping me with everything." "I was really heartbroken but I feel better now. Tam helped me a lot. Mom, Tam is a really good guy. So good that I wanted to bring him to meet you and show that you don't have to worry about me when I'm in Bangkok. I feel really lucky to have Tam. So much that I think... I want to be with him. As boyfriends.”

In the majority of all cases, Tam is supporting/helping/doing things in service of Phi. Of course, Phi greatly appreciates it, and makes that clear through dialogue. And I doubt that Phi would ever want to pressure Tam into having to always help him out, but I think it makes sense that Tam felt a sense of pressure. After all, Phi's rationale in loving Tam within his words tends to highlight Tam's support of him.

Paired with low self-esteem, a relationship dynamic where he is the helper, and perhaps seeing himself as a rebound after Phi's heartbreak over a crush (Phi had been crying over Paul just the night before they got together!) it makes sense that he would feel like he has to give in, has to prioritize Phi's dreams over his own (especially if his have less passion than Phi's).

What was Tam holding back before he left? Did it explode? Until we know, I’m going to loop Consent and consider how to get a fictional character therapy.

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The Ex Morning EP4 gifs

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Came back empty-handed, then even tried to get on his nerves! True!

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I woke up at 4 and was like "I'll get back to sleep" but then I looked at tumblr and now I have to blog about gay television!#justlittlepridemonththings

But yeah I want to share my take on The Ex-Morning! Because I feel unwaveringly certain as of now that Tam was externally pressured to leave Phi. Between his foreshadowing-y recklessness at the CCTV catching them doing PDA at work, and that absolutely gutting conversation where he asked if "we" would ever be ready for marriage, clearly meaning "our society as a whole" as much as he meant "our relationship after I leave you tomorrow morning", I have no doubts whatsoever that this was not a choice he made for a single voluntary reason. Whether someone actually threatened Phi's career or just maliciously reminded Tam their relationship could fuck everything up for Phi, and he internalized that to his core, I do not know, but I remain absolutely certain that he did not make the choice to leave on his own steam and that we have been given all the cues that the steam behind him was external and weaponized homophobia.

In some ways this is less interesting to me than if there had been real unresolved problems in their relationship that drove an immature, conflict-avoidant Tam away instead of acknowledging or working through them, but I didn't honestly truly expect that from a GMMTV show, I just... hope one day we will get an Exes QL that lets the relationship be that level of realistically fraught (side note: first reaction to clocking homophobia as the breakup reason was "oh my god, that's so Chaser Game W of them").

Nonetheless, the "Do you think we'll ever get there?" conversation was soooooooo devastatingly acted that I truly can no longer remember why I wanted anything but meowmeow4meowmeow from this ship lolol

Plus, there is something absolutely wonderful and unexpected to me about how their relationship progressed this episode that could not have happened if there were deeper unresolved issues between them. I typically really hate it when crucial backstory is drawn out til the last possible minute for climactic endgame reveal reasons, but that's because it usually does stand in the way of the relationship meaningfully moving forward in a way that won't be erased. So I LOVE how TEM has approached this: Tam is not ready to tell Phi why he left, but the fact that there IS a "why he left", that he is in so much visible pain about it, that he is no longer pretending he was never gone at all or that he didn't hurt Phi, that he's (explicitly!) sorry and he has SOMETHING he wants to tell Tam... that, itself, is a communication. That, itself, is more information than Phi has had for this entire brutal period of his life. Having confirmation that there is a reason Tam chose to leave that is still this hard to articulate surely must reassure Phi on at least some level that it is what we always hope for in these situations: he didn't just fall out of love with me, get bored, and leave without ever looking back. The huge fracture and rift that destroyed my life wasn't exclusively experienced on my side. He's not playing with me when he appears to still feel something for me now; he very possibly never stopped.

So when Phi shamelessly (and this really is his most toxic trait and I am so appreciative that he does still have such toxic traits lol) checks if Tam is ready to let him back in yet despite a lack of real explanation, it honestly makes total emotional sense to me that Tam's answer is "yeah, kind of." Because he doesn't have all the information he needs and deserves, but he has enough to begin babysteps healing, and for the reckless, still-in-love part of his heart to want to start trusting again.

Idk, to me it's just so much more realistic than forcing tension and distance until the climactic reveal scene. I really relate a lot to Phi as a character because what I always crave most is information and answers, it is the uncertainty that drives me insane and makes me unable to trust or move on. And I just love when characters communicate in ways that aren't a direct conversation. I think this would be such a frustrating series for me if Tam was pushing himself up against Phi every other minute without any actual communication happening, but I paradoxically love it when it becomes a kind of nonverbal communication. I can't tell you why I left, yet, but I can show you over and over and over again that I want to be here with you, that I never actually stopped.

