lantxrn-of-retributxon

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Rattled and Relief Starters

“You’re shaking, I can see it. It’s okay.”

“Get away get away… get away…”

“You’re not okay, please, let me help.”

“Stop it, no. Enough. STOP!”

“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re okay.”

“I just-I’m sorry I… I didn’t mean to react that way.”

“Did I… please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

“We’re going somewhere safe.”

“No, no no no it’s all going wrong, we’re running out of time!”

“We’re gonna get through this, okay? Trust me?”

“It never really stopped… the shaking is always there…”

“Please don’t lie to me… tell me what’s wrong.”

“How about we just go somewhere quiet okay?”

“I know I’m not good at this but… I’m here.”

“You’re making it worse!”

“Why did you have to bring it up?”

“Hold onto me, you’ll be okay.”

“I want it to stop. It’s not stopping.”

“Are you doing better?”

“Don’t make me talk about it. Please don’t.”

“It’s alright… I get it, I do.”

“I’m back, like I promised.”

“Leave me alone-just leave me alone.”

“I’m coming closer, and I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder, alright?”

“You are safe. You are going to be safe.”

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Open RP

Sidonis could hear voices all around him, people were crowding him, too close, too close- Where was he? He couldn't see, everything was just white noise- Where was he? His back hit the floor, feet scuffled against the metal as he scrambled to sit up, carapace hitting the wall behind him hard. Where was he?

Not Omega. Please not Omega.

Loud footsteps all around him, a gunshot? No, too hollow, not enough reverb off the walls surrounding him, crushing him- The clink of glasses and- laughter? Not Omega then, there's no laughter on Omega. No joy. Just pain.

Sidonis took a deep breath, closing his eyes to try and quell the nausea from his swimming vison. He focused on the world around him- not Omega he reminded himself. The ding of an elevator, the humming of shuttles just outside the window above, the telltale scuttle of a Keeper as it moved its way past him. The Citadel?

Not Omega.

Sidonis repeated those words like a prayer, trying to figure out how to breath. Not Omega.

He heard footsteps approach him, closer than all the rest. His talons dug into his head as he willed his eyes to open, to see who had approached. If it was C-sec again-

Muffled words as if heard through water tried to fight their way into his ears, they didn't sound like they were spoken by an irate officer. Sidonis wanted to open his eyes but- Not Omega. He muttered it to himself a few times, not even aware he was doing so.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he managed to slowly open his eyes. He didn't dare look up, just in case the one speaking to him was one of them. "I-...Can you tell me where I am?"

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Rules/Muse/Verses

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Open RP

Sidonis could hear voices all around him, people were crowding him, too close, too close- Where was he? He couldn't see, everything was just white noise- Where was he? His back hit the floor, feet scuffled against the metal as he scrambled to sit up, carapace hitting the wall behind him hard. Where was he?

Not Omega. Please not Omega.

Loud footsteps all around him, a gunshot? No, too hollow, not enough reverb off the walls surrounding him, crushing him- The clink of glasses and- laughter? Not Omega then, there's no laughter on Omega. No joy. Just pain.

Sidonis took a deep breath, closing his eyes to try and quell the nausea from his swimming vison. He focused on the world around him- not Omega he reminded himself. The ding of an elevator, the humming of shuttles just outside the window above, the telltale scuttle of a Keeper as it moved its way past him. The Citadel?

Not Omega.

Sidonis repeated those words like a prayer, trying to figure out how to breath. Not Omega.

He heard footsteps approach him, closer than all the rest. His talons dug into his head as he willed his eyes to open, to see who had approached. If it was C-sec again-

Muffled words as if heard through water tried to fight their way into his ears, they didn't sound like they were spoken by an irate officer. Sidonis wanted to open his eyes but- Not Omega. He muttered it to himself a few times, not even aware he was doing so.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he managed to slowly open his eyes. He didn't dare look up, just in case the one speaking to him was one of them. "I-...Can you tell me where I am?"

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

With the gesture of his free hand, Sidonis summoned a wandering waitress over to their booth, ordering a whole bottle of turian whiskey this time around. He stayed quite until it was placed on the table, taking the time to drain his beer and gather his thoughts. After handing his quickly drained bottle to the waitress, Sidonis reached for the whiskey and cracked it open, the pop of the seal making him jump. His hands shook as he poured a generous amount into each glass, a few drops sloshing onto the table as they missed their mark.

He slid Garrus' glass halfway to him, almost afraid to get too close despite sitting in the same booth as him. He wanted to say that he couldn't believe Garrus had tried to kill him just a short time ago, but really he was more surprised it didn't happen sooner.

