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I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

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actually this fucking slaps

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Source

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Tea At Three

Rating: Teen and up for gore and bodily injury

Tags: auror!Harry, potionmaker!Draco, oblivious!Draco

This is Part 1 of a four part series. Links at the bottom of the page.

“I’ll take over,” Donna said in her light Irish accent right behind his shoulder, nearly making Draco drop his stirring rod.

“You will do no such thing,” Draco said, leaning protectively over his cauldron.

Donna sighed, “It’s nearly three, innit? You always go on break at three. You’re only finishing up a blood replenishing potion, I can manage that much.”

Draco glanced over at the clock on the wall which showed five til and tried to pretend it didn’t matter, “It’s just tea. Blood replenishing potions aren’t cheap or easy to make.”

Donna was not amused. A few strands of her tightly curled back hair had fallen around her face and pushed them back irritably, “I could finish ‘em in my sleep. The first half’s the hard part. Come on then.” she nudged his shoulder.

Draco glared at her, “I am your superior.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Donna rolled her eyes, “Hired a whole year ahead of me, good on ya.”

“Why is this important to you?” Draco ask suspiciously.

Donna smirked a bit, “Your snake is showing.”

“That could be taken as harassment,” Draco said, raising an eyebrow.

Donna frowned at him, eyes narrowing. Her dark skin hid any flush of embarrassment she might have had.

The timer went off announcing that it was time for the next ingredient followed by stirring clockwise ten times, counter five. Donna did not interrupt him until he’d finished and set the next timer.

“First off,” Donna ticked a finger, “you aren’t really my type so I wouldn’t bother. Second off, you’re queer as a bottle of chips an’ don’t deny it.”

Draco flushed and glared furiously at her, though he neither confirmed nor denied it, it wasn’t worth the trouble where Donna was concerned, especially when they both knew it was true.

“As for why it’s important to me, well,” she glanced away with a grin, “you always come back in a good mood so don’t have to deal with nearly as much of your pissing an’ moaning.”

Draco stiffened, “I do not-”

“That, and you an’ Auror Potter are bloody cute together,” she went on.

Keep reading

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AU PROMPTS (university) cont.

you and i came from the same high school but i haven’t seen you on campus at all except for yesterday… when i waved hi and you didn’t wave hi back AU

“i would rather die than take this exam.” “same.” AU

you’re looking for people to be club officials with you. i think you’re cute and say yes AU

we’re part of a study group but everyone bailed so i guess it’s just the two of us AU

i can hear you when you sing in the shower… i can also hear when you, well, you know, in the shower AU

“there’s a harry potter marathon on.” “why would you tell me that when i’m studying for a midterm?!” AU

the only class i hate is the only class i’m doing beyond well in. you’re the t.a. for this class AU

“you need to shower/eat/sleep (take car of yourself).” “after studying.” “no. now.” AU

i’ve never ridden the buses here and you offer to teach me the systems AU 

+ bonus if at the end of the day person a rests their head on b’s shoulder

you’re waiting in my dorm room for my roommate to come back from class and you end up helping me on my lab work AU

this is the third time i’ve been locked outside of my dorm bc i left my student card inside. this is also the third time you’ve had to let me in AU

i’m sick with a cold and so i ask you to take notes for me in a lecture. you do more than just that AU

you’re my crush and you came over to my dorm with your friend. in the middle of the visit, i realize you’re flirting with me. at the end of the visit, i realize you were only flirting with me to make your crush jealous AU 

i’ve never gotten high/drunk before and you decide you’ll let me get high/drunk with you AU

my roommate and i aren’t getting along. now i need a new dorm and fast. “can i move into your dorm?” AU

“we can’t go back to my dorm… i have a top bunk.” “wait, i have a top bunk too.” “how the hell are we going to sleep with each other then?” AU 

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just incase you’re having a bad day, watch this

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Greg Baskwell (@gregbaskwell)

This is amazing

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I ghostwrote this

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rip vine :(

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Kiss Me Not -Part 8-

Find Part One Here!

“Did I just agree to help Pansy Parkinson become a reporter for the newspaper I loathe with every fibre of my being?” Harry said vaguely.

“It was the best outcome really,” Hermione said. She added vehemently, “Especially, if Skeeter never works again.”

