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leclucklerc · 3 months

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Against the World SO17 - Prologue

Pairings: Shohei Ohtani x Reader

Summary: Y/n and Shohei's journey started in high school. A place where the both of them found themselves thrusted into the spotlight without warning.

Word count: 2.8k

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Her friends told her that their relationship work was because how busy they are.

It’s because the both of them are really successful in their own respectful field. That the both of them are both really dedicated to their own craft and realized that time and effort is essential to keep improving themselves. That both love their works so much, making them both really busy and in the end-

Their relationship works because of that.

They met in high school.

Y/n likes to think that it’s fate, their meeting that is.

L/n Y/n was born from a Japanese mother and an American father. She doesn’t know much of her dad, considering he left her mom when he realized she was pregnant with his child. Y/n doesn’t really care. It’s not hard to forget a man that had never been in your life to begin with.

The same thing couldn’t be said to her mother.

After all, the woman had been heartbroken. She had given her heart, her young adult years, her dedication, for a man that decided that she’s not worth it. She had given him everything, only to be left with a child that he doesn’t want.

Maybe that’s the start of her resentment towards the man that had never been there. To see the woman that had raised and loved her staring longingly at the only picture that she has of the man. To see the woman closed her heart tightly. Never letting anyone to enter anymore.

To see the woman who had been so strong to raised her as a single mother in the midst of the Japanese society that had never looked her situation favorably.

Born and raised in Iwate, Japan, Y/n thought that she will grew up in this small city forever. She never really has an ambitious or big dreams to chase. From the start, she’s content with her life. A loving mother, a comfortable house, and friends to play with.

That is, until she was scouted as an idol during her first year of middle school.

If she must be honest, she had never really had an interest to become an idol. Nor had she put much thought when she said yes to the guy that scout her. It was a spur of a moment thing, where Y/n doesn’t really have much going on about her life.

The idol industry in Japan started young after all. Much younger than any other idol industries all around the world. She figured there’s no harm in trying and if in the end she doesn’t really like it, she can just quit considering that she still have her whole life before her.

She really didn’t expect the world of glitz and glamour. The kind of world that she’s not familiar with where she’s nothing more than an object to be idolized by someone. Where she has to put up a smile 24/7 on her face as she dance and sing in front of a crowd of people that really should be doing something better than obsessing a 13 year old girl.

Though alas, Y/n fell in love with the stage.

The bright light, the light that shone upon her, and the screams of adoring fans. The way her voice resonated across the air as she captured every pair of eyes, all of them focusing on her. All of them, putting all their attention to her.

For a girl that always craved love and validation all her life – an absentee father and a mother that is too busy - It really doesn’t take her long before she starts to love all of those. To start loving that aspect of being an idol and her life.

The stage is her first love. It’s something that will never fail to bring out a smile across her face. Something, that she could see doing years onwards.

But of course, life is not that perfect. What with her debuting under a small company amidst the already packed idol scene in Japan, it doesn’t take long for the company to put her into a hiatus. A hiatus is the fancy term, considering the company is basically trying to find an investor that’s crazy enough to invest their money on the not famous idol Y/n .��

And well, no one wants to.

Her latest album sales are less than 1000. The same thing could be said to her most recent fan meeting where almost no one showed up. Her company too realized the failing potential of her idol career, that’s why they’re putting her in the so-called hiatus.

Her dorm room was taken too, considering how tight money is. Not wanting her to live on the company practice room or even the streets, Y/n was sent home back to Iwate.

Compared to Tokyo, Iwate is a quiet town. It’s the town where she was born and spent her childhood in and yet, it feels almost unfamiliar. She’s not used to the dark streets without the colorful billboards and various advertisements. She’s not used to the mountain scenery without any tall building disrupting her sight.

She’s not used to this.

This uncertain future of hers. These signs that keep on showing. Showing her that it's time for her to give up on her hopeless dream. That there's no way she can succeed as a celebrity and capture the heart of many.

"I don't want to go to school," she had said to her mother, finger playing with the food in front of her. "So many people knows that I left Iwate for Tokyo to become an idol... if I went back now people will laugh at me."

"And what?" asked her mother, voice a bit firm. "Leave your education?"

Y/n went quiet at that.

She knows that her already doomed future will become more doomed if she choose to leave her higher education without a good reason. A university graduate could hardly get a decent job after all. What can a high school drop out do?

"You finish your school," said her mother again. "Finish high school at least. We can talk about university later."

The start of her high school life is bleaker than ever.

Her earliest memory is of her and her mother watching a baseball game late at night.

She remembered being excited, considering for the first time ever her mother had let her to stay up way passed her bedtime. Her mother had told her earlier, with a pretty and yet secretive smile, that she has something to show her.

Y/n is excited. Practically bouncing at her feet as she stared at the bright television screen in front of her. There’s a baseball game in front of her. Of the cheering crowds and the colors of the teams splattered across the screen.

“Y/n-chan,” breathed out her mother, also entranced as her arm wrapped around the younger’s smaller girl. “Baby, look,” she said as she pointed towards one of the man who was walking to the field, bat in hand. “That’s your dad.”

Dad, is a foreign concept for the young girl.

She had never met her dad before, and yet, her mother had told her countless of stories about the man. Y/n practically knows almost nothing about the man and yet at the same time, she knows everything to know about regarding the man.

The man on the screen has a small frown on his face as he went into his batting position. His mother let out an entranced gasp as the crowd started to grow wild when the pitcher too, went on about his pitching motion. And without further ado, the crowd went absolutely wild when the man hit off a homerun almost immediatelt.

“Oh my god!” yelled the older woman, practically hugging Y/n. “Oh my god!”

Y/n blinked. “What’s going on?” asked the girl, turning her head towards the older woman. “Is it a good thing?”

“It is baby!” exclaimed the woman as she smothered plenty of kisses on y/n’s face. “Your father had just won the world series!”

That was the first time she ever heard about the world series and her early introduction to baseball. At first, she was excited. After all, who won’t be after discovering that your father is a world famous baseball player? That your father is just someone so cool?

And then she realized why she never see her father.

Y/n was nine when she watched an interview that her father did. An interview that he did with his family. His family that’s not y/n and her mom.

She watched as the little girl around her age sat on her father’s lap, smiling widely with a pretty dress that y/n wished she could own. She watched as the woman besides her father laughed, hand looped around the man arm as the woman who’s definitely not her mom gave her father a small peck on his cheek.

She watched this picture perfect little family laughed and joke inside her screen.

It made her felt a bit empty. She had asked her mother countless of time why they never sees her father. Something that the older woman had never answered directly. It was always a “we’ll see him soon,” or “he’s a really busy man.”

Well, now she knows why she never sees her dad.

Her relationship with baseball grows a bit complicated at that.

To be precise, she really doesn’t have any personal vendetta towards the sport. Though, being reminded about your absent father every time she see the sport is an unpleasant feeling. To know that your father doesn’t care about you or your mom every time she sees someone playing baseball is something that she hates.

Growing up trying to avoid baseball in a country like Japan is a hard thing. Baseball is a national sport here so encountering the sport on a daily basis is not something uncommon.

Y/n hates it. She hates the fact that her father made her hates baseball. She hates the fact that her father cheats on his own wife. She hates the fact that her father doesn’t care about her or her mom. She hates the fact that baseball reminds her of her useless existence. That y/n is an unwanted child born out of wedlock.

She hates it so so much.

Though, as she stared at her new high school, she started to question many things.

