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[letoiledechue]

I can't forget, I can't forgive you…

An excuse to deep dive the trauma around Sirius being disowned and that wound being something that hasn’t closed due to poor coping mechanisms. Will gladly take an excuse to hash out how relationships were up until being disowned. Dynamics after the disownment and present are another I'll happily chat about. He’s essentially faking it until he makes it and hiding behind forced smiles/pleasantries with the majority of the community that left him behind. Using drinking as an excuse to forget about it/avoid unpacking the damage that was and is still being done.

'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me…

One of the deepest darkest fears for Sirius. Sixteen years of family tolerating him then getting rid of him and seeming perfectly fine with pretending he didn’t exist has him terrified of losing the family he has found. An excuse to explore this would be interesting. I wouldn’t call him clingy but there is definitely a fear of friends growing bored of his antics and disposing of him similarly to how his family did. Whether this is over apologizing from saying something wrong or over reading into someone he’s close to’s behavior and assuming he did something… or something similar.

But I’d rather fake pee than stand awkwardly…

A friend or two from before Sirius got disowned. I would presume there had to be someone he was close to before finding the Marauders, potentially with that lasting until his name got blasted off the tapestry. Unless he was the kid all the other parents cringed at and told their child to stay away from. Either way, someone he was close to. Happy to explore that, having been out of pitying his not exactly fitting in or actually being friends. Friends to enemies is another take I’ll gladly work with. 

I don’t really want to do the work today…

Someone to encourage Sirius to better apply himself (close friend, pureblood passive-aggressively saying so, etc.). Pureblood upbringing and a sharp mind could likely be put to better use outside the bar setting, but he’s perfectly happy to bartend. He likely will not consider switching career paths. That said, getting that thought of seeing if the Ministry or somewhere more professional will take him could get him to start to reconsider being content at the bar.

I’m overcompensating for heartbreak

Sirius has never been good at relationships, often proving to be careless with them and preferring one-night stands over things being serious. Looking to establish a few hookups, exes, and/or anyone he may have been a little too careless about. I hc Sirius as not caring about who he is with as long as a decent shag and/or night spent cuddled up can be promised, so will open this up to anyone. Lovely case of “why would I open up to loving someone else if I can’t love myself” keeping him from having properly dated over the years.

It was giving me hell, so I gave it the same…

Someone that regularly picked on Sirius from Hogwarts onward. Can still be in the habit of doing so. Open to that having been something since childhood if a pureblood picks that connection up. Would love for things to have escalated to Sirius giving the attitude or hexes thrown his way back.

If you’re sad and you know it, and you don’t want to show it, clap your hands…

Sirius could benefit from having a trustworthy person to confide in, especially if their level of trust was established before being disowned, or strengthened afterward.

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"If something happens, you better have a letter in your pocket explaining I had nothing to do with you deciding to fend for yourself," Sirius held both hands up in mock surrender. "Merlin forbid my mother adds it to the never-ending list of things I've done to disgrace her. I suppose this means you'll be disappointed to know I can hold my own as well."

ft. sirius black

If she took into account the anger and hatred Corin must be feeling right now, then maybe Bella would've realized it would be better to have someone near her just on the off chance of an encounter. The last person she would've wanted would be Sirius, more so because he was a blood traitor and a betrayer to their family. "Hm, dangerous, right," She spoke, her tone full of disbelief as though she thought it was funny to see people scared to leave their homes now. "I can hold my own, thank you very much, even against a werewolf or creature like that one they're looking for. Don't need your concern for me, I've never had any in regards to you."

[letoiledechue]

It would have been so simple to give a casual nod and a ‘that’s cool, my best friend is one too,’ as an answer but he didn’t feel confident in doing so. Instead, Sirius offered a nod of his head and a small smile. “I can imagine,” He sighed. “Things would have been even worse if one of the victims got bit.”

His smile grew at the mention of Sleekeazy’s and he gave a low chuckle. “I miss those days of minimal news and nothing overly outlandish making the front page. Makes for an interesting read, but half the time it’s me questioning if they ran out of material.”

Alexander brought up a good point and Sirius couldn’t appreciate being able to acknowledge that. It would have been a lot easier if he could keep his hands and thoughts busier than they currently were. “Rarely,” He admitted with a shake of his head. “I thrive on chaos and this isn’t nearly as chaotic as I’m used to.”

​

“My brother is one,” he finds himself saying, swallowing against the sudden dryness in his throat, “A werewolf.” He is unsure why it’s so difficult for him to say - unsure why he says it at all - and it isn’t as if Mason’s werewolf status was a secret. It was still rare he had said it out loud, avoiding it if it could be helped. “It’s… enlightening, I suppose, to read what they say about them.”