“That’s my girl,” Ron said brightly, slinging an arm over both their shoulders, “Now if I don’t get to breakfast I’m going to die of starvation.”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “You’re not going to starve to death, Ron. Harry, do you want to go in? Maybe we should go to the kitchens, just until this dies down a bit.”

Harry thought about it and sighed, “I want to get it over with really.”

“Alright then!” Ron said steering them through the doors.

The initial noise in the great hall had died down somewhat since they’d stopped outside and once they entered, it died entirely, until you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was staring at Harry.

The one to break the silence ended up being Ginny, who shot off her bench and marched over to Harry with the Prophet in hand, “Is this true?”

A hiss of whispers filled the hall.

Ron said, “Gin, this isn’t really a good time-”

Ginny ignored her brother entirely, “I need to know! Why didn’t you tell me? You could have just said, I’d understand! I thought-” her voice cracked, edged with tears and she furiously pushed through, clenching her jaw and shaking her head, “I thought it was something wrong with me.” she said quietly.

Harry stepped closer to her, dropping his voice so no one could overhear, “I just figured it out myself. Raised by muggles, remember? There’s nothing wrong with you, Ginny, you’re perfect.”

“Damn right I am,” Ginny sniffed, roughly wiping her eyes.

“It’s me that’s got the worst luck, as per usual,” Harry said ruefully.

Ginny smiled faintly and punched Harry in the shoulder, a little harder than was friendly, “Well, good luck, Princess.”

Harry winced and frowned, “Why have I always got to be the princess? Can’t I be the priestess?”

“Princess fits better,” Ginny said with a shrug, going back to her seat.

Ron headed down the table to an empty space and Harry and Hermione followed. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry was aware that around the room people were popping up in ones and two. He hoped they were just trying to get a better look, but a Hufflepuff girl broke that illusion by standing and marching over to him before he had even managed to sit down.

Her whole face went red as she said, a little too loudly in her nervousness, “M-May I kiss you!?”

She clenched her hands together in front of her, looking desperately hopeful and all of fourteen if that. The other students who had stood up began rushing over, forming a line behind her.

Harry’s eyes widened and he took a step back, “I don’t-” he looked around for support and then up at the teacher’s table. Headmistress McGonagall had risen to her feet, she caught Harry’s eyes briefly and gave him a slight nod.

There was a brief clap of noise followed by a deep magic induced silence, “Return to your tables,” she paused briefly and when no one had moved added sternly, “Now, if you please.”

The line broke up and hurried back to their seats. Harry quickly sat down as well.

McGonagall paused again to sweep the room with a disapproving look, “This is not a fairy-story. You will all leave Mr Potter alone. He is not to be harassed, pressured or otherwise ambushed in order to violate his personal boundaries. There will be ramifications if anyone tries.” She narrowed her eyes and said in a low voice, “I hope that’s understood.” She took the following silence as agreement and nodded sharply, returning to her seat.

Harry loaded up his plate with a sigh.

Across from him, Seamus pulled out a notebook, flipping it open to a blank page, “Right so, let’s start off the betting with how long it takes for the first plonker to jump our boy Harry. Any takers?”

A few hands went up. Dean pulled out a handful of sickles, “Eight sickles on an hour.”

“Two sickles on ten minutes,” Ginny said with a grin, tossing her coins into the pile.

Seamus grinned and cast a tempus charm to start a counter, “Any other takers!?”

Harry groaned and ducked his head as he ate.

Once all the takers on that were up, Seamus set up a betting pool on how long it would take for someone to get detention, how long it would take before Harry was assigned a personal guard, and who would be his Priestess.

The first betting pool went to a perfect guess of twenty-six minutes when a sixth year Ravenclaw boy rushed Harry and bounced off Harry magical signature like a ping pong ball and whacked his head on the floor, knocking himself out.

Luna won eleven galleons and five sickles.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 (you are here!)~ Part 9 (Coming soon!) ~

♡ ♡ ♡ Thank you so much @danadoodleknits @randomfandomweirdo @speedilychoppedpeanut for comments and tags and being really lovely!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡

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Harry’s Soulmate

Since the response to Draco’s Soulmate was amazing (and also bc it was Harry’s birthday on Monday) I decided to write it from Harry’s perspective! I still cannot believe the other fanfic has over 900 notes! That’s actually insane. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this just as much!