“Why did I choose this school…” she muttered as she saw the large banner being displayed in front of the school building. A banner that’s congratulating the school baseball team on entering Koshien.

Turns out, her new high school, the Hanamaki Higashi High School, is a school famous for their baseball team.

Y/n really does have a rotten luck.

"Didn't you go to Tokyo to become famous?" asked the girl in front of her.

Y/n let out an awkward laugh. "I'm on a hiatus," she said. "I want to pursue my education first before continuing my career," continue the girl, lying boldly.

The girl laughed at that. "Well it's great to have you back!" she said. "Can't believe we have a celebrity on our midst!"

Said girl let out an awkward laugh at that. The opening ceremony had just began and there's countless of eyes on her. She should've been used to this, all the prodding and curious stare that's being directed towards her way.

And yet, she can't help but hate the feeling.

She could almost feel all the judging look and the raised eyebrow. She doesn't know how many of them would belief her lie of deciding to pursue her education over her career but she hates it nonetheless.

Y/n wants to hide.

She first met him as they were assigned to sit together.

Before then, she had known who Shohei Ohtani is, considering his hulking height. The teen had stood out like a sore thumb during the new student orientation, towering every single student. Ema, who is considered tall in a Japanese standard, had to crane her head up to see his face.

Besides that, Y/n too, had heard the whispers about him.

Apparently, Ohtani-san is a really good baseball player. Like, really good. During his middle school days, it seems that he had set some kind of record that made many famous baseballs school wants to recruit him. The reason why Ohtani-san chose their school? Who knows. All they know is that the baseball club head coach had jumped in joy when he realized the potential that Ohtani-san has. While of course their school too boast an amazing baseball program, it can’t be compared to those from a big city like Tokyo or Hokkaido.

All in all, Y/n impression on his is that Ohtani-san is a really quiet guy.

While Ema is all about cheerful greetings and wide smile, Ohtani-san is all about prolonged silence and deep gaze. If the both of them are colors, Y/n would be a bright yellow while Ohtani-san will be a drab grey. Not too bright, and yet, he’s not that closed off from those around him.

Admittedly, they didn’t talk much. Y/n had tried to talk to him, several times in fact, but the answer had always been short and clipped. During class too, he had only ever passively followed along the lesson. Never tried to answer an open question or be the one to come in front to answer a problem.

The only time she had ever see him alive is when he’s playing baseball.

When the bell rings, Ohtani-san would be brightened considerably as he almost immediately shot past the door with his bag. Once, she had asked one of the baseball club members about it.

“He’s always been the first one on the field,” answer one of them. “And the last one to leave.”

Y/n hummed at that answer.

She had thought their relationship will always be like that. The amicable seatmates that don’t really talk much with each other but didn’t bother each other as well. That is, until the next seat rotation at the end of the semester.

“Oh,” said Y/n, arriving at her designated seat. “Ohtani-san, we’re together again,” she said with a smile.

Ohtani-san looked up from his phone screen before he’s scrambling to hide it from her point of view. He looked a bit embarrassed at that. “L/n-san,” he answered after managing to gather his bearings for a bit. “Yes, um…”

He trailed off at that, seemingly unsure on what to response. Y/n doesn’t really mind as she took her seat. The girl gave the male a polite smile before she reached out for her bag, taking a fashion magazine that she had brought today.

There’s a casting for this clothing brand model… Maybe Y/n could try that?

“-San,”

Or maybe should she audition as a voice actor? But she thinks it will be hard to transition back to a singer if she does that.

“-n-san,”

She really doesn’t want to give up her dream to become a celebrity though. Should she try online auditions? Like in South Korea or-

“L/n-san,” called out Ohtani-san, catching her attention. They had been sitting silently for almost 10 minutes at this point, waiting for the morning bell to ring. Y/n never thought that the baseball player will strike up a conversation with her.

“Hm?” she answered with a smile on her face, a bit distracted, looking away from the magazine in front of her. “What’s up?”

He looks hesitant at first, opening and closing his mouth afterwards before he thrusted his phone towards her. It’s a recording of a baseball game.

“I… I was watching a game last night,” he started before pressing the video to play. In it, someone is doing the first pitch. “I was wondering if this was… really you?”

She stared at the phone screen in front of her. Dark eyes staring at the girl who’s doing the ceremonial first pitch with her long dark hair half hidden with the team’s cap.

It’s her. Y/n knows it’s her.

After all, that instance had been one of the highest peaks of her career. One of the baseball teams, the tigers, had asked her to throw the first pitch on one of their home games. Truthfully, considering her popularity, the only reason that she had gotten that gig was because the general manager of the team is her company’s ceo cousin. Back then, when it was her that’s going to throw the first pitch, no one knows who Suzuki Y/n was.

The cheers were minimal, but Y/n doesn’t really care. After all, it’s an honor for her to do that.

No matter how her feeling is towards baseball – or, like, MLB – baseball is, the number one sport in Japan. For a failed celebrity like Y/n, to be able to throw the first pitch in one of the first-class team league in Japan is a sign of success.

Considering how much of a baseball geek Ohtani-san is, she really should’ve expected him to realize her job.

Answering him, she let out a large grin. “Yeah, it’s me,” she answered, leaning forward towards the desk. “Really cool right?”

Ohtani-san flushed before he nodded his head. “… Yeah,” he let out. “I didn’t know you’re… famous.”

“Not many knows that” she let out a chuckle. “I’m a bit of a failed idol, you know.”

The other teen furrowed his brows. “That can’t be it,” he said, tilting his head. “You did the first pitch for the Tigers.”

“Eh, it’s all about nepotism, Ohtani-san.”

He still doesn’t look unconvinced.

“… I searched for your videos,” said the baseball player after a while. “Last night, to make sure that it’s really you.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow at that. “You did?”

Ohtani-san nodded his head. “Yeah,” he let out before showing his phone screen towards her. It was one of her music video. The most recent one actually. “And, um… you were amazing. I really thought that you’re a famous star when I watched you perform.”

That- that warms here. Unexpectedly.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes," replied the male without missing a beat. "I thought that it's amazing that you can perform like that despite so many eyes staring at you! I- um, I'm a nervous person naturally... so I really won't know what I should do if I were on your position."

She had heard people praises her performance many times. That if only she didn’t debut under such a small company, she would’ve been a star in the industry. Usually, she would’ve responded those praises with her automatic smile. Thanking them for the praise before humbling herself down.

Usually, such praise won’t make her heart skipped a beat.

Maybe it’s the sincere look on his eyes, or how he sounds as If he’s utterly convinced at that statement. She doesn’t really know. All she knows that simple praise opens up the gate of friendship between the two of them.

“Thank you,” she said, letting out a huge smile. “That really means a lot.”

Ohtani-san let out a smile at that too.

"Though, don't you have many people watching your baseball games?" asked the girl.

The male's cheeks warmed a bit at that. "Uh- um... if it's during games I would be too focused at the game itself so I won't notice anything besides it."

"I see," said the female. “So, who’s your favorite player at the tigers cause I got a lot of autographs from them-“

After that, Ohtani-san became Ohtani-kun. And Ohtani-kun, became simply Shohei.

#shohei ohtani imagines #Shohei Ohtani fanfic #Shohei Ohtani Fanfiction #Ohtani Fanfic #Ohtani Fanfiction #Shohei fanfic #Shohei fanfiction #Shohei Ohtani fic #Shohei ohtani fluff #Mlb fanfic #Baseball fanfic #Baseball fic

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leclucklerc · 4 months

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I know it says one shot for a fools flower but is there a part 2?? The ending made me sad😭 she needs to move on 🥲 it’s fine if there’s no part 2. Just wondering lol

JASHSG their relationship is toxic but y/n just refused to see it lol. And I don’t think I will make part 2? But it really depends though! If I have some kind of new plot that I want to explore for a fools flowers I probably will write it down.

