lackingworth

[lackingworth]

Why I am so great 

by lackingworth

In a world where man can bend fate to their will. A world with men that make something out of nothing. A world where those men are referred to as wizards. Then who am I in such a world? IM A FUCKING WIZARD.

Why spend your life wishing for a miracle when you can create one? Why live your life trying to change when you can cast a spell that changes the world for you? Why give up on looking for the lost left sock when you can cast a spell to find it? 

Sadly being a wizard isn't the perfect life. Because even as a wizard, I legally still have to look like a normal human. Which means that I have to constantly remind people of how great I am. How do I do that you may ask? Well, there isn't one single best way of showing off my wizardry powers. But I can at least tell you about some of my favorite ways. Sometimes I like turning water into wine in front of old people who don't understand magic yet. And tell them that I am Jesus. But that got me arrested twice so I stopped doing that. Other times I just read people's brains. Which is illegal but they can never tell the cops. I already got so much dirt on them. You wouldn't believe just how fucked up some people are. They are lucky I don't report them to the cops after what I read in their heads.

Lastly, sometimes I like to give people a cold for no reason. Just for fun 

Huh? You think I am an asshole for doing these things? Well, that just means that you're listening well.

As a wizard, I can cast a lot of spells such as teleportation, fireball, and “depression curing”.

Other than depression curing I mostly use teleportation. It's really convenient. Teleporting to the kitchen to take a look in the fridge. Teleporting out of a party without anyone noticing. Teleporting to my neighbor's kitchen to take a look in their fridge. It is a great spell that I recommend to all new wizards. Just make sure not to teleport your arms where your ears are. Happens way more often than you might think.

But other than all of that there really isn't much more to being a wizard. I mean other than not having to pay for the electric or water bill. And being able to duplicate money. The government hasn't really put much regulation on that yet. Seeing how most current wizards are “respectable individuals that wouldn't do such petty crimes”. Honestly, that's just stupid. My cousin is a wizard and he fucking cooks meth.

Anyway, I am happy that you now know of my greatness. You can always show your gratitude by giving me money. If you're a fan of me now or have even fallen for my greatness here is my discord "lackingworth". Don't worry I will 100% ignore you. But you trying to reach out to me would fuel my confidence.