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me: im gonna do some introspection

the subconscious bodyguard who prevents me from digging too deep in my feelings:

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How To Do Everything Last Minute: A Novel by me that I am going to write later

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i am no longer baby i want power

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If I ever operate a kiss cam I will exclusively point it at men who are wearing jerseys for opposing teams to try and create a romeo and Juliet situation

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social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

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unfortunately for everybody i will keep doing whatever i want

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i'm just saying, when i die in mysterious and unexplained circumstances i want you all to make sure that everybody knows it. instead of saying how i was "a friend to everyone" and that i "lit up a room" when i entered it i want people to shake their heads while muttering that i "asked too many questions for my own good" and talk about how they "warned me that i was getting in way over my head" and that i "always had a knack for finding trouble" wherever i went. if you don't make me a local urban legend you've failed me.

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me when i get a taste of my own personality thru someone else:  GOD i can not STAND them

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does anyone want to be my virtual sugardaddy and buy me things online for literally nothing in return???

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I’m such a “nah I got it” and suffer in silence type of person.

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stop glorifying people who aren’t me

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to any man who’s ever felt insecure or emasculated by a woman cuz she seemed smarter, funnier and/or cooler than him: your feelings are valid and i just want you to know that she IS smarter, funnier and cooler than you, and you are a talentless worm in her presence

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why is sharing clothes so intimate like.. bro…. are you cold… here…. borrow my sweatshirt… it smells like the brand of washing powder i use…. a little glimpse into the oddly private domesticity of my own life bro…. its still warm from where i knotted it around my waist (i dont feel the cold)… here bro… take it…