Though, so far, I don’t have any plan to continue the story. I like their messy relationship and the open ending hahah 😅

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leclucklerc · 4 months

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A Fool's Flowers MV1 - Oneshot

Pairings: Max Verstappen x reader

Summary: She's a fool in love. Too in love and way too enraptured in her own romantic delusion to see the signs.

Words: 6.2K

Materlist

“So, university in Monaco,” started your mom. “You really didn’t meet anyone during your time there?”

Y/n laughed, tone light and airy as you continue to mix the cake powder on her hand. “I met many people you know,” she said, a bit teasing. “Many friends, many acquaintances.”

She hoped the woman doesn’t realize the tensioning of her shoulder. Or how her words waver a bit at the start. She hopes, she doesn’t realize the obvious sign of nervousness and fear that started to creep into her throat.

Slowly but surely. As if, it’s going to chock her silent.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” replied the older woman as she raised her eyebrow. Her hands still busy with the batter in front of her. Kneading it firmly.

“Why?” asked the younger, a bit teasing. “A bit sudden don’t you think?”

Truthfully, this question had been something that she dreaded to hear when she decided to move back to her parents house after her short stint in Monaco. That her mother – who’s lately been wanting more grandkids after seeing her older sister second child – will surely notice that there’s something wrong with her.

The older woman huffed. “Well, I just can’t wait for you to bring home a boy,” she replied wistfully. “How about one of your guy friends? Max? he seems cute.”

It was such a sudden name drop that you immediately froze on spot. Brain going thousands kilometrets an hour to process that statement.

“Max?” you said, a bit shaky and hoped your mom didn’t catch it. “No, we’re just friends.”

“You never talked about him anymore,” prodeed her mom. “You used to go on and on about Max this and Max that. Though you’ve been surprisingly silent about him lately.”

Ah, she thought. How to put his delicately.

“We’re fighting, currently,” she managed to say. “Nothing serious.”

“Hmm..” hummed the woman. “The both of you look cute, I think.”

Yes, she wants to reply.

Yes, they look cute together.

Attending a university in Monaco had never been in y/n’s plan.

Maybe it’s because she had grown up in a big city all her life, making her childhood home pretty accessible to many universities without her needing to even move out. Maybe it’s because she had lived her life here, all of her family and friends resided in the residential area around her house.

Maybe it’s just for the simple fact that y/n doesn’t want anything to change. Too afraid to disturb this comfortable rhythm that she called her life.

Though everything changed when she visited Monaco for the first time.

There’s just something different about the small country. The beautiful streets and the warm feeling that the country exudes. The flowers that bloom on the side of the street and the busy shore full of yachts and private party. The close-knit community that blended perfectly with the wealthy extravaganza that the country is known for.

It was something that y/n had never seen before.

It was something, that made y/n fell in love with the country.

She throws all of her plan sideways and decided to attend a university there. Her parents had objected, of course, considering she used to plan to go to Oxford or other reputable universities all around the world. But y/n had always been a bit too headstrong. A bit too caught up in her own want and needs.

It really was not long before she began packing and her life in Monaco starts.

The change of scenery is a good thing for her. She started meeting more and more people. She began opening her heart, letting more and more people inside of her orbit.

She never thought that making friends and spening time with them could be so enjoyable. After all, as an introverted at heart, she was used to have a small friend circle. But there’s must be something in Monaco’s air. Something that made her a bit wild and uncontrollable. Something that made her want to live her life unlike before.

The nightlife in Monaco is always bustling.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that majority of the country consisted of too rich person with too many time on their hand. Maybe it’s due to the fact that the casinos are open all night. Or maybe it’s just for the simple fact that people in Monaco can enjoy their nightlife better than any other countries.

Whatever the reason is, y/n always enjoy her trip to the club with her friends.

Tonight, was such night. One of her friends had just gone through a terrible breakup, making their whole friend group mission to be absolutely hammered at the club.

Y/n knows she was pretty. She knows that there are couple of guys that wants to talk to her every time she went to a club. Tonight though-

“He’s staring at you,” murmured her friend, a teasing grin already on her lips as she gulped down from her glass. “Ever since you arrived here.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Which one?” asked y/n, discreetly looking around.

“The cute one,” said her friend as she nudged her chin softly towards one corner of the club. “Blond, blue eyes, white shirt.”

It took y/n a couple of second to locate the man that her friend mentioned. Though, the moment, she saw him, she felt her world stopped for a bit.

Tall, blond, blue eyes. A cute face and a nice body.

Her type.

“You are sure he’s been staring at me?” she whispered out, averting her gaze once again to not make it to obvioys that she’s been ogling him. “He’s cute.”

“I know,” giggled her friend. “Definitely your type.”

Y/n was about to answer when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey,”

She turned, eyes meeting blue ones. Oh, she thought, a bit dazed. It’s the cute guy.

The lighting at the club is a bit dim and the music is so loud that it hurts her heart a bit. Though she swears when the man let out a huge grin, her world cleared up a bit. It was as if the both of them are not in the middle of a loud and bustling club. It was as if that they’re not standing in the midst of sweaty and drunk bodies.

It was as if, this meeting had been decided by fate.

“I’m Max,” he said, smile almost blinding.

Y/n felt tongue tied as she stared at him.

She really can’t suppress the smile blooming on her face too. “Y/n” replied the girl. “Nice to meet you too.”

“Really?” pressed on her mother once again. “No cute boys that gives you flower or anything?”

Y/n laughed at that. “Who still gives flower now? That’s so old school mom!”

Y/n stared at the bouquet of flowers in front of her.

The grin that appeared on her face must’ve looked a bit silly and dumb. Though, she doesn’t seem to mind.

“You brought me flowers,” she breathed out, taking the bouquet from the man in front of her.

“I did,” replied Max. “I didn’t know what your favorite flowers are, but I hope you like this.”

It’s roses. A classic and safe choice for a first date. And yet, Y/n found herself liking it way too much.

“I love it,” she said, marveling the flowers with a large smile. “You’re a gentleman aren’t you?”

Max laughed at that, hand curling around her waist as he guided her outside of her apartment. “I try,” he said. “Though with how beautiful you look tonight, I don’t think I can.”

It’s such a cheesy thing to say that it made her broke out into a laugh. “I don’t give kisses in first dates, Verstappen,” she said, cradling the flower close to her chest. “It’s my dating policy.”

The man hummed at that. “Well, there’s a first for everything I guess?”

“Unbelievable,” she giggled. “The date should be exceptional then.”

Their first date was exceptional indeed.

Max seemed to have done some research because everything about their first date had been perfect. From the dinner that they shared to the walk that they did across Monaco’s harbor. Everything about that night had been so unbelievably romantic that she could swoon at the mere thought of it.

It was a perfect first date. Something that came out of a romance novel. Something that she had imagined to herself during her period of girlhood. Still too young to have a romance of her own and yet never stopped daydreaming about prince charming and princesses.

Tonight, she felt like a princess and Max is her very own prince charming.

“I look like a fool,” laughed y/n as Max escorted her towards her door when their date is ending.

“Believe me schat, no fool look as beautiful as you,” said Max with a grin.

