lets-just-daydream

[lets-just-daydream]

I Loved You First Chapter 14: The Climax

A knock at your door caused you to stir from your sleep. “Five more minutes,” you grumbled, pulling the sheets tighter around you. 

The door opened and your mother's voice filtered through the sheets. “I'm afraid not dear, it's the big day! Violet, run a bath won't you?” Your mother's voice moved about your room. “Always so bloody dark in here.”

You heard her fiddle with the ropes holding the curtains and you sat up instantly. “No! Don't open them!” You cried as your hands flew out in front of you. 

You glanced over at Violet who had quickly retreated into the bathroom and stared at you wide-eyed. Your mother deadpanned at you and rolled her eyes. “I know you're tired but we need some sunlight in here - gods know your foul mood is probably because it's so dark in here.”

You mouthed an apology to Violet who stood in the bathroom and nodded gratefully before she worked on filling the bathtub. 

“You could show some excitement, it's your wedding day, after all,” your mother continued as she walked over to the side of the bed and took to your hand, standing you up and looking at you with a smile. “It was quite the journey to get here, wouldn't you say?” 

Your teeth gritted together and you gulped. “Yes. Quite the journey, which you forced me on, might I remind you.” 

Your mother's nostrils flared and she dropped your hands. “You're about to marry a lord of Baldur's Gate! You'll have this palace, a lady's maid and a fine life where you'll want for nothing. Why are you still fighting us on this even now?” Your mother asked, exasperated. 

“Because I don't love him ,” you said. 

Your mother took a deep breath as she looked at you and she caressed your cheek with her thumb. “My darling, you read too many of those romance novels. Do you think your father and I loved each other when we married? Do you think any of these marriages in the Gate are made of love? Don't be naïve.”  

You sighed and stepped past your mother into the bathroom. “I need a bath,” you murmured before shutting the door and leaning against it, looking up at Violet. 

She fussed about the tub adding oils and flowers and fragrances. 

“Thank you, Violet. Sorry about my mother, she's… a piece of work.” 

You could hear your mother still on the other side of the door moving around your room and presumably getting your things ready for the day. You looked down at the ground glumly. She could only offer you a sympathetic smile as she helped you undress and step into the bath. 

“I know you usually bathe alone but I can't… with the sun,” Violet said, gesturing awkwardly towards the closed bathroom door. 

“Of course,” you said, pointing at the little wooden stool. “Feel free to sit with me if you like.”

Violet's eyes widened. “Are you sure? I don't think that's appropriate, perhaps I can help you bathe?” 

You let out a chuckle as you began to scrub yourself. “When have you ever known me to be appropriate?”

The tension left Violet's body and she let out a small laugh and perched on the stool, her back straight and hands on her knees. There was a stunted silence between you and the only sound in the room was the swishing of the water as you washed yourself. 

“I appreciate your discretion and kindness to me, you know,” you said, breaking the silence. 

Violet looked up at you as you continued. 

“You could have easily been cruel to me, and told Cazador the whole truth about Astarion and I.” 

Violet hummed and pressed her lips together. “In all honesty, my lady, I would have had every reason to in the beginning, but I've never met someone as genuine as you. And I don't know of many people who could learn about our vampirism and continue to be so open-minded. 

“I've met so many people who have tried to kill me and treat me cruelly. We all have, and at the hands of our own master who has whored us out for connections and power and I was so sure that this would be my life for the rest of eternity. But you're so adamant you can put an end to this that I can't help but give in to the glimmer of hope you give us. Foolish as I may be.” 

Your heart swelled at Violet's words. It was nice to hear that you had her support and that you provided a sense of hope and comfort that she likely hasn't experienced in centuries. You wanted out of this marriage and to end Cazador for yourself and Astarion, but now you felt a sense of duty towards Violet and by extension the other spawn. There was no way you could back out of this now. 

“You’re not foolish,” you said quickly. “I'll do everything in my power to free you, all of you, from him.” 

The pair of you shared a hopeful smile and you finished washing yourself as Violet washed and brushed your hair. You tried not to think too hard about the day ahead but your beating heart and jittery nerves kept getting the better of you. You tried to think of anything else, of Astarion, of any books you'd read lately and then it hit you. Violet had proven she was trustworthy and she wanted out of this as much as you and Astarion did. And with the whirlwind of everything lately, you hadn't given much thought to the rite at all. 

“Violet?” You asked, as she helped you step out of the bath. 

“Yes, my lady?” 

“Have you heard of something called… the Rite of Profane Ascension?” 

Violet hummed as she dried you off and began rubbing lotion on your legs. “I don't know about profane ascension, but I do recall the master telling us of an important rite that we all needed to be present for. That it would give us all new vampiric powers.” 

You froze, your eyes wide. “He's talked to you about it?”

“Yes. I hope you'll wait until after this rite to kill him. I'm… tired of being a spawn.” 

You pursed your lips together and cursed Cazador to the bowels of the hells. “Well, actually…” 

The door to the bathroom swung open and your mother stood in the doorway. Violet shied away from the sunlight that crept to her feet and you looked up at your mother in annoyance. 

“Are you going to spend the whole day in this bloody bathroom, come on . We still have to style your hair,” your mother harped as she took you by the arm and into your room. “Apply your makeup and dress you. Honestly…” Your mother tutted and continued as she sat you on the seat in front of your mirror. 

After convincing your mother to close the curtains by telling her it was to preserve your delicate skin, Violet was freed from the bathroom. You spent the next several hours with your hair being pulled into place, rouge and lip stains of different hues applied and then wiped off until the perfect shade of red was found, your eyes lined with kohl and lashes and your hair immaculately pinned into place. 

“Alright darling, up you come,” your mother said as she pulled your wedding dress from the closet. 

You stood and looked at the dress, your heart in your throat as you gritted your teeth to hold it together. Once you put the dress on, that was it. Your veil and jewelry would come on, all picked out by Cazador and then you'd be handed off to him. Whether you and Astarion could actually kill him after all of this was over was another demon to face that you needed to stay strong for. For you, for him, for Violet. “Oh, hang on…” She found a box with tissue paper in the bottom of your closet and you groaned, recognising it as the vulgar gift from Cazador he had given you upon returning from his travels. Your mother gave you a sly smile. “I think you should put these on under your dress, my darling.” You wanted to wrench the box from your mother’s hands and throw it into the fireplace but you pasted on a forced smile, gritting through your teeth. “Very well.” You dressed into the lacy undergarments,somehow managing not to throw up before you took a deep breath and stepped into your wedding dress. You stared at your reflection in the mirror as your mother and Violet laced up the corset, your breaths coming out sharp and shallow as the fiddled. Then came your veil and your earrings and bracelets, remembering that Cazador wanted your neck bare for him. You shuddered. 

Your mother and Violet stepped away to look at you, a complete perfect bride. Your mother's eyes glistened with tears of joy as she pulled you in for a hug. 

“I'm so proud of you, darling,” she whispered. “A marriage to a fine lord of Baldur's Gate. What more could you want?” 

You rolled your eyes and looked over at Violet past your mother's shoulder who repressed a laugh. 

Your mother pulled away, kissed your cheek and left your room to dress herself. Violet gave you a small bow but you stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. She stiffened against you and you stammered out an apology, pulling away. But her arms tightened around you and she shared an embrace with you before she also left the room, your door clicking shut behind her. 

Now alone, you finally took a good look at your reflection. Reddened cheeks, red lips, elegant dress and precious jewels. You made quite the pretty picture - you couldn't lie, you looked stunning as much as you hated to admit it. But you were dressed up to be wed to the wrong man. You sighed and sat on the ottoman, trying to keep from crying and ruining your makeup at the thought that your wedding day really was here and you really were about to be married to Cazador. Astarion's face flitted past the forefront of your mind and a bittersweet smile grew on your lips as you let yourself daydream that he was who you were about to be wed to. 

He'd be at the end of the aisle, his hair coiffed perfectly as usual and dressed in gorgeous clothes that he sewed himself. His red eyes would gleam with happiness as you reached him and he'd hold your hands in his, hardly paying attention to the cleric and smiling down at you with his fangs just slightly peeking out past his lips.

