kwillow

[kwillow]

well, he might be a drama-prone, smug, spoiled-rotten nepo-brat, but at least he's also emotionally unstable!

[kwillow]

well, he might be a drama-prone, smug, spoiled-rotten nepo-brat, but at least he's also emotionally unstable!

[kwillow]

do you have an artfight?

I do -- same username as here.

That said, this isn't a good year for it on my end. I've been handed a massive project that I'll need to pound through for about 2-3 weeks in July, in a wake up-work 18 hours-sleep type fashion. Not exactly conducive for drawing.

I don't know, I could join and leave a warning on my profile that you should only draw for me if you want to take pity on a sad clown grad student clown/grad student (synonyms, really) because I likely won't be able to do anything in return, but that doesn't seem very sporting.

It'd be sad if I didn't get to play this year; I've done the event every year since 2017... I guess I'm torn about the relative merits of giving up in advance by not joining versus being delusional and/or selfish by joining, haha.

[kwillow]

May Update!

Late on this one, oops! I've been... really really busy. Just totally slammed by work and life and stuff these last couple months, but sneaking in work on these very important cowboys where I can...

Currently working on implementing a bighuge quest starring Mayor North! Only the final (fairly long) scene remains.

Not a whole lot else to report, but I am really hoping that after this next week things start to clear up a little and I can get back into my "working on Wishbone" groove again!

[kwillow]

😇Angel & Devil😈 (Boys, please don't fight!)

[kwillow]

You and chocodile have such a rich world! Ambroys, Hyden, and Theo get so much love in the askbox (rightfully so! They are fascinatingly written and SO appealing in design!) but I want to throw some love to Alex, Lou, and Jo! I'd love to know more about them and their interests! Like how we know Theo loved his model trains- Did his mother have any similar interests or passion projects? Or did her passion lie exclusively in her duties?

Wah thank you so much! And thank you for showing some love to the girls. C:

Jo does not have special passions in the way that Theo does, in part because they had very different paths through their youths.

She was not given much opportunity to stretch her wings or take up much space as a girl (not like Theo, who got to take over entire rooms with train sets and bottle ships). She spent her adolescence looking after parents, taking on the responsibilities for their estate that they couldn't be bothered with -- and some that she frankly thought she could do better than they. Nearly as soon as she came of age, she was married, and then she was set to producing heirs, then she had to try to teach baby Theo to act like a person and not a rabid dog (not an easy task and an ongoing project throughout his life)... so she had little time to dedicate to her own flights of fancy.

She did develop "hobbies" but these were skills that were expected of her to show she was a lady of good breeding. She could play instruments like the piano and harp, she can dance, she is very focused on having perfect penmanship. She can enjoy these pursuits, but does not seek to innovate or create, only to perform each task in calculated, mathematical, unimpeachable precision. The fact that each of these were something she needed to do for an audience, even an imagined one, made them more a duty than a passion.

...She liked reading for its own sake, at least.

Unlike many of my other characters who are the idle rich (or at least the idle-used-to-be-rich), Lou had a job to do. She worked for her father, the marshal of the de Luxe estate, minding the stables and kennels and needing to groom the millionth new horse Ambroys bought on stupid impulse. But she was an outdoorsy girl when she wasn't stuck in the stables; she enjoyed hunting and fishing. Ambroys had no patience for fishing, but he let her come with him on hunting trips so she could watch him kill stuff.

[kwillow]

"I MISS YOUR MOM TOO" hahaha aw I love that. I also miss his mom sometimes.

She's in a tough spot when it comes to her mortality, because the sort of man Theo is when she's around and when she's not are quite different, and often I want the special flavor of deranged and stupid he is when he doesn't have her around to moderate his worst impulses. But at least there's AUs! I'm glad that she happens to be alive and kicking (well, maybe not kicking as much as sneeringly backstabbing) in Wishbone. I always enjoy writing her dialogue.

She would have had to settle, eventually. Beggars can't be choosy, especially with a biological clock ticking. And I'm sure eventually Theo would just be begging to be put out his misery and have her just choose SOMEONE, ANYONE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT IT JUST HAS TO BE DONE

[kwillow]

Had Jo lived I can’t begin to imagine what her courtship arrangement attempts for Theo might’ve looked like? Or even how any would pan out long term!

Hahaha you and her both.