“No, no, I mean,” she started. “I look like a fool because despite all of my declaration earlier about my no kissing policy in a first date, I think, I really want to kiss you right now.”

Y/n felt warm after that, mouth still smiling like a lovesick fool as she stared at Max’s blue eyes.

“Yeah?” breathed out Max as he leaned closer. “Then I must’ve been a fool too?”

Their face is so close that she could feel their breath mingling with each other. “Why?” she asked.

Blue eyes stared at her and y/n felt as if she was going to drown in them. As if, the entire galaxy is in there and she wants nothing but to gaze it all eternity.

“Because I want to kiss you too.”

Their lips met each other for the first time that day.

“I really don’t believe you,” sighed the woman. “How can you stay single throughout university?”

“What can I say?” laughed y/n, humor evident on her tone. “No one wants me.”

“But you’re a really beautiful girl-“

“You’re beautiful,” breathed out Max, eyes unblinking.

Y/n giggled, mocked curtsying towards the man in front of her who let out a burst of laugh at that. “You think so?” she said, eyes crinkling from how wide her smile is. The dark dress she’s wearing made an amazing contrast on her skin, hugging her figure at the right place.

She looks beautiful. Almost divine even.

“I know so,” said the man as he curled an arm around her waist. It’s a tight gripped. As if he doesn’t want to let go of her. “I don’t want anyone to see you like this.”

“We’re going to be late,” she replied simply, hand goes towards around his neck as she cuddled closer towards him. “I don’t want to make Daniel waiting.”

“Daniel can wait all night long,” grumbled Max.

The girl let out a laugh at that, releasing her hold. “Come on, Romeo,” she said, dragging the man towards the door. “We have a dinner to catch.”

“-And a charming girl!”

“She’s a charming one, isn’t she?”

Y/n stopped, hiding herself behind a pillar.

A few moments ago, she had left the table to go to the bathroom to do some touch ups, leaving Max, Daniel, and Heidi on the table.

She didn’t expect that she will accidentally eavesdrop their conversation.

“I know,” replied the dutch, making Daniel grin wider.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” murmured Heidi as she leaned towards Daniel closer. “The both of us knows you when you’re still a teen and we’ve never seen you looking so…”

“In love,” continued Daniel without missing a beat. “I never saw you so infatuated with someone before.”

Her heart hammered wildly inside her chest.

Love?

… Love???

“I think so,” replied Max, much to her surprise. “I know that we started dating not too long ago, but really, I think she’s the one.”

Daniel let out a loud laugh at that as he pat Max’s back violently. She could hear the teasing that the Australian gave Max and how the younger male let out a chuckle. They continue to talk after that, though Y/n doesn’t even bother to listen.

After all, she’s a flustered mess there behind the pillar.

She could hear the blood rushing towards her face and how her heart began to beat loudly on her ears. She knows that her relationship with Max is good. More than good in fact. It was as if she had met her soulmate in the form of Max Verstappen.

They have many shared interest with each other. Max had always managed to make her laugh and she too, had always managed to make him laugh. She felt comfort every time she goes with Max.

As if, the man that she now called her boyfriend, is the very man that the universe had shaped specifically for her.

But love?

My,

Oh my.

She could feel more and more blood rushing towards her face.

Is she, in love with Max Verstappen?

(Yes)

It should scare her a bit how fast she knows the answer to that question.

“Really, I can’t understand why you don’t have any boyfriend,” lamented the older woman dramatically.

“Maybe it’s my personality,” laughed the younger. “I think I have a really bad personality.”

“Of course not,” replied her mom. “You’re an angel, darling. Always willing to listen to everyone problem and make it your mission to solve it.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” admitted Max once upon a time. The both of them sat on the floor right in front of the sofa. The tv in front of them is playing a movie that they don’t even bother to watch at this point.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” answered y/n immediately. “You’re perfect.”

“No, I’m not,” said Max as he leaned towards her. His weight is a comforting presence next to her. “I just- I don’t think I should be doing what I’m doing.”

Y/n stared at him, a bit shocked.

After all, this is Max Verstappen. Formula One worl champion. A prodigy of the sport. The very man that had dominated the track with his style of driving. Max had always looks confident and sure, especially if it relates to Formula One.

He had started driving an F1 car before he have a normal driving license! He had been the youngest world champion in the history of Formula One! He had been what many dubbed as a once in many years talent.

And he too, is a man who’s questioning about his position in Formula One.

“What made you say that?” she asked softly as one of her hand began caressing his hair. She had learnt that Max likes something like this. The gentle touches.

“I just think… I think my path in Formula One is not my decision,” he said. “It was just always there, you know? My dad is an F1 driver, and ever since I was small, he had always encouraged me to take on this path… So I just thought that maybe in actuality, I don’t even like to drive. But considering it’s the only thing that I ever know i…”

“Because you think that F1 is the only think you ever know, it made you love the sport?” finished Y/n.

Max was silent a bit before that before he let out a nod. “Yeah,” he said. “Maybe like that.”

“Have you ever feel forced every time you drive?” asked Y/n. “Have you ever feel that you don’t want to drive?”

“No,” replied Max. “No, I don’t.”

Y/n let out a hum at that. “Don’t you think that’s enough of an answer?” asked the female with a soft chuckle.

The female pondered about that for a bit. There’s a silence between the two of them before he let out a sigh. “Maybe it is,” he murmured. “But i… Schat, people doesn’t even like me there.”

Ah, she realized.

Max, despite his tough demeanor and aloof personality, is a bit of a soft heart.

He thinks way too much about everything. About himself and about people around him. To people that doesn’t know him, they would never guessed that Max is the type of person that actually listens. That he’s the type of person that will think way too deeply about people reaction of thoughts about him.

It was something that she tried to change about him.

“Babe, you are welcome, people doesn’t hate you, especially F1 fans,” said the female softly.

She could hear the scoff that he let out.

“No, no, no, you have to believe me,” she said, moving her posture so that she could see straight to his eyes. “You have to believe me, no one dislike you. You are an amazing driver, and moreso, an amazing man. People who hates you must’ve been crazy.”

Max let out a bitter chuckle at that. “There must’ve been a lot of crazy people in the world then?”

“Well, we do live in a crazy world,” she replied. “But that’s not the point. Babe, I really don’t want you to question your place in Formula One just because there are people who doesn’t like you. You’re talented. You love F1. Don’t you think that’s enough of a reason for you to be welcome in F1?”

“Maybe,” answered Max. “It’s just… never mind. I- I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”

“No, no, no, let’s talk, okay?” said Y/n. “If… if you really think that there’s may be something out there that you like more than F1… do you want to try it out?”

The male stared at her. “Try it out?”

“Yes, let’s try to find you a hobby,” said the female. “We could sign up to short classes or maybe try something online. You know, to try and find something that you might like.”

Max stared at her as silence bestowed between the two of them.

“A shop down the street will actually have a pottery class next Wednesday, I could sign us up. Or maybe you like to try new sport? I heard padel tennis is popular these days? Or we could-“

She stopped her rambling when she felt Max’s lips on hers. He didn’t stop kissing her until he hovered on top of her as the both of them parted their lips to gasped for breath.

“Max?” she breathed out, hand reaching upwards.

“Thank you,” he murmured as he closed their distance once again. “I just want to say thank you.”

There’s a bouquet of roses on her kitchen counter.

Y/n reached out to it almost immediately, giddy and heart hammering loudly.

“Please,” replied the female. “I know you’re my mom, but you can’t overpraise me like that.”