His mind involuntarily wandered, eyes glazed as he envisioned a scenario he had seen so many time from the other end of the scope. Garrus ridged, half bent over his rifle with terrifying concentration. Sidonis could never hear him breathe when he did that, even when he was right next to him. That laser focus as he tracked down his target, their head lined up in the crosshair just waiting for the right moment to pull the trigger. Sidonis saw his own face in the crosshairs this time, instead of whatever unfortunate merc had wandered into his friends sights. He should be dead, if it wasn't for Commander Shepard...He should be dead. Carapace cracked open, blood pooling-

He was torn from his sick daydream when Garrus spoke, the jolt making him spill more of his drink onto the table, the puddle now threatening to spill over the edge onto the floor. Sidonis didn't even notice, even as his sleeve became damp as it drug through the bitter liquid when he lifted his glass to take a deep drink.

"...They tortured me, Garrus." He said after a moment, his subvocals flat, completely void of emotion. There was no other way to say it really. "I...I don't think you want to hear the details." His skin itched as the phantom pains wracked his body again, as they did some nights when he lay awake, voices shouting from the void, faces staring- His face twisted in pain and grief, mandibles clacking as he tried to will the pain away. When that didn't work, he tried to numb it with more whiskey.

"I know I ran, and I'm sorry. I just- I couldn't face you after what I had done. I was a damn coward." The rage towards himself was clear in his voice, talons clenching, threatening to break the glass once again. "A goddamn coward..."

continued from here - x @lantxrn-of-retributxon​

-

Eyes heavy. This has been weighing down Garrus for months at this point. Weeks without sleep—hell, even lying to the Commander that he felt BETTER after this. But no—Garrus needed to find out what happened. What made Sidonis break? What made them give away the location, was bent to the will of the Blue Suns? If this is what the turian has to do to become focused for the suicide mission, so be it. He can’t constantly have Sidonis on his mind given the circumstances—and this may very well be the last time to could even speak to Sidonis, get everything off of his chest—have their side of the story fully explained to him at last.

“     Why not?    ”

Garrus hitches a breath, just like… old times? No. This is strictly on terms of needing to know what fucking happened to his squad. Maybe with this newfound information, Garrus may be able to truly forgive Sidonis. What scars are they hiding—how much did they torture them to make a soul as strong as his old friend’s break in half? Shatter into pieces—Garrus’ subvocals spell out distress, a pain that he can’t even describe. Can it—Garrus. Just calm down. You aren’t killing him. Revenge killing is selfish, you can’t do that. You know better.

“     What in Spirits did they do to you—to make you break? I… I should’ve immediately listened to your story as soon as possible, but you ran.     “   

Garrus knows they have regrets and remorse. Garrus knows they’re depressed, suffering every single moment of the past is biting them in the ass. Even if he wanted to kill SIdonis after hearing all of this—he can’t, he can’t let emotions take control of his actions any further. Even if he doesn’t accept what the other turian is saying—Maybe, just maybe the circumstances were dire enough that he could forgive them, just to ease the other turian’s mind before Garrus goes off to get himself killed.

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

I just put all of this in my rules, but I'm going to reiterate and pin this post so nothing is missed: Sidonis is not well. He suffers from numerous mental disorders after the events on Omega involving Archangels team. He may experience panic attacks, depressive episodes, vivid flashbacks, outbursts of anger, paranoia, etc. There will also be occasional descriptions of phantom pains, unintentional self harm, past torture etc. Please let me know if you wish to avoid any of these when writing with me and i will not mention them in my replies to you.

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Url Change

lantar-in-the-dark -> lantxrn-of-retributxon

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

"Sidonis?" Garrus asks, he's stomached even coming up to him after their.. little meeting with Shepard. But--they have to know, he wants to know why this has all happened. So that--maybe, just maybe, he can forgive them, even if pains him to do so. It doesn't help that the Suicide mission is coming up. They pause for a moment, Part of him despises Sidonis for getting the entire squad killed but--after what they said? Garrus' morbid curiosity got the best of him, he has to know what happened.

"I.. can we talk? I just--I want to know what happened that day."

After the encounter with Garrus and the esteemed Commander Shepard, Sidonis found himself in the only place that made sense; a bar. He had just settled himself in the corner, beer in hand and back to the wall when he saw his old friend enter. He did a quick assessment of his surroundings, wall to his right, no go if things went south, bar to his front with a crowd too thick to get past quickly to flee through the entrance, emergency exit to his left beyond a group of dancers, risky but the most likely if he needed to escape.

He mused for a moment, as he watched Garrus' steady approach, if he even wanted to escape. Garrus must want him dead bad if he was willing to not only defy his Commander, but also risk bringing civilians into the mix by following him here. Though as the other turian came to an uneasy stop before him, Sidonis didn't see a weapon on him. No guns, no knives, just Garrus.

