kuriskandi

[kuriskandi]

WHY IS MY MOM SO RETARDED.

[kuriskandi]

being mentally ill + suicidal at a young age (before 18) is. strange, because you grow up with this idea that one day you’ll finally snap, turn off, be brave enough to kill yourself, so you don’t really plan for the future. adulthood- further life, it isn’t for you, nor do you feel included within the future of it. it isn’t.. it isn’t part of your life plan.

and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that you’re still alive you guess but also. you feel so alone + lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of.

[kuriskandi]

Im so fucking depressed

I keep telling myself it will pass and holding on to the hopes of the weekend. This is the longest I've ever been willingly sober my whole life. My son is worth it. Ive been such a different person since I found out I was pregnant. And for the longest time I was so happy about it but now here I am 9 months postpartum and I feel like I'm breaking down I feel like I'm falling apart. I used to be this outgoing adventurous funny happy girl. I used to constantly be meeting people and going to events. Now I do the same exact thing every single day. I work my ass off I watch my kid I clean when I can I Drive me and my boyfriend around. After I pick him up from work I literally have no energy left and my body I feel stressed and warped and cornered. I feel like he doesn't understand me. I feel like no one understands me. I've cried more in the past few months then I have since I lost jack. I feel like I've become my father who I hated my entire child and teenage years. So angry and resistant to understanding. Full of malice and resentment. I treat my boyfriend the same way he treated me when I was a child. I need to get out of this whatever is going on with me. I feel like all I want to do is get wasted but I've come to the conclusion even if I fall victim to the clutches of alcohol I don't enjoy the way it makes me feel anymore. I would never abandon my son and I couldnt imagine spending any less time with him but goddamn do the thoughts of just running the fuck away constantly flood my mind.

[kuriskandi]

🎥 by @abominablekushman There’s just something spectacular about smoking #kief @abominablekushman #weedporndaily #stayregular #superstoners by @therealwpd

[kuriskandi]

[kuriskandi]

The important thing was to love rather than to be loved.

W. Somerset Maugham (via whatcameafter-you)

[kuriskandi]

Making me jealous will only push me away from you. It wont make me want you more. I’m not very competitive, If i see someone who’s making you a lot happier than I am, I’ll back up because I’ll assume you want that person a lot more. Although it’ll hurt seeing someone other than me make you happy, I’ll leave it to them to keep you entertained. I don’t like the feeling of being unwanted or being just second best. I’m a very jealous person and i hate it.

(via superbeethoughts)

[kuriskandi]

I will only let you touch me if your hands are so full of intention that every brush of your palms feels like you writing a novel on my skin.

Azra.T( via sillxgx)

[kuriskandi]

[kuriskandi]

[kuriskandi]

Please share this and stop the hate!

[kuriskandi]

I Am

I am a soldier of the world choosing no sides I lay no blame carrying nothing but this smile  armed with peace I take my aim  I am a child of the universe far brighter than any star or sun  I share a sacred bond with you for we are not two we are one I am a friend to all who suffer sight for those lost in blindness even if they burn with hatred    my only action will be kindness I am a student of great truths will walk with love arm in arm helping any who welcome her    to all others I will do no harm 

[kuriskandi]

I can be so unsure of myself

When did I become so damaged

[kuriskandi]

[kuriskandi]

[kuriskandi]

Yesh

[kuriskandi]