The older woman laughed at that. “I’m not overpraising you!” exclaimed the woman with a good humor. “You’re a beautiful and smart girl, I remember your first piano recital as if it was yesterday.”

“Mom,” she whined out. “I was like, six, when I did that recital!”

“Oh, but you played it so beautifully!”

“You can play the piano?”

Y/n grinned. “Took lessons when I was a kid and I guess it stuck,” she replied, taking his hand and drag him to sit next to her in the piano chair. It’s a snug fit, but the laughter that the both of them shared made as if they’re sitting in the comfiest chair in the world.

She guided his hand towards the black and white keys, making him touch some of it.

“Sorry, schat, I’m afraid my only talent is driving a car,” said Max, letting out a laugh as she continued to make him press some of the keys.

“I can see that,” replied the female cheekily. “Do you want to hear me play?”

Max hummed as he rested his head on her shoulder. She began playing, fingertips touching every keys as if it was her old friend. Her mind began to wander to the countless recitals that she had attended when she was a kid.

Her mom had been convinced that she’s the next Mozart in the making. That her musical talent will soon take over the world.

Though, the woman had to hide her disappointment when Y/n doesn’t become too interested to play piano professionally. Now it just become a hobby to her. Or a good way to impress someone at a party.

Max lightly hummed as she continued to play the instrument next to him. His hand had found itself wrapped around her waist as the soft sound of her playing slowly lulled him to dreamland.

Y/n doesn’t know how much time passed, the only thing that she knows was when she finished the piece, the man besides her had been sound asleep. The fond smile that crept into her face made the moment a bit more tender.

“You sound as if you regret letting me to stop playing the piano,” teased the younger female as she bumped her shoulder to her.

Her mother shook her head at that. “I probably would’ve become more regretful if you’re a bad student, but you’re such a good student!”

Y/n gave Max a small kiss on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered out. “I really want to come to the race, but you know I have exams coming.”

“It’s okay,” answered Max as he wrapped an arm around her. He nuzzled his face towards the crook of her neck, staying in that position for some time before he looked up towards her. “I know how important it is for you.”

The female bit her lips.

Truthfully, she really wants to go and support Max. After all, racing is his lifeline. It’s practically already on his blood. All his life, it had always been racing and racing for him. She really wants to go there and support him in what he loves.

But alas, her professor is a jerk.

“I’ll come during the Monaco racing calendar,” she said, regretfully. “I’ll… I’ll check my classes schedule to see if I can sneak one or two travel in between to see you race.”

The joy that appeared on Max’s face made her a bit giddy.

“You will really do that?” asked the male.

“Of course,” she said, cradling her face. “I want to support you in your element you know,” at this, a smile crept into her face. “So you’re better leading the championship when I come, okay?”

Max laughed at that. “I will,” he said. “I already can’t wait.”

The kiss that they shared before Max left is way too warm and tender. Y/n can’t help the giddiness and the love that’s threatening to burst from her chest.

“Welcome back,” she greeted him with a kiss. “I saw the race live, congratulations on the win.”

“Thank you,” he said, hugging her tightly. “I passed by a florist earlier so I just thought-“

Y/n can’t contain the giddy grin that appear on her face at the sight of the fresh bouquet of roses.

Good grades had always been the norm for her. It always come easily, good grades and praised from the people around her.

She knows that she’s someone with a good head on her shoulder. That she will always be able to think rationally and logically. That she will never let her emotion influenced her decision on anything. Always doing something logical and rational. That’s why, y/n never thinks that she’s a fool.

But alas, often times, love will make you a fool.

“What is this?” asked the female, hand shakily holding her phone. “Max, what is this?”

Max doesn’t even meet her eyes.For her, it’s enough of a confirmation.

On her phone is a video that’s clearly being taken in the middle of a nightclub. It’s loud and the lighting is a bit bad, making the numerous people inside the place a bit hazy to see through the phone screen. Though, y/n will never mistake the man dancing in the video.

It’s Max. Her boyfriend.

It’s Max who’s in the middle of the dance floor. Dancing and sloppily making out with another girl that’s not her.

“Max!” she said, voice raising. She ignores the tinge of nervousness that appeared inside of her. After all, she had never raised her voice like that towards anyone before. “Max, answer me- what- what is this!?”

“Y/n” said Max, finally opening his mouth. He reached towards her hand, intertwining their fingers together. She really wants to slap it away. To turn her back from those blue eyes of his that never fail to make her knees weak. “Baby, please, I- I was drunk.”

Drunk?

He was drunk?

Why is he saying it as if that simple act justify him cheating on her? Y/n had been drunk plenty of time before. But she had never-

She had never even thought to make out with another man when she has a boyfriend. She had never thought to cheat on her significant other even when she had been batshit drunk.

“Why are you saying it like that?” she asked, voice shaky. “So what if you’re drunk? That doesn’t even explain anything!”

“I don’t remember anything about that night,” replied Max immediately. “I- I must’ve thought it was you!”

Does he think she’s a fool?

“Do you think I’m stupid?” she grits out. “I’ve been drunk before Max and I never even thought to cheat on you!”

“Well I probably wouldn’t have done that if our relationship is not like this!”

The sudden yell from the man in front of her made her flinch a bit. Her eyes stared at Max’s blue ones as the man too, continue to stare at her. There’s a sudden silence between the two of them as Y/n try to process what the man had just said to her.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Our relationship,” started the man as he sat on the sofa, dragging her to sit besides him, knees touching. “I- you know my job demand a lot of things from me,” he continued, hand flying towards his hair in frustration. "It's been hard, every races, especially when I don’t have my own girlfriend to support me.”

“You know why I can’t,” the female protested immediately. “I have university, classes, my own life- i- I just can’t drop everything for you!”

“But other drivers girlfriend did that!” said Max, turning his attention back to her. He sighed in frustration before he slumped back towards the sofa. “All the other drivers significant others are in the paddock constantly and is supporting them throughout the season, I just think that I should’ve been nice if my own girlfriend can come and support me in one of my races!”

And oh.

Oh.

Max… had been comparing himself with the other drivers. That he saw other drivers to have a working support system around him and him, not having any.

She knows how deeply rooted insecurity had ingrained itself inside of the male heart. That from he was a child, he was always comparing and comparing himself with people around him. That he’s weak with that.

Maybe,

Maybe, just maybe.

There’s a reason why he did what he did.

Was he lonely?

Was he craving for her presence? Does he really need her support that much?

(She ignores the fact that she knows that Max’s parents and sisters often come to the races too. She ignores the fact, that his very own best friend is a F1 driver too. That Red Bull had become his family. That he has a whole support system in the paddock besides her. That even without her, there will always be someone supporting him.)

Her anger and the feeling of being betrayed slowly seeped away as regret and sorrow made its way up. Max seems to notice too as the hold that he has over her hand tightened.

“I’m sorry,” said Max, bringing her closer for an embrace. “I really missed you and i- I thought that she was you.”

The female in the video does have the same hair color as her. Maybe he missing her that bad back then. That’s why he did what he did.

“I’m sorry too,” said y/n, enveloping her arm around his neck. “I- I should’ve supported you more.”

Y/n had never thought she’s a fool.

She’s a woman with a good head on her shoulder. She’s a woman with vast knowledge and high education. She’s a woman who always think rationally and logically. Emotion had never affected her decision.

But that decision, is the start of her foolery.

“I- I forgive you,” muttered the woman. “Just- please make sure you will never do that again.”

At that, the smile that Max let out brightened up her world just a bit.

