latte-studies-sometimes

[latte-studies-sometimes]

Life update: I dropped out from CA. My college sucked and I tried to be as delusional about it as I could so that I could stay sane.

My college isn't even a college, it's a CA training facility. They started from 6:30 am to 1:30 pm, including lessons and meals, and then from 3:30 to 7:30 it was a study session with a two hour break in the afternoon. The study sessions would be held within the building, and no one was allowed to study peacefully in their dorms. This sucked, because my batch was noisy and I could barely focus.

Along with these strict asf rules, we also had 4 tests for 4 different subjects every week and it was really hard. My roommates would get like 3 or 4 hours of sleep everyday just to try and pass these tests. For one month I did try my best and spend every minute I had to studies (while still getting 7 hours of sleep), but I still failed them. Eventually I got burnt out for a looong time.

Also, going there brought out all the worst stuff in me. I was going through depersonalisation and derealisation almost daily, and when it happened I self-harmed to try and cope with it. I became so materialistic that retail therapy actually felt like therapy, and before I left, I had started binge-eating. The only good thing about it was that I found friends, and even then, I was regularly left out.

Eventually I crashed out and told my parents I didn't want to continue there. After I came back home I realised I wanted nothing to with Finance as a career. So now I'm kind of taking a gap, and I'm applying for psychology instead. (My mom was so pissed at me not continuing for finance for weeks, but now she's come around somewhat).

To conclude, I didn't want to continue in a place where they literally treated us like robots. Studying like a machine made me feel so depressed.

[latte-studies-sometimes]

21/08/2024

Finished some economics notes today night.

Our facility holds a mandatory study session which is actually burning me out, because I'm more used to studying alone than with a lot of students in one room. The lights, noise, and people are overwhelming.

But today I decided I would study in our pantry from now on. The pantry is where everyone comes to eat, and a few people study there during the study sessions too. I'm also going to bring some fruit to eat there as I get hungry and I haven't been eating very healthily lately.

I'm trying to put in as many hours as I can to study without compromising on my sleep. I started studying an extra hour at night and I'm trying to study an extra hour in the afternoon.

A good thing today was that my math teacher was absent, so there were no math classes today morning and there won't be for the next few days. So I can get extra time to study if I wake up early :D

[latte-studies-sometimes]

this is going to be my year

[latte-studies-sometimes]

My IB Scores (May 2024)

English Language and Literature HL: 6/7

Business Management HL: 5/7

Economics HL: 6/7

Mathematics Applications and Interpretations SL: 6/7

French B SL: 5/7

Environmental Systems and Societies SL: 6/7

Theory of Knowledge: C

Extended Essay: C

Total TOK and EE points: 1

Total IB Score: 35/45

Diploma Awarded

[latte-studies-sometimes]

how i stay motivated every single day 💪😤

🎀 “you’re so put together!”

🔮 “you’re living my dream life!”

🧠 “i have a 4.0 gpa”

🎨 “i have so many hobbies”

🌏 “i am fluent in so many languages”

😇 “mom, dad, you don't have to work anymore”

🥺 “my daughter is a software engineer”

☀️ “i can't wait to get up every morning and live my life”

💤 “i go to bed every night feeling so proud and satisfied with myself”

🍋 write down what you want to be able to say about yourself, what you want to be able to say to others, and what you want others to say about you!

now put it somewhere you can always see and read each line to yourself every time you see it. i guarantee you will find the motivation you need! 💛

✨ add your motivating quotes in the tags/reblogs to claim your dreams and give others inspiration too!

[latte-studies-sometimes]

i've been at home for a month....doing nothing....i'm bored as hell so i've decided to start re-learning spanish. i miss doing something and seeing as i'm jobless and writing isn't going so well, this is what i'm doing now 🙂👍🏽

[latte-studies-sometimes]

13/06/2024

I've been in a rather depressive stump lately. Nothing interesting happens in my house. I have no motivation to pay attention to my online classes or even study on my own. I wake up late, loll around in my bed reading, and attend accountancy classes in the evening. If I have my online math classes, I log in, but I don't pay attention.

