kummer-speck

[kummer-speck]

The glistening post-midnight moon smirks at me while I race across the highway in pursuit of the underworld’s forbidden pleasures. Into the night, with a gut filled up to the brim with the ferocity of a man without a conscience. Hands on the wheel, full throttle like it’s the only road I know.

[kummer-speck]

I contemplate with the supremacy of a mind under the influence of mankind’s intellectual lubricants. Why do men continue to cross rivers of fire for a fleeting high that eventually manifests as the anchor for personal progress the following day? This insane yearning for a hazardous environment continues to baffle me. Day after day, I find myself succumbing to my idiocy and reluctance to settle down and evict the demons that live rent-free within the confines of my misguided thoughts.

Dawn creeps along the horizon, and here I am again with another blurry page of my liquor shaded confessions.

[kummer-speck]

It truly pains me to witness society unfold its lack of intuition and insight to see the bigger picture. Democracy as a flawed concept comes into play when selfish idiots are in charge of electing their public servants. They plant all these nasty seeds in administrative pots and complain when the fruit they bear is rotten to the core. I refuse to believe that I live in a place devoid of common sense and integrity but the sheer amount of dishonesty and ignorance appalls me.

[kummer-speck]

My heart echoes the resounding pain that is currently sweeping across the chests of the people who were finally given a chance to redeem the mistakes of their predecessors. Yet malice and corruption continues to plague the plight of a hopeful democracy.

Honest hands with genuine decisions tainted by the greed of a seemingly oblivious dictatorship family, without a single trace of remorse for the countless lives they have ruined in their reckless pursuit of power.

Amidst all this confusion and disappointment, I struggle to gather up empathy for my fellow people who are disillusioned and desperate for a once glorious past that will forever remain a distasteful staple of our nation’s long history of oppression.

The colonizers are no more. We no longer point our daggers towards the white man in corporal uniform. Instead, we feast upon our own brothers and sisters. Cannibalizing their dreams for a brighter tomorrow. What they currently see in the son of the man who plundered relentlessly, I will never comprehend.

Is it blind ignorance? Denial? Or a sad, yearning for an era that brought equal prosperity and poverty? The mind of the modern Filipino intrigues me. From the wealthiest oligarch to the poorest slum dweller, they all seem to have their eyes closed. Unable to see or remember the extent of their previous leader’s atrocities.

I also cannot help but question where the determination and spirit of the generation who ousted their dictator went off to. The same people who successfully protected their democracy many decades ago are now repeating the same mistakes that brought shame to our nation’s reputation.

The Philippines is an absolutely magnificent country with stunning geography and a history that was at the crossroads of bridging what was going to become modern eastern and western cultures. I can only contemplate with a crestfallen and downcast gaze towards my countrymen who rejected the first step to redemption. Countless heroes gave their lives for our independence and yet here we are, acting as if we truly deserve the title of the Sick Man of Asia.

I had my hopes up for you, my dearest motherland. With great patience, I watched you suffer again and again by the hands of these selfish people who have unfortunately forgotten your worth.

Im sorry we let you down once again. Napakasakit tingnan ang ginagawa namin sa iyo.

[kummer-speck]

I empathize with my fellow defeated kinsmen, whose beacons of hopes and aspirations for a new horizon are once again buried beneath the cold ignorance of history, predictably repeating like clockwork.