“I promise,” answered the man as he leaned towards her for a kiss.

As they sat there, lips touching with each other, Y/n can’t help the nagging feeling that made her felt as if she’s the clown of this story

“Yes,” she muttered softly. “I am… a good student.”

There’s a bouquet of roses on her kitchen counter.

Y/n stared at it silently.

“But I think, I’m a fool,” continue the girl as the put the cake on the oven.

Her mother stared at her.

“Dear,” she started, hand reaching towards her. Her touch is soft and warm. It’s always welcoming. Something that she had always fall into when she was a child. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

There’s so many things that she’s not telling her and she wants nothing but to tell her all of those things.

All of those months full of agony and tears. All of those sleepless night and insecurity.

Everything that she had felt these past few months, she wants to tell it all to the older woman.

But no.

She didn’t.

She decided long ago, that these emotions- this feelings that she had buried inside of her heart should never be uttered out loud. That the only closure that she will ever have, is by burying all of these messy emotions deep inside of her heart.

Not opening her heart anymore. Not letting anyone in.

A fool.

A girl, with nothing but a clown costume.

Well, y/n is a fool indeed.

There’s a bouquet of roses on her kitchen. Sitting there unmoving. The previous bouquet had not even wilted yet. She felt a bit sick at the mere thought of it.

Roses after roses.

Tears after tears.

She should’ve known that this relationship would never last. That this blissful feeling and tender care that they share with each other is not something that will last forever.

A famous formula one superstar like him with a normal university student like her.

How laughable.

Y/n felt stupid that she actually thought that this relationship will last.

Because it’s not.

“You said you won’t do it again,” she said, eyes staring at her plate intently. Not wanting to see the man sitting in front of her.

How many times is it now? She doesn’t even bother to count.

It was always like this. Every time she saw him with another girl – always though social media, or through a friend. Never had it been from Max himself. There will always be a bouquet of roses on her kitchen. As if, those roses are enough.

As if, those roses are enough for her to forgive him.

(It did.)

Max shifted, “You have to believe me,” he said, hand reaching towards her own. Though, she immediately flinched, retreating. The male seems to have noticed it too, as he too, froze up on his spot.

“Schat,” he called out, tone pleading. “You have to believe me. I- it was not my intention to touch her like that.”

“And yet you still did,” replied the female, curling herself into a ball. It was a bit dangerous position considering she’s sitting on their dining room chair. Though, she really can’t help it. She wants to disappear. To stop this hurtful feelings that’s threatening to overflow.

She hates this so so much.

“I was drunk!” exclaimed Max as his tone went higher and higher. “I thought she was you- that’s why I was so receptive!”

There was something on his tone that sounds almost frantic. As if he’s desperately trying to put everything together. To make this thing between the two of them works. Max too seems to realize as he stood up, circling the dining table so he could stood by her side.

Y/n could feel his hands curling around her shoulder. “I thought it was you and I was missing you really badly because we haven’t met each other in weeks,” he said, face so close to hers as his hands scrambling to wipe of something from her face.

Oh.

She’s crying. She didn’t even realize that.

“I miss you so much, that’s why I went with her to the hotel and-“

And that really is the thing that made y/n snap.

Because the way he said this, the way he’s trying to direct this conversation, was as if he was going to blame her about this mess of their relationship. As if, him cheating was her fault. As if, him sleeping with another girl is her fault.

She hates it so much she wants it to end.

The last string, finally broke.

She should’ve known that this relationship of theirs is not something that could last forever. After all, the both of them led such a different life with each other.

Too many differences.

Too many hurdles.

Back then, she thought that she could face all of it. All of those hurdles and problems. She used to believe that both Max and her could resolve it. That they could triumph each one easily.

But now?

She’s far too tired.

She’s too tired to hang around this relationship of theirs. Too tired of the countless sleepless nights and all the overthinking that she did. Too tired to scroll through her social media only to see her with different girl each time. Too tired, to put her expectation to this man before her.

Y/n is not a fool.

She doesn’t want to be a clown anymore.

And so, this is the end. The end of everything that they had built. That this sacred commitment between the two of them is nothing but a thorn on her side.

“I’m tired,” the family let out, eyes still streaming with tears as she stared at Max’s blue eyes. Blue eyes that used to make her weak on the knees. The blue eyes that never fail to make her heart race.

Though this time, she felt empty as she stared at those blue eyes of his.

“I’m tired, Max,” she repeated once more. “Let’s end this.”

Y/n moved back to her parents’ house not long after that. Transferring university to that of her country. Leaving all the memories that she had made in Monaco in that country.

There are many things that she wants to left there. Too many things.

(They didn’t even managed to say I love you yet. Those simple words that remained inside her heart.)

And as she landed back on her home country, eyes staring at the plane that had taken her from Monaco, she can’t help the small smile that appeared on her face.

Yes, this is a new start for her.

She’s tired of being a fool.

“There are many things that I want to say,” started the younger as she stared at the older woman with a bittersweet smile on her face. “But I think- I think I’m still not ready for it.”

Her mother hummed at that. “Of course,” she muttered, hand enveloping her in a hug. It’s warm and it reminded her so much of her childhood. She wants to stay like this forever. Enveloped in her mother embrace forever. “You can always tell me later. I’m always here, remember?”

“Yeah,” y/n said as she released her embrace. “Yeah, I know.”

That answer seems to have brightened her mother up a bit. “Well okay then, enough of the depressing talk!” she said with a clap of her hands. “Tomorrow is a big day for us so-“

What her mother was going to say was interrupted by the loud sound of a ringing bell.

Both female exchanged glances with each other, eyebrow raising. “We’re having guest?” ask y/n.

“I doubt s,” said her mom. “Will you be a dear and open the door? I’m going to call for your dad.” She muttered out before she’s gone to call for the man.

Y/n shrugged, not seeing any problem with that as she walked towards the front door not expecting anything. After that shocking and a bit emotional talk with her mom, she’s not in the mood to entertain any guest today.

Maybe it could be a mailman? Doubt so.

Her sister? No, she’s on a vacation to Greece.

Then who could possibly be ringing their door?

She opened her door, not expecting anything, only to found herself rooted on her spot as she stared at the sight before her. Because there he stood, blond hair, blue eyes, and white shirt. Somehow, her heart started to betray her and it began hammering wildly inside her chest.

“Hey,” said Max Verstappen, standing in front of her door with a bouquet of roses on his hand.

Ah, thought y/n.

Maybe she is a fool after all.

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leclucklerc · 5 months

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Check Point MV1 - 02. Bad Decision

Pairings: Max Verstappen x Actress!Reader

Summary: Going to a Grand Prix in the midst of an emotional turmoil is not something she recommend to anyone.

Word Count: 3.3k

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This is wrong, she thought as she entered the highly populated Grand Prix entrance. She could see countless of cameras, as well as the scream and gasps that trailed after her as more and more people realized her identity.

This is wrong, she thought, as she took a picture with her dad in front of the Ferrari hospitality. Both in the prancing horse color – blazing red.

This is wrong, she thought as she stared at the huge picture of Charles Leclerc. Smiling and staring at her. Smiling and staring at her, just like years ago when the three of them – her, Charles, and Max – is still the best of friends. As if, this simple picture could read her deepest thoughts.

This is wrong, she thought as she decided that staying in the Ferrari hospitality is the wrong move – all the stares, all the whispers, Charles’s face being everywhere - and decided that it’s time to run away – the very thing that she did best – before she met any familiar face.