A sudden knock on your door pulled you from your reverie with a jolt. That would be your cue to get downstairs and meet your father for him to give you away. You scoffed and then took a deep breath before standing and walking over to the door. You gulped and took another deep breath because whether it was the nerves or the corset, you felt like you weren't getting enough air. You opened the door and were quickly pushed back into your bedroom by a pair of strong arms. 

“What the fu–” you started as you looked up at Astarion who had stepped into your room and was shutting your door behind him. “Astarion.”

“Darling,” he breathed, taking your hand in his and planting a kiss on your palm. “I had to see you before… you know,” he said slowly, running a hand through his white locks. 

The tears that had been welling in your eyes all morning finally fell as you blinked up at him. “I knew this day was coming but… I can't believe it's here already.” 

“I know, my love. I know,” he whispered, wiping your tears away. 

Astarion wrapped his arms around you and held you against his chest as he traced the pattern of fabric over your chest. 

“For what it's worth, you make a beautiful bride.” 

“I'm still going to kill him, Astarion,” you said, pulling back to look up at him with determination in your eyes. “I may have to go through with this and marry him but I'm not spending my life by his side. Whether he makes me his bride or not.” 

“I'll be right there with you,” Astarion said. 

You smiled up at him and let out a dejected sigh. “I suppose I should…” you gestured at the door. 

“One thing, first,” Astarion said, his hand fishing something out of his pocket. 

He held it up and you recognised the necklace you bought for him whilst Cazador was away. When you had first told him that you love him. 

“You still have it,” you whispered, not realising how much your gift really meant to Astarion until now. 

“Of course I do. I did tell you that it's my most treasured possession,” Astarion said with a smile as he turned you around to place the necklace around your neck. 

He finished and turned you back around with a smile on his lips. “Beautiful,” he murmured. 

You looked down at your chest and admired the pendant that rested between your breasts. Astarion pressed his palm to it and kissed your forehead before then claiming your lips carefully so as not to ruin your makeup. Your heart raced and as you were about to kiss him back, he pulled away. 

“I can't wait to have you again,” he whispered. 

Your breathing quickened and you wrapped your arms around his neck, staring into his red eyes. He looked down at you with a desperate and pained look on his face. “Soon enough, I promise,” you whispered. “This stupid dress,” you added with a laugh as you gave him a quick peck on his lips and released him from your grip. 

“I should…” You glanced at the door. 

Astarion cleared his throat. “Right.” 

“I'll… umm…” 

Astarion stepped aside and you opened the door, locking eyes with him as he stepped forward and pressed his nose to your neck, inhaling your scent before pulling away and tapping your ass to usher you out. You let out a little laugh and walked into the hallway, your mother rushing over from the staircase. 

“There you are sweetheart, I was just coming to get you now, it's time.” 

Your heart pounded so violently in your chest, it felt like it was going to break through your ribcage. You took your mother's offered hand and followed her to the staircase, taking a deep breath as you looked down and saw your father waiting for you as guests filed out to the ballroom, leaving just you and your parents in the foyer of the palace. You and your mother walked down the steps as your body began to shake. Your mother pecked you on the cheek and gave you a smile before also slipping into the ballroom. 

You turned to face your father and he beamed down at you. “You made it, darling.” 

“Mm,” you hummed, looking down at your feet as you tried to suck air back into your lungs and even out your erratic breathing. 

“A lady with a palace, a title, money and a place in high society by Lord Cazador Szarr’s side. What more could you ever want?” Your father continued as he walked you to the ballroom. 

‘I could think of a couple of things…’ You thought to yourself. 

You stood in front of the closed ballroom doors which were flanked by non-vampiric servants of the palace. Your father nodded at them and they flung the doors open. The orchestra in the corner of the ballroom swelled with a bridal march and you tried to take deep breaths to keep yourself from passing out. Nerves, trepidation, denial, and the eyes of the lords and ladies of the Gate made a potent mix that made your head spin. 

Your father's grip on your elbow tightened and he looked down at you with a smile before walking you down the aisle. Your head buzzed and you focused on the carpet under your feet, not daring to look up at Cazador who was waiting for you at the end of the altar. 

This wall felt like it was lasting forever, but when you finally made it to the end, you finally looked up to see Cazador who smiled down at you with a self-assured smile. He was dressed in finery of lavish red and black silks that were tailored to perfectly fit his frame. 

“My beautiful bride,” Cazador greeted you smoothly, taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to it. 

“M-my lord,” you stammered, trying to keep your voice even. 

You felt sick to the stomach and the discomfort only increased as the cleric began to speak; welcoming your guests, speaking rites and making declarations of your union before the gods. You glanced to the side and saw your mother and father sitting arm in arm, beaming up at you. You felt like walking over and slapping the smiles off their faces. This wasn't a happy day, this was the beginning of a death sentence. 

You skimmed the walls behind Cazador and spotted his spawn, all standing together and watching. It seemed not even on his own wedding day would Cazador spare the expense of giving them new clothing. If anyone had mentioned it to you, you would have had a tailor sent here to dress them. One of many things you wanted to try and change if you were given the chance. 

But killing Cazador was still at the forefront of your mind. You didn't want to be his wife, you didn't want to be the lady of this manor and you had no interest in joining him in whatever grand plans he had for the city. He wouldn't live long enough to see any of them come to fruition if you had it your way. 

“I will,” Cazador’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and you looked up at him to see he was looking down at you with a soft smile, a black ring encrusted in rubies in his hand that he was sliding onto your finger. 

Your eyes widened and your heart thumped wildly in your chest. No, no, no. You wanted to scream. You looked beyond Cazador's face and over to Astarion who was watching with a sickened expression. 

You would have him. He would have you. Cazador was going to leave the picture and the world of the living soon enough but to be married to him was a slap from reality. Your lip twitched and you felt like you could throw up. You looked over at the cleric who gestured to Violet behind you, who handed you a matching black wedding band with one ruby in the center of it. 

The cleric continued. “Before these people and before the gods, with this ring will you marry this man? With your body, will you worship him? Will you share with him your worldly possessions if he is poor and care for him in sickness?”

Cazador extended his hand to you in order for you to slide the ring onto his finger. The cleric paused and waited for your answer as your eyes darted from him, to Cazador and to Astarion. Your pale-haired lover gave you a small, reassuring smile and you took a deep breath as you stared at him.  

“I will.”

You looked down and slid the ring onto Cazador's finger and the cleric continued. “Witness the union of this man and woman as husband and wife in the view of the gods. You may kiss your bride.” 

Your heart dropped as you realised that yes, this was a normal part of the wedding process. You'd have to kiss your new husband. You'd have to kiss Cazador. Your stomach turned as Cazador leaned in and parted his lips to press a forceful kiss against yours. You didn't want to. You needed this to work and you needed him to buy that you were going through with this willingly. You parted your lips slightly and met him in the middle as the ballroom erupted in applause, cheers and whistles. 

Cazador pulled away and you resisted the urge to wipe your mouth clean. The scent of his perfumes stuck in your nostrils and you looked up at him with what you hoped was a convincing smile as he beamed down at you. 

“At last,” he said, as he turned you both to face everyone before you and wave. “At last my plans are coming to fruition. And I have you to thank for that, my Bride.” 

Cazador took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, and all you wanted to do was throw up. He took your hand in his and then walked you back down the aisle as the orchestra began a slow number. You were worried that Cazador was pulling you into a dance straight away but he escorted you to the front of the room where beside his elegant, ornamental throne sat a new throne that was slightly smaller. 

He extended his hand and guided you to the throne. “A throne for you to rule by my side, my bride.” 

You glanced at Cazador and then back at the throne before reluctantly taking a seat. You looked across the ballroom as people began to stand, mingle and take drinks from silver trays held by waiters. 

“Well, you've done your part perfectly,” Cazador said to you, taking your hand. “We're married and all of the lords and ladies of importance were here to bear witness.” 

Cazador looked coolly across the room as a man approached the steps to your thrones. 