“Today’s the day isn’t it?” Ron asked when Harry entered the kitchen this morning to make himself breakfast. Harry sighed and nodded. He didn’t really care about soulmates. Thought it was rubbish to have to be forced together with someone just because the “universe” said so. He’d much rather find love on his own.

“Come on, Harry. You’re not even the least bit curious as to who she is?” Harry rolled his and continued to make his breakfast. “Harry?”

Keep reading

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Hello! I hope you're having a wonderful day! I wanted to ask you if you could recommend some super fluffy fics. BTW I really appreciate you! Thank you so much!

SOMETIMES WE ALL JUST NEED SOME FLUFF, so I’m going to try to make this list extra lovely (and long!) ^-^ 💜💜💜

Fluffy Drarry Recs

Talk to Me by Saras_Girl (15.5K)- When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story.Harry is cursed temporarily blind and deaf while alone outside, and is helped by a gentle stranger (*cough* Draco). SO SWEET. Part of her fluffy!verse (collection of one-shots), and anyone after fluff should really read them all <3

Yours Until Midnight by drarryisgreen (4.5K)- Harry sits at a cafe owned by Draco day after day and wonders why Draco likes to bother him. / Lots of rain, lots of tea(s), lots of fluff.Some fics you just adore for no reason you can articulate, and this is one of those for me. Harry is a (secret) fiction writer under the alias January James, and he writes all his stories in Draco’s cafe, while drinking Draco’s tea and pining without even realizing what he wants. Heart-clenchingly sweet!

Then Comes A Mist and A Weeping Rain by faithwood (21K)- It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that’s ever so cross.This fic has the most kudos of any Drarry fic on AO3, so everyone and their grandmother has probably read it, but READ IT AGAIN because there is a cloud that follows Draco around raining on the poor boy EXCEPT WHEN HARRY’S BEING NICE TO HIM <333

Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ (6K)- Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating. And then Potter asks me, in a growl that makes my cock throw a wet tantrum in my pants, how many more dates I would deem mandatory before I let him fuck me. I drag Potter to bed.This fic is fucking hilarious. Quite possibly my favorite humor/fluff/smut combination ever. They both work at the Ministry, and Draco is lured to Potter by the rumors of his amazing cock and they’re so cute and it’s just pure brilliance.

Good to me (And I’d Be So Good to You) by AWickedMemory (9K)- Everyone returns to Hogwarts after the war, but nothing is quite the same. Harry’s groupies are creepier than ever, Ron and Hermione are snogging all over the place, and the once-proud Draco is shuffling around like a kicked puppy. But that’s okay: Harry’s got a plan.Harry implements Operation Make Friends With Draco Malfoy, and Draco is very confused. Also featuring “Harry’s Draco Lucius Abraxas Malfoy Repository of Information Collected Whilst Stalking (DLAMRoICWS)” hehehe <3

The Wolf Pack by dracogotgame (13.5)- Nobody said achieving your animagus form was easy. Draco could handle being a wolf pup for a while, right? How bad could it be?Oh my GOD Draco’s animagus form is a wolf PUPPY and he meets another wolf in the forest and bothers him all the time and then he adopts this wolf as his protector. And the wolf is annoyed but reluctantly amused and endeared and I WONDER WHO THAT WOLF IS HM WHO COULD IT BE????

Mingling, Mistletoe & Misdeeds by @jadepresley​ (10K)- Three couples in denial. One Christmas party to make them finally see sense. Christmas fluff!This fic is adorable! It also features Ron x Pansy and Hermione x Theo, and I fell in love with those other two pairings in this fic as much as Drarry! Christmassy and LOVELY. And Draco planned the party, so you know it’s a good one ;)

Candy by @bixgirl1​ (5.5K)- It was only after careful consideration that Draco came to the wildly preposterous conclusion that he and Potter were actually friends. Sweet fic. May cause cavities.Harry wants to be friends with Draco, but Draco refuses. And keeps refusing. Until somehow they’re suddenly friends, and then they’re more then friends, and Draco has no idea how any of it happened! Oblivious!Draco is my favorite Draco and yes I think I may have indeed gotten a cavity from how sweet this fic was ;)

To Love a Loathed (Arch) Enemy by Sophie_French (11.5K)- “For the last time, Malfoy, I have absolutely no hidden agenda giving you your wand back.”Harry brings Draco his wand back after the war and the rest is history.After Harry returns Draco’s wand, they start sending (FLIRTY OMG) owls back and forth, and then Draco helps Harry with the Hogwarts Restoration and it’s all just adorable :)

Harry Potter and the Incredibly Organized Personal Assistant by megyal (2.5K)- Harry Potter’s new assistant is snarkily organized.Not gonna lie, I have a huge thing for Draco being Harry’s Personal Assistant and basically just running his life. This short little fic is so lovely and funny!

