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ladypaulsvn · 5 years ago

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Yours, Mine, Ours

Billie x Reader x Cordelia

Word Count: 1,974

Part 5/?

Read part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4

a/n: SO sorry it took me forever and a day to update this fic, i hope y’all enjoy this chapter <3

Summary: You’ve decided to spend some time with Billie and the two of you spend the day gardening as Cordelia gets lost in her head over her past decisions.

If you were honest, it wasn't the easiest thing, trusting someone again. Cordelia had known your past. She had mended your broken heart and broken mind. She knew of your struggles and the hardships you went through to get where you were today.

She knew of your separation anxiety, depression, all of your trauma. You entrusted Cordelia with the thing most sacred to you, your mind.

Cordelia knew all of this, yet she still went against her words. Her words of never leaving your side. Her words of helping you through the good and the bad. Her words of never treating you like the people of your past did.

Cordelia betrayed you and your trust, then to top it off, broke up with you before you had the chance to do it yourself.

Truthfully, Cordelia regretted her decisions. She never meant to hurt you. Especially in the way she now knew she had.

Cordelia sat in her office, working on a set of notes for a potions class she had to teach later this week as a knock came to her door.

"Ms. Cordelia?" The door swung open and Zoe rushed inside, jumping out of fright when Cordelia shut the door behind her.

"What's wrong Zoe?" Cordelia asked as Zoe carefully made her way to her desk. "Nothings wrong... per say." Zoe rocked on her heels as she stood in front of Cordelia.

Cordelia was seated at her desk, hands clasped in front of her on top of her open notebook, notes scrawled along the page. "What is it Zoe?"

"Y/n won't be here for a few days and I figured that I should tell you." Zoe vomited the words from her mouth as Cordelia's brow furrowed.

"Where is she going to be then?" Cordelia's thoughts were jumbled. "She said she was staying with a friend for a few days. Wouldn't tell me who." Zoe's breath was quick as she watched for Cordelia's reaction.

"A friend?" Cordelia spoke aloud, muttering so quietly Zoe almost didn't hear. "Yes, a friend. She assured me that she was okay. I just felt that you ought to know so you didn't worry when you realized she wasn't here." Zoe explained her actions, yet again.

"Thank you for telling me Zoe. I think you have a class to teach in a few minutes." Cordelia waved her away and Zoe bolted from her office. Cordelia was truly terrifying sometimes.

Cordelia sighed. She knew you were with Billie. It's not like she could do anything. She was the one who broke up with you!

Still, her heart ached at the thought of someone else caring for you, getting every moment of your time. To say she regretted her decisions the past few months would be an understatement. She wished she could turn back time and start again.

***

You woke the next morning to an empty bed and one too many notifications from Cordelia on your phone.

You really didn't want talk to Cordelia. You had a wonderful night with Billie and she made you feel a lot better.

You wondered where she went. Maybe she had a shoot today? She would've told you.

You got up and walked down the stairs, looking for Billie in the different rooms of her house until you found her, still in her pajamas, sitting at the kitchen counter.

She had a cup of what you presumed was coffee in her hand and a newspaper in the other. 'Of course she reads the newspaper' you thought.

"Billie?" She jumped at the sound of your voice but soon a soft smile played on her lips as she beckoned you towards her. "Good morning doll, how'd you sleep?"

You padded your way over to her, sitting on the stool next to her and resting your head on her shoulder. "I slept okay. Thank you for letting me stay with you."

"You're welcome sweetheart. I was thinking about what we could do today, and since you told me you're a green witch and all, I thought maybe we could go out to my garden? It's a little worse for wear as i've been filming and I don't exactly have the most green thumb." She laughed as she held out her thumb.

You bit your lip to stifle your laughter. "I'd love to help you with your garden, Billie." You kept your head rested on her shoulder as she drank the rest of her coffee and read more of the newspaper.

You had nearly fallen back asleep when Billie spoke again "Darling? Why don't we go get dressed in something garden appropriate and head outside?" You lifted your head from her shoulder and nodded, sliding off the stool.

***

You had half-hazardously packed your bags when you left Robichaux's yesterday, so Billie had to lend you a pair of shorts. You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel some sorta way to wear Billie's clothing. To feel like you were properly "hers".

You just hoped that Billie would continue lending you her clothes to wear throughout the rest of your visit so you didn't need to go back to the academy before really going back, which you knew you had to eventually.

You almost dreaded going back if you were honest. You'd only been with Billie a day and a half now but god was it the best day and half you'd had lately.

You met Billie outside at her small garden. It was nothing compared to the greenhouse at the academy (which was the only thing you seemed to miss) but you hoped you could give Billie a true hand.

She was bent down placing a flower into a pre dug hole, dirt covering her gloves. You were almost sad you couldn't see her pretty hands and nails anymore.

"Daisies?" You guessed, though you absolutely knew it was a daisy. Billie looked up at you, her sun hat creating a shadow on her face and her giant sunglasses covering the top portion. You wished you could see more of her face.

"Yes! I love daisies." She smiled as you before turning back to the soil and making sure the roots were properly covered. "I've got so many more to plant. Come help me?" She didn't look at you when she said this, she knew you'd help.

And you did. You rushed right over to the pile of potted daisies and miscellaneous flowers that sat next to the crouching woman and picked one up, snipping the plastic pot that surrounded it and peeling it off.

You went right to work as you crouched down next to her and dug a hole, putting the daisy bundle right into it and covering the roots back up as you'd done a million times at the academy.

You, Cordelia, and Misty had spent a whole day outside once, surrounding the academy with hundreds of flowers. You shook your head to rid the memory as you began digging another hole and planting another bundle of daisies.

