maddipoof

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friends

i need to go back to @maddipoof

i’m sorry for what this will do to my masterlist

but reading my girlfriend’s ex’s name every time i open MY OWN tumblr…i don’t like it

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Mara, you're back??? Lovely to see you in my notifications, darling 💕

yes yes yes!

tentatively, but i do have a lot more time now that school is done 💖💖

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Djo loves me just in time

BACK ON YOU?? beautiful, may 2nd how I yearn for you

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no one told me the brutalist was three and a half hours long!!!!

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ohhhh that silly little feeling when you’re watching She Ra and you realize that your tumblr pseudonym is the name of your girlfriend’s most recent and most impactful ex

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djo (2022)

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Reblog to make it die faster

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Hi, I'm Nisreen from Gaza. 🍉🇵🇸

I'm a mother of three children, and I support them alone after they lost their father.

My family is in a dangerous situation due to the ongoing war, and my brother who suffers from bipolar disorder is in a critical condition due to the lack of treatment. We are in dire need of treatment, food and drink

Any support, can make a difference and save lives.💔

I would be very grateful if you could donate 🙏

Note ➡️ The campaign is verified in the pinned post

https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-help-needed-a-journey-from-gaza-to-safety

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

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Hello

I speak to you on behalf of humanity,🙏

My name is Tahrir from Gaza🍉, a mother of four children, we have been suffering from war for more than 300 days. We have been displaced more than ten times and every time we leave everything behind

Every day is hell for me and my family.

Winter is coming⛈️ and we are living in a tent⛺, it rained and our tents were flooded and we want to build new tents but they are expensive.

My little boy Khamis underwent surgery and needs health care

And my child Amir, during our displacement, fell and suffered a broken pelvis

All this while we live in cloth tents that do not protect us from anything

I hope you look at us with mercy and compassion.

Can you help me and donate to me via the gofundme link?

If anyone is has the capacity to donate even a little bit, i really do urge you to. If not, please share

and if you’re having trouble knowing what products to boycott, the app No Thanks App has been really helpful for me

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‏Hello dear friends! I am diaa from Gaza 🍉🇵🇸 Asking for help is not easy. I am asking for a small donation of $25 or20$ from each person. You can send your regards through the link..I need your help. If you can please donate to save my life and my family. My link is in my bio

‏https://gofund.me/52ad77b4

If anyone is has the capacity to donate even a little bit, i really do urge you to. If not, please share

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Once again I'm feeling bitter about My Lady Jane cancellation. Local men was so pathetic and slutty. Oh, to have five seasons of Guilford, Stan and maybe Edward being constant damsels in distress, doing nothing but a self-discovery and vibing. While woman are capable, ambitious and cut throat. Could be truly a revolutionary TV.

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just something short and semi-sweet for my dearest darling, my first ever tumblr bestie, light of my dash, @loving-and-dreaming

“Fuck,” you did not want Steve picking you up again. He just spent the last week and a half reorganizing his schedule, trading off with other people, cashing in on favors from Robin, to be able to get you from school every afternoon. Once you got your car back you thought that’d be the end of that, you could go back to being the cool, competent, independent, put-together girlfriend who’s got everything under control. 

The confidence faltered just a bit this morning when you were both leaving around the same time and it took you two tries to start your car after getting it back the night before. “You want me to drop you off again? I still have a while before I actually have to go in.” Steve had asked you. “No, I’ll be fine. Thank you though.” You smiled and waved goodbye through your rolled down window before backing out of the driveway. 

This was not fine. Fuck!

You resigned yourself to going back into the office and calling Steve from the secretary’s phone. Of course his first words were “I’ll be right there.”

And his first when he actually showed up were “So sweet of you that I was your first call and not AAA.” as he opened the driver side door to let you out. 

“Ha ha ha.” You grabbed your bag from the passenger's seat and held it for about 3 seconds before he took that from you too. With a kiss to your head and a slip of his hand into yours he led you to his car. 

“I can call Eddie to come look at it later tonight if you want?” 

“You don’t have to. I can call the mechanic tomorrow once they open.”

“Yeah, you could, but Eddie would–”

“Steve.” Your voice cut him off in a way that was much sharper than you meant it to be. “I’m sorry,” you shook your head at yourself and tried to wave it off as if your hand itself could filter through whatever it was that had come to fill the air. 

“It’s alright,” he made a move to hold that hand in a way that was more of an offer than a demand in any case. You took him up on it.

“I just want to lay down.”

“I can drive faster.”

“I don’t want it that urgently.”

“Medium fast.”

“I can take that.”

“Anything you specifically want for dinner?”

“Sleep.”

“I’ll think of something for us then.”

“I can take care of it.”

“Claudia gave me a new recipe she wants me to try, it looks good.” He thinks that’s enough to convince you, you think that’s cute. But it isn’t. He’s doing too much for you. You’re taking advantage, even though he tells you that’s not true, and if you ever got the courage to say any of this outloud he’d tell you that you’re crazy and give you a list of all the things you do for him and another of all the things he still has yet to do for you. 

“What is it?”

He describes it until you get to your house, the one you share, the one that’s cute and cozy and the one your family refuses to call a house and instead refers to as an “apartment.” 

You don’t let him take your bag from you, though you do let him get your door. You get to the front door first, trying and trying to get the key into the slot and yet it keeps missing. Why the fuck does it keep missing?

“Here, let me. I got it, baby.” Steve tries to gently move your hands out of the way to get the keys in himself. Oh how gentle he is. How kind and loving and caring and in your way. 

