le-brave-des-braves - Tumblr blog

[le-brave-des-braves]

Davout, my friend, what can I say.

First, I became 23 again. I forgot about it but I admit now that my hair really looked like shit back then and everyone kept commenting on that, so I was rather pissed, you can imagine. Then, Soult got turned into a cat.

And my chief of staff became a 90 year old man and then he got turned into a giant tortoise. Me becoming a woman is still the least horrendous thing that happened.

Like… really. You are still you. Ignore what Soult says. Your brain is working. I don’t know about you but my physique is great even now. If anyone catcalls me, I will duel them.

The only thing that pisses me off so far is the ill fitting uniform and Soult. And many other things but I would be pissed regardless of what I have between legs.

@perdicinae-observer @murillo-enthusiast @your-dandy-king

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1, 2 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"I really hope that you win, Murat, because otherwise we will get a very elaborate lecture how to be proper ladies." - @le-brave-des-braves

"He's going to give us one regardless if Murat wins or not." - @perdicinae-observer

"Another round, and give it your best shot this time!" - @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult's catgirl ear twitches in the direction of Davout's comment, but her lip is already curled so unpleasantly that it's hard to say if she got even more grumpier by that comment. Her tail is swishing around angrily as well, though it pretty much hasn't stopped the entire time. Lameth squares up for round two. This time, he actually does seem to be giving it his all, and he even looks a little more focused. He's a young, fit, healthy(..?) man of age 26, and he is galvanised both by the disappointment of his boss and possibly by Saint-Chamans in the back going "ARE YOU GOING TO LET A GIRL DEFEAT YOU". Thanks, Saint-Chamans. And... he just barely forces Murat's hand down. 1-1. The only reaction from Soult is a hmmph. The reaction from the rest of the ADCs is a cheer. Saint-Chamans waves a bottle of unspecified alcohol around.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Oh merde. Murat, come on, don’t disappoint this time!

*The ginger lady turned to Davout and poured another glass of wine. She barely noticed the shadow tendril and blinked quickly. Her mind decided it was just an illusion. Nothing to worry about.*

It’s not that I will listen to Soult’s lectures anyway.

@perdicinae-observer @your-dandy-king @murillo-enthusiast

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1, 2 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"I really hope that you win, Murat, because otherwise we will get a very elaborate lecture how to be proper ladies." - @le-brave-des-braves

"He's going to give us one regardless if Murat wins or not." - @perdicinae-observer

"Another round, and give it your best shot this time!" - @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult's catgirl ear twitches in the direction of Davout's comment, but her lip is already curled so unpleasantly that it's hard to say if she got even more grumpier by that comment. Her tail is swishing around angrily as well, though it pretty much hasn't stopped the entire time. Lameth squares up for round two. This time, he actually does seem to be giving it his all, and he even looks a little more focused. He's a young, fit, healthy(..?) man of age 26, and he is galvanised both by the disappointment of his boss and possibly by Saint-Chamans in the back going "ARE YOU GOING TO LET A GIRL DEFEAT YOU". Thanks, Saint-Chamans. And... he just barely forces Murat's hand down. 1-1. The only reaction from Soult is a hmmph. The reaction from the rest of the ADCs is a cheer. Saint-Chamans waves a bottle of unspecified alcohol around.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Here, have some wine.

She poured them both a glass of wine. She really hopes Murat wins, but on the other hand… Murat seems strong. Lameth is not a weakling, but he just really wants Soult to shut up.

I really hope that you win, Murat, because otherwise we will get a very elaborate lecture how to be proper ladies.

@perdicinae-observer @murillo-enthusiast @your-dandy-king

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"Let’s say that we would like to find out what is happening to us, and maybe how to prevent it. But you seem to be certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you?" — @le-brave-des-braves

"Prevent this? Why would I want to prevent this? I look incredible! I never realized all the options women had until now!" — @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult has had enough. Her hair and tail are bristling and her hands are clenched.

Options?! Where the devil has all propriety gone?

You, Murat, appear to be satisfied with a licentious retirement with even more shameless parading of lovers and husbands than I had ever thought was possible. It is no wonder that you embrace such nonsensical changes, given how determined you are to make a fool of yourself.

And you, Ney, of course you do not care about how you look. But some of us live in a world where more than brute force and brute strength matters. Some of us live in a world- an afterlife where we are still beholden to duty and standards.

A commander must command respect, not only from his own heart but from his men.

How can I command respect like this?!

Petiet: We still respect you boss..!

[le-brave-des-braves]

Go on, Your Majesty.