This is wrong, she thought as she bumped into someone. Protest already on her tongue before she looked up, only to see familiar familiar blue eyes staring at her.

Oh, she thought.

This is wrong.

This is right.

Max Verstappen stood in front of her, decked in a Red Bull polo shirt as well as jeans. There’s a cap perched on top of his head, the number one blazing on it. A clear mark about his position. A clear mark to the world that he is the world champion.

That the little Max that she had known for year had reached his dream.

What a bittersweet feeling.

“Hi?” said the woman, throat suddenly too narrow to say anything. As if, she’s not used to talking to someone.

Or maybe it’s because it is Max standing in front of her. Max with his blond hair. Max with his blue eyes. Max who always has that warm smile on his face every time he sees her.

“Y/n,” breathed out Max. “It’s been a while.”

God, she wants do die.

In hindsight, going to the grand prix is a bad idea. She knows that. Her father knows that. Everyone knows that.

But fuck, her pr manager doesn’t know that or he refused to know that.

Max looks good. She had always known that Max is a cute kid but grown up max looks really good. Maybe it’s the world champion shine, maybe it’s because he finally grown out of his baby fat, or maybe it’s just for the simple fact that he carried himself differently than before.

More mature. More confident.

But yeah. Max looks good.

(Maybe he looks good for the simple fact that he’s Max. The Max that had teased her countless of times. The Max that had accompany her throughout her childhood.)

It’s been years since she saw him directly. It’s been years full of missed calls and failed meetups. It’s been years and years of running away and refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room between the two of them.

“Yeah,” she said, eyes fluttering everywhere. Desperately trying to find any kind of distraction that can get her out of this situation. “It has been a while. 4 years?”

“Five,” said the male instead, eyes locking at hers and Y/n just can’t look away. She had always been weak for those blue eyes after all. “It’s been five years since I last saw you.”

Guilt bubbled inside of her. This feeling that had been eating her up ever since she entered the Grand Prix gates. This uncomfortable feeling that had been nagging her nonstop as more and more people realize her attendance.

The almost terror like feeling that she felt when she saw her name trending on top of the race itself.

“I-“ she started, wanting to search for some kind of excuse just to get out of this situation. “My dad is waiting for me at the Ferrari hospitality so-“

A hand shot up, grabbing her hand. Effectively rendering her from getting away.

Max seems familiar with her tendency to just run away, that’s why he immediately caught her. Not wanting the female to walk out of his life once again.

“Max-“ said y/n, staring at the hand that’s holding her own. “Can you let go-“

“No,” answered the male before he started dragging her. “It’s been years since we last talked, we will be having a proper conversation right now.”

“The race is about to start!” protested the girl, struggling. “And I know you have media-“

The male snorted at that. “Well then, I just got an excuse to bail on media appearances then.”

“Max!”

It was not long before they arrived in a pretty secluded spot, behind all of the team trailers that anyone barely use. Y/n is a bit surprised that Max knows this kind of place, considering how big his daily entourage should’ve. But at the same time, remembering how the male sometimes have to retreat to a quiet place after a chaotic day, she’s also not surprised that he knows this kind of place.

A place where he can be alone. A place, where no one can interrupt his moment of silence.

The male finally stopped dragging her, though his hands are still locked around her own tightly. As if she would run away if he ever loosened his hold. As if, that if he let her go once again, y/n will go and disappear. Refusing to meet him for years and years.

They stared at each other, not even daring to touch the elephant in the room.

Finally, it was Max who broke the silence. “It’s been a while” he said again, hold tightening. “I almost forgot how you looks like.”

Y/n knows that it’s a lie, considering how much the media loves her face. Though, she also knows that it’s also Max’s way to lessen the tension. To make things a bit lighter.

“And I didn’t forget yours,” she finally answered after a few moments of silence. “I see that you had become the world champion,” At this, she stared pointedly at the number one plastered across his cap.

Max too seems to notice how her attention had shifted. The male reached out, taking off the cap from his head. “Ah, yeah,” he said.

“It looks great on you,” she blurted out, not thinking much. “I mean, the number one. It fits you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” replied y/n without missing a beat. Because isn’t that what Max had always wanted? To have the number one. To become the world champion. To gain a bit of a freedom from his father.

(She blatantly ignored that it’s also Charles’s dream to become a world champion. She too, ignored the fact that it also used to be her dream to become a world champion.

Ignorance is a bliss, an y/n follows that phrase like a devout believer.)

A small smile appeared on Max’s face at that. “Here,” he said, putting the cap on top of her head. “I also thought that you look great with the number one.”

Ah, she thought. Legs going a bit weak.

That statement brought out so many memories of her childhood. Of her spending her time in the racing track. Of her racing with both Max and Charles. Of those blissful days of her childhood where racing was still an integral part of her life.

She had always wanted this. To have the number one. To be the driver that has the honor to wear the number.

The memories of her dad blazing red Ferrari and the number one plastered across it appeared inside of her head. Of Max’s now very own Red Bull and the number one plastered across it.

It was such a reminiscence of her childhood. Of the beautiful days full of blissful childish dream.

Going to the grand prix is a bad idea.

“Thank you,” she said, voice a bit wobbly. “I’ll- wearing a Red Bull cap with a Ferrari racing jacket can cause quite a scandal. This should stay between us.”

Max let out a small laugh at that. “A secret between us two?” he said, a teasing tilt on his tone. “How scandalous.”

Y/n snorted at that, feeling amused. “We have plenty of secrets between the two of us,” she said, reminding him of all the unspeakable things that they had shared during their childhood years. “Like during that time when we have our ski trip in second grade-“

“And we promised that we never talked about it again, right?” cut off Max.

The female let out a laugh at that. Max too, seems amused.

She almost forgets the tense atmosphere that had engulfed them beforehand. She had almost forgot the now broken friendship between them. Of countless childhood memories being down in the drain. Of her, desperately trying to salvage and destroy it at the same time.

Y/n is indecisive. She knows that she’s indecisive.

Sometimes, she felt sad that her bond with both Max and Charles had become like this. Frayed to almost oblivion. That the strong friendship that they had forged from years of years being rivals to each other in the karting track becomes nothing but acquaintances.

Though, sometimes, she too felt grateful that their bond becomes like this. That there are no more reminders of what could have been. No more remainders of her now broken dreams and broken-

“What happened then?” asked Max, after their laughter subsided. “What the fuck happened to us?”

Yes.

What the fuck happened to them?

She too, doesn’t know.

“I-“ she started. “I think we just grew up,” replied the woman, blurting out the first bullshit that appeared inside of her head.

Max furrowed his eyebrows at that. Not believing her at all. Y/n doesn’t even believe herself too.

“Bullshit and you know that” he said, calling her out for that shitty answer. “Y/n we grew up together. The both of us knows that it’s bullshit.”

“I mean,” she said again. “We grew up together but we haven’t met each other for years-“

A hand grabbed her wrist. It’s a tight grip, indicating that the male in front of her doesn’t want her to escape this conversation. “And,” he started, blue eyes boring into hers. “Why do you think that happened?”

“i-“

“I reached out,” he said. “Me and Charles tried to reach out to you for years! We even reached to your dad, but you never seem interested to talk to us anymore!”

She knows. She knows that the both of them had visited her childhood home a year ago. She knows because she had tried to find any possible reason to not meet them, much to her dad dissapointmen.

“Max-“

“I know that you’ve been making your name in Hollywood, jetting off here and there and becoming incredibly busy- but do you really not have the time to at least talk to us once these past years?” asked Max. There’s a faint tremble on his tone. Something that is so unlike the man.