He hadn’t been the biggest fan of the press or ministry, but it paid to keep in the know. “They like to keep us on our toes.” It’s as diplomatic as Alexander could be, or wanted to be, quite happy to be in conversation with the other at the moment. “You would almost miss when Sleekeazy’s latest concoction was front page news,” he muses, wryly. 

“I think a number of people would be surprised by that,” the edge of his mouth lifts, “I’m sure there’ll be other days that you wish it was quieter too, no?” Alexander was the same himself after all, wishing for calm inspite of liking to be kept busy; to keep his mind off of things he would rather not think of.

[letoiledechue]

Location: Diagon Alley @letoiledechue

Rosaline had popped into Moribund's around lunchtime to make sure that the staff had taken inventory of the alcohol that they were going to need to order for the upcoming month and to grab a few letters that needed to be sent by owl post on her way to do some shopping in Diagon Alley. Harrison had some things that she needed to pick up, and she needed to pick up some scar remedy from that apothecary in Diagon Alley, she could never remember its name. But someone had said that she should try to see if they had anything that might help. Lost in thought, she bumped into someone.

"You really should watch where you're going," Rosaline snapped like she hadn't been the one to bump into them. It took her a moment to realize that it was none other than Sirius Black. She had mixed feelings about him, truly. Rosaline was jealous that he did what he wanted and ignored the consequences, but she could never say that out loud. It would be a betrayal to Narcissa and she wouldn't do that. "Oh. I would say it's lovely to see you but we both know that's a lie."

[letoiledechue]

"Only some things," Sirius shook his head. Certainly, it had been easy to act like he had it all together while in Hogwarts, but even that had been emotionally taxing once it came to being disowned. Well-known knowledge and the response of explosive anger or frustration taking over properly coping with things. It was a miracle McGonagall hadn't given detentions until he graduated.

"Somehow missed that," He admitted and shook his head. "I can only imagine the chaos that must have ensued, though." The topic was enough to make him uneasy, but he wouldn't let on to it - not when personal friends with a werewolf. There was merely the matter of worrying about what the Ministry would do as a way of tightening the grip they had on the werewolves. "I presume you must have been an asset out there."

Gilderoy pulled out the chair bar stool beside him, inviting Sirius to sit. He thought back to his Hogwarts years, thinking that part of the reason he didn't like Sirius was due to Gilderoy's own jealously. Sirius was a gifted wizard who claimed fame and praise without the hard work Gilderoy had to constantly put in.

"What would you be busy with anyway? Everything comes so easily to you." he beamed, trying to keep his charming facade up. "I bet you would have kicked some werewolf ass last night if you had the chance."

@letoiledechue

[letoiledechue]

sirius black is the kind of guy who winks at the sky after lily told him about aliens

[letoiledechue]

"As can I," Sirius muttered. Admittedly, it wasn't exactly his best idea to be staying out later than he had to. Couldn't exactly blame him for finding the quiet and lack of people calming in a way. The curfew was the only thing that sucked about it.

"I could happily call that bench home for the night," Sirius chuckled. "Alas, there's a warm bed waiting for me back home. Quite a shame, really, since I would love to hear the howler if word got back to Walburga."

Andra supposed that Sirius did have a point. She was pulling him up on being out late when she was doing exactly the same thing. Technically she was on her way home. She could have done that without stopping to tease Sirius. But Andra sometimes liked being a nuisance, and when an opportunity arose for her to bring out her ice cold bitchy side even more, she was going to take it.

"I can look after myself." Of course, she knew he could too. But she didn't care about that right now. "I'm also heading home, you don't seem to be. Unless you're calling this bench your home now"

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"Safety in numbers," Sirius made a face at repeating the very phrase he began the conversation with. He kept a pleasant tone despite the insult toward his occupation. Nothing to get upset over until throwing insults about his friends came about. "It's supposedly dangerous. It would be such a shame if something were to happen to you and someone reported seeing me as the last person you were with. I doubt anyone would get the wrong idea, but our mothers would have a field day."

ft. sirius black

While she didn't care where or what Sirius did in his life without the Black family, she had been forced to keep a few tabs as the war grew on. More than likely expecting him and his little friends to be in league with Dumbledore. "Ah yes, the meager job of serving to the masses," She spoke, her tone clear that she related his bartending to the service of those inferior to her. Like elves. "Why would I need your company?" The witch spoke, one eye brow raised at the idea of willingly letting her estranged cousin be her 'protection'. "I'm a far more experienced witch than you are, dear cousin, I don't need protection. Especially not from you."