*she ordered some wine and she is smirking. Suck that Soult*

Are we placing bets, Davout?

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"Let’s say that we would like to find out what is happening to us, and maybe how to prevent it. But you seem to be certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you?" — @le-brave-des-braves

"Prevent this? Why would I want to prevent this? I look incredible! I never realized all the options women had until now!" — @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult has had enough. Her hair and tail are bristling and her hands are clenched.

Options?! Where the devil has all propriety gone?

You, Murat, appear to be satisfied with a licentious retirement with even more shameless parading of lovers and husbands than I had ever thought was possible. It is no wonder that you embrace such nonsensical changes, given how determined you are to make a fool of yourself.

And you, Ney, of course you do not care about how you look. But some of us live in a world where more than brute force and brute strength matters. Some of us live in a world- an afterlife where we are still beholden to duty and standards.

A commander must command respect, not only from his own heart but from his men.

How can I command respect like this?!

Petiet: We still respect you boss..!

[le-brave-des-braves]

How did the intimate conversation between Levavasseur and the beautiful princess end? I'm intrigued

Levavasseur: it was the best day in my entire life. But I would love the Marshal with all my heart in his male form as well. Some things are just a bit easier now.

Heymes: Please spare us the details. I beg you.

Levavasseur: he…she was just so happy. So relaxed. I…

Heymes: ENOUGH. Go help Jomini with his paperwork.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Not at all, @perdicinae-observer… oh. Mon ami, you too? Come and take a seat, it is just getting interesting.

Dalmatia thinks his… her brain was stored in the balls we currently don’t have. Murat thinks it is a nonsense and so do I.

<< @your-dandy-king @murillo-enthusiast >>

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"Let’s say that we would like to find out what is happening to us, and maybe how to prevent it. But you seem to be certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you?" — @le-brave-des-braves

"Prevent this? Why would I want to prevent this? I look incredible! I never realized all the options women had until now!" — @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult has had enough. Her hair and tail are bristling and her hands are clenched.

Options?! Where the devil has all propriety gone?

You, Murat, appear to be satisfied with a licentious retirement with even more shameless parading of lovers and husbands than I had ever thought was possible. It is no wonder that you embrace such nonsensical changes, given how determined you are to make a fool of yourself.

And you, Ney, of course you do not care about how you look. But some of us live in a world where more than brute force and brute strength matters. Some of us live in a world- an afterlife where we are still beholden to duty and standards.

A commander must command respect, not only from his own heart but from his men.

How can I command respect like this?!

Petiet: We still respect you boss..!

[le-brave-des-braves]

Don’t.

*she quickly slapped her hand and pulled back*

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

I didn’t need to know that much about your private life either, ugh. Also, according to the movie it like… really sucked. How could you even keep so many mistresses if you were like that.

I can’t also recall you being, uh, 50… like the whole time. And that man playing you has charisma of a carriage drowning in a bog. I wouldn’t follow that man anywhere.

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

What was the thing with beard that was supposed to be me? Why did you seem incompetent the whole time?

You would never order a fucking artillery attack on the frozen lake in Austerlitz. Also, I was in Elchingen back then but I thought Austerlitz wasn’t in the middle of Alps!

Also, that is not how you do cavalry charges. If you ride so fast from the beginning, you will inherently exhaust the horse, for the fuck sake! It is a basic knowledge any half illiterate sergeant should know!

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

*Ney’s chest is laced tightly in the outdated 18th century stays, so it’s even harder impact*

Enjoying the view, aren’t we.

*She commented as she pushed her opponent away*

I just want you to know: the war is over. The Empire is over. But France is still standing and that is what matters. We are dead. I did things I’m not proud of. But now it is my turn to try to do anything about it. To care for those fallen under my command. Well. Under your command.

As for you… There are people recreating your victories. There are thousands of places named after you. Isn’t that enough? Nobody gives a shit about that motion picture.

I don’t like you and I never will, but that thing is of pure evil.

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

I know that brute force is not always a solution, but we are military men, and I would say it is still important part of the job, you know. I never had any issues with my men respecting me.

*She shrugged*

If turning into a woman is enough for you to lose respect, then the issue is somewhere else. Although I wish you that your new… uh, appendages go away soon.

*She is mercifully not mentioning the cat incident*

Iɴᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟɪsᴇᴅ Cᴀᴛɢɪʀʟ Mɪsᴏɢʏɴʏ

previous ( 1 )

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

"Let’s say that we would like to find out what is happening to us, and maybe how to prevent it. But you seem to be certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you?" — @le-brave-des-braves

"Prevent this? Why would I want to prevent this? I look incredible! I never realized all the options women had until now!" — @your-dandy-king

·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Soult has had enough. Her hair and tail are bristling and her hands are clenched.