Even if Theo wasn't the way that he is, it would have been difficult for her to find a suitable candidate. She would have wanted to find a lady mage for him to marry, to carry on the bloodline. Not easy, considering their dwindling numbers. Also, she endured a not-terribly-enjoyable marriage, and wants only the best for her dreadful son, so she wouldn't accept just any woman of a suitable bloodline (not like the awful husband she got saddled with). She'd want to find a woman with the right personality, who was trustworthy, well-mannered, traditional, humble, bright but not too bright, eager to follow instructions from her mother-in-law... important qualities like that.

But while I think she would have set upon the hunt for a bride-to-be like a bloodhound if she felt it was time, she never thought Theo was "ready" to court. For his part, Theo was happy to avoid the topic. They both managed to jointly put off the idea of courtship years past the typical age for marriage. Perhaps Theo reaching his mid-thirties sans-wife would push her to try hunting for a suitable arrangement, Theo's reluctance be damned (well, understood and empathized with, but still damned) but she never made it that far, obviously...

I can't imagine it would have gone well. Considering that the Norths weren't quite fallen gentry yet when Jo was alive, but were definitely in the process of going ass-over-head down the steps of impoverishment, and Theo has the charisma of a blobfish with distemper with an even worse reputation, I doubt she'd have much luck arranging the marriage of her dreams.

It's still kinda cute for me to imagine Theo trying to court. He'd be so, so bad at it! Like a kitten trying to eat wet food for the first time but with way more sweat.

[kwillow]

Has anyone ever brought up Hyden's kid he had with that calico cat?

Hyden and any offspring of his are @Chocodile's jurisdiction. So I can't answer whether he was ever "brought up" during Hyden's life in the old kingdoms, but I can theorize about whether Theo might know of him (being a Hyden aficionado and all).

As far as I am aware, Hyden's bastard is one of countless souls who lived humble lives, perished, were mourned, and then were forgotten, never to be thought again of by future generations. The only reason he might have ever been recorded were because of rumors of his relation to Hyden, which could possibly have been the subject of biography or at least ancient court proceedings. I'm sure Hyden would want any mention of him scraped from his name, though -- Hyden likes the idea of being the last of his line (though not enough to keep him from screwing around, apparently).

If any record of the catbunson did make it into Theo's hands, though, he would just dismiss it as a pernicious rumor, like Theo does with everything he reads about Hyden that he finds distasteful.

[kwillow]

Received some interesting questions about how Jo would feel about Theo having friends, were she alive to see it.

In short: Jo might be pleasantly surprised that Theo had managed to make his first ever friend at the tender age of 35 years old. She would be less pleased about his selection.

(Asks & answers under the cut, per usual.)

She might find him an intriguing person on an intellectual level, not only as a living piece of history, but someone who extended his lifespan long after its natural expiration date. I think they could have interesting conversations about magic, politics, and their respective moral philosophies. That said, everything Jo said would be hissed through a jaw tightly clenched.

She wouldn't like Hyden, is what I mean. Damningly, she might find his personality to be disastrously similar to her beloathed husband. Vulgar, slimy, dishonest, infuriatingly unreserved. It wouldn't help that Jo shares a few qualities in common with Hyden's ideal woman (though a penchant for skull brassieres is sadly not one of them). Man might try to shoot his shot. She does not want to be shot at.

Her disapproval would cause tension between the three of them. Hyden is Theo's hero, but his mother is Theo's world. He might not change his mind fully (the two did have their disagreements, despite Theo's worshipful sycophancy) but he would also probably not have the single-minded loyalty to Hyden that he does when Jo is not around to absorb his devotion instead.

I believe Hyden would, at least, attempt to make nice with Jo, if only because he would recognize that she and Theo are a package deal and he wants at least one mage on his side (two would be even better).

Honestly, I think Theo would be more jealous of Jo having friends than vice-versa. Jo was a lonely girl who grew into a lonely woman, comfortable in solitude. She would miss Theo if he were going out to play with his little friends instead of spending time with her, but she can occupy herself. Theo would argue he is also a loner, but in reality he's never been without the undivided attention of his mother. He would cope poorly with losing that. Good thing she also didn't have any other friends! (...These two are very pathetic and weird.)

In theory, Jo would be cautiously pleased about Theo managing to form positive relationships with other people. It would signify a massive leap forward in his social acumen and independence, and could imply he is more capable than she thought of politicking and maybe even psychological manipulation, two very important skills for a man of his status to have.