My mom and sister just came to India, and now I have to hear my mom tell me to study.

It's also hot here, I feel my brain getting fried.

But interesting things do happen. I started going to therapy! Something I've wanted to go to for a while. It's a bit hard for me though, I don't know what to say until my therapist asks me a question. Maybe that's how it is for everyone else too...

Another thing which happened was that I told my crush I liked her! While on a video call! I did the difficult thing! The only thing is, she hasn't said anything to me about it and acts the same. It's honestly annoying, because the reason I told her I liked her in the first place was to get closure and move on if she doesn't like me back. I can't do that if I don't know her answer.

I don't really like the feeling on having such a big crush with no answer. I'm my own person and I don't like knowing that someone else has my thoughts.

🎧: Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

📖: The Apothecary Diaries, Vol. 8 (Light Novel) - Natsu Hyūga

[latte-studies-sometimes]

I found myself in an awful situation again. Last week, I couldn't attend some of my accountancy classes because of school things and they shifted it early. And unfortunately for me, last week was the basics of accountancy. I haven't studied this before.

Right now my teacher just asked me a question and I couldn't answer truthfully so I pretended I had WiFi issues and switched off my WiFi.

Its not going to be too bad. I'm already going for another accountancy class and I m starting from scratch there. I just texted my mom to see if it was possible for me to drop this extra class because there's no point in attending it if I can't understand it.

[latte-studies-sometimes]

27/05/2024

I was travelling all day on Saturday, and it happens to be the second time I'm flying by myself. But I could go with it fine. I read Braiding Sweetgrass for the second time and enjoyed the view of Kerala from the sky. I'm attached to that book, I'm not travelling anywhere without it.

I hate insects in my house and my house at Kerala has a lot of them, but I'm warming up to it. I had a math class which I attended and I did one of the things I've wanted to try for a while: curling my hair using scarves. I hope I get pretty waves tomorrow morning!

The second picture is my dog Coco. I'll miss her so much. She was the one who pulled me out of a depressive state some years ago and looking at her always made me happy. Since I'm travelling to join college soon, I won't be seeing her until my next vacation.

I also graduated last week! Congratulations to the Class of 2024! Still nervous about the results though.

🎧: Let Go - Beau Young Prince

📖: Braiding Sweetgrass - Robin Wall Kimmerer

[latte-studies-sometimes]

MY EXAMS QRE OVER. TYE IB IS OVER RRRRAAAAAAAHHHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

FINALLY NO MORE EXAMS NO MORE IAS ILL BURN MY NOTES

[latte-studies-sometimes]

friday 10/05/24

basic logarithms! had a solid revision day, but it was super rainy!!

♫ misses - dominic fike ♫

[latte-studies-sometimes]

~Source Pinterest~

[latte-studies-sometimes]

having boundaries with yourself

➼ having a bedtime

➼ deciding the minimum and maximum amount of time you can dedicate to work each week

➼ setting limits on the amount of screen time you have

➼ having an amount of time per week you move your body

➼ limiting your alcohol/highly processed food consumption

➼ keeping a budget

➼ deciding how often you will travel or go on vacation and sticking to it

➼ going to doctors and dentist appointments regularly

➼ paying bills on time

➼ doing work (school or not) on time

➼ wearing sunscreen when you go outside

(images from pinterest)

[latte-studies-sometimes]

reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

[latte-studies-sometimes]

[latte-studies-sometimes]

08/05/2024

I studied English today. To be fair it wasn't a lot of studying. I just read the two books we're going to be tested on in Paper 2 and wrote a practise essay. If I can remember it well I can save time in the exam. I still need to revise for Paper 1.

So far I've finished Business, Math, and Ess tests. Thank goodness math and Ess went well. It's surprising because I barely studied for ess and some of the things I wrote in my essays were current affairs and stuff.

Another thing: I have developed a weird fascination for strawberries. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the colour. All I know is that I wish to be swamped with strawberry things. I wish to turn into a strawberry demigirl and live in a strawberry house with my strawberry garden.

[latte-studies-sometimes]

don't fail me on ESS

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