kuruna

[kuruna]

rouxls' section in the wikipedia article for deltarune characters is really funny to me

[kuruna]

Elfbar

[kuruna]

My mom wants a white little purse dog, she wants to name jt kevin regardless of it being a girl or boy, and I show her white little bitch dogs a lot as kevin inspo bc I have the selfish motive of wanting a pet while I mooch here at home during quarantine. So I showed her this gif

And she went ‘ouoghh...kevin. I miss him’ and I was gonna point out that she has yet to meet him and she cut me off and was like I see him in my dreams

[kuruna]

[kuruna]

I'm glad I decided to revisit Myra because the more I play around with her the more I realize that she's actually an incredibly tragic character 😭 like I already knew that but it feels more pronounced now...

Like her life objectively just kinda sucks. So much loss, so much being prioritized last, so much being misunderstood. Tbh her being transfem was initially unintentional (when I was drawing her for the first time and she ended up very fem I decided to just lean into it) but I think her being a woman adds another interesting flavour to her character and story. Even before her transition she was put in roles women in stories are often placed in, made to carry a weight that's Too Much, an unseen pillar holding everything else up...

I think it explains her aloofness too... She's suffered so much and now she's trying very hard to protect her own heart, even if her methods don't really "work." She cares a lot but is scared to be open about that fact because of how she's been hurt...

She's kind of dissociated from her own life in a way. No, It's Fine, I Can Handle This. It Hardly Matters To Me kind of thing.

[kuruna]

AZ Pkmn's Sense of Alienation and Just General Disconnect From The People Around Him

Aka from a very long rambly thing I started writing but I'm bored of working on so I'm just posting this part for now. This one is more headcanony.... Please forgive me if I repeat myself a lot. It's just what I do sometimes 🫶🏾

To start with, I think a deeply important thing about AZ’s character is a sense of alienation from others; while of course this may change during Z-A, there is no mention of any significant human relationships AZ may have had at any point in time (his brother could count for this, I suppose, but it's a negative connection).

During XY, he is a cursed wanderer, a god of death dressed in rags. He is immediately visibly different from those around him… he’s tall as hell. But also, his clothes are falling apart, he is homeless, disabled, old… he is someone who exists on the outskirts of society. Someone who has fallen through the “cracks,” who many think is better off being ignored and forgotten. If not for his height (a visible metaphor for his disconnect from humanity) and key, he may have been easy to look upon and pity for a moment, before disregarding. But I don’t get the sense that his alienation is anything new. While it is a line from the manga (and therefore not canon), AZ saying this has always stuck with me:

Nothing has changed in these three thousand years. People lack imagination and this world is full of intolerance. They selfishlessly decide to not understand those who are different from themselves, and attempt to eliminate such people.

Like even if he’s not directly saying it here, he’s without a doubt talking about himself, and describing himself as someone who is “different.” Again, you could ascribe this to his status and height (he is 9’10ft tall), but it doesn’t feel at all as if that’s what he’s referring to. It feels as if it’s a feeling that goes much deeper, that he has experienced for years. That, for one reason or the other, he has felt a constant disconnect to those around him even during his time spent as king. In order to look at this concept a bit more, I want to talk about AZ’s relationships with others in the past; Floette, and his younger brother.

AZ & Floette

So, AZ… the most important thing about him, of course, is his incredibly deep and loving connection with Floette. Floette is his best friend, a childhood companion, and a gift from his mother. It makes sense to interpret Floette as a number of different things. I think of her as both a physical representation of his mother’s love, and as a symbol of AZ’s own humanity. But, it’s known that AZ was very attached to and loved Floette even during a time where Pokemon were only regarded as tools. This itself has some implications; AZ didn’t care about conventions (or that AZ was unable to adhere to conventions), and that he didn’t feel as close to other humans. In a world where he’s very well liked by his peers, it may have been difficult for him to form such an intense bond with Floette. But if she was his only “real” friend, it’s easy to imagine how he would grow to rely on her in the way he does.

This bond is mutual. Floette loves AZ just as much! But after everything with the Ultimate Weapon, she could not bear to be with him anymore. She felt betrayed by his cruelty and selfishness. And when she does finally return, it’s after he’s released his anger. Interestingly, AZ does this by forming a connection to another person. Through a Pokemon battle, AZ learns not only about a trainer’s bond with their Pokemon, but about trainers themselves, and what it means to exist alongside Pokemon in this world where such bonds are cherished.

It’s easy to imagine that, because of AZ’s past reliance on Floette, that Floette dealt with a lot of stress. She loved AZ, their relationship was overall a very positive one, but there is no such thing as a healthy relationship where one person is the only thing keeping the other happy. I have to imagine that Floette felt a lot of stress as AZ’s one tether to his humanity after a certain point; knowing deep down in her heart that if she were to somehow disappear, AZ would go through drastic measures to get her back. I think this made it difficult for Floette herself to connect with others because she was afraid of what AZ may do if she were gone for too long, and she sees that fear proven correct during Kalos’ war.

