kurov1864

[kurov1864]

But the Zayne wishes was a jumpscare lmao for a moment I thought he rlly knew I kept playing until like 5am

[kurov1864]

it's my bday and I think this is the first time I've cried happy tears instead of sad tears.

And it's because Rafayel wished me a happy bday when I loaded up LADS to do my daily quality time at midnight.

Because tell me why their wishes made me cry. Literally like the sweetest fucking things I've ever heard in my life.

[kurov1864]

Milgram alignment chart

How it feels like:

How it actually is:

[kurov1864]

Milgram idol au (pt.11)

010 Kotoko:

YAYYAYYAY MY WIFE (I literally created this whole idol au for her <3)

Would 100% be the cold, mysterious and straightforward type. Like everything from her condescending eyes, to her closed off stance, everything about her screams "I hate you but I'm forced to perform so her you go."

Her casual outfits leans more towards "active" styles, so think like a mix of light and breathable jackets, gym shorts, sports bras and running shoes.

Official appearances would show a different side depending on the type. For things like podcasts, shows where people just sit and chat, she'll be dressed like that one girlboss CEO who was originally the villainess of the kdrama MC but then becomes an ally that not only supports MC but helps her see the full picture.

Honestly I don't think punk or girl crush would be too far-reaching as well. Because unlike the traditional ice-cold type, she actually has a lot of passion in her.

Also not present on social media, like at all. Fans are pretty sure more then half of her reposts and tweets are actually made by management rather then her. If she DOES tweet, it'll be very short and curt.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't use social media. Of course she does. Despite how she looks and acts, she actually cares a lot about her image. Less of her fans since those can turn easily, but she takes notes of y'all's loyal fan accounts (yes she is a stalker like Fuuta)

Probably had a dating rumor with Mikoto once, but that completely died out after it was addressed on stream.

Chat: are you really dating Mikoto?

Kotoko, looking at the camera dead in the eye: I would rather bite off my tongue and bleed a slow death.

That stream was never publicly addressed, but many say that Es gave her a good scolding to watch her tongue in public.

Obviously infuriates Mikoto fans, (and also infuriates other fans) on a daily basis. I don't think she'll be liked that much outside of her fanbase, because she seems very rude and condenscending.

Has compilations on Youtube of her smiling because it's just that rare to catch her smiling on camera

She would absolutely SLAY at physical/survival game shows, only person that can actually compete with her in terms of physicalneth is Kazui, and even then she comes out on top when it comes to survival shows (why does she know so much about random stuff??)

While she never graduated from law school, she's pretty educated on it. Constantly brings it up during arguments, she memories sections and recites them like the bible.

Everybody has their own way of stopping Kotoko from going on a law lecture midway through their disagreements. Fuuta and Mikoto annoys the shit out of her until she walks away. Mahiru doesnt even acknowledge it and goes on with her points. Muu shuts off her ears and pouts. Haruka doesn't get into arguments with her because she's scary.

And Es who somehow knows the laws as well gets into a 2 hour debate using other relevant laws to disprove her, only to finally get into a discussion about the flaws of the justice system with her

Even though her whole image is being unapproachable, I do genuinely believe that she would put in effort to being a little nicer to her fans during a fan meet-up or fansign.

Especially towards the younger portion of her fans, she would noticeably try to mince her words and hold her sharp tongue around them, as well as appear a little more open and friendly

(she had to get training to appear friendly she made a young girl cry at her first fansign)

The way she joined was through being scouted (because there is no way in hell that she would willingly join an idol agency)

I would think at first since it was a new agency + didn't really require much of her, she would think of it as a part time job. But then predebut came around and then they debuted and I think it'll be like on some random day during dance practice when it fully sunk in like "oh shit. oh shit I'm actually an idol THIS IS MY JOB".

That's probably when she started putting in more effort.

[kurov1864]

How to live survive act in the demon world (to bring about the least pain possible)

PART 3

New day, new essay due tmr, and more procrastination.

Pls read part 1 and part 2 for more context!! Will not be repeating points from those.

Randomly appeared in the demon world:

This would probably be my shortest guide because I only have 2 words for you: you're fucked.

Unlike when you were taken in the place of Iruma/brought along with him, you have like a close to zero survival rate lmfao. I'm not even gonna bother with scenarios like you're in the middle of a forest or some rugged terrain because in there you're just screwed.

