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“Things are getting bad again.”
— (via coral)
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Why am I the way that i am. I want to document this because I know my parents won’t see it. Today is February 27, 2018. I had an abortion back in August. I have been trying to let go...it’s been months...like get over it!! But it’s so hard and no one feels it but me. The boy doesn’t care, but I cared. I’m only writing this because my parents will never see this. My dad would never forgive me if he did. He would write me off forever. My life is not what it was. And it will never be. I was doing okay and now I’m drinking a lot and now I’m getting sad. Bye tumblr P.s. please keep my secret...forever
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you’re never coming back
and I understand why you wouldn't want to.
I ended things officially last night. 3 and a half years gone just like that..
but you have to understand I couldn't do it anymore. I love you so much it consumes me...every part of my being and my life is wrapped up in you. I want you to look at me the way I look at you. and you don't. you never will. you made that very clear when I confessed my love for you and you turned me away. so I told you that I cant do this anymore. I cant be half of your heart. I want it all. bc you are all of mine. you are my best friend...imagining life without you completely kills me. I am writing this as tears stream down my face. I had to do this for me tho, I had to say goodbye because I want to be with someone who is in love with me. you don't see me the way that I see you. youre not in love with me. saying goodbye to you will forever be one of my hardest goodbyes. seeing you fall in love with someone else and seeing you happy with someone else literally eats me from the inside out. but I cant wait for you to realize I'm the one for you because its not fair to me to have to wait. ive waited so long for you. ive been by your side for everything and ive done everything for you and you still don't want me. our memories our my favorite memories...they always will be. I'm 24 and know what its like to feel a bond with someone that feels like the other half of my soul. you are my soulmate, but I have to say goodbye.
I don't know if I will ever get over you and I don't know if I will ever love someone like i love you again. you know my heart, you are my very very best friend. but this time I know its really over. I cant go back. I cant keep hoping that youll fall in love with me and want to start a llife with me. I asked you to be with me and you said no.
I have to walk away. I have to say goodbye to the one thing and the one love ive ever known. thank you for showing me that I'm not a weirdo and that there is someone out there who knows my humor. I will miss you more than you will ever know.
I'm letting go of us as much as it kills me. but I hope we both find happiness.
I love you immensely forever and always,
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