[letoiledechue]

on and on

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[letoiledechue]

"It's not that bad," Sirius sneered. "Cobblestone has some charm, and the shopowners have gotten terrifyingly friendly now that I've reached the status of regularly frequenting the area." That much he didn't mind letting slip since the bartender gig was where the majority of his weeknights were spent. "I would hate to keep you from going," He shrugged. "Do you need me to accompany you out of the alley as an extra safety precaution?"

ft. sirius black

"There are far better places to enter than here," Bella sneering, her eyes casting a disgusted look in their vicinity before landing on him again. "But unfortunately, even I have to pass by the likes of this place on my way out." Not like it was any of Sirius' buisness, though she'd rather keep him under the impression she was leaving rather than just migrating her way through the alley looking for anything. Certainly not looking for the missing werewolf that him and his little friends were no doubt looking for as well.

[letoiledechue]

"The change was needed," He admitted with a chuckle, an eyebrow rising up in thought at the suggestion of a mustache. Facial hair wasn't exactly something he put a lot of thought into past joking since, well, he severely lacked in that department, so it was easiest to simply stick to scruff or get rid of it altogether. "Are we talking antagonistic mustache that curls on the ends or something that's long enough to almost hit my feet?"

She snorted softly, letting her gaze dance swiftly over Sirius' new hair. It was a rarity that there was room left for this sort of nonsensical cheer, but Sirius had always been masterful at grasping the good amidst the bad. Patrol stopped short, she offered a little nod. "The glitter suits you." Maybe she could do with a touch-up, too. It's always nice to pamper yourself in times of great stress. "I'm personally voting on you growing out an absolutely ridiculous mustache."

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“Precisely,” Sirius murmurs and shakes his head. “Out of sight out of mind is the saying, isn’t it?” It was one he had gotten familiar with while growing up but the context was certainly different when it came to being a kid avoiding his parents and thinking about werewolves.

“I would hope not,” He sighs. “But you can never tell with the press or the Ministry. It’ll be badmouthing werewolves and fixating on the twelve days out of the year where they wolf out until something more exciting comes along.” He could have gone deeper on the matter, but he was feeling pleasant enough to not get into a whole debate over things.

“They must be,” He gives another sigh, this one more exasperated sounding than the first. “I’m usually dealing with orders upon orders by now, and it’s been… How awful is it that I was relieved you showed up?” Sirius shakes his head after speaking. “I picked up the shift figuring it would be more entertaining than currently advertised.”

He hums in agreement, nodding his head. “Yes, werewolves.” The pill he had to swallow still proved difficult to digest, often left to wonder why Mason hadn’t told him anything. Alexander wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, the most gifted wizard but he knew that he would’ve done something for his brother. Difficult as it might have been, or still was, for that information to exist along-side the values his parents had embedded in him. “Everyone seems to forget about them until the full moon rolls around.” 

“Are we expecting something more terrifying?” He asks, the question lilted with a modicum of amusement, even if he had reservations about hearing the answer. The art of conversation often came easy to him when out and about, most of his work had predicated itself on him being able to do so, he found he enjoyed chatting for the most part.

“A slow work day can drag though.” No winning where he was concerned, often either sitting at his desk trying to wile away the hours or not having enough time in the day to get everything he needed to done. “I guess people might be afraid,” the admittance comes after a beat, more casual than it perhaps should have been not wanting to weigh down the conversation. A habit of his - to carry on as normal, show no sign of weakness - “I suppose it’s only natural.”

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"Here I was concerned you were okay with leaving me in charge of creating an alcohol concoction," He chuckled. "Remus didn't appreciate the last one I created, and I'm still a little offended." Sirius would get over it eventually, but he needed a moment of dramatics to solidify the offense. "Uneventful until hearing about what happened here," He murmured. "Were you okay?" There was no denying he still felt a little uneasy at having been gone that night.

"Yeah, probably not the best idea. I am supposed to go back to work at some point so I shouldn't be drunk for that." Lily gave a shrug and a cheeky grin. "I guess just a butterbeer, then." Lily leaned forward with her elbows on the bar and took a moment to think about his question before she gave him some bullshit answer. She hadn't been part of any of the chaos of the night before and had only arrived to see the aftermath, but anytime something like this happened in the wizarding community, it shook Lily. A world that had once seemed like a dream felt far more like a nightmare as this war continued to heat up. She sighed and gave Sirius a shrug. "I'm okay. I guess I should have expected something like this at a ministry event, but I let myself get lured into a false sense of security. How are you?" She lowered her voice. "How was last night for you guys?"