BUT if you appear in town... maybe you have a small percentage of survival. Maybe. Depends on how you play it. Unlike in the previous two parts we are going to go for best possible scenario, because the worst possible case is you are immediately torn to shreds by hungry demons who want your healing blood.

So here's your to do list:

get some kind of disguise to at least make you look like a demon

avoid everybody (so you don't get picked on)

go to border control and report your humaness to a hopefully uncorrupt demon not under that spiky haired emo boy's control

go home

That's about it. The best thing you could do in this scenario is turn yourself in to border patrol and they would (hopefully) send you back after wiping your memories. Don't even think about trying to survive here yourself. Even if you get taken in by a normal demon family, I don't think they would have the means to hide your humaness and fragility. Most of the information we know is regarding Babyls and the higher-ups, which means that it'll be kinda useless in your day-to-day life where you don't interact with them.

You want to enroll into Babyls? Sure! Just get extremely good grades on an unfamiliar syllabus and show some of your bloodline magic- oh wait you don't have any. Yeah. Just go back to the human world.

And if border patrol decides to just kill you... well it was nice knowing you I suppose.

[kurov1864]

still need to finish my requests and the milgram idol series fjhfjdkghkjdfgh I actually wrote Kotoko's part a long time ago (the whole series literally started with her) but it needs to be polished,,, and the amount I wrote for Es isn't enough so I need to add more :/

[kurov1864]

honestly writing the how to act in the demon world is the most fun I've had in a while writing. Writing hcs can be really taxing, especially when I don't know what to write about, so it feels like I'm forcing myself to write uncreative pieces of information instead of bringing the character to life. I think I just really like making plans in general.

[kurov1864]

How to live survive act in the demon world (to bring about the least pain possible)

PART 2

Am I doing this at 1:50am the morning I have my national exams? Yes. Is anybody going to stop me? No.

BTW READ PART 1 FOR CONTEXT!! I will not be repeating points from part 1!! (That doesn't mean all points stay exactly the same - please refit them according to the new context)

Quick note in advance - I've decided that the first 3 parts which covers the 3 different starting points I've thought of will just be some quick points summarized. I might extend this into an entire point-by-point guide, or just make it to a self-insert fic.

Brought along with Iruma:

This scenario is quite literally impossible, but it's still fun to think about. Here we will assume that you are either the biological/adopted sibling of Iruma, or your guardians are Iruma's parents.

Now if you've read part 1, you would've seen how I said that was the best possible scenario. Well, I lied. This seems much better.

We all know that Iruma is undoubtably going to shine, because he's the protagonist. Intentionally or not, he will overshadow you. And that's a good thing. Because of him, you'll become more of the "forgotten child", at least to the rest of the demon world. Best case scenario, people forget about you and leave you alone. All the pressure, expectations and attention gets focused on Iruma, leaving you to do whatever the hell you want. Worst case scenario, demons start underestimating you and thinking you're weak. The type of reputation you should aim for here is either "weak but beloved sibling of Iruma and grandchild of Suvi" or "weaker than Iruma but still far above normal demons to the point that we can't fight them and win". Pick whichever reputation is easier for you to build and maintain.

For the kind of skills you should pick up, knowledge on types of plants, animals and demons is essential. I know it sounds boring, but this may be your saving grace during the harvest festival and literally every interaction with other demons. Magic that you can use without having mana would be preferable as well, though we don't know if it exists. If so, you might want to get a mana-storing device, like Iruma's gluttony ring. If absolutely necessary, you can claim to be mana-less, but highly discouraged. We don't want you to be treated like a pushover (like Kirio) or turned into a medical case (where you'll be discovered as human). Besides that, the ability to act as a lovable child (BECAUSE WE NEED SUVI'S SUPPORT). I wouldn't place as much emphasis on social skills in general, since we don't know just how much it takes to have demons become "loyal" to you. But if you're confident in that area, having allies would be a huge help.

