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*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

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And the world will live as one…

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ONE DAY AT A TIME STARTERS | SEASON ONE (1/13)

❝ The hipsters have discovered Porto’s. Line around the block is like the freakin’ Apple store now. ❞

❝ She’s been reading again. Why do you let her read? ❞

❝ I was 12, it was in gym and ironically, it happened in first period. ❞

❝ Someone thinks they’re worth a lot. ❞

❝ What century do you think we’re in? ❞

❝ You don’t know enough Spanish to know that I’m insulting you.  ❞

❝ By the way, what are the last 16 digits of your credit card? ❞

❝ I know we’re not rich but are we poor? ❞

❝ You really wanna go there? ‘Cause I’m holding a hammer. ❞

❝ Sounds like he really cares about you. What a dick! ❞

❝ You know. Keep it hundred. ❞

❝ I once successfully argued against gravity, so... ❞

❝ If you had something wrong with your heart, you’d take the medicine. So why wouldn’t you do the same with this? ❞

❝ Could I get a plus three? Currently in a bit of a lady-juggling situation... ❞

❝ I know you wanna be mad but that’s genius! ❞

❝ You getta get him on sharktank or something! ❞

❝ You think I like being alone? ❞

❝ Okay, they’re insane. We’re not. ❞

❝ I don’t sleep. Because he used to spoon me to sleep. ❞

❝ Sometimes you just need someone to hug you and say ‘I got you’. ❞

❝ Even the nuns would have made fun of me. ❞

❝ I hate to tell you that lots of good stuff has started for dumb man reasons.❞

❝ Life can be tough. So when you get something to celebrate, you take it.❞

❝ Oh, I’m not having children.❞ 

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Things that give me anxiety

1. Everything

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Did you buy that? I won it… after spending 40 bucks at the ring toss.

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When I think about love, I see myself someday loving a woman.

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elena alvarez aka the gay feminist icon we all need

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I have watched exactly one episode of One Day At A TIme and Elena is truly everything the world needs

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are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares 

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incredible