Which also makes it SO MUCH FUN!!! that the premise for the next episode is they have to fake-date in front of Phi's mom, play act what it would have looked like to never break up, when neither of them actually wanted to break up in the first place, or stopped loving the other. I can't waittttttt.

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Our king manages to continue being a grumpy kitten despite all the horrors

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I wasn't obsessed with The Ex-Morning to start, but I trusted it would hit me eventually. You see, the thing I love about Lit Phadung as a director is that he never tries to be above the classic Thai BL aesthetics. The production hallmarks are all there: dialogue-heavy stories with generic comedic scoring and stable cameras theatrically focusing on people rather than any dynamic or poetic cinematography. He chooses works that bring broad, obvious characters to life for us. The work of his I've seen--the full SOTUS series, Love Mechanics, Love in Translation, and currently The Ex-Morning--is remarkably unpretentious, always skirting the line of cheesy. This all sounds hardly complimentary. And yet. And yet!

A few episodes in, his series begin to unobtrusively swell like a tide moving in with the density of the characters and thematic subtext. Episode 6 in SOTUS S inspired me to research and write a whole 20 page essay on the 4 Act structure. Episode 3's where The Ex-Morning hooked me. An example of a master at work in episode 3, we get the shipping-moment where Tam grabs Phi's hand, a perfect example of how Lit layers quiet symbols amongst the cheese of romance. The narrative set-up here gives us classic BL. Blatant skinship edited and closely framed to make it impossible to miss or misread its romantic implication. We even have a fujoshi observer to remind us the gaze we're meant to use.

fighting certain urges about the hair on Singto's hands

But P'Lit and screenwriter Aof--who I've argued appears to have adapted these techniques from P'Lit's work on SOTUS--layer this shot with other visual information. In zooming to the hands, the ring, the mala bracelet, and the act of writing get secretly highlighted amongst the yaoi content. The show has not pushed us hard to think about their meaning yet, but there's been a subtle focus on jewelry and accessorizing already and the Buddhist themes have been an emerging question, too. It's just one of many examples in the series where the questions of materialism, emotional attachments, authorship, and queer embellishments arise without hammering the audience over the head with it.

And then on top of these visual strategies, Lit consistently draws out overwhelming performances from his actors that imbue what might otherwise be camp with a raw humanism, heightening the stories beyond run-of-the-mill romcom plots. With their flawed, conflicted characters and unflinching portrayals, they're tests of empathy.

It's no surprise he's launched the careers of several renowned pairs--Kristsingto, DaouOffroad, YinWar (not their first outing, but the one that elevated them past their peers). In a P'Lit world you get to play a full range of emotions, and he's not interested in requiring violence or high-concept plots to experience those feels. It's pure romcom, with the full breadth of its possibility, which is something I adore.

Lit's not an auteur by the traditional definition. His vision's not singular, his work not so marked by his idiosyncrasies to be easily chosen out of a lineup of his peers. I think it's better for that. He intricately crafts his works so that you don't have your attention drawn to its craft or intricacy, letting the story and characters, which at first might seem silly, take hold of your soul.

[kristsingto]

Trying to make sense of Tamtawan leaving Padtaphi, as of ep.3

Spoiler Warning

Since before the series began, my working theory has been something to do with the mafia/other unspecified antagonistic force that poses the threat of death. While it’s clear that the original synopsis is not 100% reliable (especially since there were massive rewrites, and a lot of what is in the series already doesn’t completely match up) I do think it makes sense.

To clarify for people who haven’t seen the original synopsis, it states that Tamtawan came back to “find the mafia who exposed the video that destroyed Pathaphee's reputation and put his life in danger.” 

A lot from the original synopsis has been altered, but I think that theorizing that the mafia will still play an important role is reasonable because of the scene in the trailer in which we see Phi and Tam jumping off a boat where armed men chase them. There have also been other instances in posts from the official Twitter account that showcase the characters in states of injury:

The question stands, then, of why the mafia would be after the two of them, and why Tam leaving would help anything. There’s also another big question, which is what does Yong know, and what role does he play in all of this? And why is Tam acting like this now that he's back?

I think that since they're reporters, that some sort of investigation that Phi and Tam did got them into this peril. We see in the first episode that they're both reckless and end up in a pretty dangerous situation (with Phi getting injured here, also). This ends up being good for the two of them, as they win the competition, but also sets a dangerous precedent for their future investigations.

