kushtibokt

[kushtibokt]

It has come to my attention that I have a couple half-written/finished replies saved and unpublished in my drafts. So I apologize for the random sudden surge of replies that might get posted across these days, as I re-read them and finish polishing them in tow.

[kushtibokt]

　―Though her grip betrayed none of her feelings on the matter, whether that is hesitation or a further willingness to shoot him, he could tell from her voice and words alone that she was disappointed, perhaps even upset with his portrayed indifference.

　Had he been wrong to assume she wasn't the real deal? That a scheme—from his mind or otherwise— was the truth behind her identity? His countenance softened upon this grieving realization, washing away most of the tension on his shoulders, despite the clear threat that presented the gun in her hands, pointed at him.

　He took a step forward, towards her, listening to her rant now in their language with careful regard, until the barrel touched his shoulder, his hand gently setting against her arm.

　"...Kati." He spoke softly, the quiet almost purposeful, as if he was avoiding stray ears from listening in (and he might as well be doing so, unsure whether his very own home was kept under surveillance, given his criminal background).

　Regardless, he made sure to switch to a language they would not be able to decipher—their language, long lost, preserved only between them. "<If you really are Kati, my sister, then you must know that I haven't changed or forgotten a thing.>"

　With a pause, his gaze turned away towards some point in his living room, almost in shame, though he was unwilling to admit that much. His features remained neutral enough to not give it away, even as he switched back to the main language.

　"I have adapted to my current circumstances, took the chances my luck threw at me in tow. I doubt you would have preferred to see me fall to complacency for the sake of keeping my pride intact, no? A lifetime as a complacent slave was hardly worth that." For his people's pride, no less. Leaving aside the fact that he had tried to help, only to find out they were all gone, there was little reason for him to retain something like his old identity if it would not help him achieve the new goals he'd set for himself to do. Jade herself had helped him bury Kakavasha down, witnessing the last vestiges of his connection to his people suffocate in the golden sands beneath his new, shiny, gilded cage.

　...Yet, his cherished big sister found herself alive, before him, upset with the results of this endeavor. Who would have thought he would find such a towering obstacle, one he was completely unwilling to bring down for his path to continue the way it was fated.

　Falling silent, his gaze turned towards her again, quietly taking on her features once more before he turned his eyes down to the gun in her hands. "I was informed that you all died back there, that I was the only 'lucky dog' to survive." He grimly confessed, taking a deep breath and then releasing it loudly, attempting to ease his growing tension. "I was certain that you... t-that you were gone for good, all this time, after I ran away without looking back. Like you told me to."

( 🪶 )    THE TURTLENECK OF her attire itched at her neck , the temperature in the apartment becoming heated as she continued to interrogate him. her patience is legendary but her disappointment ? well , that's another matter. she's had enough time to gain information on her brother after all through various means .. none of which were very legal.

( WHEN IT COMES to legalities .. you care much less when you've beaten someone to death with your bare hands and a knife in self defense and spite. katitzi would like to believe that surviving two extinction events on her people gave her some leeway on the law. )

THE .. '' IMPERSONATOR '' ( WE'LL go with that for now ) seems highly offended by being named as such ; let alone a ghost of his past. the offence bleeds away into a mixture of disappointment and pain ---- that all her efforts have been for naught so far and .. and that he really didn't understand their language well enough anymore to understand that it was not just her but .. that she requested his attention.

   ❝ OH I'M SORRY .. were you expecting tea ? no , nor am i a ghost or some nightmare that you've seemingly tried to bury so deep. buried so deep that you've forgotten that HER body is all around us. that we are meant to see the world eternally through HER eyes and yet you've done little to even try and retain much of that identity. becoming one of them.  ❞

THE GUN DOES little in terms of moving off from him , the gloved hand masking any sense of what kind of grip its owner possesses ; the fact that this woman is upset with him and disappointed is little consolation.  

TWO GHOSTS NOW are before one another : one who never shed the name that was gifted to her and another that had seemingly become the very beast that had , in their indifference , left her , him and their people to slaughter. no. she will not address him as such.

   ❝ NO. I WILL not refer to you as such. the person is very much alive , but seems to be very lost over his place in the world. i sincerely hope that the name that they've given you is some scheme that you've concealed .. and not laying down belly up to those that < led us into slaughter from their lies and indifference >  ❞   her tone is scathing as she narrows her eye at him , native tongue taking over half - way through as her disappointment got the best of her.

