kryolf - Tumblr blog

[kryolf]

quality photo after borrowing my uncles camera

[kryolf]

I've been absolutely hating myself and life the last days, I feel like I'm falling into such a depressive episode again. Been thinking too much about killing myself and can't get up and gain motivation to overcome these thoughts.

[kryolf]

found her shot dead in a river

[kryolf]

I hate not being able to capture the atmosphere of the forest while taking pictures

[kryolf]

I've been feeling like a total maniac the last days, I am shivering at every sensory issue and been seeing myself as fog everytime looking in the mirror.

I barely can feel human and pretend to act like I fit in.

[kryolf]

just this feeling, excited to sail on the northern sea this year.

[kryolf]

[kryolf]

[kryolf]

Also I'm so stupid because I am supposed to be in ed recovery but just refuse to actually nourishly eat at all

god i just studied for 5 hours straight in the library and haven't had anything but a mug of hot chocolate this morning which spiked my sugar levels up and kept me focused for so long but rn I'm feeling so dizzy

[kryolf]

god i just studied for 5 hours straight in the library and haven't had anything but a mug of hot chocolate this morning which spiked my sugar levels up and kept me focused for so long but rn I'm feeling so dizzy

[kryolf]

This is a bit of an unhappy post regarding our communtiy & tiktok.

Whilst scrolling on my FYP, I came across a video in which a therian was talking about 'lycanthropy', as they worded it. It essentially was something like "Is your therianthropy showing too many signs of lycanthropy?" and then the next slide said "Get help as fast as you can!"

While misinformed and just downright odd, that's not what got me.

The caption said "Therianthropy should NEVER show signs of lycanthropy." There weren't many comments, but the few that were there were clearly young members of our communtiy being TERRIFIED of the idea. "I get prey drive sometimes, but it's not bad.. (that's lycanthropy..)"

Obviously I won't post screenshots because they're identifying and this user is potentially just misinformed.

Not only is this kind of thing incorrect and scaring newly awakened beings, it's also erasing an ENTIRE part if our community and placing further stigma on, for example, endels and psychotic beings who identify with the therian label. It's 'othering' those who experience strong instincts and animalistic urges. It's downright seperating an already small community.

What about those of us who physically identify as animals? What about those of us who feel nonphysically, but still wish to call themselves that animal? Tearing apart an already small and othered community just because YOU don't feel that way and then spreading misinformation is downright wrong and harmful.

This rhetoric needs to stop. It's not helping anyone. We all belong here. We all have our rightful place in this community, whether it's more aligned with the human side or the animal side. We all belong, no matter how you experience your otherkinity or therianthropy.

We're a community. Act like it. Don't cast out your physically identifying or otherwise nonhuman siblings like this.

All of us, physically identifying or not, see what you're doing. We see the erasure and we will not stand for that.

if i got something wrong in this post, please feel free to correct me. reblogs and additions to this are more than welcome

[kryolf]

going out for a walk only go get dysmorphia and anxiety about the people you met on your way

[kryolf]

wolf on the run

[kryolf]

he just can't sit still or maybe I just suck at adjusting my phone to film him

[kryolf]

exam week officially started and today was just the worst already, I'm so exhausted and am craving some silent cool place in the woods

[kryolf]

TW for talk of suicidal ideation

I don’t know about anyone else, but being nonhuman genuinely makes me want to kill myself sometimes. I’ll never fit in. I was supposed to be an actual werewolf with the ability to shift into a wolf. I nearly got teary eyed on the bus today because intercity buses especially trigger it as I’m driving past towns that I could be a stray in as a wolf if I felt the urge to shift. It genuinely makes me suicidal sometimes because I was supposed to be able to do this. But am unable to. It’s a massive, massive urge, a need. Like something you’re born with the ability to do. That comes natural for you and is second nature. Yet I’m unable to do it and it’s all just “fantasy”. I genuinely cannot cope with that and I can’t relate to those for whose it’s all sunshine and rainbows and jumping around wearing tails. Am I glad I don’t, for example, shift into a wolf on the bus as I’m starting to get aurally overstimulated when it’s crowded? Absolutely. That I don’t shift while simply walking down a busy area or feeling unnerved due to stares I get from people passing by simply because I’m alternative? Yes. But what would I give for that to actually happen.

[kryolf]

If I'm real honest.

I don't even smoke or drink anymore, I absolutely hate the taste of alcohol and only did it a few years ago because of a shit ass 'friend' group that was mostly just punks chugging beer all the time. Weed was always passed around but I rather felt sick every time I did hit instead of any better.

I would just feel awful, aggressive not chilled out- counting for when I was drunk not high. I left all those people behind and with that any drugs I consumed.

Overall I barely remember if I ever had an experience while being on something, regarding my nonhumanity.

Nonhumans, tell me your stupid stories while being high or drunk regarding your animality.

I’ll go first: yesterday, especially as it was nighttime and I was in the city which makes me so much more shifty, I kept moving my arms towards the ground very very slightly as I was walking, until I realised what I was doing a split second later, because walking on two legs felt extremely strange and wrong, and I should’ve been on all fours. It didn’t look strange, you just couldn’t figure out what I was doing kind of hunching my back and slightly moving my arms down for a second every so often… as well as quietly growling and slightly scrunching my nose at a poor woman who sat on the bus seat looking in my direction (city bus)… yes, she left, and I hope she didn’t actually hear me, lol.