letmymindfree

[letmymindfree]

a little something about teenage love stories

"We all want a teenage fantasy" said Jorja Smith in 2017, in her song "Teenage Fantasy". I must admit, she was right. As I am currently living my teenage years, I have recently felt like my life was missing something. Missing on a specific experience of a teen I always dreamt about when younger: a teenage love story.

Growing up, we girls, were always pushed into believing in love. It has been marked in every media we had access too. Movies, cartoons, books or toys. It felt like no woman was complete without a lover, more specifically, a man. Take this: the most independent woman we were exposed to, Barbie, also had to have a man (despite him being useless, in my opinion). Disney Princesses' future is always "and they lived happily ever after" after falling for their prince charming. Love was everywhere and we were raised to believe it was an achievement in life. You HAD to experience the perfect love story.

However, I feel like love has never been pushed on us like it was in coming-of-age movies and series, or more generally, medias representing teenagers. I remember K.C. Undercover, where everytime K.C. got close to a boy, it was a whole event, as if it was abnormal to not have a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend feels like a normal experience for a teen. It was part of how we thought teenage years / high school would be.

And, when you arrive in high school, it is, kind of, that way. My high school social life was rhythmed by the different couples there, the romance drama and, just generally, whatever love story that was going on. Everyone had their thing to say, myself included. I would find myself watching these couples and forming an opinion on each of them, if they looked good together, etc. But I would also fantasize about it, a cute teenage love story that would last forever. I can take as an example a couple in my school: I'm pretty sure they got together before I arrived at the school and are still together TO THIS DAY. And I would see them around school and thought they were the cutest ever. They seemed to love each other out loud (which surprised me for the guy, you know, because masculinity and all that) and were always happy together. Overall, they were just perfect.And I would lie if I said I did not want that too. Yet, I never craved for it, I knew my time would come eventually.

But, recently, as my high school years came to an end, I felt like I missed something by not dating in high school. I had nothing to romanticize about my school years, nothing to talk about other than that I went to class and had friends. At that moment, I realized how it was such an expectation that I had for high school. And overall, for my life. I never imagined myself, in the future, single. It was always: I will go to university AND have a boyfriend, I will be a journalist AND have a boyfriend. So when I realized I didn't have one, I was hit with some regrets. Regrets that came because of my first somewhat attainable high school crush. The first time I felt giddy talking about that one person I never talked to and actually wished something could happen (I still hope, guys, I'm at that point).

And that little hope made me realize that my high school years were over and I was one of the only one (of my friends) who never experienced any type of romance whether it was a touch, a flirt or a simple eye contact. It kind of made me lose hope in a future love but, hey, I'm still young and have a life to live.

I don't think I got anywhere by saying this. Honestly, I'm really just yapping. But anyways, my "story" shows how much this narrative of teenage love has an impact on girls. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who felt like that (and if I am, it's pretty embarrassing).

I don't know if I wanted to come to a conclusion with this whole rant. This mostly was to write about something I recently experienced and made me think a bit. Also, to share my story as one of many examples of how society sculpts girls to make them whoever they want them to be. Overall, what we can get from this is, do not feel pressured to be or do something because it feels like the norm. Your own speed is the right speed as long as you feel comfortable.

[letmymindfree]

welcome to my sideblog, main is here - this blog is dedicated to my yapping and overthinking tendencies

topics i want to talk about - love, relationships, teen years, school, politics (french), society in general

disclaimer - this blog condemns : zionism, transphobia, homophobia, racism, conservatism, sexism, so on and so forth

credits - again, inspo from @brycesfav, @leviscolwill and @louvrepool for this opening page