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#every time I see someone posting questions to better understand their loved one’s dx I want to throw my phone at the wall#fuck all of yall#lmao
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#I am a CHILD who let me have this god forsaken phone#someone doing the basic task of hearing the words that you said doesnt mean that they want you in their life#it definitely doesnt mean that you need to hold on to the nature of your relationship for as long as you can#its not all black and white its not that he either hates you and wants to see you suffer or he’s so in love you’re going to be his forever#theres an in between#he kinda cares enough to be mad just not in the way that makes me feel like I as a person matter#he was so upset to hear me say that when someone gives me attention I take it#that was all that he heard#because if I say it with my voice he has bad ears if I type it out theres just too much to read#too much trouble to try to process it#and why bother when I’m going to take it back anyway I’ll just say it doesnt matter so I can keep him#I know I cant have needs if I want him#I’m supposed to be the one thing thats easy#it made you so angry#you know its the price that I have to pay you couldnt stand the thought of someone else collecting#you were so upset you said it was special to you that it meant something that it clearly means nothing to me#I couldnt be here if it meant that much to me#as it is it pains me it has for years#everyone is so lucky
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#when you let your boyfriend take your pop culture reference shirt that he didnt recognize because you thought youd be together forever#and now hes moved on with someone better than you in every way#I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD HE BETTER NOT GIVE THAT SHIRT TO HER#WHY DOES HE THINK ITS OKAY TO GIVE AWAY THINGS THAT WERE IMPORTANT TO ME TO GIRLS HE WENT ON TWO DATES WITH#BUT THEN GETS UPSET THAT I GAVE HIM HIS UNDERWEAR NOT EVEN BOXERS I COULD WEAR THEY WERE BRIEFS AND HE THINKS ITS THE HIGHEST OFFENSE#ITS YOUR UNDERWEAR#I’M GIVING IT BACK#TO YOU#AND YOUR DICK#NOT TO SOME RANDOM MAN I DONT CARE ABOUT WHO DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT#YOURE DOUBTING HOW I FELT ABOUT THE ONLY TRIP WEVE HAD TOGETHER IN OUR NINE YEARS ALL IVE EVER WANTED WAS YOUR TIME#YOURE ASKING ME QUESTIONS LIKE IT MEANT NOTHING TO BUT YOURE GIVING AWAY WHAT I GAVE YOU SOMETHING THAT MADE ME HAPPY I WOULDVE LOVED BACK#YOU GAVE IT AWAY ON A WHIM AND DIDNT GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT IT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT IT TO MY FACE#BUT IM THE WHORE THAT NEVER LOVED YOU#OKAY O FUCKING K
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after taking the time to finally get comfortable enough to open up I’m going to reach out and tell them what I’ve been through how much pain I’ve been in how hard it’s been to try to keep going so this goddamn tiger will leave my island
#thats usually how it works#I’ll write a letter detailing it all and they’ll say ‘oh well no one meant for any of that to happen youre fine’ and theyll go
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#do I want to reach out/reply because I’m trying to be social again and theyre honestly kind funny people#or am I scrambling to numb this ache since I’m done with my ex again who could/would never give me the validation and true attention I crave#either way a single tear will drop from my eye as I stare into the middle distance listening to mitski
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#you could have a wrx if you believed depression exists bro#yeah its a sti bro#enjoy your delusion of stability in your axela bro
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#I’m trying to get over it#it would just be so nice if anyone cared#I used to think he was the only one who did#it wasnt true#its not
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I’m fucking done. seriously fuck, I’m tired of getting my hopes up when all I ever get is disappointment just slapped in my face. all I ever try to do is make everyone happy. when someone wants something I get it, I buy it, I will even sit there and make it myself with my own hands if need be. whenever there’s something that could be good for “us” I’m the only one putting in the work, really investing in making what little we have become better. and what do I get in return? fucking sports equipment. every. single. time. like, what did I do to make my villagers hate me why do they all have basketball tees to dispense???
#theyre not even jocks like what the hell#and dont even get me started on trying these goddamn gorgeous cherry blossom recipes
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#*both jobs offer either enough consistent work to get or a flat out check to help out*#*best boss plans a group video chat just to chill regroup talk about things and explictly reaches out to invite me*#my dumb ass: ‘is this all an elaborate scheme to shame me with kindness into being the better person we all know I could never actually be?
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“so for my timesheet can I just put in the collective time or do I need to write out each individual cry break?”
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primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….
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trying to decide if I should go to my parents house in case there really is a 3 month quarantine or stay in my apartment where I have 30 pieces of garlic bread and a shower all to myself
#covid19#this whole this is so inconvenient#I already told them Id come home after my roommate told me the 3 month thing#because I thought it would be less awkward to continue my natural isolation and avoid multiple people who can entertain themselves#instead of just one who just sits on the couch and watches me go heat up food and go straight back into my room#but y’know#maybe both are bad and I should stay here with my garlic bread and ice cream sandwiches#or maybe its time to just die like theres so many options
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y’all out here acting like you’ve never heard mgmt before
CONTROL YOURSELF.
T A K E O N L Y W H A T Y O U
N E E D F R O M I T
#mgmt#all I wanted was some bread#yall really left south st with a grand total of 2 bags of hamburger buns#4 buns per bag#I just wanted a fucking pb&j#maybe some fucking toast#there werent even bagels#WHO TOOK ALL THE FUCKING BAGELS#covid19#jesus told us ALL to partake in his bready yeasty body
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