But beyond being proud of him developing new expertises, she would be exacting in her standards for what a close friend for Theo should be. She feels he is naive and could be easily taken advantage of. Her attitude towards any potential companions would be that of redneck father interrogating his daughter's boyfriend while the barrel of the shotgun in his lap is surreptitiously pointed at the young man's groin. If she judged any individuals untrustworthy, she would attempt to intervene or at least reduce their presence in her son's life in whatever way would be appropriately subtle and convenient.

Ultimately, as far as she's concerned, Theo can have friends. But he cannot forget where his loyalties should lie. Family always comes first.

[kwillow]

Hes such a cute little guy to me. i just love evil guys who would probably be so bad for me njdsngjdsjgds. @kwillow 's Theopolis for fun sketching today ngjdsgjndsnj

[kwillow]

Delicious ice cream for the summer!

[kwillow]

Forever Gold is a text-heavy dark fantasy roleplaying game. Assume the life of Duke Quintrell Barghur, a pariah of high birth, and grapple with your unlikely rise to political relevancy as the thriving alliance between Vestur's three kingdoms comes under strain. Achieve, fail, and despair as you navigate the frustrations of the Tri-Kingdom court and negotiate precarious double-binds. Halfway between visual novel and interactive fiction, Forever Gold is a unique multimedia experience incorporating artwork and writing with RPG mechanics such as skill systems, dice rolls, and lasting narrative decisions. It is intended for mature audiences.

EPISODE 1 NOW AVAILABLE

At long last, our first real installment! Brought to you by @broncoburro and @lsdoiphin, Forever Gold is a massive labor of love; this episode is the first of many more to come. Play online in your browser, or download to play offline on your desktop.

👑Reblogs greatly appreciated!👑

[kwillow]

Acknowleding that problematic and nasty guys are your favorite genre of character, you should consider the possibility that defying the expectations of his infernal appearance by being a nice, kind person (and notice I said nice and kind, not genuine), would be the most consistent way for Infernal Ambroys to get positive attention.

Well sure, though as I mentioned in that aforementioned too-long ramble, an Ambroys not lavished in fame and praise growing up would probably not be so focused on maximizing attention from common rubes as he normally is.

I noted an Infernal Ambroys would put up a nicer front (flattering, obsequious, trying to appear helpful and useful) to ingratiate himself to powerful people, but most people wouldn't be worth the effort and the risk of rejection. Again, expending effort only to get rejected would hurt his ego, which is always sensitive when you're an Ambroys.

Relatedly, multiple people also asked "what if an ordinary person were to love infernal Ambroys so much and never ever reject him, would he be good then?" and like I mentioned with how he'd hypothetically interact with Lou, he'd go "oh that's unexpectedly pleasant" but neglect that bond so he can focus on maintaining his relationships with high-status people instead.

Sorry, I know people want avenues for my characters to be sweetie pie bestie material (judging by the amount of asks I get trying to figure out scenarios where they're nicer, akin to a friendship-focused version of Green Eggs and Ham), but they're just not often capable of uncomplicated, easy friendships due to their moral failings and baggage. Maybe this is MY baggage, but imo not even the most decent person can be perfectly nice and make the right choices all the time! That's why I like making characters that explore being someone who needs connection (as all sapient social beings do) but keeps fucking it up.

[kwillow]

Infernal Ambroys maintaining one crucial universal constant of the utmost importance.

Manwhore.

☝️

bitches love them sum nibble of the badboy kibble.

Alas, not so. It's easy to miss because it's buried in 10 paragraphs of my rambling (sorry OTL) but I mentioned briefly when talking about how an infernal Ambroys would act that he would probably "tamp down on the sexy bad-boy thing (knowing it would reflect badly on him and come off as “sleazy” instead of “dreamy”)."

I did draw him looking sleazy in that initial art, but I wasn't really thinking of it as a developed AU at the time so I wasn't considering any uuh psychological factors :'D But Ambroys' manwhore motivation is to get easy positive attention -- if he'd be likely to be rejected, as most people in his society at the time would do to hellspawn, he wouldn't bother to do the roguish rake routine. It'd be pointless (and get his feelings hurt).

It's possible he'd still use sex as a tool of manipulation if a powerful target did seem receptive, but it wouldn't be one of his main ways of getting what he wants. (He'd probably go for flattery and ingratiation first.)

[kwillow]

of course i adore foppish pretty boy ambroys, but gosh shmoozy goth-ish infernal ambroys sounds incredibly interesting. id love to see maybe a one-off infernal ambroys comic, if the inclination ever struck you

Aw it's flattering that you found my incoherent thought-experiment rambling to coalesce into an interesting character concept haha!