Options?! Where the devil has all propriety gone?

You, Murat, appear to be satisfied with a licentious retirement with even more shameless parading of lovers and husbands than I had ever thought was possible. It is no wonder that you embrace such nonsensical changes, given how determined you are to make a fool of yourself.

And you, Ney, of course you do not care about how you look. But some of us live in a world where more than brute force and brute strength matters. Some of us live in a world- an afterlife where we are still beholden to duty and standards.

A commander must command respect, not only from his own heart but from his men.

How can I command respect like this?!

Petiet: We still respect you boss..!

[le-brave-des-braves]

All right. En garde!

*Ney had always a skilled swordsman. And apparently, even as a woman she’s far stronger than the tiny thing in oversized uniform*

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

According to the rules, the weapon is your choice. Swords or guns?

Maybe this is a bad idea. She is so small.

Or we wait until we are both men again

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Riding…What… Now THAT is a SLANDER!

I should duel you now.

*She approaches Napoleon’s tiny form, while taking off one of her gloves.*

it’s not that any of us can die.

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

*she laughed, but there was hardly anything pleasant about it* I have concept of loyalty. My loyalty is and was to France, not to you, although I used to firmly believe in your best intentions. And I have learned that all you ever cared for is the greater good for yourself.

Isn’t the army as competent as its commander? Have you ever faced Wellington before? No. He knows what he is doing and he is very good at it, that’s the facts. You are blaming everyone around you for your fucking mistakes because you never did anything wrong, right?

Because that is how you operate - if it goes well, it’s your victory. If it goes wrong, it’s everyone else’s fault. Honestly, screw you and your everlasting lack of self awareness.

I agree with you on one thing - I already challenged Scott for duel but the coward didn’t accept. Even YOU didn’t deserve this.

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Greetings, Marshal,

I am glad to inform you that the grievous injuries sustained by general Duroc have started to heal, in one of the strange ways this afterlife seems to bring. He is still recovering and in no shape to be visited, but the situation is now far from its original hopeless-seeming state.

I think it is important for good news to travel fast 🙂

Thank you for the good news. Poor Duroc deserved better and I’m glad he is healing.

[le-brave-des-braves]

Look, so did I.

There were days I admired you and I followed you to hell and back and yes, I mean the Russian campaign which was your idea and it costed us terrible price. The army was decimated and you just ran away in your carriage.

Then, Leipzig. You got your peace offer and it was not a bad one - you could have kept your rule and the lands except for German countries. And yet you refused, with the vision of grandeur so typical for you. You pulled France in more devastating wars and that was when I just couldn’t watch it.

And then you returned and yes, I was thinking - maybe you were the best France could have. The soldiers welcomed you with open arms and so I gave your stupid ass another chance and all I have received was a distrust, chaos, corps where I didn’t even KNOW the commanding officers and there we go. Quatre Bras, Waterloo.

You were too busy with your political correspondence and assuring us Wellington was no big deal and that we WOULD win. Well, there we go. By the way, you were there when I ordered the cavalry charge and you approved of it.

I followed you through bloodbath and I paid for it!

*she rose swiftly, unable to hold her rage anymore. The light flickered and suddenly, Napoleon can see eleven markings on now ghastly woman’s body. Eleven shot wounds.*

And now I learned that you blamed the defeat on me, effectively ruining my reputation when I couldn’t even defend myself?

Well. I’m done with you. I’m fucking DEAD and so are you. We have no wars to be won although you still hold on to the illusion of power even around here. Now look at you and your new physique. At all the letters you wish you didn’t open. Are you in control? I don’t think so. Nobody is.

So, an ideal place for petty revenge. Because you know what? It makes me feel GOOD and even ALIVE.

Is it pathetic? To you maybe. But I don’t give a fuck what you think. Not anymore.

So. That’s why. I’m not coming back to you. Ever.

A short woman practically buried in a gray coat approaches. She has a cute enough face bug her body is a stick. She is trying to sound intimidating but with her squeaky voice it’s nearly impossible

Greetings Marshal

- @alexanderfanboy (Napoleon)

Your Majesty.

*Ney bowed in the male way. Although Ney was never significantly taller than the emperor, now it feels she is towering over the petite woman Napoleon became. She is feeling on edge, as this is the second time she is facing the Emperor… uh, Empress and going against her. And this time, she won’t fuck up*

Please, take a seat. We have a lot to discuss.