You drop your keys, as well as the whole lanyard they’re attached to, and all of a sudden there’s a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes and you don’t want to make Steve be the one to comfort you. Now that it seems it’s really all he’s been doing. But it’s Steve, and how could you not throw yourself into him the second you feel even the slightest bit overwhelmed.

Eyes closed for 3 seconds at most and you find yourself sitting on the steps up to your front door, Steve’s arms wrapped around you as you’re wracked by sobs. “Shhhhh, shhh, you’re safe, you’re safe. I’m right here, I’m right here, baby.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Woah, woah, what do you think you’re sorry for?” He takes your face in his hands now, making you look him in the eyes while he asks you. He does this constantly, making sure you know what you claim to be sorry for then squashing it like he’s actually more annoyed with you thinking you had to apologize. 

Sorry for looking like this while you look so perfect, sorry for making you hold me while I cry on the steps, sorry for making you pick me up all these days, sorry, sorry, sorry for not doing enough this last week but so much has been going on and I don’t know if I can handle all of it. 

“I don’t know.” Saying that just makes you cry more.

By now you’re half in his lap and definitely soaking his shirt, but he keeps rocking you side to side, holding, stroking, shushing, soothing. 

“Then you don’t have to apologize. But you can tell me when you think of something.” He squeezes you again. 

“There’s so much happening lately.” By lately you mean an inexplicable amount of time. “And you do so much for me that I don’t know what else is left that I can do for you. But I'm tired, I’m so tired of all of it.”

“I know, I know. I’m gonna keep doing everything I can for you though, you know that?”

“I don’t want you to.”

“I have to, it’s in the contract.”

“What contract?” 

“The contract of us.”

“I didn’t sign anything.”

“Welllllll, that’s not important. I’m going to take care of you, making everything I can easier for you because you’re the one who has it the hardest right now. But when it's my turn you can take care of me.”

“It’s not supposed to be my turn right now. I’m supposed to be the one with everything all together and taken care of, but it’s not. Nothing is.”

“But it’s not falling apart, is it?”

“What?”

“It’s just a little out of order, but you’re not falling apart either.”

“I don’t want to be out of order,” you didn’t mean to sound so whiny, but he can’t blame you either. 

“It’s ok that you are. And knowing that you are is even better because it’s good to know you need to take a break from fixing everything else.” He held you tighter in silence for another moment. “Take tomorrow off with me.”

“Steve, I can’t–”

“You’re not feeling well, your car is still in the parking lot, there’s plenty of reasons that you should call out tomorrow.”

“But we’re starting the magic E tomorrow,” you have a puppet show planned with vowels and consonants and the magic of an “e” at the end of a word making the vowel one consonant before it sound like the letter. 

“It's a Friday, have the sub put on a movie and do some crafts.” He takes a deep breath like he has something to say, “Or at least for now just come lay down with me for a little bit.”

“I can lay down.”

“Come on then,” he takes you by the hand to help you up and grabs your keys as he does.

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“You've got to learn to leave the table when love's no longer being served.” — Nina Simone

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"Sirius don't you dare, we're not at home." your whines go completely ignored by your boyfriend because as soon as you lay down on James' sofa, Sirius is lifting your sleep shirt and burying his head under it.

"What is wrong with him?" Lily asks as she passes you a mug of tea- chamomile with a touch of honey- before going to sit besides James who looks equally puzzled.

"Every time I get out of the shower at night he does this. Says the lotion I use is the cause." You pat your boyfriend's head under your shirt, Sirius turns sideways with a tired grin on his face.

"You act like Jamesie there isn't the biggest baby too." James gawks, hazel eyes narrowing.

"I didn't even say anything, Pads. I think it's sweet."

Remus shakes his head, "Of course you do. It'd be sweeter in private."

Lily, you and Marlene hide a laugh.

Stirring a pot, Lily says, "You could at least let the girl breathe."

"She smells like sleep, cocoa butter and vanilla. What am I meant to do against that?" He sounds too lovesick, and with the grin on his face, James wishes he had his phone nearby.

Remus solves that problem for him almost immediately. Sirius doesn't even protest.

"Siri, don't you think it's a little pathetic to have to hide under your girlfriend's clothes at night to sleep?" Marlene asks and Sirius pops his head out again.

"Pathetic is you trying to imply you haven't snuggled up next to her on your sleepovers." Marlene throws a chocolate covered almond at him while he just looks at her all pleased and content.

Remus rolls his eyes, "You could at least save it for when you get into your room."

You hide a smile, knowing exactly what Sirius is going to say. You and your boyfriend have this conversation every night you join him back on the sofa instead of in bed.

Sirius doesn't dignify Remus with full view of his face- he moves your shirt just enough that his mouth and nose are visible.

"M'gonna be asleep in a bit anyways. In fact you're all just prolonging when I'll be able to sleep by carrying out an inquisition at near midnight."

You chuckle into your mug, taking a sip as Sirius shuffles up your body and settles again.

"You're a saint, Y/n." James compliments as he watches Sirius' hold on your waist tighten before he starts the movie.

Your boyfriend whines the second your hand falls on his back and you roll your eyes, slipping your hand down his shirt and scratching his back for him.

You can feel Sirius taking deep, lungful breaths of you before his heartbeat slows a bit and his breathing evens out- not even ten minutes into the movie he'd suggested.

"He's a big fucking baby." Marlene marvels at the way Sirius sleeps through the movie, hands around you and face hidden away under your shirt. "You wouldn't even guess he was clingier than Potter."

"Hey!" James groans, but he can't protest, his head is in Lily's lap as he twists and coils strands of his hair. Sirius hasn't even shown them the half of it- James keeps that tidbit to himself.

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i love peer review and getting feedback on my writing

academic praise and degradation

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