If they work together on investigating the mafia, then I think it could be something that really gets their new show to get eyes on it and brings back Phi's reputation. And if the mafia being behind Phi's cancellation (though it's unclear why within the original synopsis) holds true, then it will all properly come full circle.

Okay, now we come to why Tam left if all of this is happening. I'm not sure of why - but I think it would make sense if he left in some sense for Phi's sake. Maybe in his head, he took on this dangerous business while Phi got to live out his dream? Tam seems more invested in Phi getting to live out his dreams than his own dreams, so I doubt certain theories (such as Tam leaving solely for a great opportunity in Australia).

So, why didn't Tam tell Phi anything, and why does he continue not to? I think that perhaps Tam is working on both restoring Phi's reputation and in handling the mafia problem by himself, and doesn't want to burden Phi with the latter. The question is, why, and how doesn't Phi know if Tam does? Perhaps, in actuality, Tam is singularly the one in trouble with the mafia/with ties to it, and they're getting to Tam by targeting Phi? In that case, I can see why he would cut off Phi as harshly as he could bear to and then get as far away from him as possible. Live out your dreams, don't worry about me. Leaving the country could also, then, be a choice Tam made for his own safety. If the mafia is tied to Phi's cancellation (the cameras being running) then of course Tam would come back.

Another option is that Phi and/or both of them are in fact in trouble, but that in leaving, Tam is somehow able to lessen things? Phi is a public figure, so I wonder, also, how that would factor into this.

What does Yong know? He's still in contact with Tam after he left, and seems to know something about why he left that Phi does not. I imagine that he is somewhat involved in Tam's leave. Perhaps Tam came to Yong before leaving, asking him to take care of Phi before he made his leave? Perhaps Yong is even more involved, somehow? I'm not sure - but what I do find interesting is a line from the mock trailer. Things may have changed, but in it, the boss character (likely who became Yong now) tells Tam "you have two options right now," which leads to Tam leaving once more. If this holds true, then it signals to me that he's much more involved than it seems. Did he tell Tam to leave, for one reason or another?

And now here's a big question that is much more relevant to our first three episodes. Why is Tam acting like this right now? Honestly, I have no idea what's going on in his head.

I think that he was devaluing the hurt his leave brought (whether purposefully or not) since Phi did technically achieve his dream as Tam saw it (become a big shot reporter). Over the first few episodes, he starts to understand, better, the sheer impact he had on Phi.

Tam's inclination to perform acts of service for Phi seems to be where most of his flirty behavior comes from. Because he wants to do things for Phi, even when Phi is still mad at him. Especially because of everything happening to him. His flirting tends to come in forms of doing things for him. Pork skewers, coffee, teaching him how to cook, defending him, etc.

His smugness is mostly present when there's proof of Phi still not being over him. I think the main question, here, is how justified Tam thinks he is in leaving, to be smug, even when the guilt is also present? And why is he acting this way when he didn't in the past?

The show doesn't give us much insight into Tam's head, other than a few scenes that show us how much he does still love Phi. Except!

While it is outside of the series proper (and as such could be different in aspects) this song is perhaps the most fascinating insight into Tam we have so far. And it's been making me think in circles about what this means for Tam within the context of my own theories and of the series proper.

He describes himself as hating himself for giving in and letting Phi take all that's his, and that he says it's fine no matter much much it breaks him inside! Tam feels at a loss to understand Phi, and says he'd wait for Phi even if he was seeing someone else. And Tam wants to "drift away in a dream." He consents to pain - to having his "heart broken" again by Phi, who he sees as heartless. And he loves him no less for it. Tam seems confused if Phi even loves him, thinks about him, and has true feelings for him. But he doesn't seem angry about the idea of Phi not loving him - he says he'll be there even so.

Phi is ephemeral in the MV, like something Tam can't quite hold onto (despite him being the one who left!) and he sees himself as a giver, performing tasks for Phi all throughout the song until it's Phi who does something for him.

So, let's unpack that. I think that this provides a lens to think about the scene this episode where Phi takes on work that Tam has to do, as well as how Tam expresses his affection for Phi within these first few episodes. He's a giver, he sacrifices himself (coming back from Australia for his sake, buying him food, talking to people for him, teaching him to cook, making his coffee, etc) and seems, while smug about Phi still being hung up on him, to not fully connect the dots about why Phi changed so much until it becomes 100% clear.

Does Tam think that Phi doesn't love him? That, perhaps, he settled for him? While it seems unbelievable from how we see Phi act in flashbacks (calling him his sun, wanting to be together forever) I think that Paul, who we see in the trailer, and is also in the novel, may explain this. From some novel spoilers I've seen and connecting the dots from BTS footage and descriptions of Paul, it seems clear that while in university, Phi had a crush on Paul (though unclear how strong) and the two had a great rapport. Does Tam feel inferior to Paul? That Phi would be better off with Paul instead of him? Jealous? I won't be going into deeper novel spoilers I've seen, but if the series follows suit, then Phi's feelings for Paul are highly important to the narrative in contextualizing Tam, and in their university life.