“I believe congratulations are in order, my lord,” the man said before turning to you, taking your hand and placing a kiss to your hand as he bowed. “My lady. Lord Szarr, I hope to see you at Lord Clarenbald’s ball?” 

You watched the corner of Cazador's lip quirk up. “Of course. I look forward to seeing you there, Viscount Ancelin.” 

All these names, all these lords and ladies who you didn't know and quite frankly care about. But Cazador was in his element. He'd finally got what he wanted for what must have been centuries, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But it was a shame, you figured, that he wouldn't live long enough to enjoy it. 

You gazed upon the room and spotted Violet who seemed to be flirting with a guest. She laughed, placing a hand on the man's shoulder before tucking her hair behind her ear. Good for her, you thought with a small smile. You then spotted Yousen, doing the same thing with another guest. Flirty touches and well-placed smiles. Your heart dropped and eyes widened until you found Astarion who had a drink in hand, offering charming smiles and whispering in his target's ear. You turned to Cazador. 

“Are you getting them to prey on our wedding guests?” You whispered harshly. 

Cazador turned to you with a glare. “They do what I say and what I say is to gather secrets of the lords and ladies in attendance,” Cazador said haughtily   “Imagine, dear wife, if several of our guests went missing. That would not be a good look for us, would it?” 

“No…” You replied. “What secrets are you after? How do they get them?” 

Cazador rolled his eyes before slicking his hair back. “Unpaid debts, bastard children, torrid affairs. I want them all. And my darling… children use any means necessary to satisfy my curiosity.” 

You remembered back to the night you saw Astarion in the entrance with a girl he'd picked up in the city and you instantly felt nauseous. You turned away from Cazador but his hand found yours in an iron grip. 

“I have aspirations that I will stop at nothing to achieve. I suggest you stay on my good side, my dear wife,” Cazador said through gritted teeth. 

You met his glare with your own, about to ask if these “aspirations” had anything to do with the tome you find about the Rite of Profane Ascension but you were interrupted by another slew of well-wishers. 

This was going to be a long day. 

[lets-just-daydream]

look at my girl and her man im IN LOVE OK

Commission for @absolutelydegenerateme of Zora and Raphael sharing a sweet moment ✨ thank you so much!

[lets-just-daydream]

i know it's not a fic but look at my giiirrrrlllll

Portrait gift commission from @pursuitseternal to @absolutelydegenerateme of their Tav Zora — thanks so very much!

[lets-just-daydream]

The FMC in I loved you first better than me lmao. If I was her I’d be like well if this is my last night before becoming a vampire I’d eat all that I possibly could to savor it lmaooo

lmao u so real for that

[lets-just-daydream]

I Loved You First

Chapter 13: Places, everyone!

“My love…” A smooth, familiar voice whispered in your ear.

You nuzzled into your pillow, closer towards the voice with a small smile on your face. “Astarion…” You whispered back.

His lips met your ear in a kiss and tingles erupted all over your skin.

“I love you,” he whispered, his breath tickling your ear.

“I love–”

A knock on your door woke you, pulling you from your dream with a start. You pressed your hand to your forehead and groaned, recalling the events of last night. Astarion in those vile kennels and his confession to you. That had broken your heart, honestly. Of course it had. You thought what you and Astarion had was… love. Your face soured at the thought, half chastising yourself for being so stupid. Then you also remembered Cazador's own confession which had shocked you, but at least you didn't have to pretend to like each other anymore.

Of everything, Astarion telling you that his feelings were fake, that he was seducing you for his own gain… it was the most heartbreaking thing you’d felt. Perhaps in your whole life. His feelings had seemed so genuine and as you replayed the last few weeks in your head, you felt like a fool for falling for it. And perhaps you felt like an even bigger fool for still missing him.

You didn't just miss him. Your heart ached for him. You yearned for him.

Another knock at the door. You sighed.

“Who is it?”

Violet's voice came through the door. “It's me, my lady.”

“Come in,” you called back, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

“Good morning,” she greeted, her hands clasped in front of her as she walked in.

Violet hovered in the doorway, her lips pursed and her body language stiff. Uncomfortable.

“What is it?” You asked, keeping your irritation at bay. Whatever your current battle, it wasn't her fault.

“Y-your wedding is tomorrow, my lady,” she said. “And Lord Cazador is planning for a rehearsal this evening.”

You rolled your eyes and dropped back into your pillows, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes. “Of course he is,” your voice came out muffled under the pillows and blankets. “As if things could get any worse.”

Violet only gave you a sympathetic look and walked to your closet to pick out clothes for you for the day.

“I think I'll spend the day hidden away in the library until someone comes looking for me,” you murmured as you sat up once again and swung your legs over the edge of the bed.

Violet hummed and helped dress you before you sat on the ottoman in front of your dresser and stared at your reflection. Tell tales of a rough night of sleep made themselves known as you stared. You had slight bags under your eyes and your hair was a mess. You jumped when suddenly you felt Violet brushing your hair, her lack of reflection catching you unaware.

“I suppose the cat is out of the proverbial bag,” you said, turning your head slightly to look at her.

“Yes,” she replied. “Master Cazador told us that you know of our vampirism.”

Master Cazador… You shuddered and looked back at your reflection, slightly disconcerted that your hair appeared to be moving around all on its own.

“Vio–”

“I told you to be careful, my lady. The master is on a rampage now. Any slight misstep and we're all being beaten or taken straight to the kennels.”

Your eyes dropped to your lap and you fiddled with your fingers. Yes, she had warned you and you thought you could continue your blissful double life until the time to strike. But now you'd made a mess of everything for yourself, for Astarion, and for the rest of the spawn. Your cheeks warmed in shame and embarrassment, feeling responsible for their mistreatment.

“I'm sorry,” you whispered. “I…” You trailed off as tears welled in your eyes.

Violet sighed and finished your hair. “That was unfair of me and I forget my place.”

“No, but you're right,” you turned in your chair and looked up at Violet. “I'll make this right. I don't know how, yet. I'll make a new plan and… I don't know yet.”

You weren't sure if the rest of the vampires were privy to Cazador’s plan to undertake the Rite of Profane Ascension. You wanted to tell Violet but she and the rest of the spawn were at their master's mercy and unable to fight back. You were going to fight this fight for them and for yourself. They deserve better, you deserve better and you'll fight for it before you submit to Cazador. Though it seemed your plan might no longer include Astarion, you were determined to take this oppressor down.

You of course found yourself in the library, curtains drawn open to let the sunshine stream in since you didn't much feel like being disturbed and doubted Astarion was going to come seek you out after last night's ordeal. Or ever, now that you really thought about it. But that thought made your heart hurt and you didn't dwell on it for long at all. You sat back in a plush armchair with your head cradled in your hand and a book over your lap.

You heard voices outside the door to the library, your brows furrowing.

“--speak to her, Astarion.”

“If you don't mind your own–”

You strained to hear but the door opened and you were met with a scowling Astarion and annoyed Violet. He peered into the room and saw you sitting there, bathed in sunlight. He and Violet stepped back and you stood quickly, fiddling with the fastenings around the curtains and pulling them closed. Violet shoved Astarion into the room and he stumbled in before Violet turned and left.

“What are you doing here, Astarion? You made your feelings quite clear yesterday.”

You looked back down at your book, feigning disinterest but your heart beat in your chest, desperate for him. Yearning.

“Well,” he hesitates before schooling himself back into confidence. “Yes, but Violet believed I should speak with you.”

He may not love you, the thought made you gulp and a hollow feeling in your heart grew, but you still had a common enemy and goal. He wanted Cazador dead and you wanted out of this marriage, if Cazador had to die to achieve that then so be it.

You take a deep breath. “Actually I'm glad you're here.” He gives you a rakish smirk and you roll your eyes. “Not for that reason. Not like you'd care anyway.”

You missed Astarion's brows knitting together before you looked back up at him and continued. “My feelings regarding being here and marrying Cazador haven't changed. I still need your help and I assume you don't want to become some sacrificial lamb.”

Astarion turned and shut the door to the library before approaching and standing over you in your chair. His cool hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you out of your seat and in amongst the stack of shelves, pushing you against them. “Are you trying to get me killed?”