If I had infinite time and energy, sure -- though I'll admit I don't love writing those scheming sorts of characters as much as impulsive hot messes (...which may be apparent in the two disasters I draw most often these days) though I'm sure it would be entertaining in its own way.

But, ultimately, I have too too TOO many comic ideas for Ambroys in his natural state (literally dozens of undrawn scripts in my comic-script folder U_U) so I think my hands are full at the moment!

[kwillow]

A little devil.

Mostly drawn because I got some asks about what an infernal Ambroys might be like -- I didn't figure people would be curious, but perhaps I should have known. Tumblr loves a tiefling...

(Asks and answers under the cut)

AUs that change up major aspects of a characters life are always tricky to solidify, because you need to consider which of their personality traits are inborn versus which ones were manifested or exacerbated by their life history. Even though I think growing up as this highly distrusted and stigmatized kind of creature could theoretically make him humbler or nicer, he wouldn’t feel much like himself. I would consider three traits to be core to an Ambroys feeling like an Ambroys: his ego issues, his need to be liked, and his difficulty empathizing with others. So let’s assume he’s going to be that way no matter what.

Being of celestial heritage, born of these powerful, once-worshipped (even if they aren’t any longer) beings, naturally exacerbates those personality traits. He’s got a big ego because he’s grown up being told he’s the gods’ favorite princess, but it’s also easily damaged because he can’t live up to those expectations, his preoccupation with having others’ adoration is fed by being guaranteed their attention like the Baroque version of child star, and he’s going to empathize with others less because he’s literally “not like them.”

Being infernal, these hated, feared and disliked creatures, would flip some of these things. Maybe instead, his ego would manifest as being something “special” but despised despite his capabilities. One can assume his whining about how “people just can’t handle me because I’m cooler than them” in this comic would be similar, but heavier on the “the world just doesn’t GET ME, MAAAN” and less on trying to be something other people want (because people don’t want him in the first place). Instead of fearing he’s less than people expect, he might instead be convinced he can be more than people know. Instead of being hugely egotistic on the surface with secret insecurities, he might scrape and act self-deprecating while secretly believing he’s above all that.

While normally, Ambroys can get away with bad behavior because people are inclined to believe he’s inherently good (including himself), this Ambroys would be told he’s inherently evil. While I think that could manifest as him being completely mask-off, because he wants to be liked, an infernal Ambroys might instead be more careful with his behavior. 

For instance, normally, Ambroys knows that people he’s just met will be on his side, and getting to know him well tends to lead to their opinions of him worsening, so he cultivates shallow first impressions and tries to play to what other people’s best impressions of him are, as well as resorting to cheap tactics like sex appeal to have the most shallow attention-grabbing persona possible. So, despite how I drew him, an infernal Ambroys might tamp down on the sexy bad-boy thing (knowing it would reflect badly on him and come off as “sleazy” instead of “dreamy”).

Leading from that, I typically describe Ambroys as “stupid,” but he’s like that not because of any inherent limitations to his intellect, but because he can coast through life without trying, so he never needed to develop any skills he didn’t want to. Eventually, in his older years, he struggles enough in his life that he develops things like “forethought” and “theory of mind.” This Ambroys would have to learn more quickly to demonstrate his best qualities to others, so he’d be cleverer and more canny.

Would he use that for good? Fuck no, he’s still an Ambroys. But his attempts at manipulation would be more calculated and long-term, rather than “just start going through my mansplain, manipulate, manwhore routine until I get the attention I want” that Ambroys does. An infernal Ambroys would know he’ll never have the majority of people on his side, so he might value making few, more valuable connections more. He’d focus his efforts on seeking useful allies and sucking up to them to try to get what he wants, instead of wasting his time trying to appeal to people who will probably never care for him. Instead of shallow surface appeal, he might focus on appearing more useful to key allies. He cannot be wanted, but he can be needed. Instead of trying to crowd-surf, he’d try to ladder-climb.

At some point in Ambroys’ life, the powers that be put him to use in the military. Ambroys normally views this as an aggravating burden (albeit fun at times, in the way that he enjoys hunting boars). Infernal Ambroys would be more gung-ho about it, in the interest of demonstrating his usefulness to powerful people and getting the recognition he feels he deserves.