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The bike was an excellent way of keeping him distracted, with the day’s work having been more of an excuse to do something with his hands than anything else. “I would call it a tune-up”  He chuckled before tossing a glance in her direction. “But I replaced the wheels so that’s a little much compared to my usual.” A clear giveaway to feeling a little stressed out if he was being honest, but the bike had always counted as a safe alternative to cope with his thoughts.

“Not much for today, alarmingly,” He admitted and shook his head, not bothering to disguise the smirk that wanted to make its way over his lips. “It’s going to need a test run now that the wheels got switched and you arrived just in time. Down to double checking fluid levels and adjusting the seat, then we can go if you’re up to it?”

Where: Rental storage unit Who: @letoiledechue

The stench of oil hit her nose the second she entered the place. At first petrol, mechanics and well - everything - that had come with Sirius working on the bike had made her nose scrunch. Now? It was so familiar it was almost comforting. It just smelt like him now. "Don't tell me you've broken it again-" The witch hummed, as she hopped onto the work bench, crossed her legs as she watched with a quirked eye brow and amused grin. "Which tree did you fly into this time?" Marlene accused with a teasing smirk dancing on her face as she lit a muggle cigarette with a snap of her fingers. Pausing to take a drag, she tilted her head ever so slightly away from him as she blew the curls of smoke from her red lips. It was no surprise to find him here really, it seemed they were all trying to find comfort ever since the spring equinox. Something familiar to keep minds from wondering to places they shouldn't. While she would play it off as wanting to check up on him, really that day the distraction she really wanted was just her friend's company. The familiarity of him and the stupidity of the jokes he could make was all she really needed. "So- what's it going to take for you to finally give me a ride of this thing?"

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"Only just got off work," Sirius answered, pausing a moment to think over what Andra said. "Perhaps both. Wouldn't that mean the same for you, given how late it is?"

Perhaps not in his best interest to take her question and return it, but he couldn't help but be curious. Well, that and being stubborn enough to not allow someone to chastise him for being out in the open when they were doing exactly the same.

Where: Middle of Diagon Alley

When: Late, day after the attack

Who: Sirius and Andra ( @letoiledechue )

It was late when Andra had left the White Wyvern. She hadn't intended to stay so late, but the conversation with Bellatrix had been quite interesting. Of course, Andra still wanted to actually be in France, and she was contemplating just returning there. She was pulled from her thoughts at the sight of a familiar person sat on a bench. Andra probably should have walked on past Sirius Black, but she was feeling a little reckless tonight.

"Sitting on a bench after dark in these times? You're either brave or incredibly stupid." Or, actually. He was probably both.

[letoiledechue]

The shift in Regulus’ posture nearly earned a chuckle. Fortunately, for Regulus anyway, he wasn’t in a particularly bad mood. There would be no pushing his point of view unless absolutely necessary, and Lucius was hardly worthy of the effort and energy required in doing so.

This time, the bark of a laugh escaped, earning a shake of Sirius’ head before he said anything. “Not low enough to need to do so,” He shrugged. “You will be relieved to know I have yet to need to do anything dramatic in regards to further proving I’m a disgrace to the Black family name.” The words were spoken as though that was a challenge, earning a smug look since he was perfectly content with things being read as he had something planned if it came down to it.

“Could have been the alcohol,” Sirius admitted with a dismissive shrug. While he wasn’t too appreciative of immediately shifting to bashing muggle food, he could remain civil as long as Regulus was.

“You’ll have to enlighten me on that,” He admitted. “Food has been food as long as it tastes decent.

Regulus drew himself up as Sirius continued in his dislike of Lucius, spine straightening, shoulders lifting, only for Sirius to back down and leave Regulus with his arguments for why Lucius was a good man unvoiced. It seemed hardly fair. Lucius deserved a defence. He had been there when Sirius had abandoned them. He deserved more than Regulus' silence.

But Sirius...

Regulus bit his tongue.

"Tolerating the idea of begging for money, how low have you sunken?" Regulus asked, eyebrow raised. Then he sighed, shoulders slumping. "It's not... the weather is tolerable. Perhaps I might like to take the spring air. I imagine it might be good for my constitution. I seem to recall that there is a lovely park with some rather secluded areas." He could certainly look to take a picnic there, should Sirius wish to talk, and it was much safer than being seen somewhere proper.

Head cocked at Sirius' 'Thank Merlin', yet another sign that he may have truly cared for him? He did not understand it. Sirius had made the very conscious decision to leave the family. It confused him. "Muggle food will do that to you," Regulus nodded sagely, in response to Sirius' stomach ache. It only made sense. And it was easier to focus on than Sirius' relief. "I'll only buy good, wizarding food for the picnic, just to be safe."