You remained cool and distant. You couldn't let him know that despite his betrayal, your heart still ached for him. “The way I see it, you're dead if he goes through with that ritual. And he doesn't control me, so I'm your best chance at freedom,” you said, crossing your arms. “We kill him, I'll leave this godsforsaken palace once and for all and you do… whatever it is you do.”

Astarion's eyes flicked around the room before landing back on you. “My lady…” Astarion hesitated, his hand twitching around your wrist.

You crossed your arms over your chest and pulled away from his hand, hating how wrong that title sounded from Astarion's tongue. “Don't call me that,” you muttered.

There was a pause in which you stared at each other, but said nothing. Astarion had the decency to look ashamed at least, and you tried your best to look like you didn't care.

“About yesterday,” Astarion suddenly said, drawing to his full height and looking down his nose at you. “I hope there are no hard feelings. I'm as desperate to get out of my… situation as you are.”

Your eyes narrowed at him and you scoffed. “‘No hard feelings?’ Really? That's all you have to say?”

Astarion's jaw hardened and he stepped closer to you, his scent wafting over your nose. “I apologised already, what more do you want?”

Your eye twitched and it took all of your self control not to lunge at him. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to me if your master decided to toss me aside for having let you deflower me?”

It was Astarion's turn to scoff now. “Deflower you? Nothing we did was without your enthusiastic consent,” he said, stepping so close that his nose nearly touched yours. Your heavy breathing all but made his lashes flutter. “So don't play the blushing maid now when only two days ago you were a mess beneath me; whimpering, screaming my name and begging for more,” he mocked with a snarl.

Before you could think about your own actions, the crack of your palm against his cheek was your response. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open in the beginnings of a stammered apology. You were rendered speechless when Astarion grabbed the wrist of the offending hand and pulled you flush against him, his angry eyes boring down into yours.

You squeezed your eyes shut and opened your mouth to apologise but his hands tightened around your wrists before his cool lips met your own in a possessive, feral kiss. Your eyes shot open and you watched as his eyes softly closed, his brows tentative, the screaming opposite to how he now claimed your lips. You could barely make heads or tails of what was happening before his fangs nipped at your lower lip and a deep growl escaped from his throat.

You battled with yourself, unsure if you should pull away or melt into his embrace but your fingers reflexively scrunched into his shirt and you let out a shaky breath as you desperately kissed him back, your eyes falling to a close as you submitted yourself to him. He whispered your name between mouthfuls of your tongue and your head spun from the whiplash of your exchange and his mouth pressed against yours.

You lamented having to pull away for air and your stomach churned with anxiety. “Ast–”

You were stopped by his pointer finger pressing against your lips. “Everything I said yesterday,” he whispered. “Was untrue and compelled out of me by Cazador. To make you distrust me.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“I had truly hoped I could keep to myself and figure this out on my own but I simply can't stay away from you,” Astarion's brows furrowed in worry and he straightened, his chest against yours as he cupped your jaw. “When you're not near, I yearn for you,” he said your name in a hushed whisper, his words only meant for the two of you and not for the gods or any other vampires with keen ears. “I want you.”

“Oh, Astarion,” you whispered back, kissing the tip of his finger that was still against your lips before throwing yourself against him in an embrace.

He held you close, his arms around you tight. “We'll find a way out of this, I promise.”

You pulled away from him, a twinkle in your eye. “Actually, I was reading something the other day when I was looking for a way out of this mess.”

Astarion quirked a brow, waiting for you to continue.

“Firstly, have you heard of vampire brides?”

Astarion tilts his head. “Well, yes.”

“Do you know if…” You trail off and clear your throat. “That's what Cazador intends to do with me?”

Astarion levels you with a hot gaze. “Powerful vampire with his bride by his side. I should think so.” His jaw is stiff as he answers you. “Why?”

You gulp. “If… he does and I don't get out of this,” you shudder. “If he makes me his… b-bride, I'd have free will. I'd be a full vampire, Astarion.”

His eyes widened. “Are… are you sure?”

You nod and step to a set of shelves and pull a tome. “I read about it, in here.” You flipped the tome to a marked page and pointed to a passage.

He read through the passage. It detailed how a vampire will first choose a mortal he is obsessed with. “Check,” Astarion murmured to himself. He read on, learning about something called ‘The Dark Kiss,’ which detailed that the vampire would need to sample the blood of his intended bride thrice, to the brink of death. Just before she is about to take her final breaths, he will then open a wound on his own body and feed her his blood. His eyes widen as he reads the next passage. The bride will then enter a feeding frenzy which must be stopped before she overfeeds, lest she go insane and die in agony.

“Gods above…” Astarion murmured.

“But if she feeds properly and is cared for by her vampire groom, she'll die and rise as a vampire, she will have her own free will,” You supplied. “Astarion, we could… We could do it. We have a backup plan if this all goes south.”

He looked at you with a slight frown. “My love, you… You don’t want to become a vampire. Trust me. The hunger, the ache.” He shudders out a harsh breath. “Never seeing the sun again.”

You closed the tome and replaced it on the shelf before taking Astarion’s hands in yours and giving them a squeeze. You looked into his eyes with conviction, love and sincerity. “To be with you and rid ourselves of Cazador, I would do it. I would do anything for you.”

He pulled back slightly and looked down at you, his eyes misty and a hopeful smile on his lips. He leaned down to kiss you again and you met him halfway, about to claim his lips in a desperate kiss before a knock at the door made you spring apart. Your heart thundered and you whipped your head around to the door from the shelves.

You relaxed when you heard a familiar voice.

“My lady, Astarion…” Violet's voice tentatively called. “Everyone’s gathering downstairs for the rehearsal.”

Your eyes widened and you worriedly looked up at Astarion. You really did not want to go through with this. His hands slid down your arms and he squeezed your hands.

“I've got your back, love,” he whispered before kissing your forehead and leading you to the door. Your heart dropped as you approached the staircase and Astarion stopped you. “I'll go down first and then you and Violet follow. Can't have Cazador knowing about us… again.”

You watched as Astarion left the room and gave Violet a nod on his way out. Violet stepped in and you looked down at your feet. “Thank you, Violet.”

She gave you a small smile. “It's quite alright. You're such a kind soul, my lady and I couldn't bear to see you in Cazador's arms when you could be so happy without him. I don't know what you and Astarion are planning but I crave to be free just as my brother does.”

You looked up as you heard her rustle through her pockets and pull out a bottle of perfume and shake it in her fingers. “To mask his smell on your skin,” she said with a smile.

After you'd been perfumed up and your hair hastily done up, Violet led you to the stairs where murmurs of conversation and music met your ears. It wasn't your wedding yet but you still felt the pressure and the reality of the situation beat down on you. Your hand shook as you reached for the railing and Violet stood beside you, taking your free arm and walking you down the stairs. You looked at her with a grateful smile, took a deep breath and descended, a stiff smile painted onto your face.

The clack of yours and Violet's shoes on the stairs caused everyone's chatter to subside and look up at you. Your heart leapt into your throat at everyone's sudden attention and it took every ounce of your self-control not to snap your eyes over to your lover. Instead, you gritted your teeth and locked eyes with Cazador, his self-satisfied smile making your stomach roil.

You then saw your parents who looked up at you happily and whispered to each other. Surely about how proud they were or that you'd “made it” to marry a lord in Baldur's Gate. Whatever it was, your skin heated in anger.

You then let your eyes sweep across the room, conscious not to let your eyes stay on Astarion for too long. But where your heart didn't stutter and cheeks flush when you locked eyes with your husband-to-be, they most certainly did for the brief second that your eyes met Astarion's.

You made it to the landing and Cazador turned to the room. “Places!” He snapped with a hiss and everyone scrambled to the ballroom, including Violet who let you go to join everyone. Cazador held his hand out to you and you took it. He then nodded to your father who approached with a smile.

“A taster for tomorrow, my sweet bride,” Cazador said, kissing your hand before he too retreated into the ballroom.

“What a fine husband for you, darling. I'm so pleased,” your father said, offering his elbow to you.

