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*watching dj khaleds snapchat* me: here we go Dj khaled: lets go see what we gon have for breakfast today Both of us at the same time: chicken sausage, egg whites, and water.. key to success

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I can’t even think of a way to respond to this

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This year’s best halloween costume goes to theses Japanese art students -

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god made us in his own image.. well, almost. god's pussy hole and ass hole are in opposite places. the reason he made ours switched is for copyright reasons and also because he thought it would be entertaining to watch us try and figure out pooping and pussy stuff but the joke's on him because it's just a better set up overall and he's bitter about being stuck with his back pussy and front shitter. that's why he does all the mean stuff that he does to us: floods, corona virus, katy perry, pearl harbor

taking notes taking notes

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You know what? Fuck you.

*unshrinkies your dinks*

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incredibly, the architect behind both the building that melts cars in london and the building that burns people in las vegas foresaw this exact problem happening for BOTH buildings, did not do anything to prevent it, and describes the effect as "phenomenal". King

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Waste their time.

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*exchanging wedding vows*

me: fullmetal alchemist my wife: *slightly differently from how I said it* fullmetal alchemist

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some of my favorite film theory and film criticism approaches <3

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If you're a side sleeper, get your shots on the side you do not sleep on.

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