For your familiar, it's best that you have Kalego as well. But since we're not exactly sure if sharing familiars is possible, it's best for you to try getting into another's teachers class and make them your familiar instead. I would recommend Ipos or Suzy, since they seem to be the most level-headed and have the capability to attack, defend and escape. Even Murmur is okay, but try to avoid Raim, Dali and Blushenko. Raim and Dali are too perceptive for their own good, and while Blushenko's healing ability is nice, we're not sure if it works on humans. Orias and March is generally discouraged as well, since if Orias gets suspicious of you his ability would help him out a ton in discovering your true identity, and March can literally see if you have no wings. Now, I want to stress again that we do not want to have no familiar, because then you'll have to stay back and retake the test later in the year (according to the spinoff). This would label you as weak and incompetent, which unless that's what you're aiming for, you want to avoid that being your first impression.

Reiterating my point from part 1, contact with Balam is essential, since he won't rat you out + has a lot of medical knowledge that can assist you. Just be wary since he's close to Kalego, try to make sure that he doesn't slip before Kalego finds out Iruma's true identity himself.

Don't attend history class when Balam took over. He might find out you don't have wings rather than Iruma, and you don't have Alikred to assist you.

Now for the relationships you want to build - definitely become part of the abnormal class. You'll be placed in it because of Suvi, but you want to be like "spiritually" part of it as well. So please, no matter how much social anxiety, crippling self-depression and low self-esteem you have, please god make an effort to at least talk to them? Pick which "friend group" in the abnormal class you want to become a part of, depending on your personality. I would say try paying more attention to Jazz, because you might want to avoid his snake hands. In the manga/anime Jazz never found out about Iruma's secret, but we don't want to take any chances on what his bloodline ability can see. BUT, if you can appeal to his big brother instincts (after like the walter park arc), he would be quite the useful ally. Gaap and Agares if you are able to find a balance of personalities between them, and you Elizabetta and Kerori are also good targets. For Purson... if you truly care or at least can act like you care. That might lead to you needing to get involved during the music festival arc, but if you have the skills to convince him that you truly care, that arc shouldn't pose much of a problem for you.

For relationships you want to avoid though - definitely Ami Kirio. Don't try to interfere with Iruma joining Ami's club, because that'll change the timeline too much + doom the school during the first battler party arc. We just want to avoid Ami getting addicted to you too, that's all. And like I mentioned before, you'll want to avoid March + everyone of his bloodline because they'll be able to see that you have no wings. Don't make it obvious though, just don't actively seek him out. Other demons to avoid would just be evil/attention-grabbing/not good to get attention from due to their abilities ones, like Lomiere, Zeze, Hon, Eiko, Walb, Furfur (I REPEAT, FURFUR), any of the 13 crowns besides Bachiko and Amuryllis, any of the six fingers and affiliated members, and any of the Zepar clan. Adjust these as you see fit.

Final note before I go to sleep: these are (mostly) for a worst case scenario, and only based on what we currently see. Do not take these assumptions as the absolute truth, do your own research on the demon world when you arrive. And best of luck.

[kurov1864]

How to live survive act in the demon world (to bring about the least pain possible)

PART 1

Okay so I've been thinking (and making plans) for like what happens if I get transported into WTDSIK world, all in of course different contexts. I'll split this into 3 different parts for the 3 different contexts I've thought of. Also, I'll update this after my finals and I have time to comb through the entire series again (if I remember).

Taking the place of Iruma:

Congrats? This might be the best possible outcome, since you won't die immediately. Of course, you'll have to be able to cope with the attention from Sullivan, Opera, the Babyls staff and like the rest of the demon world due to your status as the only grandchild of Sullivan.

Here are some of the challenges you may face along the way: Opera. Now, in the manga, Opera is a competent supporter that's like family to Iruma. However, that absolutely will not apply to you (unless you're like Iruma, which I highly doubt, because you are reading this). My best advice if you're a normal unassuming person with crippling depression and low self-esteem is to simply stay out of the way. Don't be a nuisance to them, but mostly make sure you show that you are worth something irreplaceable to Sullivan. Opera does the best possible thing for their master, so make sure that you are known as something they cannot get rid of/pose a threat to Sullivan.

Next challenge is the demon world itself. You don't have the same dodging abilities as Iruma, which means that you are cooked. Metaphorically and literally. Study up on plants and biology for a bit, and get something that is easily accessible at any time (even if your limbs are tied up). And make sure that that thing can kill you as fast as possible, with as little pain as possible. You're not sure if it can kill you? Experiment with weaker plants and poisons. BUT DO YOUR RESEARCH CORRECTLY. We don't want to accidentally die.