You hummed flatly and looked towards the ballroom, your heart pounding. Your father ushered you forward and you heard the music start up again in a wedding march as you stood together in the doorway, everyone looking towards you. Your mother stood alone in the rows of seats since no guests were here and unsurprisingly Cazador had neither friend, nor family. City officials would fill these seats tomorrow for the sole purpose of witnessing Cazador Szarr’s marriage and earning him a place where he felt he belonged.

The spawn and other servants lined the walls and a small orchestra was situated in the corner of the ballroom. When you finally looked straight ahead, you saw Cazador at the end of the aisle with a smug smile on his lips, the cleric standing at the head of the room, decked out in robes and tome in hand.

Your father walked you down the aisle and while you knew this wasn't the real thing yet, your heart pounded and you felt like you were going to be sick. Cold feet was an understatement.

You were finally within Cazador's reach and he held his hand out to you and you reluctantly took his icy hand and stood in front of him. You couldn't bear to meet his eye and you instead looked around the room beyond him. The walls, the seats– Astarion…

You locked eyes with him and his lip quirked slightly. You gulped and looked back at the cleric who was running through what he would say tomorrow.

A smile slipped onto Cazador's lips. “I've half a mind to get you to marry us now, father. I can hardly wait,” Cazador said before looking down at you with a smarmy grin.

You were sure this would make any other maiden swoon but your heart froze and Cazador leaned down and whispered in your ear. “Your heart races in anticipation, my love.”

You forced a bashful smile onto your face. “And ruin tomorrow's momentous occasion, my lord?”

Cazador hummed out a laugh and then the cleric continued. “After the exchange of vows, you can kiss your bride and go forth as husband and wife.”

The orchestra kicked back up and Cazador turned the pair of you back to the room. “Perfect,” Cazador hummed to himself as he looked across the room that would be filled with denizens tomorrow.

Your heart ached. This is happening. This is going to be real and it's happening tomorrow. Your body began to quiver and Cazador looked down at you. “Get some rest, my love,” he said as he took and kissed your hand. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow and the rest of us still have much to finalise.”

You simply nodded and walked back up the aisle, right past your parents and slipped through the door. On the other side, you shut the door behind you and leaned against it, the back of your head thumping against the wood softly. You looked up at the gloomy ceiling and tears welled in your eyes before you gave in and began to quietly sob. Cazador, this marriage, Astarion, your parents, the Rite - everything from the last few weeks crashed down on you at once and you wept.

You cursed your parents for bringing you here in the first place, you cursed Cazador for being so desperate for power that he proposed to you, you cursed Astarion for being so easy to fall in love with. If he hadn't been so kind to you the night of the ball, perhaps you could have just been happy with Cazador. Perhaps you could have grown to love him.

The thought made you want to retch. You could never love that monster. And you were still going to kill him.

[lets-just-daydream]

If you receive this, you make someone happy. Go on anonymous and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or some that you think need cheering up. If you get some back, even better.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[lets-just-daydream]

omgomgomgOMG I CANT wait for the next chapter of I Loved You First!!! So good and tense!

COMING RIGHT UP

[lets-just-daydream]

Okay but imagine in I Loved You First, the reader having a lil pet like a kitten 🥺 I think it’d fit her perfectly 🥹

the way the reader is low-key inspired by my oc who has a cat familiar 😭

[lets-just-daydream]

Whispers in the Stacks

You're a wizard's apprentice and you've been sent to the library for your reading materials. The hot librarian has other ideas for you…

This fic was heavily inspired by this audio.

Thanks to @zipzoomzaria for the image in the banner.

Warnings: female reader, exhibitionism, voyeurism, fingering, choking, spanking, praise, pet names

Late afternoon light filtered through the glass windows of the nearly empty library, the smell of musty old tomes filled your nose as you breathed in and sighed. The shelves were so stuffed with books that it looked like they could collapse at any second. 

Researchers, readers and librarians alike were dwindling in the lateness of the day and you let out a slight groan of frustration as you looked again at the long list of required reading as laid out by your master.  

Learning from a master wizard was not easy work but you were sure it would be worth it once your apprenticeship was complete. For now, you'll haul books, fetch bits and bobs and bring coffee as required on top of your studies. And right now you had a seemingly endless list of books in one hand and a small stack of books in your other arm. 

“Mysteries of the Weave: Understanding Magical Energy,” you mumbled to yourself as you read the list and glanced back up at the heavy wooden shelves. “Gods, I'm never going to find all of these books.” 

The sound of someone's shoes clacking on the wooden floor caught your attention as someone rounded the corner. You looked over to see a man holding a stack of books and replacing them on the shelves and your breath caught in your throat. His curly silver hair caught the light that filtered in through the windows and gave him a halo around his head. His pale skin seemed to glow and his red eyes were framed by a pair of gold wire-rim glasses. 

“Can I help you find something?” The librarian asked, looking at you as he continued to stack books. 

Your mouth went dry. He was gorgeous. “Um,” you said dumbly. 

He let out a soft laugh, smile lines and crow's feet defining his face. 

“Sorry, my name's Astarion and I work here.” 

You smiled and introduced yourself. “Actually, maybe you can help me, Astarion.” 

His name on your tongue felt tingly and you felt yourself leaning closer to him. 

“What are you looking for, then?” Astarion asked. 

You stepped next to him and showed him the list of books. He leaned over your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck and looked at the title of the book you pointed at. 

“Mysteries of the Weave: Understanding Magical Energy,” Astarion murmured, his head snapping up to look at the shelves in front of you. “Ah yes, we keep copies of this book with the other tomes on the Weave towards the back of the library. Come, I'll show you.”

Astarion beckoned you to follow and you did, admiring his physique as you tried not to stare too hard. You'd visited this library a few times but had never been to this section. You didn't even know it existed and while you were still a novice student, you could feel the slight crackle of magical energy from some of the books back here. 

“Wow,” you breathed. “I didn't even know these were here.” 

Astarion gave you a smile and rounded a corner past a shelf before he disappeared completely. Your eyes widened and you jogged to follow him, surprised to see that he was leaning against a panelled wall, completely obscured by the overflowing shelves. 

“How interesting,” you chuckled, looking back towards the rest of the library. “A little place to hide.” 

Astarion nodded. “I often come back here. I like to watch people. I like to know what they read, what they're saying…” Astarion trailed off and slowly walked towards you and catching a lock of your hair between his fingers and twirling it. “What makes them… tick.” 

You gulped at the sudden proximity between you and Astarion looked down at you past the frames of his glasses. “What makes you tick, little scholar?” He breathed. 

“I-I…” You stammered. 

“Dusty old books?” He whispered, backing you against the wall and pressing a finger against the stack of books in your arms. “In my experience, scholars make for the most interesting subjects to study.” 

“Is that so?” You breathed, your face and neck heating up. 

“Oh yes,” Astarion purred. “What's the phrase? Wise in the library, wild between the sheets ?” 

Your jaw dropped and you pulled the books up to cover her chest and face. Astarion let out a dark chuckle and took the books from you, placing them on the shelf beside you before placing his arms either side of you. 

“I'm not making you uncomfortable am I? If I am,” he said, dropping one of his arms and pulling away. 

“No!” You almost yelled, grabbing the collar of his shirt. 

Astarion let out a chuckle and caged you in again, dropping his head to your neck and inhaling. “Mmm, that's what I like to hear,” he said huskily. 

The way his voice rumbled sent jolts of warmth straight to your core and you pressed your thighs together. 

“I have another reason why I like to come back here,” he whispered as he pulled away. “Can I show you?” 

You nodded and he extended his hand to you, leading you to the shelves in front of you. “Look past the shelves. What do you see?” 

You glanced up at him and then past the shelves again. “The… library…?” You guessed. 

“Exactly,” Astarion purred, slotting himself behind you, his toned chest pressing against your back. “And they can't see us .” 

Astarion punctuated his sentence by bringing his hand up to your hip and sliding it across your front, his nails catching on the waistband of your pants. 

“Oh?” You sighed, your head falling back to land on his shoulder. 