Somehow that was worse.

Sidonis sat still as a stone as Garrus spoke, talons gripped tight around his bottle enough so he was afraid it might break. He listened, pit in his stomach at the others request, but Sidonis knew he owed him an explanation. If Garrus wanted to gun him down after, well he may just deserve it.

Sidonis gestures a shaky hand to the spot next to him, shifting over a bit in the booth to make room. "Do you..." He swallowed hard, throat sticking as he tried to process speaking to his friend after so long. "Do you want a drink first? You might need it..." Sidonis' voice was flat as he took a swig from his own bottle, unable to meet Garrus' eye.

@spxctrixmru

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Sentence Starters

A collection of lines from books, movies, tv shows, songs, and popular tumblr text posts.

“When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.”

“Let’s say I had to resort to… aggressive negotiations.” 

“I was lightly stabbed! Lightly!”

“You’ve never seen anything like this before? Goddamn. I thought you’ve seen everything.”

“Let me see if I understand: Neither of us know what this thing is, correct? What do you say we intentionally antagonize it to see what it can do?”

“Are you going mad? Neat! Maybe things will finally get interesting around here.”

“If you’re seeing that too, then I’m currently not hallucinating. What in God’s name is that thing, by the way?”

“Listen to me: If you continue doing that, you will die.”

“Your heart is filled with bitterness.”

“I hope you will find peace one day.”

“The solution to this and most other problems is fire. Set it on fire. Burn everything to the ground.”

“I am so tired that I could sleep for centuries and still feel exhausted when I wake.”

“Do you ever look in the mirror and start to feel unreal? Because that’s been happening to me lately. Nothing feels real.”

“I feel like I’m going to fade away someday.”

“Having a body is so strange.”

“I want to run away. I don’t know how to fix this, so I want to run and run until I can’t anymore.”

“I’m a coward. I’m a damned coward.”

“I can’t do this on my own. Please help me. Please. I promise I will repay you.”

“Not to be melodramatic but my heart aches and my soul is dying.”

“Today I explored the void. The void, as you might want to know, is not as void as some think. Anyway, enough about me. What have you done recently?”

“My friends, my comrades, my fellow saints and sinners…  Today I must inform you of a terrible thing.”

“I suggest we start a revolution.”

“There is something horrifyingly wrong with you.”

“He who dies here dies in the radiance of the future, and we are entering a tomb all flooded with the dawn.”

“Even false saints have power.”

“I found a door. A door to another world.”

“Nothing will stand against us.”

“Tell me what you’ve done.”

“They are beyond redemption, as you will be if you do this.”

“Do monsters make war, or does war make monsters?”

“Such acts rip out the soul and make space for beasts to grow inside.”

“You tell me that battling with monsters has made me a monster? Doing business with devils, what has that made you?”

“I have repented, I have been punished enough, take me home…”

“My soul is clean. I’ve never killed anyone. But you, oh you. Look at your hands.”

“Wishes are false. Hope is true. Hope makes its own magic.”

“Take all my pain away.”

“Start the Apocalypse with me.”

“Together, we are unstoppable. Nothing and no one will stand in our way.”

“You are a shining light in the darkness.”

“Oh yes, you go do that. Great idea, I’m sure you’ll be perfectly fine!”

“I will follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond.”

“Must you point that thing at me? Please put it down.”

“Think about it. Just stop for a moment.”

“My heart hurts so much I want to tear it out.”

“That’s not what I said.”

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

Manhandling symbol starters

Send one for your muse to…

★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth  ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground

Add as much or as little context as you’d like!

[lantxrn-of-retributxon]

nonverbal starters prompts featuring nonverbal scenarios.

guide take them by the hand, arm, or shoulder to guide them.

shelter protect them.

shove push them.

loop drape an arm around their shoulders.

touch a gentle touch like rubbing their back, hugging them, holding their hand. 

kiss a kiss on the cheek, knuckles, forehead, in their hair.

palm smack them upside the head.

bed rest gently push them back down when they try getting out of bed.

aid help them with a task.

note pass a note to them.

cry wipe away their tears.

wash wipe something off their forehead, cheek, so on.

bandage patch them up when they get hurt.

heal take care of them when they get sick.

book silently read a story with them. 

carry pick them up. 

scrap punch them.

cherry find blood on them.

sit help them sit down.  

medical wake up in the hospital and find them holding their hand.

steer place a hand under their chin to make them look up. 

beat dance with them.

stare stare them down. 

off track get lost with them.

no shaking their head in disagreement. 

yes nodding their head in agreement.

rush tackle them to the ground.

open hold the door open for them.