lazuliquetzal
lazuliquetzal
buried in the junkyard
7K posts
(she/her) occasional fanfic writer. talk to me about time travel. i love my OCs and will mock them until my dying breath. my AO3 | art blog | askbox
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lazuliquetzal · 2 hours ago
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Just saw a post that reminded me that when i was in the botanical gardens today there was a new sign with a photo of a cat and so clearly i was like oho? botanical garden mascot cat?? (mascat even) and went to see what the sign said and the sign said . See this cat? This cat is here all the time. she WILL beg you for pets. do not listen to her she is a fucking liar she will bite bite kill you. we do not own her. we do not know who owns her. if you know please fucking tell us. which is funny enough as like a sign purely because you know some botanical garden employees found this out the hard way but particularly funny because i MET THIS CAT WEEKS AGO. in the botanical gardens. she was sunning on a bench and very politely asked me for pets and was very nice for like ten minutes and then she bit me (not very hard, didn't break skin or anything) at which point i sternly told her well in that case i would not be petting her anymore and left and she followed me OUT of the gardens DOWN the street for a good bit, again shamelessly begging for pets. what an accomplished little criminal. neighborhood famous for lying and betrayal. god forbid women do anything
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lazuliquetzal · 3 hours ago
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I think a lot about how in Ice Age 1 a huge theme is the slow but unstoppable advancement of the human species as they start to threaten previously unchallenged megafauna (hunting the pack of the antagonist sabertooth and killing Manny the mammoth’s family) and then in all the sequels they just fuckin disappear
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lazuliquetzal · 14 hours ago
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coworker: hey you should come look at the results of a ph test for a customer’s water
me: I’m king of busy rn
coworker: no really just come here
the ph test:
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my honest reaction:
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lazuliquetzal · 15 hours ago
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style study ... lots of lines <3
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lazuliquetzal · 15 hours ago
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I was playing an indie game and got an achievement called "Slideshow" for having the framerate dip down below 4 FPS. I can't tell whether I admire the nerve of that or not.
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lazuliquetzal · 15 hours ago
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Ooooooooh you wanna interpret that fictional character as aromantic because there is subtext that would actually back that up and aromanticism would also add another layer to their character and would make so much more sense oooooooooooooooooh🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥
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lazuliquetzal · 16 hours ago
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this is your daily reminder to dump a glass of water out onto the ground and then eat the glass. take care of yourself please 🩵
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lazuliquetzal · 1 day ago
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being doomed by the narrative is cool and all but i like when a character is doomed just by being a fucking idiot. sorry that happened to you but it is entirely your own fault and you could have just chosen to not do all that
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lazuliquetzal · 2 days ago
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One day, in the midst of Obi-Wan’s fifteenth year of life, he woke up with the conviction that something terrible was going to happen, and the feeling never left.
He had grown used to that feeling. It had come more and more frequently over the past three years, and he had long since stopped telling people or making a big deal of it. What was he supposed to say? ‘Oh, Master, I think we’re going to be put in a near-death situation sometime next week?’. Nobody gave a shit. Magical feelings of omnipresent doom weren’t that impressive when literally everybody had them. When the doom was omnipresent. 
But this was different. This was really different. Obi-Wan wasn’t just certain that something dangerous or awful was going to happen - he felt as if there was some great catastrophe on the horizon.
First hour I've had at my computer in like five days and I have just BARELY posted it in time. This is for YOU. It is DEPRESSION.
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lazuliquetzal · 2 days ago
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Really sorry.
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lazuliquetzal · 2 days ago
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Fuck you, City of Ur!
If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!
Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!
If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!
It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!
If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!
Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!
That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!
Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!
How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!
Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!
Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!
Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!
Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!
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lazuliquetzal · 2 days ago
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lazuliquetzal · 2 days ago
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Local neglected demon baby wants noodles. Please feed him
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lazuliquetzal · 3 days ago
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Every time I remember that How to Train Your Dragon lost the Oscar for Best Original Score to The Social Network... I want throw stuff off a bridge.
Like does anyone remember that score? Comparatively, fifteen years later I can remember almost every major shift and cue in many scenes of HTTYD. Forbidden Friendship lasts over FOUR MINUTES. It's almost exclusively music and images and your eyes are glued to the screen. Test Drive is TEST DRIVE! Coming Back Around. Not so Fireproof. See You Tomorrow! ROMANTIC FLIGHT! Like these are just titles that I remember because... I do and I can tell you the tone and... ugh, This is Berk? All wonderful. All amazing.
IT DESERVED THE OSCAR! It was going to lose Best Animated Feature to Toy Story 3. I was fine with that because... Yeah, that's what was going to happen. But the Best Score Oscar should've been John Powell's.
Also, I really have no desire to see the live action. No hate to anyone who made it or wants to see it, but... I watched a scene and all I could think was... There's no weight to this? It feels LESS real than the animated in a weird way (to me). I hope others enjoy it though!
Happy Wednesday/Rant Day!
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lazuliquetzal · 3 days ago
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lazuliquetzal · 3 days ago
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Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.
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lazuliquetzal · 4 days ago
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~ The I Hate to Housekeep Book, Peg Bracken 1962
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