[kushtibokt]

longing was, in the end, inescapable. the vast majority of his days was spent easily fending off the urge to move closer to that vexing gambler, but whenever a seemingly arbitrary set of circumstances was met, he found himself wavering. had they not had more intimate exchanges in the past, then perhaps he would not struggle so to resist his own whims. as it stood, however, he simply wished to quell his own wandering thoughts and to soothe a yearning heart.

his eyes had darted to his hand, and had the gambler not been distracted by some story he was weaving or another, ratio was confident that he would have noticed. it was his luck that he hadn't found him sat behind his desk, for once, but rather re-organising one of the shelves holding a mere fraction of the books in his possession. the stoneheart chattered on and on, features seemingly relaxed, a touch less guarded than they seemed outside that little room, warmer than they were when dealing with anyone else.

eventually, he reached for his hand, silent as he tugged him closer and silent, too, when he cupped his cheek and leaned in to press a kiss to his lips that was, no matter how he might deny it, startlingly innocent, soft and served only to satiate a craving to be closer for a moment.

　It was quite easy to relax whenever he got the time to visit his favorite scholar―any anxiety or stress he carried along the workday dissolved within the joy of his company, and his thoughts unraveled with ease as he got too lost on his chattering, even when the topic was as mundane as a retelling of his morning routine in the office or what his little critters have been up to during the weekend.

　He hadn't caught on the subtle looks, neither on the intent behind them, for he was distracted in this bubble of happy ramble and the comfortable companionship he found himself submerged into when around the man.

　Only when his hand was touched did his talk abruptly pause, and as his gaze shifted in curiosity towards the doctor, he was gently pulled closer, breath stolen in a kiss that was much too gentle, imbued with that innocent affection so befitting of his doctor dearest. The brief tension of being caught off guard loosened as warmth seeped into his body, and his lips reciprocated with a mirrored gentleness, a honesty he would seldom offer any other time, even to him, in lieu of his resounding insecurities.

　It made his pulse race, loud in his ears as if warning him to not get too lost in this mirage—but he brushed it off to indulge instead, with his palms finding purchase against his shoulders and his body leaning against the firm warmth before it.

　Moments like these were where he found an excuse to allow himself to selfishly take, to satiate his very own yearning and reach towards a heart too delicate and too precious for a person like him to truly deserve. Not like that would stop him from pretending it was undoubtedly his, that he could place it in the empty space between his ribs left by his absent heart, and believe that he could keep it safe and loved there, impervious to whatever harm his Mother Goddess planned to dish out.

　His eyes blinked open when they separated from the gesture to breath, kaleidoscope gaze scanning over his eyes, his features, down to his lips, undoubtedly dissatisfied yet. You wouldn't mind me if I stole another one, yes? He had been tempted to ask, but nothing came out of him as his hands rose to cup the scholar's face and bring him down to him again instead, stealing another kiss indeed, yet keeping it just as chaste as if it had been a promise between them to simply share an intimate moment of gentle affection.

[kushtibokt]

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[kushtibokt]

muses who by all means are traumatised and scarred and hurt by what they went through, maybe for months or years, but who are still them. muses you can’t take the Them out of. muse A is muse A even beaten, even bruised. muse A will meet your eye and still be there and if you want to pretend they aren’t real, aren’t there, aren’t themselves all-the-way-through then that is your loss. but muse A is muse A. all the way down.

[kushtibokt]

　...There is something decidedly off about the way the other man seemed to carry himself today. Not for a lack of confidence, which he thought the doctor had plenty, but said confidence wasn't nearly as exuberant in personality, nor arrogant enough to invade his space and take his chair the way he was doing just now, speaking to him with a strange charisma and watching him with the fondness someone would have for their favorite piece of entertainment.

　(And since when was he entertained, as opposed to annoyed, about the shenanigans he often dragged with him? It was a little bizarre to hear him praising rather than chastising, in all honesty...)

　In lieu of his confusion, he had missed the way his featured felt warmer than usual—worsened only with the motion the other made in offer, encouraging him to take a seat on his lap like it was the most normal course of action between them two; it was outrageously out of chatacter, let alone a little humiliating with the authoritative tone Ratio's personality had taken.

　His gaze narrowed lightly as he observed the man pat on his lap, and coming to the conclusion that although it was quite tempting to follow through with whatever game the doctor was playing, his own reluctance to be ordered around rejected the notion of humiliating himself, regardless of how attractive the offer (and frankly, the man too) was. Naturally, refusing the offer was next in the order of action, right before questioning his strange behavior.

　"...Mm, alright, doc." ...What? Oh, he realized with a blink that his body was moving there on its own volition, decidedly refusing to find the strangeness of the situation a deterrent for his attraction. His face was most certainly flushed red by now, embarrassed over his compliance as he seated himself on the other's thighs and kept himself upright, disgustingly obedient.

　"...Glad to know you enjoy the way I work, dear doctor." He chuckles, and it's a jarring act of pretending like he wasn't burning up in shame over sitting on Ratio's lap, of all people. "Say, what brings your grand self to me this fine evening? Got any plans for me?"

Sus. Sunday (Malicious Monday) @kushtibokt

"There you are, Gambler." The voice is oddly charming, carrying a teasing lilt rather than it's usual sharpness. Ratio saunters closer, invading the blond man's space as if it were his right to be there, looking over his face as if it were an art piece he was fond of. A pleased hum leaves him then he makes his way to a rather comfortable looking chair, no doubt Aventurine's, and seating himself upon it.