Gods, were you really doing this? Somewhere so public with a stranger. Well, you'd seen him here and there on your previous visits so you did know he worked here. But… 

“Yes,” he sighed. 

Astarion’s cool hand slipped past your waistband and underwear, his fingers spreading your lips apart and his middle finger finding your clit with relative ease. 

You let out a soft gasp and he let out a muted tsk tsk . “If we're going to do this, little scholar, you need to be silent as the grave. Am I clear?” He whispered. 

You craned your neck and looked up at him before nodding. 

“Good girl.”

His finger rubbed gentle circles on your clit and your hand flew up to your mouth to silence the moan that nearly gave your debauchery away. 

“There's something depraved about doing this in a public place, isn't there? We're well-hidden here,” Astarion whispered as one of his fingers slipped inside of you, causing a soft mewl from the back of your throat. “But in reality, any curious soul could just round the corner at the wrong moment and we'd be discovered.” 

Your body tensed at the thought. What if you did get caught? What if your master found out about what you were really doing when you were supposed to be gathering your study materials? More importantly, did you even really care? 

“But don't be afraid,” Astarion whispered, his finger pumping in and out of you. “As long as you be a good girl and keep quiet, no one will find us.” 

You began to squirm and Astarion's other arm came around your breasts to hold you in place, flush against his chest. 

“Gods,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice low and level. 

Astarion kissed the shell of your ear and continued down until he reached your neck where he lathed the skin with a toothy, open-mouthed kiss. Tingles erupted across your whole body at the feeling and you leaned your neck to the side, desperate for more attention. 

You heard him breathe deeply beside you and felt his abnormally sharp canines drag across your skin before he licked and kissed you. He slipped another finger inside you and you felt his pumping turn into a come hither motion within you, his fingers pressing against your g-spot as his thumb continued gently against your clit. 

“Your cunt takes my fingers so well , my little scholar,” he breathed into your ear. “It makes one wonder what else it could take.” 

You keened silently and bucked your hips, desperate for as much friction as you could get from him. You felt like a bitch in heat, desperately rutting against some stranger in a public library obscured by a maze of bookshelves. But you couldn't lie to yourself, doing this in public was super hot.

Astarion's grip around you tightened and he pulled your body flush against his, his now apparent erection pressed against your ass. “Look, look over there,” he whispered, pointing his finger in a space between the books and shelf above. 

You looked at where he was pointing and you spotted your master looking through the shelves with purpose. Was he looking for you?! Gods, if he caught you like this, your tutelage with him would be over in an instant. Maybe he was here for books, you reasoned with yourself. Your heart beat faster and you let out a quiet gasp. 

“That's–” You whispered, turning your face into Astarion's neck. “My master– my tutor.” 

You felt Astarion’s throat rumble. “My, my, little scholar. You're a student of Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep? How very interesting,” he said with a punctuated thrust or his fingers inside you. 

His fingers sped up and you felt your body flush with warmth and your eyes squeezed shut. “I'm…” You whispered. 

“You're…?” Astarion teased, a soft lilt in his voice. “Don't tell me the sight of your master is what has you all hot and bothered. Not when your cunt was made to take me.”

You didn't trust yourself to respond. If you opened your mouth you were going to moan and it was going to be loud. But whether he was caught up in the moment with you or he just didn't care, Astarion kissed your neck and pressed against your clit in a way that sent waves of pleasure through your whole body. Your walls clenched around his fingers and you let out a deep moan and you felt his hand slap over your mouth harshly. 

“You little minx,” Astarion whispered against your ear, his breathing tickling the skin there. “What did I tell you?”

Astarion wasn't looking for a response. He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, his fingers digging into your cheeks. You opened your eyes slightly, peering past the shelves whilst still pressed flush against Astarion's arousal. You saw Gale looking around curiously, looking for the source of that noise he just heard to no avail and turning back to the book in his hand. You wondered if he knew it was you. You did speak everyday after all, and while he'd never made you moan , you did let out several groans of frustration a day. 

No. No, that was preposterous. 

The sensation of Astarion's fingers slipping from within you caused a low groan in the back of your throat. You turned to look up at him and he finally freed your mouth from his grip. It seemed he didn't trust you though, because he brought a slick soaked finger up to his lips in a silencing motion. 

“Shhh…” Astarion let out lowly, his eyes boring into yours past his fogged up glasses. 

He stuck his tongue out slightly and he slid his fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking off every bit of your juices before licking his lips. You gulped as your mouth went dry, your core beginning to burn with need once again. Astarion leaned down to kiss you and your lips parted easily, letting him slip his tongue inside your mouth and stroke against yours. 

You let out a groan and Astarion pulled away instantly, his hand snapping up to wrap around your neck. He glared down at you with half-lidded eyes. 

“I gave you one simple rule to follow and you couldn't even do that?” He hissed, his mouth coming down next to your ear. “Naughty girl.” 

Astarion's breath on your skin caused you to shudder and you heard his lips move into a smile beside your ear. “Do you want to know what I do to naughty girls, little scholar?” 

The pet name and the implication in his tone made your cunt throb and you turned to look at him and shake your head. 

“Well, you're about to find out,” he said, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Make yourself decent and follow me.” 

You readjusted your pants, combed your fingers through your hair and fanned your face for a moment before you rounded the corner away from the bookshelves you'd just had your little romp behind to see Astarion walk past your master with a salacious smile on his lips as he turned back to look at you. 

You felt your face heat and you lowered your head as you slinked through the aisles of books, ensuring you gave your tutor a wide berth so as not to be spotted. You look around to see Astarion enter a room beyond the front desk of the library before he poked his head back out and nodded for you to follow. You nervously took another look around but no one was paying attention to you, so you cautiously stepped behind the desk and slipped into the room where Astarion was waiting. He shut the door behind you and locked it before turning to face you once again. 

“Hello again, little scholar,” Astarion purred, caging you against the door. He twirled a lock of your hair in his finger as he looked down at you past his glasses. “I’m so very disappointed in you.” 

Your heart dropped and Astarion tutted as he let go of your hair and pulled away, taking a seat on a leather sofa against the wall and leaning back, his legs spread. 

He made a very pretty picture. 

Astarion looked at you and curled his index finger, motioning you to him. You felt self-conscious but you couldn't bring yourself not to obey his every order. His eyes mesmerised you and your body burned for him. You walked over and stood in front of him, wondering what he wanted from you. 

You didn't have to wonder long because he tapped his hand on his thigh and you blushed, looking down at his toned thighs. But you would gladly sit in his lap and you stepped either side of his leg to sit. 

“Ah-ah,” Astarion hummed, his eyes boring into you. He gave you a smirk before he spoke. “You’re a naughty girl, and naughty girls must receive their punishment.” 

“Punishment?” You asked, biting your lip in nervousness. 

“How else will you learn your lesson?” Astarion asked, his fingers coming up to skim your thigh over the fabric of your pants. “Or course, if you'd rather leave…”

Astarion eyes left yours and he indicated to the door before looking back at you. There was no way in the hells you were leaving, and the way he sat there with his legs spread and hand on your thigh as he looked up at you past his glasses had you wanting to drop to your knees and please him however he wanted. 

You took a deep breath and gave him a smile before lowering yourself and bending over his thighs. You felt his instant erection against your side and his hand come up and rub your ass gently, as if admiring it. Not like you could see much of what he was doing but you could hear and feel everything. 

“A good start, pet,” he purred. 

You flushed at the praise and felt tingles across your skin when his fingers found the waistband of your pants and pulled them down with your underwear in one motion. The warm air of the library office danced on your skin and you started to squirm in anticipation. Was he going to please you again? This certainly didn't feel like a punishment. 

“You know,” Astarion began, his hand rubbing on the swell of your ass absentmindedly. “I've been working here a very long time. I've read more books in this library than I'd care to admit.” 

His fingers skimmed the crevasse between your cheeks and you let out a soft moan at the sensation. 

“I have an intimate knowledge of these books and their subject matter of course,” he continued, his fingers leaving your skin for a moment as he reached somewhere next to him that you couldn't see. “But I also know these sizes, the binding, the material. All of these mundane little things.” 