It’s difficult, but she cannot bear to stand in that role any longer. To have been the only thing keeping him connected to the world, and then to be his motivation for his monstrous actions. It is too much for anyone to have tolerated. And so she left, and only returned when AZ proved his own willingness to form new bonds with other people; he no longer has to rely on Floette as his sole sense of happiness, as his one and only connection to the world. I imagine that after their long time apart, though the love between them is unchanged, Floette gained a new sense of independence, too. So being able to leave for a period of time without worrying about what AZ may do in her absence is good for her as well!

AZ & his brother

Listen. I know my OC isn’t canon. But I’m going to use Xanthos’ name for this section for the sake of simplicity. If Z-A gives an official name for his brother I’ll come back and change it to that.

His younger brother. Little is known about Xanthos in canon. He was Lysandre’s ancestor. He wanted to have Kalos to himself, and waged a war against his own brother. He later came to regret his actions and how they affected his older brother. He buried the ultimate weapon, then died. Nothing to imply the relationship between AZ and himself too deeply, except for this implication that there was a lack of closeness between them, despite the fact they were family and presumably had been raised together.

The question is why? If Lysandre is anything to go off of, Xanthos, in comparison to AZ, was better at adhering to social standards. Even if he may have disliked them or found it stressful deep down, he could manage. And presumably, he did not have this huge heart for Pokemon like AZ did (which is interesting because Floette was AZ’s childhood friend which means more likely than not that all three of them were spending time together, but that’s another topic).

Going off of this, it’s easy to assume that this younger brother would have been a “better pick” for kingship, at least in more social aspects. Though he lacked AZ’s skill with invention, he would have been more socially beloved. Though he has such a small presence in canon, he shows through his actions that a significant amount of people must have thought AZ was an improper king, to be willing to join in on this violence even outside of the desire for wealth and power.

AZ’s kingship and his reputation as Kalos’ ruler

As king, AZ is primarily known for four (technically five) things; his love for Floette, his skill with invention, his generosity, his anger, and later, his key.

There’s a lot of words I like to use to describe how I see AZ as king… kind, but spoiled and angry and selfish, Generous, but unwilling to share more than he saw necessary. Reclusive. Pessimistic. Someone who after a point saw the whole world as being “bad” in the same way he was at the time.

This may be controversial I dunno… but I personally don’t interpret AZ’s generosity as king as genuine; I don’t think it came out of the goodness of his heart. I think he has the capacity for genuine generosity (Hotel Z…), but it wasn’t his motivation at the time. I think he invented because he liked to, and because while he worked, he didn’t have to deal with people. Him managing to form this reputation as a kind and giving is based entirely in his material inventions; I notice that there’s no mention of his actual personality as king, or the ways he personally engaged with people. Only of the things he was able to give, that he did not have to be deeply involved with. I think this is really interesting! The terms used for him are ones that are objectively somewhat generic, too. They could be used to talk about literally anyone. It again emphasizes that lack of closeness.

This is all I wrote for now but I'm 100% planning to revisit this topic and discuss how it ties into him being autistic but that's for another time :~) until then ^.^

[kuruna]

kurotsuguu:

Yoeko Kurahashi - Cabaret

[kuruna]

Drawing Deltarune characters every weekday until I forget or get bored: Day 5, Rouxls!

[kuruna]

Messy sketch but I want to post it before I forget again 😭 my ratatoskr fakemon, Mittoskr :~) the aura trio's messenger squirrel and personal herbalist ....

[kuruna]

Thinking about Xan calling Myra "Mymy" as a nickname 🥹

[kuruna]

It's also sad, though, that she's very obviously still grieving someone that her living siblings never got the chance to meet 🥹

I thought earlier about how Myra looks a lot like her mom (has her dad's nose shape, but her hair colour / texture, droopy eyes, and face shape all come from her mom), and how the name she uses now was originally her mom's, too :~) a lot of love there despite the time and distance between them

[kuruna]

I thought earlier about how Myra looks a lot like her mom (has her dad's nose shape, but her hair colour / texture, droopy eyes, and face shape all come from her mom), and how the name she uses now was originally her mom's, too :~) a lot of love there despite the time and distance between them

[kuruna]

The fundamental reason why Myra and AZ get along so poorly is that they're Really, really similar to one another ^.^ intelligent people who struggle with empathy and selfishness, who are very blunt and honest, who tend to do what they want, when they want to, without caring about anything else in the moment. It's just that AZ is also extremely emotional, and Myra does terribly trying to deal with other's emotions / she's unintentionally insensitive very often

[kuruna]

I call Myra their stepsister for simplicity's sake, but the reality is she's Xan's half-sister ^.^

[kuruna]

reblog game put in the tags how you found prev

[kuruna]

reblog game put in the tags how you found prev