Adding on to the previous point, it's gonna be very important for you to see just where you stand as a human in a demon world. While Iruma seemed fine, it's also important to note this guy has been living in the streets and eating very suspicious food. His immune system is off the charts as well. So vet everything and anything that you touch until you're sure it won't kill/poison/harm you.

Next challenge would be Asmodeus. After the assembly, immediately head to the chairman's office. And like beg him for some sort of protection device, because your ass is gonna need it. Asmodeus would absolutely not let it go, and we're not sure if he's gonna try to attack you the next day. Either make up with him, beat him, or avoid the absolute shit out of him.

Remember to get a levitation device of sorts for your flying test!! Or tell your teachers (after discussing it with Suvi and Opera) that you're a flightless demon, idk.

Bond with Clara. She's relatively easy to get on our side, just play with her and treat her like an actual human being and not a convenience machine. However, she's also quite smart emotionally, so if you think she's going to become a hindrance to future plans then don't.

Contact Balam and tell him you're human. That'll get his protection, plus you have a more experienced demon to help you cope.

Be late to class on the first day. This would absolutely make Kalego hate you, but it's better than being skewered to death. You can come early I suppose, but they may try to force you to participate.

Kalego must become your familiar. Don't try to help him get out from the other side, but also don't make it too obvious you know what's going on. He's perceptive.

Pray and hope you get the ring of gluttony, because if you don't you'll have to ask Suvi for a mana-storing one so you don't fail your classes.

If possible, get Ameri on your side. But we don't know if your character would fit well with her, so at least start the manga-reading arrangement so that she doesn't tattle to her dad.

That's all for now, I'll try to update this where I comb through all compulsory events one by one, as well as who to to get on your side and who not to piss off.

[kurov1864]

Milgram idol au (pt.10)

009 Mikoto:

Mikoto's image was supposed to be like this cool, cold, casually affectionate and charismatic big brother. Sorta like the troubled artist type, the mysterious cute guy with earpieces on that you see everyday, that kind. But please, note the keyword, "was". You wanna guess what ruined it? That's right, it's everyone's favorite boy, Mikoto.

During debut he did try to act like that, I'll give him credit. Then as he got more and more comfortable on camera, his inner clown really started to show. So now people know him as the silly, goofy approachable childhood friend type, and Es sorta gave up on trying to force the other to act accordingly.

Still though, Mikoto sometimes reverts back to his debut era personality, which fans lovingly dub "John". At this point, they might as well be two separate idols given how widespread this idea is among the Milgram fanbase. Another popular concept is simply that of gap-moe.

One of the more fashionable male idols; sometimes the designers even allow him to pick out his own outfits. He read a lot of fashion magazines when he was in high school, trying to do the whole "glow up era" thing.

Following up on that point, he gets along well with Mahiru for that reason. Both of them are really interested in fashion and the general trends of society, and fans do appreciate when they can talk about their nails with him (aha projecting I wanna talk about my nails)

Uhh I lost track of the roles I gave out so he can be dancer + vocalist at the same time. Don't ask me why, I am NAWT going to research more dance/singing terms.

Used to have self-esteem issues starting out, which was why he originally stuck with the "John" personality in the beginning despite knowing he was nothing like him. It's simply easier acting cold and serious when he's on stage and doesn't need to say anything.

Ngl I can see him being very touchy/affectionate with other members, even with the hard-to-approach types like Kotoko and Amane. Whether it be an arm slung around their shoulders, linking hands to pull them towards something, a pat on their shoulder or even just pressing against them when sitting together, Mikoto is very physically affectionate. The other members reactions can vary, from annoyed, to indifferent, to delighted.

Posts a lot of random things. Sometimes they don't even make sense. It can be an aesthetic looking cake one day, then a chaotic and blurry photo of the other idols the next, then suddenly there would be a picture of a flattened grape against the concrete with no caption.

Would be one of the more active members on their social media account, posting at least 4 pictures and like 100 tweets everyday. Tweets, like photos, can range from supportive messages to fans, whiny complaints about his knees aching like an old man, and then "aaAaAaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaooOOooeeEeEeEeea" followed by dropping off the face of the Earth for the next 8 hours. Then he acts as if that never happened.