You wanted to ask where he was going with his little monologue. But you didn't have to wait long before the clap of a cool, hardback leather book met your ass. You cried out in pain, but mostly from surprise. 

“So that also means I know which book is perfect for carrying out your punishment,” Astarion said, his voice gravelly and husky. “Do tell me if you want me to stop.” 

Before your brain could catch up with your mouth you blurted out for him to keep going. 

“That's a good girl,” Astarion said, whacking your ass again, but this time slightly lower as it met the lips of your pussy. “I can see why that Waterdhavian wizard keeps you around. You're a good student. A good little scholar for your master, aren't you?” 

“Yes,” you whispered. You felt the need to prove to Astarion that you were a good student. A good girl just like he wanted. You spread your thighs wider, baring yourself to him completely with all of your shame and pride out of the window. 

Astarion adjusted his hips and you could feel his hips rutting slightly against your side, his confined cock begging for attention. 

“May I pleasure you?” You asked, craning to look up at Astarion. 

You were surprised to see his glasses slightly fogged, his cheeks red and his hair hanging over his eyes. He gave you a smile before pulling back and cracking you with the book again. 

“You sweet, generous thing,” he murmured. “Not today, but perhaps next time if you prove to me that you deserve it.” 

Your heart skipped at the thought of another rendezvous with the librarian and you nodded, desperate to please him. 

“I can't believe you let out such a filthy moan with your master right there ,” Astarion said, spanking your ass again, aiming for the swell of your cheek. You cried out at the sting and his other hand came down to caress the cheek he'd just spanked. “Does it hurt darling? That's what naughty girls who can't hold in their moans get.” 

Your core throbbed as his fingers gently caressed your ass and you were desperate for friction. But you didn't dare test him by trying to pleasure yourself so you gritted your teeth and tried not to focus on your neglected cunt. 

“I think five more spanks to make sure the message has really sunk in. I don't think you've quite learned your lesson yet, have you?” 

You shook your head in agreement. 

“Now, I'm going to spank you and you're going to count with me, okay?” Astarion said. 

You nodded your head and held your breath, waiting for the next smack from the book in his hand. 

The leather met your ass harder than any of the other spanks with a loud crack . Your eyes teared up from the pain but you held it together. 

“One,” you groaned, fidgeting and rubbing your ankles together. 

“Have you learned your lesson?” Astarion asked. 

“Yes! I'm sorry.” 

“Wrong!” Astarion growled, spanking your ass again. 

You let out a cry at the pain as your cunt throbbed in desperate need. You continued to wriggle in Astarion's grasp and his hand came around your neck to pull you up to face him. His cheeks were still flushed and his eyes were dilated as he stared at you. 

“What number was that, pet?” 

“Two,” you gulped, your throat bobbing in his grip. 

“Good,” Astarion said, lowering you back down. 

A smack on your other cheek. “Three.” 

“I think you're learning your lesson, little scholar.” 

Astarion pulled back and smacked your ass harder.

“Four,” you squealed.

Astarion put the book down for a moment as his hand rested on your lower back. Hadn't he said five spanks? He shuffled your legs forward and raised your ass higher. 

“Arch your back and spread your legs for me, pet,” Astarion said softly. 

You did as he asked, spreading your legs and arching your back, feeling very exposed and all at once very thankful he'd locked the door before baring your ass and pussy to him like this. 

“Last one. Are you ready?” 

You nodded, instinctively sticking your ass out more and wiggling it slightly. Astarion picked up the book, pulled back and landed a hard, loud smack right above your thighs. The leather met your cunt and you let out a moan before your final count. 

“F-five,” you moaned. 

Astarion tossed the book aside and his hand caressed your ass. “Such a good girl, such a good little thing,” he praised as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to each cheek. 

“I think you've learned your lesson now like the good little scholar you are,” he continued, his fingers sliding between your thighs and humming in satisfaction at the arousal he found there.

You sat up and stretched your sore limbs, watching as he licked his fingers clean once again. You could watch his tongue lick his long fingers for hours if given the opportunity. 

“Now, I hope you'll be back soon. We have many books here that I'm sure will help with your studies,” Astarion purred, his index finger coming to rest under your chin and pulling you towards him for a kiss. “And if not, I also provide one-on-one research services to very select clientele.” 

“Well then, I'm sure I'll be back soon,” you said, already trying to figure out when you'd need to come back for more books. 

You hoped these visits to the library weren't going to be a detriment to your studies. 

[lets-just-daydream]

😭😭😭 latest chapter of I Loved You first got me clenching my booty cheeks for our protagonist and Astarion 😭😭😭

SAME LMAO

[lets-just-daydream]

The Ecstasy of Absolution

Astarion is a sexy priest. That's it. That's the fic.

You felt uneasy and nervous as you approached the large, ornate doors. You felt sick as you prepared to confess your sins. Would confessing them to a stranger feel better than keeping locked up inside? Your friends had insisted that going to the church, confessing your wrongdoings and receiving penance would not only help you feel better but cleanse you from within. 

You weren't so sure - that no good girl could be forgiven for what you had done - sleeping with a stranger at a party… If anyone found out, you'd be ruined and your parents would be so disappointed. But your friends assuaged your worries that priests heard countless stories of pre-marital sex - it was probably the most common confession, really.

So it seemed easy enough. 

Go to the church. 

Confess your sins. 

Receive your penance. 

Go about your life. 

You bit your lip as you peered inside. 

A high ceiling with wooden rafters and lanterns lit the long, red, running carpet which split the building into two with pews either side of it. It was empty in here, no one around and you wondered if there were certain times you had to come visit. You looked around to spot someone and then you spied your destination along a wall of the church. A large, wooden confessional with each door wide open. 

You approached the confessional and peered inside, wooden interiors with cushioned benches and a screen in between to maintain your anonymity. You took a deep breath,  stepped into the confessional and closed the door, sitting down. Your stomach was in knots as your knees bounced and you wrung your hands together in your nervousness. 

The sudden click and thud of the door to the booth beside you made you start and your breathing quickened. You waited for the priest to speak. 

“Speak, my child,” came the smooth, velvety voice of the priest. 

Your stomach turned but you cleared your throat and you began to speak. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” You hoped you were doing this right. 

“And when was your last confession?”

You gulped. “I have… never made a confession.”

The smooth, velvety voice sounded from the screen beside you. “Confess your sins, child.” 

You had to focus up on the task at hand but this priest's voice, it was so sexy. If any Lord above could read your mind you were certain your impure thoughts would have you smited on the spot. 

“Father I… went against the word of my parents and I engaged in sexual relations as an unmarried woman,” you said between laboured breaths, sweat forming above your brow from the nerves. From the fear that the priest would yank open the door to your booth, pull you out by your hair and tell you what a whore you are. 

There was a pause after your confession and luckily, you weren't met with such judgement just yet. “Tell me more so I may know the extent of the penance you'll receive.” 

You gulped. Did he want you to go into detail? You hesitated. 

“What acts did you perform?” the smooth voice of the priest pressed. 

“I… I performed oral sex on him, f-Father,” you stammered, your face heating up as your hands wrung into the hem of your skirt. 

You heard fabric shuffle on the other side of the screen. 

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked, a slight croak to his voice. 

“Yes,” you whispered.

His husky voice continued to question you. “Were you on your knees, child?” 

Your body began to flush as you were taken back to that night. “Yes,” you responded with a hint of a whine. You heard a noise from the booth beside you that you couldn't quite make out. “Sorry, Father? I didn't catch that.” 

“Did- Did you stop there?” He asked, his voice almost seemed strained. He must have thought you were disgusting, trying to remain professional and hide his disgust. 

“No.” 

A soft groan through the screen and your face warmed in embarrassment. 

“What else?” He whispered. “Did he perform oral sex on you?” 

You didn't know priests got into such lines of questioning, but the punishment needed to fit the crime you figured. 

“No, Father.” 

A hum, and the sound of skin on skin as you assumed he was rubbing his hands together to consider what you'd confessed so far. 