Get Me From My Good Side by @julietsemophase​ (5.5K)- The only reason Harry agrees to these Ministry publicity articles is he knows he’s in safe hands with Draco Malfoy as his stylist. But then a shoot doesn’t quite go to plan and Harry worries his secret is out.Personal stylist is another job I just LOVE for Draco. This fic is perfect perfect perfect because Draco is the only one Harry trusts to style him. And of course that’s not because he’s secretly in love with him, what are you talking about?!

To Bag A Hero by moonshoespotterr (7.5K)- When Draco realises that insults are getting him nowhere, he decides to take a new approach to bagging the Boy Who Lived.Draco starts being nice to Harry and gives him his scarf and YEP this is pure fluff

Tug-O-Want by dysonrules (16.5K)- Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again.Aaaah amazingness! Accidental bonding! Being repeatedly drawn to each other from opposite sides of the castle! Neither of their faults but they blame each other anyway! Giving in to their desires more and more each time! Y E S

One More Cup of Coffee by Lonov (10.5K)- Harry thought the best part about being a Healer would be saving lives every day without the constant fear of being murdered by a megalomaniac, but when Draco Malfoy walked into the room, he realized he hadn’t escaped so easily.Both are healers, Harry is miffed that Draco has a more senior position than he does, Draco brings Harry coffee every day, and I could choke on the sweetness

Check Me Out by lumosed_quill (3K)- Draco works as a librarian. Harry visits often and attempts (possibly) to flirt with Draco through his choice of books. Draco is not getting it. At all.YES this fic is exactly as adorable as the summary makes it sound :D

Storm in a Teacup by faithwood (8K)- For reasons he’d rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potter’s hair. This cannot end well.FLUFF FLUFF HARRY’S HAIR IS FLUFFY LIKE THIS FIC. They study together in a hidden alcove <3

Hey, Potter by SunseticMonster (16K)- Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.GAH Harry starts complimenting Draco whenever Draco insults him and Draco gets all flustered and baffled and it’s adorable as FUCK.

9 times Harry kissed Draco, and the 1 time Draco kissed Harry by LockWhoSuper (4.5K)- ‘Harry grinned, Draco fell into his trap perfectly. Surging forwards, Harry wrapped his fingers around Draco’s tie and pulled him forwards until their lips met over their cauldron. The pressure lasted for three seconds, Harry’s eyes shut and Draco’s wide in surprise. When Harry let Draco go, he slid back into his seat slowly, eyes still wide, tie crooked and a blush painting his cheeks.’Every time Draco swears, Harry kisses him. That’ll make him stop. Yep. Perfect plan. Nothing at all to do with Harry wanting to kiss Draco. Nothing whatsoever.

What Potter Wants by birdsofshore (3.5K)- Harry definitely didn’t want to do that to Malfoy. Not at all. So why did Malfoy keep saying that he did?This fic is hilarious and perfect and I think about it all the time because the idea is just that brilliant. Draco insists over and over that Potter is dying to suck his cock. Harry denies it and denies it, but….for someone who doesn’t want to suck Malfoy’s cock, he sure is protesting a lot. Fluffy Smutty Humor ;)

All You Want for Christmas is Me by chibaken (7.5K)- Harry Potter is rich enough to buy himself anything he wants, and so famous that he receives daily gifts from his fans. Whatever is a Secret Santa to do? Draco doesn’t know yet, but he’s going to figure it out.YEAH I’M RECCING MYSELF SUE ME (please don’t). Christmas party games, Draco in denial, presents, and pooooooorn with a ribbon

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RANDOM //

Outlines by @uahi

Más aquí / More here

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Why

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2r4HTyc

by Mooseknucklesss

This is a fluff i wrote based on the one word prompt: Why. Hope you enjoy <3

Words: 1252, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Gregory Goyle

Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley

Additional Tags: Fluff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, POV Hermione Granger, Friendship/Love, Harry deserves all the good things

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2r4HTyc