Loves to receive gifts at fansigns, like the little cute headbands or sunglasses. He always tries on every single one, literally will fight management to keep it until someone intervenes and reasons with him (It's Es. It's always Es. They are tired of his bs)

Poor boy can't lie for his life. It was so hard media training him, because he always does this thing where he shifts his eyes and scrunches his brows a little bit + lets out a nervous laugh.

[kurov1864]

Honestly I think we should really stop shaming/making fun of vents. I don't know how some of yall can react to a vent saying shit like "womp womp", or "I'm 14 and this is deep" or "emo ahh" like stfu. Literally why does it matter so much that some people expresses themselves differently. You might find it cringe that some people use like gen alpha slang or talk like a super villain, but at the end of the day it's hurting no one and a vent is still a vent no matter how goofy or pick me you think it sounds.

Another thing I noticed is how people absolutely love to tell others whether their vent is considered a vent or not. Nobody cares if they aren't suicidal, aren't feeling sad and depressed or talking as if they don't really care. Others have no right to tell others whether their vent is considered a vent, especially if it's because they don't relate and/or don't understand it.

Sorry just wanted to write about it for a little since some people keep saying my vents aren't vents on discord. I use a lot of metaphors for my emotions and thoughts and sometimes it gets really complicated to follow because I keep switching, but that's the way I feel the most comfortable expressing myself. Not my problem that they can't understand it, but it's not their place to tell me to delete the message.

[kurov1864]

Holy shit I totally forgot to finish the Milgram idol series

[kurov1864]

what is up with the Tumblr algorithm I have not posted, liked, or even shown any signs of life and yet somehow people keep finding my posts?? Is this a sign I'm too used to Instagram's brutal algorithm...

[kurov1864]

I WANT TO WRITE HOW MILGRAM CHARACTERS CUDDLE AND HOW THEY REACT TO READER BEING ON THEIR PERIOD BECAUSE I NEED COMFORT SO BAD RN BUT OHMYGOD I HAVE A 30 PAGE METACOGNITION SHEET TO FILL OUT HAHAHAHA

I am like so fucking done with my history teacher <3

[kurov1864]

Another night, another thought. The topic of today is,,, smoking~

*jazz hands*

So. Smoking. Let's be so fucking fr smoking is harmful towards our health. We're not gonna get into the whole vaping type shit because you wanna breathe in fruity air and whatnot. I come from a family where smoking is absolutely banned. Same with drugs and alcohol. Which is ironic since my mother drinks alcohol like 5 times a week.

But despite knowing that smoking is very harmful towards me, I want to do it so badly. Maybe it's because of the fics I read, or maybe it's the anime I watch. Where smoking was sorta portrayed as this cool, bad-girl type shit where it's therapeutic and you have deep conversations under the stars.

Maybe that's part of it. Maybe I want to feel my lungs burn.

I know part of it is the withdrawal stage. I'm not sure if I've told you guys this, but one of my goals is to go insane. I'm not like super dedicated to it, but I do have a genuine burning curiosity as to how it would feel to go insane.

Same with the withdrawal stage. Like, pardon me if it seems like I'm romanticizing it, but I really wanna go through withdrawal. The craving. The shaking. The stomach pains and the itch in my lungs to just fucking take the cig and light it.

Oh and don't forget after I finally give into temptation. The absolute relief followed by the soul-crushing guilt and disappointment.

Ah seriously. That would be bliss.

But I don't think I'll actually start smoking aha. It's too expensive in my country.

[kurov1864]

Okay folks it's time for contemplation of my self-identity!! Wow do I love spilling my guts out to the online world. Currently it's 12:31am, so we'll see how long this takes for me to write finish :D

Today's topic of choice is... gender!! So. I'm female, biologically that is. I've never really felt uncomfortable in my own skin, except for like the usual beauty concerns and whatnot. My dressing style is extremely feminine, I like having a lot of whites, greens and blues in my closet. More of the innocent and calm vibe, basically.

But now, why, why do I wanna be a guy?? Gen I don't have a fucking clue. I've like changed my pronouns to include he/him on some of my other platforms, so anybody can address me as he/him or she/her. But like I've never felt uncomfortable being feminine before?? And I don't have a desire to be seen as a guy either. I'm not sure if it's like all the mangas and manhwas and fics that has officially like ruined my worldview and rational thinking, but it probably has something to do with being a femboy.