After all, Max had always been confident. He had always had that self-assurance that he’s the best. That he will become the number one in the world.

To hear him, sounding shaky and emotional like this is-

“I’m sorry,” y/n finally said. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

She doesn’t know what the stare Max is giving her means. She doesn’t know what the prolonged silence between the two of them actually means. She doesn’t know anything.

Y/n doesn’t know how to say sorry properly. She doesn’t know how to mend all the broken bonds and friendships that she had broken all these years. She doesn’t know how to face her childhood best friends properly after years and years of avoiding them.

She really doesn’t know anything.

She only knows how to run and run. To hide away from the reality in front of them. Always stubbornly try and avoid them like a plague.

“Is this because what happened in 2015?” asked the male finally. “Or is it because Monaco 2016?”

Both.

She wants to say both.

2015

“What do you mean you’re not racing anymore?”

Y/n stood on the Toro Rosso garage, regretting her decision wholeheartedly. In front of her, stood her best friend, clad in the standard polo uniform of the team and staring at her as if she’s grown a second head.

“Like, literally,” she replied, nervous.

Max continues to stare at her. “Are you sick?” he finally asked after a few moments of silence. “That’s why you’re taking the season off?”

No.

No, it’s not because of that.

“No,” she said after another silence passed between the two of them. “It’s… I quit racing.”

“What do you mean you quit racing?” pressed on the male further. “You’re in the Ferrari driving academy!”

Red appeared inside her mind. The prancing horse with yellow background. She could almost imagine her dad, laughing with Ferrari merchandise donning around his body. She too, could almost see the various Ferrari memorabilia scattered around her childhood house. Of fast red cars and your dad winning championships with equally red race suit. Of the academy who had given her the chance to be a driver.

Of the place, where she cried and cried until her voice became raw. The beautiful scenery of Maranello became nothing but a blur as she slumped inside an almost abandoned alleyway all those months ago.

Of her dad, winning and celebrating with that red race suit. The symbol of the prancing horse proudly on his chest.

Of the academy that made her realized that y/n is not the chosen one.

“Last night I dropped out,” blurted out the female and she regretted it immediately at the sheer shock and disappointment that appeared on Max’s face. “It’s… I decided that I’m not going to race anymore.”

The male scrunched his eyebrows together as if she had done something unfathomable. And maybe it is to Max. After all, racing had always been everything to him. He had dedicated so much time and effort in this sport that the mere thought of quitting is something that he can’t process.

And- and y/n gets it.

If she were in max’s position, she will also have the same reaction. After all Max is the youngest driver to ever debuted in Formula One. He had skipped the lower category and went straight towards a seat in Toro Rosso. He had advanced further compared to y/n and Charles.

He’s the chosen one. The very person that fate had chosen.

It’s not her.

“But why?” he asked, voice small. As if, he was afraid what her answer will be.

And y/n, y/n found herself to be conflicted.

She should have told him about all the mounting pressure that she had to bear in an almost daily basis. The dread that she always felt as she saw her dad’s name all around Maranello. The gazes full of expectations – of great things, of changing histories – that people would always direct towards her. The friendly gestures – fake or real – that people had shown her to get into her good grace.

The pity on their eyes when they realized that maybe she’s not talented enough. That maybe, she won’t be the person that’s going to change Formula One.

The scenery that had become nothing but a blur one month ago. Of the loud crash that had reverberated across the air as she remembers nothing of it. Of her waking up in a hospital room, alone.

Of her trembling hand as she reached out for the steering wheel. Of the pounding heart and the unsteady breath.

Y/n should’ve had said that. After all, both are the victims of a too heavy last name. The both of them are the victims of a too big expectations. Max would have understood if she told him all of this. Hell, he would’ve even advised her on what to do. To help her.

But y/n didn’t tell him that.

Run, her mind whispered.

Run, before it’s too late. Go and escape before it’s too late.

(“This world is a cruel place, dear,” whispered her mother as she cradled her face softly. Y/n could see the painted lips – dark red, a symbol of independence and allure – curving into a small smile. “This world is a cruel place for a pretty thing like you.”

“Why?” she had asked, not understanding what the older woman is trying to say.

“You will know,” answered the woman. “Never show your true feeling. Never give your heart easily. Protect yourself.”

Y/n stared at her, as the older woman continue to stare at her too.

“By the end of the day,” muttered the woman as she held her close. “The only one you can trust is yourself.”)

Be a coward and run away.

Don’t give your heart too easily.

Protect yourself.

“It’s…” she trailed off instead, doesn’t know where to start. “I got an offer… for a movie.”

The both of them stared at each other amidst the silence. Max stared at her as if she had gone crazy and maybe she is. Maybe she did go crazy.

A mad woman. A mad woman who is bearing the too heavy burden of her last name.

“A movie,” said Max finally. “All of this, just for a movie.”

It’s not just a movie, she wants to refute. Because it’s a movie from a famous director. It’s a movie that offered y/n a lead role. A movie with amazing script and star-studded cast. A movie that already got an Oscar buzz even though it hasn’t even been released yet.

So yes. It’s not just a movie.

It’s a chance for y/n to be the chosen one. To be someone that fate chose.

It’s a movie, that will give her a chance to forget about everything. To forget about her trembling hands and the awful memories. The movie that will make her forget about Maranello and the prancing house.

After all, her mother had always said if you’re successful enough, everything will become enjoyable.

All she needs is to become a successful enough actor. If she managed to do that then maybe she can forget-

The three of them, laughing at the karting track. Of the intense and yet enjoyable rivalry between the three of them.

Stop.

She needs to forget.

But she knows Max wouldn’t get it.

“I-“ started the girl. “I just think that there’s no place for me in Formula One,” she said.

Max scoffed. “How do you know when you didn’t even try?” he hissed out. “You- you were so close! Sauber will open a seat for you!”

And, oddly enough, that made her mad.

Because not everyone is Max Verstappen. Not everyone has an overwhelmingly talent like Max Verstappen. Not everyone can become a Formula One driver at 17. Not everyone can turn all the pressure and expectations into something that they can be proud of!

(Because that’s what happened to her. Unlike Max who decided to face it head on, y/n decided to run away.)

“How do you know that?” she asked instead, voice rising. “How do you even know I have a future here!?”

“Because you have!” exploded Max. “You belong here! Not in some place like Hollywood!”

“But I love acting!” said the female.

“You also love racing!”

The both of them stared at each other. The tense silence between the two of them only stopped when someone knocked the door towards Max’s driver room.

It was not long before an employee of Toro Rosso appeared. “Um, Max?” asked the man, peering around the room cautiously. It seems he realized the tense atmosphere between the two of them. “We’re going to start soon?”

“Yeah,” replied Max, “I’ll- I’ll be there soon.”

The employee left and Max turned his attention back to her. “Stay here,” said the male. “We’ll talk, after the race.”

Y/n gave a stiff nod as the male left the room.

She silently stared at the white walls, letting the silence enveloping the room as she sat there silently. It was also then when she turned her attention towards the door.

Well, she thought, grabbing her bag.

Y/n had always been good at running away anyway.

taglist!

@mynameisangeloflife @dl-yum @hockeyboysarehot @stopeatread @cha-hot @ironmaiden1313 @unlikelythingbasement @sofs16 @laneyspaulding19 @poppyalice2001 @drewismypookie @chiliwhore @ilove-tswizzle @woderfulkawaii @sialexia @celesteblack08 @thewannabewriter @ririyulife @luisie

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