ladyeilien

[ladyeilien]

— Leonard Matlovich

this quote makes me want to chew glass and i think if Ice ever heard it he’d disintegrate into a little pile of dust. gay, repressed dust.

[ladyeilien]

The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.

[ladyeilien]

[ladyeilien]

at work: i could be cooking and cleaning and coding and reading and working out and weaving tapestries and playing video games and climbing a mountain and having sex and filming a movie right now yet they keep me trapped in this prison. idle hands are the devils plaything and i am being forcibly molded into his perfect conduit. i must break free, seize the day and waste not the beauty inherent to finite mortal life

at home: my one true passion upon this pointless earth is bog mummy imitation

[ladyeilien]

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

[ladyeilien]

behind every late diagnosed neurodivergent person is a parent who has absolutely nothing going on at all don't worry about it

[ladyeilien]

STEP THREE: We definitely don't want to sound like your parents here, but if, by any chance, you manage to backtrack your steps to the last place where you might have anchored your frigate and it is not there, please double-check you're at the right harbour before reporting it stolen. We are aware that harbours can seem strikingly similar to the untrained eye, or to any eye under the effects of alcohol, really, but local authorities won't look kindly on you after launching an investigation only to discover that that frigate anchored on a nearby harbour with a paint job disturbingly similar to the one you described is, indeed, your frigate. Whoever allowed you to have a frigate in the first place won't be impressed by your complete lack of orientation skills, either.

[ladyeilien]

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion, but more people should read incomplete/unfinished/in-progress fanfics.

I've noticed this huge trend where creators on tiktok and tumblr who will be explaining how to use Archive Of Our Own to new users and they always say "and make sure to scroll down and click completed only" or how people will go out of their way to mention they only read completed fics 'because they were traumatized when they forgot to check the dates and didn't realize this fic hadn't been updated since 2012'.

The thing is - I think by not engaging with and/or actively avoiding writer's WIPs readers are potentially adding to the aggregate of abandoned works. Now this obviously isn't the case for all abandoned fics, anything from major life events, to loss of interest, to getting busy can be a reason for a fic getting abandoned - but at least on some level I just know that writers are quitting while they're ahead when they aren't garnering any response or feedback because reading WIPs has become unpopular. If you're worried about reading something that hasn't been updated since 2012 then you can use the date updated function to sort out old fics.

Anyways, support your favorite fanfic writers by engaging with their WIPs.

[ladyeilien]

💜🤍🩶🖤 | ace plane — last yrs is here ☺️

[ladyeilien]

Stargazer by Assia Maeve Wynn

[ladyeilien]

Only just now getting onto the top gun train but i love ittttttt 😩

[ladyeilien]

thinkin about how hangman is seen by the dagger cohort as unpredictable/unreliable/a wildcard in the air but he is always perfectly in control of himself. throwing darts blind, changing the song on the jukebox to flirt with rattle rooster, swallowing his disappointment when mav doesn’t pick him to run the mission. 

thinkin about how rooster is seen as mr reliable/always has your back in the air but time and time again we see that he’s nowhere near in control of himself. the corkscrew cobra bs with mav, attempting to kick hangman’s ass in front of the whole assignment, refusing to fly the sim any way other than his way to prove a spiteful point.

they’re both told they need what the other has but the truth is they’re mirrors, reflecting the faults and flaws they try to ignore back to one another over and over again. it’s not that hangman’s got to rein in his impulsivity - he has to cede a bit of control and trust the team. it’s not that rooster needs to ‘don’t think just do’ - he’s got to stop letting his emotions dictate his flying, make a plan, and execute it without any shadow of a doubt that he can get it done.

i just *curls fist softly* fuckin love character foils.

[ladyeilien]

PRETTY WOMAN (1990) dir. Garry Marshall

[ladyeilien]

the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("

[ladyeilien]

Every night I ask myself "is it better to stay up and make sure something gets done, or bank on going to sleep early-ish and being more productive tomorrow" and then land on a worst of both worlds compromise.

[ladyeilien]

every author you love has written something so terrible they screamed into a pillow. welcome to the tradition.

[ladyeilien]

Absolutely, I think that the certainty that Bradley would see active combat as soon as he graduated played a huge role in everything.

If Carole was still alive by then, it would have definitely influenced her decision. But I can still see her asking Mav to keep Bradley away from the Navy, even if she didn't -- losing her husband like that and seeing Mav after coming back from the Gulf and Bosnia wars was probably enough for her to want to keep her son away from that life.

But no matter how that promise came to be, I think that certainty was the deciding factor in Mav actually following through with it and pulling Bradley's papers, knowing that it would cost him his relationship with him.

That fact that, as a result of this, Bradley decided to just enlist in the Navy, and hence was deployed to a war zone way before he would have had if he had gone to the academy... that's something that haunted Mav for the rest of his life.

dojng the math, bradley bradshaw would've turned 18 in 2001. he joined the navy cuz 9/11