You stayed out there with Billie for a couple hours, planting the rest of the flowers and fixing up the rest of her garden. Pulling weeds and watering everything nicely. She even dragged you to the shed and you both carried out some decorations she had stored, putting them up all around the garden.

You stood up after stabbing the last decorated stake into the ground and smiled up at Billie who was across the yard. "It looks marvelous!" She yelled to you with a smile and you threw both thumbs up before making your way over to her.

"Ready to go inside? We could both use a shower I think." She winked at you and smiled, a blush creeping onto your face as you nodded.

She grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house, hastily making her way up the stairs and into her bedroom. "Start the shower would you y/n?" She asked sweetly and you nodded, the tint of red still not having left your cheeks.

"I was thinking we could order a pizza after?" Billie yelled to you and you yelled back a resounding "Hell YES!" which made her laugh.

Billie had shown you how to use her shower the night before, as you found it rather confusing. That didn't change now however, as you completely forgot how it worked. You twisted the shower knobs, trying your best to get the temperature correct but whatever you did, it always seemed to be icy cold or scolding hot.

You touched the water again, pulling back with an "OUCH!" as it scolded you once again. "Forgot how already?" Billie hummed, a smirk playing on her face as you turned to her, embarrassed but nodding.

She had taken off all of her accessories at this point, no sun hat or sunglasses. Not even a pearl necklace or diamond earring in sight. Not a single silver ring and her shoes had been thrown to the side.

Her smirk turned into a look of false pity as she met you at the shower door, leaning in front of you and fixing the temperature. "Okay, test it now." She leaned back, waiting.

You looked at her but touched the water again, a perfect temperature. "Perfect." you smiled at her. "Thank you."

"No problem darling." She smiled. "You know.." she called to you as went to exit the bathroom to give her space. You quickly turned back to look at her. "Conserving water is one of many ways to save the planet." She smiled innocently at you and you quirked a brow in her direction.

"Care to join me? It's the least we could do to help the planet, right?" She just asked you to join her in the shower. Oh god. You looked at her hesitatingly but nodded, making her smile grow impossibly big as she motioned for you to come back her way.

You face had to be on fire at this point as you shut the door and made your way back over to her. Your face definitely wasn't getting any less red as she yanked you into her. A yelp left your lips as she planted a surprise kiss onto them and she pulled away with a smirk. "You're so cute when you blush."

***

Meanwhile on the other side of town, Cordelia was deep in her thoughts. She had been trying to convince herself not to drive to you and beg for your forgiveness. Especially considering the location you were at right now...

But her thoughts got the better of her as she informed Zoe she'd be "going out" and would be back later. Zoe gave her a worried look but nodded at Cordelia's instruction to "hold down the fort" while she was gone.

She quickly made her way outside to her car, pinging your phone for its location and then typing the address into her GPS. This was a little much, sure, but Cordelia had to fix this.

As she pulled into Billie's driveway, she noted the home seemed cozy and the small garden to the side seemed recently redone. She wondered if you had a hand in that renovation. You had the magic touch when it came to plants.

Cordelia parked and turned off her little black car before walking up to the front door and pushing the doorbell. She heard the doorbell ring throughout the house, then a familiar voice.

"The pizza's here already?!" Cordelia heard your voice from inside. The door swung open and there you were, hair wet and in a silk laden nightgown that obviously didn't belong to you and Cordelia assumed to be Billie's. A ping of jealously ran through her.

"Cordelia..."

tags: @poulengp @sarahsbabygurl @duchessfics @shineestark @grilledcheeseandguavajelly @lana-b-bana @chokemepaulson @nowthisislanabanana @make--your--life--spectacular @mistyyygoode @mssupremepaulson [comment to be added to the tag list <3]

#american horror story #au fanfiction #fanfic #ahs apocalypse #ahs coven #cordelia x reader #cordelia goode x reader #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard #ahs cordelia #cordelia goode #ahs murder house

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ladypaulsvn · 5 years ago

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I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe.

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts.

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like.

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues;

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood.

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively.

Uncomfortable with silence;

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic.

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety;

-How to stop worrying.

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques.

-Self-help strategies for anxiety.

-Helping a friend with anxiety.

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety.

Sad, angry and depressed/depression;

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management.

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness;

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness.

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness.

-How to deal with loneliness.

Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.

Addiction;

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

Eating disorders;

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments.

-Support services for eating disorders.

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery.

-Recovering from an eating disorder.

-100+ reasons to recover.

-Understanding and managing eating disorders.

Dealing with self-hatred;

-3 ways to ease self-loathing.

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate.

Suicidal;

-International suicide hotlines (1) (2)

-Preventing suicide.

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.

Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.

-Delusions and hallucinations.

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home.

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD.

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments.

Borderline personality disorder;

-Helping someone with BPD.

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse;

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships.

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse.

-Hotlines services.

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship.

-Domestic violence support.

-Signs of an abusive relationship.

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship.

-Surviving abuse.

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed.

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused.

Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you.

Loss and grief;

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger.

-Common reactions to death.

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family.

-Coping with a breakup.

Getting help;

-Seeking help early.

-All about psychological treatments.

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality.

Things you need to remember;

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not.

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this.

-You are not alone.

-You are enough.

-You are important.

-You are worth it.

-You are strong.

-You are not a failure,

-Good people exist.

-Reaching out shows strength.

-Breathe.

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you.

-Give yourself credit.

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones.

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend.

-Focus on the things you can change.

-Let go of toxic people.

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do.

-Try not to beat yourself up.

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next.

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance.

-You are smart.

-You are loved.

-You are wanted.

-You are needed.

-Better days are coming.

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright.

-You have more potential than you think.

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

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