You might notice that none of these behaviors are particularly “nice.” Ambroys can normally appear very friendly, if not terribly kind, because he assumes most people will like him, and that gives them value even if he doesn’t really think much of their inner worlds or emotions. Everyone is beneath him, so he doesn’t treat a noblewoman much better than a barmaid, barring some necessary rules of etiquette. Since most people won’t like an infernal Ambroys due to widespread beliefs about infernals, a demonic Ambroys wouldn’t bother with them. He wouldn’t even pretend to give a shit about most people. Instead glad-handing with the peasantry, he’d focus on people “on his level” (power-players, nobility, etc.) He’d appear much cooler in his manner with most people, perhaps shallowly polite but distant, shirking most social interaction because it’d be a waste of his time.

…Wow that was more words than I thought I’d be able to type about this silly concept, maybe I should cut that one off here. TL;DR: Infernal Ambroys would appear more humble, but be just as egotistical beneath. He’d be more asocial than Ambroys normally is, but work very hard to cultivate key relationships, being a more canny social player at a younger age. He would not really be any nicer, unless you’re in a position of power that might help him get the appreciation he feels he deserves.

I went into his personality above, so instead let's talk about FAMILY MATTERS.

To briefly summarize Ambroys' family situation: his father is an older nobleman who never succeeded at having heirs, and was "blessed" with one by a celestial because of his devout and goodly nature, who left Ambroys with him to raise. A few years later, that same nobleman had an oops-baby with a commoner woman -- that would be Charles (apparently Ambroys' dad wasn't completely infertile after all).

Perhaps, with an infernal, the whole Ambroys situation would be less a prayer being answered, and more a deal with the devil. A Faustian bargain to finally have the son he's always wanted.

Ambroys' dad is a good guy. I think he'd be kind to his demon son (he asked for it after all), but would keep him sequestered away, knowing the stigma they'd both face if he showed his his in polite society.

Charles entering the picture would also be... complicated. You go to all this trouble and sully your good name to have a demon baby, and then just have a perfectly good normal baby a few years later. Damn. A bastard child isn't great for your image, but it's more socially acceptable than the whole deal with the devil thing.

Rather than the normal dynamic of Ambroys being paraded about and Charles kept on the sidelines until he's proven himself, in this AU, Charles would be the son their dad favors at first, with Ambroys being the shameful secret. Charles is also still a good guy, so I think he'd try to be friendly with Ambroys, but would always have this pitying, condescending edge to their interactions (as opposed to normal Charles, who looks up to a celestial Ambroys as this perfect older brother he can never live up to).

Their relationship would be less turbulent, but an infernal Ambroys would resent Charles being the "good" son in the same way that celestial Ambroys resents him for being a rival. Instead of taking it out on him by being a petty bully, an infernal Ambroys might instead try to use him for his own ends, being a devil on his shoulder (ha ha), knowing Charles can navigate through the world more easily than he can. Then take out that long-bubbling resentment on him in a big way, once he doesn't need Charles any longer. They've still gotta have that Abel and Cain thing going on.

They might still become friends as kids, because I don't think Ambroys would be cognizant enough of his power quest at like five years old to decide she's below his notice, and Lou flouts social norms, perhaps including avoiding devils. They'd need to keep their friendship a secret, though -- her parents would probably not be so keen on their daughter's little buddy.

Though I don't think they'd stay close. Part of what Lou likes about Ambroys is that he shows a side of himself he doesn't to other people, which he does primarily because she's lower status and therefore "harmless," and he's also a major ditz who looks to her for advice and consoling because he doesn't "get" people (not that she does). His openness lets her feel she has this absurd connection to power, and command over that power, that someone of her status normally never would. It's intoxicating to her.

Since infernal Ambroys would be cannier, he wouldn't need advice from her. He also wouldn't want her to feel that she has power over him, which ruins that avenue of appeal. He might still appreciate their childhood friendship, being someone with few positive social connections, but grow more distant as he seeks more valuable connections later in life. Her insulting, abrasive personality would also be unpleasant and tiresome to him -- he would get that from everyone, as opposed to celestial Ambroys, who finds it novel and exciting that she's so openly rude to him (while still seeking out his company). I think she'd pick up on that and start considering him someone that can't handle her, just like everyone else -- and also, damn, not even a fucking hellspawn can tolerate her. That would be a wound to her ego.

Ultimately, infernal Ambroys wouldn't need her in the way that Ambroys normally needs her. Instead of ending with a bang of a big blow-out break-up fight, their relationship would end with a whimper of prolonged ghosting. I guess that's better for her in the long run.