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It's been a while since I've posted.
I started this blog as an assignment for school.
School has ended.
I wanted to enjoy my time off. I had been going to school for almost 6 years while I worked full-time for the entire duration.
I get married in 8 months. Right now, I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy the anticipation of my wedding. I have so many exciting things to look forward to this year; my bridal shower, my bachelorette, my wedding and my 30th birthday.
My anxiety has been at an all-time high. Everything is expensive. Weddings in New Jersey are extremely expensive. Planning is fun until you feel like you can't breathe.
This is my own personal reminder that it's okay to take help from other people who offer. It's okay to be anxious. However, you can't let your anxiety get in the way of enjoying life.
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You only have one life to live. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live it. When you look back, you will always regret the things you didn’t do because you listened to other people. Feeling like you didn’t do things because of other people is worst than making a mistake doing the things you wanted to do. Live YOUR life.
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It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
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I still sometimes cringe when my I see my body in the mirror. I try to remind myself of how far I've come. I received proofs of my graduation photos and part of me doesn't even want to entertain the thought of ordering them because my double chin is so prominent.
But what an achievement graduation is! I should remind myself to be proud of myself for getting my bachelor's degree while working full time. I went to school full time. I did it all on my own. Cum Laude too.
So although my image isn't what I hoped it would be, it's still me. I still did that. I should be proud of it. My double chin shouldn't ruin this moment for me.
Neither should my belly.
Neither should my stretch marks.
Neither should my body hair.
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All information is from forgetbeauty.com - none of it is my original wording, just my infographic
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My dogs give me purpose
I never understood the millennial dog-mom craze until I got my first puppy, Ginger. I loved animals but didn't understand how someone can love them like they love their own children. It's certainly not quite the same, but Ginger changed my life for the better.
Ginger was a mischievous puppy. She ate my future mother-in-law's nativity set, she would rip up corners of the carpet and she even ate her door frame at one point. Sometimes, I wanted to rip my hair out.
Fast forward five years and I have her tattooed on my body. She is a fantastic dog and I really don't want to have to live life without her. She is quirky. She's a cat trapped in a dog's body.
She's also taught me the purpose of a routine. She encourages me to go on long walks because it's not just for my health, it's for hers too. She makes me play with her even though I feel like laying out on the couch. She taught me a love I didn't know I was capable of.
Recently, I came across a Facebook post where I saw someone was giving up a dog. He was the same kind of dog as Ginger; A Shiba Inu. I wanted to get her a companion because she is alone while the both of us work all day. We took him home three weeks ago.
We named him Hiro (pronounced Hero). He is the perfect fit for our family. He is endlessly happy and so good about going out. He encourages Ginger to play more than she normally would. He adores her.
He's a rambunctious puppy. He's eaten his fair share of slippers and remote controls these past few weeks but I wouldn't trade him for the world. They both bring me plenty of joy and structure. It helps me stay on a schedule even when I don't want to do anything.
(Hiro on left, Ginger on right)
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Your pleasure in existence matters. You deserve little comforts that make the mundane pleasurable. Play your favorite songs loud and jam out to them as you clean your house. Light your favorite candle while you do your homework. Even as you experience the things you MUST do, be sure to make space for the things that you ENJOY doing. You deserve to enjoy being alive!
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learning to stop hating yourself isn’t something that happens overnight.
it’s a series of negotiations you make with yourself over your whole life. it’s making one less self-deprecating joke. it’s looking at yourself in the mirror with a little more generosity. it’s forgiving yourself for that little mistake.
it’s not one thing and then you’re good. it’s many small choices you can make that slowly make your brain and body a little less uncomfortable to live with
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