"Tell me, what in the world are you up to this time? I do always look forward to your little schemes." A notice, then, that he had left the man standing instead of inviting him to sit. "I praise you for remaining standing, but you are more than welcome to take a seat." His hand lifts, then pats at his lap. "Come." One would think he were a King with how he presented himself and acted on whims alone.

Aventurine himself will find he is particularly easy to fool, though he will have full awareness of it. He simply can't do anything about it, and falls for tricks and lies every time.

[kushtibokt]

(Sasu's) Ratio, with Gil's personality:

Aven: it's fine, it's ok, I can handle this

Sasu: btw aven has his foolishness quadrupled and his naivety maximized

Aven: nvm I cannot handle this

[kushtibokt]

I had a thought

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[kushtibokt]

So anyway, Polly is back and she squishes his cheeks with her hands. Her baby brother. Her tiny sibling. Her most small and duckling bromther. She has brought him snacks.

　The squishing does get a confused noise out of him, but he doesn't really retaliate at her affection. He's certainly not used to this sort of familiarity and, well, being treated like that... He hasn't been a little sibling for a long time.

　"Polly—err, Miss... Is something the matter?" He still has to pretend he's a big, confident director, even in these circumstances.

[kushtibokt]

His birthday had been one of the earlier things she'd learned about him. It's important to get to know your coworkers, after all. Jade had been rather forthcoming about it with her, too. And for as much as he frustrates her, Topaz has known Aventurine for a while now, and still likes to acknowledge the day when it comes around. His reaction over the years has become somewhat rehearsed, but she's not blind; she can tell it makes him a little uncomfortable. Or at least, that's what she thinks it is. She won't make it worse by acting hesitant or shy about it; that's not her style, anyway. This year, Topaz proudly presents a screen to her fellow Stoneheart. Though it's what's on the screen that's the gift.

“I nurtured these stocks against the judgement of our colleagues, and now they're outperforming all their decisions. I'm giving some to you as a gift. I'm such a kind coworker, aren't I?”

While that may have been it had she no other information, she has become quite aware of his interesting (and adorable) little pets. And so, a physical gift is placed onto his desk as well; full of treats and toys from various planets. Hopefully they'll like something in there! / @vagrantmenuet

　He wasn't unfamiliar with how his beloved coworker approached this particular "blessed" day.

　An earnest push for a heartfelt congratulations and a gift to match, despite always receiving his clearly subpar reactions, only mildly exaggerated to keep up with her enthusiasm and distract her from worrying about his otherwise sulking moods.

　 This year appeared to be no exception, not really, though her attempt was a little different this time around; arguably less personal, and far more catered to his Aventurine persona. She appeared so proud of having invested so much work and time on this project, though... and even more so to have made a gift out of it for him, no less.

　It didn't bother him any more than it amused him, in all honesty, so the thought of giving her credit for the effort was a given. Plus, it was undeniable that such a gesture―bless her kind heart―had a positive effect on his moods today, even when all it was was just a few big numbers and some banter material served on a silver platter.

　"Haa... Were you really working all this while on nurturing these for me? I'm so touched by your kindness, dear coworker." Bemused by her showcase of the spoils of her efforts, he complied with watching the numbers rolling on her holographic screen. "And what an interesting choice of investments. I will say it doesn't really surprise me that they outperformed in your hands. You have a knack for pushing the unmovable until it finally moves, don't you?"

　Then, as he caught something from the corner of his eye, his gaze shifted down toward his desk to find a box placed there for his convenience. Another gift for him? Surely, she would have brought it to attention if she meant it so?

　He slipped from her side to beeline towards his desk, peeking into the box to find that the gifts were not exactly for him, but rather...

　"For my little guys, too? Oh, you've been quite generous today." His amused chuckle gave way to a bigger smile as he turned to look at her again. "I'm sure they'll love these things. Would you like to come to my place and give these to them yourself?"

@vagrantmenuet

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[kushtibokt]

uhm. Guess I'll die then.

[kushtibokt]

ngl this is a strange team up but I'm extremely excited to see them working together. however given the nature of the holy grail wars I'm mildly afraid of Aven's characterization KJDSNFKS

[kushtibokt]

I NEED SABER............GRRAA

[kushtibokt]

It's a rough time to have two fucking muses getting content AT THE SAME TIME....

[kushtibokt]

I might take a little break from hsr (aside of dailies or stuff I can easily do on mobile) up until my son pops up to drag me back into it again, so I can focus on catching up with gnsn (exploration, world quests, etc) and building my skirk and a proper team for her.

Don't worry, I will still try to reply to things here whenever I get muse for stuff! But I will likely close my inbox for the time being just so I can catch up a bit more easily, and pause my queue to avoid further spamming my blog with non-ic content. Just avoiding overwhelming myself.