Okay hm that just makes it sound like I'm sexualizing them. Let me explain. I want to be a male, like biologically. I don't mind having female parts but I wanna have male parts too, so like intersex? I'm not sure what you call it.

But I wanna be seen as a girl. But I don't want to only have girl parts. I think that's the best way of explaining it tbh.

I've come up with a number of theories as to why I think that way.

1 - I actually have been internalizing all the times I've read bl and now it has affected me mentally.

2 - This has nothing to do with the bl and I'm just born like that

3 - I like surprising people.

4 - I gen have no fucking clue.

So yay that's my daily reflection for today!! I'll try reflecting on my trauma tmr :3

Also it's only 12:39am now wow I wrote this quick

[kurov1864]

Scents of Babyls teachers + Opera (pt.3)

March: Faint whiff of blood, leather and smoke, earthy undertones, cumin and cloves. He would definitely have that metallic tang to his scent, from both his metal tools and... blood. Leather and smoke to sorta hint at that darker enthusiasm for the torture arts, since those are commonly associated with violence. The earthy notes is to reflect his (mostly) grounding and comforting aspect of his personality, with the spices emphasizing it more so. I contemplated putting in more flowery/lighter scents but in all honesty despite being easygoing and kind, I feel like his overall personality just doesn't fit it. He's more laid-back in the rational and grounded way, sorta like a big brother that cares for you and will (gently) call you out when you're pulling shit, rather than the happy cheerful laid-back kinda way yk? Ah but can't forget some caramel and butterscotch candy for his top notes, just to really show his sweeter side.

Ifrit: charred wood, coconut lotion, cigarette smoke and gunpowder. Similar to March, I decided to go for a more grounded scent but foregoed the more comforting aspects. Charred wood and cigarette smoke is pretty self-explanatory, he is a fire demon that loves to smoke after all, and it'll add a rustic and intense quality to his scent. The gunpowder would help to reflect his more competitive side because while he is mostly nonchalant and collected, whenever he gets excited his more brash and boastful traits would come out. Definitely would have some earthy and smoky undertones + metallic accents to have the more grounding yet fleeting aspect? I'm not sure how to describe it but I wanted to go for a sort of reliable warmth which can look flimsy and unpredictable at times but would always be there, just like his flames. It may flicker and almost die out sometimes, but it would always stay lighted up no matter what. The coconut lotion is just there, just because.

Murmur: Freshly baked bread, spicy cologne, sweet citrus and toffee. To me Murmur... leans to the warmer side. He has this sort of friendly and non-judgemental sorta vibe to him, like you can tell him your deepest insecurities and he would never judge or use it against you, just being more mindful of his behaviour and words around you. So of course to me this translates to those homey warm and slightly sweet foods like bread and toffee. Some sweet citrus notes like oranges and mandarin can also add some energy to his scent, to represent his easygoing and familiar attitude. Some spicy cologne just because I think he would, and finally some light woody undertones like sandalwood or cedar for a more grounding and comforting vibe.

Ipos: Pine trees, leather, cayenne pepper, warm amber. Couldn't find a good summary of his personality on the wiki so this would be directly from my viewpoint. Ipos seems like a pretty chill kinda guy, calm and level-headed, as well as knowledgable and experienced. So for these traits, I picked out pine trees, for it's fresh, cold and kinda tingly sharp scent, and leather for the experience. Despite this we also know that he has his own witty sense of humor and mischief, and that's represented by a subtle citrus - probably lemon - to add a touch of lively energy and zest to it. But I also wanted to show off his warmer side, so I also included some cayenne pepper and warm amber. And last but not least, some soft musk and earthy notes to just add some depth to him.

Opera: Sheet softener, cilantro and parsley, soft spices, amber. Sheet softener is a given, since they literally do all the laundry in the mansion. I would think that this also helps depict the way that they try to comfort those they treasure, literally wrapping them up in their blanket, cuddling them and feeding them until they feel better. Wanted to include some mild spice as well, to reflect their sassy and sarcastic attitude. Might have a dash of ginger and cinnamon as well, for their more playful and witty side. And for their base notes, of course we'll go for some soft musk to show their reserved and kuudere personality, as well as the inherent mystery in their character.