#/vent

[nardos-primetime]

Maladaptive daydreaming and hating/having no sense of self is so hard like i feel like I see people go "Oh I daydream about myself with my favorite characters" I. I cannot do that. Instead my daydreams are concepts that play out around me and I have little to no control over it unless I'm FIGHTING to keep that shit down so hard I can't do anything else. I'm not there. A fantasy version of me isn't really there. It's just the characters I like/make.

It sucks sometimes bc like I feel like I'm outcast from the small group of outcasts almost? It's weird but the perfect place for that "You're faking it" little mind trap to nestle into its comfy little spot in my brain.

[dyrdeer]

I keep seeing articles that are like "Gen Z is falling behind socially due to remote work" and like. The interpretation is always that remote work is bad - and not that capitalism is alienating by nature! Ignoring the implication that the workplace has been the only place for people to meet others for a long time. We spend so much time at our jobs we don't have time to get to know people. We're fucking exhausted when we get home. Not to mention there's no place to go to meet anyone especially if you're under 21, and especially if you don't wanna spend money. Also how miserable and time consuming commuting is - But yea, fuck those "flexible remote work schedules" that actually let people indulge in their hobbies and care for their children and not be monitored constantly by overpaid incompetent bosses.

[alexkablob]

Hey I know everyone is happy and doesn't want to hear this right now but like. Please don't let this make you forget about all of the horrible things that company has done that they absolutely have not actually gotten better about!

And before you're like "they changed!" all of the executives responsible for all that shit are still there and people who fight for change keep either giving up and leaving or getting laid off for a reason!

[katyspersonal]

gfghhFTHGHH AAAAAAA GODDAMIT OUR WORKPLACE HAS A FUCKING RAT INFESTATION 🐀 AND THE WAY WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT IT? DURING SUNDAY A RAT ATE THROUGH ONE OF THE PACKAGES 💀💀💀

[emberglowfox]

i often call my dissociation 'autopilot' because it works well as an explanation but my god do i feel like an actual robot on autopilot these days. not just because 'i'm not in control of myself' or whatever, that's normal, but because i feel like the autopilot is beginning to break down. i've been zoned out for so long that it's run out of normal behavior to reference, so it's referencing what was a shoddy replica to begin with, and that results in a lot of oddities

mostly i've been noticing myself happily responding to people without actually even looking in their direction. like my eyes and head will just lock and i'll go a whole conversation animatedly replying while looking in the wrong spot (i'm usually very good about eye contact, or at the very least looking at people). also my reaction time / processing speed is waaaay slowed to the point where i'm starting to get nervous about driving so. that's cool

[khihi]

most days i can power through and ignore the physical and psychological pain and discomfort having a skin condition causes but some days it hits me all at once how much of a toll it actually takes on my whole life... today is one of those days apparently 🤠 wuhoo

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

me, spamming @shinygoku with screenshots from "thomas and the fat controller's engines": you know, there are so many good bits here that you might start to get the idea that this is a good book

me: but you'd be wronnng

[citricsystem-moved]

It’s not a phase, mom, you literally traumatized me

[lunarlegend]

the thing that makes me so angry and hateful towards Nintendo is that they're so concerned with preventing piracy, they don't allow people to preserve their (legally purchased!) games and save data.

i lost faith in Nintendo when the NNID became a thing. because all your digital save data on the 3DS was tied to that. so just buy physical games, right?! except later 3DS games save to the SD card, not the cart. and a lot of said carts are already failing due to faulty chips. the days of ~Nintendium~ are long gone.

so just back your data up, right?! well...no. because it's encrypted. your 300 hour save file? yeah, it can only be used with the same exact game you bought. and only on your account. which is tied to one 3DS. and you can't really make backups because the game generates a new encryption key every time you save. oh, your SD card died?? too bad! guess you're gonna have to start over.

the Switch, despite having the option for cloud saves, is somehow just as bad. because besides Nintendo's cloud backup service (that you pay for...and can't access outside of your account...), there is still no way to back up your data. because it's on the system memory. and it can't be moved from there. oh, and the Switch also tallies your updates and watches everything you do whenever you're connected to the internet. you know, to prevent ~cheating~.

but they gave us retro games, right?! again, tied to a service...that you pay for...on a cloud...that can't be accessed offline or without an account. you pay Nintendo to allow you to play your favorite games. forever. and if you lose your account or internet access, that's it.

Sony, Microsoft, and Steam do not do this. you can access your save files whenever you want, and make backups whenever you want. you can even move them between accounts and use them with different copies of the same game. your files are pretty much always safe, as long as you, the user, take the time to back them up. Steam even allows you to write purchased games to a backup disc to be restored later. essentially, your time is yours. your digital purchases are yours. as much as they can be.

not with Nintendo. that's why i can never sympathize with them as a company. because it's not about the joy of gaming with them, it's about protecting their property. always more concerned with their reputation and copyrights, never the experience of the gamer. always so afraid of cheating, they force you to be totally dependent on their services. they are like the Disney of gaming, and it makes me furious.

this is not the same company whose games made me so happy as a kid. i can only hope they wake up one day, but i doubt it.

[crowleyholmes]

why is my brain being so fucking frustrating lately it's so. It's SO. UGHHHH. Can i just be proud of myself?? Hello?? Logically I know I have reason to, and I would like to feel it please, instead of this constant self-doubt?? This constant "not good enough"?? I'm tired of it can we stop????

[kriioh]

Boy howdy is it tough to draw ;;;;

[katyspersonal]

Sigh.. I've been struggling with finding motivation to draw recently. None of my art is good. It is detailed but in all the wrong places making the vibe get lost, the coloring style is too polished but not in the way that creates a sense of nice captivating image, the neat line makes the art stiff, the way I draw faces fails at both being cute or being realistic.. But at the same time, changing my art style would feel less like 'me' drawings. Like.. art is supposed to be about SELF-expression, not about creating """content""" as kids call it that'd be polished and appeal to more people. But am I still having the right hobby when nothing I can express is even good?

[askunclejack]

of course i finally get the motivation to draw and immediately get struck with such severe eye pain and sensitivity that i get a day-long headache and can't get out of bed

[khihi]

hm. feeling annoying and embarrassing to be around today. dont like that.

[emberglowfox]

burnout

[killer-chatolouge]