kvntparson - Tumblr blog

[kvntparson]

He’s on an adventure 🌧️🐱

[kvntparson]

kent is all silly goofy snapback party boy except for one thing and that is making sure all of the players know their first aid.

no one knows why kent becomes such an icy cold stickler during cpr training but they don’t question it (too) much

swoops kinda knows why.

kent definitely knows why.

[kvntparson]

[kvntparson]

for the rest of their lives any person who has been a member of SMH has gotten the same confused squinting thrown in their direction:

"Wait. Justin. You baked these cookies?"

"Who made this pie—Anthony?"

"Will, these are the most perfect pancakes I've ever—"

"Larissa, you could enter these into a contest. Holy shit."

"Okay, Alexei, where did you buy these?"

And everyone is like:

"Oh, yeah, I had this friend in college—"

"Yeah, I got really good at baking in college—"

"A friend taught me how to make two dozen pancakes while hungover—"

"Yeah. It's an award-winning recipe. I learned it from a friend—"

"Not store bought; I made them!!"

[kvntparson]

Big stretch

[kvntparson]

jack-shitty-lardo coparenting household where somehow jack is still completely in the closet just bc i think maximizing the layers of possible miscommunication as poor bitty tries to figure out whether this guy is into dudes and/or single is fucking hilarious to me 

[kvntparson]

these are sending me

[kvntparson]

2024 WILLASMOOCH!!!!!

[kvntparson]

But guys, Jack dressing up as his dad for Halloween would be so fucking funny. He’d get Bitty to paint a black eye on his face and make it look like he got a tooth knocked out (alternatively, he takes out his own fake tooth bc there’s a good chance he already has a fake). He’d throw on an old pens or habs jersey and go around and ham it the fuck up. He’d smile charmingly and tell people to call him Bobby and just start spouting all these inspirational quotes that Bob keeps stealing from his uncles.

Alicia absolutely LOST IT when she sees him, and she only laughs harder when Bob spends the first part of the night pouting cause his son is making fun of him. (But secretly he’s teary and flattered that his son chose to dress up as him for Halloween the same way he was when 6yo Jack did it the first time.) Both the Zimmerparents and Bitty have the picture of Jack and Bob on display somewhere and Shitty keeps one in his wallet that he pulls out for stars at sometimes. It’s a family classic.

[kvntparson]

[kvntparson]

they say “you’re a better player when you’re with Bittle” and he hears “smashing records since they started playing together.” 

they say “keep your head up, use him, he’s fast” and he hears “Zimmermann-Parson no-look one-timer.” 

they say “you’re gonna make headlines” and he hears “their rumors had rumors.”

Bittle says “can’t wait to play with you” and he hears “hey, there you are. Wanna get out of here?”

[kvntparson]

Uni.

[kvntparson]

I feel in my heart of hearts that jack and parse did each other dirty back in the day. both of then were stupid emotionally immature teenagers. and parse already got his ass whooped by the narrative. so maybe jack can be slow basal-level tortured by his worstie ex hooking up with his bestie teammate

[kvntparson]

[kvntparson]

St George and the Dragon

Johann König ca. 1630

[kvntparson]

まなてぃーなキセツなのです

It's the season of the manatee...