How does Tam see himself? It seems as if he defines himself in what he can do for/what he has done for Phi. Tam often excludes himself from Phi's more "together" type of dreams. He's the producer to his reporter, in "service" to Phi in a certain way. Then what is his degree in Australia? Did that perhaps boost his confidence? Tam is visibly different in how he holds himself from university to now - was it time apart from Phi that actually made Tam more confident in himself alone? What now, then? (I imagine that this will be key in Tam's arc, and the positive impact that Phi ends up having on Tam now that they're relearning each other).

Was their relationship a sort of "dreamland" to Tam? Did he perhaps think it would never last forever, while Phi felt the opposite? The final night conversation before Tam left (and the billboard conversation) reveals Phi's assurance of their life together, which feels right with their relationship and the amount of time. We don't know when Tam chose to leave, exactly, but there's ambivalence in the way he responds to Phi. What is he thinking about?

My opinion on some other theories below:

I'm not leaning towards thinking that Tam leaving is connected to any fights that Tam and Phi were having in their relationship, and I think the Australia bomb is definitely something Tam didn't ever mention to Phi before leaving based off of the most recent episode. However, I do think the idea of Tam's leaving stemming from a conflict that Phi thought was over could be really interesting if it is what the series chose. The two of them did fight in 2022, but weren't fighting when Tam left. So maybe there was a major conflict between them that the two of them mostly buried, and that at the very least, Phi thinks is behind them, but that Tam was actually still hurting over? The knock I have against this is that Tam doesn't seem to have any resentment himself - but I think if it's perhaps something like not being good enough, then it explains things better.

Illness is a major reason that people have been considering, but I don't quite agree, or at least, am not a fan of it. If they go for it, then I hope it'll be interesting, but I don't think there is anything to suggest it within the series (at least, yet). Though I suppose it would explain the photo above of Tam in hospital clothes in its own way! If they do go for this one, I imagine it'll only really work for me if the decision comes from Tam having deep complexes about being a burden and it isn't really illness specifically that got him this way - it was always building inside of him. But opinions will vary!

Lemme know if you have more theories!

Other thoughts:

"Treating him like shit" is probably solely referring to how Tam broke up with Phi, because things do seem fine before Tam left. Phi is thinking about marriage, they seem to be living together, etc. I don't think that Tam was treating Phi badly before he left (at the very least, not intentionally, and not in an obviously irrefutable way).

What are Phi's unknown red flags? Krist mentioned the idea that Phi had his own red flags that he wouldn't mention, as the series isn't there yet. Do his issues explain, in part, the Consent MV and how Tam views him? The series, so far, has focused mostly on Phi's POV, and he doesn't know why Tam left, either! How would this series feel from Tam's POV? And what are we still missing?

Tam is a very "human" character (as described by KS), and "changing" is a major aspect in both Tam and Phi's arcs, so I think that there should be patience for the two of them. I think that when we're on the rewatch of the series after it ends, things will make a lot more sense. And the character arcs will have ended, showing us where the two of them end up! I'm really excited to see these multifaceted characters. Tam, in particular, really interests me.

I think Tam is financially well-off and has family money. He considers using 6 months of salary for the show this episode, and while it may be desperation, I also imagine that he'd be much less likely to suggest it if he needed that money to survive. The house that Phi and Tam lived in is Tam's, as he's staying there now (now I'm thinking about how much it must have stung for Phi to also find a new place, seeing as Tam also poked fun at him having the money to afford to propose), and I find it highly unlikely he earned all that money himself. We'll probably see more when Tam's mom shows up in the series!

Question for you all! This episode had Phi calling Tam a puppy. The official Twitter has described Tam as a cat. What do you think is more accurate in terms of dog/cat? Just a little question.

I don't want to focus on this, but the meta aspect is definitely something to consider. Tam and Phi break up in 2022, the same year as LOL Fanfest 2022, where Krist and Singto basically broke up (their work partnership) on stage. Is Tam's reason for leaving going to echo real life? I lean away from it personally (because of the other things associated with Tam leaving) but it's interesting to keep in mind with The Ex-Morning, seeing as so much of it is means to play with elements of Krist's and Singto's real lives.

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SINGTO & KRIST as TAM & PHI in THE EX-MORNING (2025)

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The Ex-Morning ☆ 01.03

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