“Was this the extent of your actions?” He asked, his voice deep. 

You pursed your lips together and prepared to confess the worst part of all. “No, I… We had sex.” 

“Go on,” he pressed, sounding almost desperate for you to continue. 

“He laid me down and spread my legs, Father. I let him enter me and I confess that it felt good and that I didn’t want him to stop.” 

You heard the unmistakable sound of a breathy moan from beyond the screen and your brows furrowed. 

“Father? Are you alright?” 

You heard shuffling and the sound of the door of the booth beside you opening before the door to your own booth was wrenched open and you were bathed in light from the church beyond. 

In the doorway stood a disheveled, curly silver-haired man with his robes in disarray, his red eyes glared at you hungrily as they raked over your body. His cock hung large and proud from his black robes, leaking and pink at the tip. The white collar of his robes and the cross hung from his neck gave away who he was, but he couldn't be…

“Oh my god,” you whispered, taking his appearance in, your thighs pressing together on their own at the sight of him. 

You recognised his voice as soon as he spoke. “Do not use the Lord's name in vain.” 

“Father?” You asked, your mouth dropping agape. “W-what are you doing?” 

He stepped into the booth and took your chin in his hand, looking down at you. His hand was cold as ice, but you didn't care. “Giving you your penance.” 

Your eyes widened as you sat in shock, staring up at him. His curls framed his face and his red irises were thin discs beyond his dilated pupils. 

“On your knees for the Lord, pet,” his silky voice said as he lightly tugged on your chin. “Don't tell me now you're playing coy and acting innocent after such a lewd confession.” 

“N-no, Father,” you gulped. 

God, he was gorgeous and you could scarcely find it in you to deny his command. 

“I'll only repeat it once. On your knees,” he said slowly, his red eyes piercing into you. 

You were at his mercy and when he stared down at you the way he did, the desire to please him and earn his praise clouded your head. 

You slid from the seat and dropped to your knees in front of him, looking up at him with wide eyes. A million thoughts ran through your mind. ‘Why was he asking you to do this? What kind of priest was he? Why were you so willing and compliant to his demands?’ The thoughts skidded to a halt when his cool thumb caressed your bottom lip and teased your mouth open, causing your tongue to reflexively slip out to lick it. The priest chuckled above you and you looked up to see a sharp canine peek out from his lips.

“Good girls receive their penance and are absolved of their sins as long as they do what they're told. Do you want to be absolved of your sins?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yes what?” 

“Yes, Father,” you sighed. 

He let out a satisfied groan. “Good.” 

You watched as he dropped your chin and his hands came around to the front of his pants and undid them, his cock now fully free of its restraints. Your mouth watered as it bobbed in front of you and you licked your lips in anticipation. 

“Well go on,” he said. “I know you know what to do, you explained the act you committed and now I need you to demonstrate. How filthy is your mouth? How sinful is that tongue and what punishment do I need to give you, hm?” 

Your stomach clenched and you pressed your thighs together as you opened your mouth and licked the tip of the priest's cock. He let out a soft whimper and you continued, trying your best to remember exactly how you had sucked before. You licked from the base just above his balls and up to the top before taking it in your mouth as far as you could. 

He let out a choked gasp and his hand flew up to brace himself on the wall of the confessional, his other hand coming up to cover his mouth. You slowed down, concerned. 

“Keep going,” he rasped. “You didn't stop there, did you, you minx!” 

You readjusted on your knees and looked up at the priest as you took his now warming cock into your mouth again, the tang of his precum thick in your mouth. This was the time for honesty, and you had to admit the truth, that's what you were for, after all. You pulled back once again and gave him a smirk. 

“Father, I confess,” you breathed. “I love sucking your cock.” 

The priest's eyes practically rolled into the back of his head and he grabbed you by the neck and pulled you to stand in front of him. 

“Are you a glutton for punishment?” He asked, turning your head this way and that as he examined you. 

“Suppose I am,” you said. “What if I keep sinning?” 

He grinned a toothy smile and you noticed two sharp fangs in place of his canines. You opened your mouth to ask what was wrong with his teeth but he pulled your lips against his. 

“If you keep sinning,” he purred, “I'll have to keep punishing you until you learn your lesson, my child.”

He spun the pair of you around and he took your previous seat, flaring his robes out and leaning back as he palmed his cock. You watched as he stroked himself and you felt your core tighten in need. You nearly dropped to your knees as you begged. 

“Please let me ride your cock, Father,” you begged. 

The priest let out a mock gasp, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. “I’m shocked. Such vulgar language in my church will not go unpunished.” He let out a sigh and outstretched a hand reaching for you, while patting his bare thigh with the other. “And I do intend to punish you.” 

You looked at him, confused. 

“Bend over my lap, be a good girl, come on.”

You felt your cheeks warm at his command but obeyed nonetheless. Bent over his knees, your skirt did little to hide your modesty. 

You heard a tsk tsk above you as he softly ran his hand over your underwear. “Such inappropriate attire for a church,” he said huskily. 

He lifted your skirt high over your ass before his cool fingers found the waistband of your underwear and tugged it down. You squirmed at the slight discomfort of being bent over his lap and of being so exposed and unable to do anything. 

“Father, please.” 

No sooner had the words left your lips than a hard smack met the swell of your ass. You cried out in pain at the sting and his free hand came around and clamped over your mouth. 

“Keep quiet,” he said through gritted teeth. 

You tried to reply that it hurt but his hand over your mouth kept you muffled. His hand met your ass in another spank, and another and another until there were tears in your eyes and you were sure your ass was red and raw with imprints of his hand all over you. A thought that, scarily, made your cunt throb. 

The priest finally let you up and he kissed you again, his tongue sliding between your lips forcefully. “You take your punishments so well pet. I think you've repented enough…” 

“No!” You cried, desperate for him to continue. 

A smirk played on his lips as he leaned back and spread his legs, his hard, leaking cock on display for you. “No? You don't think you've paid enough for your transgressions?”

“No, Father,” you whispered, your thighs now practically soaked in your arousal. 

You watched as he leaned back, closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, his eyes then opening and flicking directly to the apex of your thighs barely hidden by your skirt. He stuck his hand out to you and you took it, following his lead and straddling his thighs, your knees on the cushioned bench and positioning yourself over his cock. 

“Now, be a good girl,” he breathed. “And sink onto me.” 

You slowly lowered yourself onto his cock, your lips separating as the tip slowly parted them. The blunt head of his cock dipped inside you and you let out a squeak at the feeling, the sheer size of him causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin. 

“Fuck, fuck,” you whispered as you lowered yourself to the hilt. 

Your walls squeezed around his length and he let out a groan and involuntarily bucked his hips. His hands came around to grip the flesh of your ass and he helped you into a rhythm, slowly bouncing on his cock. 

From your new position you could see his face better and god above, he was devastatingly handsome. His plump lips slightly open and his red eyes with gorgeous thick lashes half-lidded as he looked up at you filthily as sin. The way his eyes bored into you could send you into orgasm alone if you weren't careful. 

“Father,” you whispered as you wrapped your arms around his neck and screwed your eyes shut. 

He stretched you out so perfectly and you let out a shuddered breath as he guided your body in a slow rhythm. One of his hands came down between your bodies and found your clit, circling it slowly and making you cry out in ecstasy. 

“Oh, god,” you cried.

His eyes snapped to yours and his hand came up and tapped your cheek. “Don't use the Lord's name in vain,” he spat. 

“I'm sorry,” you whined. “But… I…” 

You couldn't finish your sentence because the sound of a door opening caused you to clamp your mouth shut. You whipped your head around but the door to your booth remained closed. 

“Father Astarion,” a frail voice said through the screen. “I have come for my confession.” 

You slowed your movements but he looked up at you and shook his head, one hand covering your mouth and the other slipping down between your folds to circle your clit as he continued to bounce you on his cock. 

“Speak,” Father Astarion said huskily. “And confess your sins.” 

He held his body as close to yours as he could while he fucked you, trying his best to muffle the sounds of your coupling from your new neighbour. 

“It has been one week since my last confession, Father.”

You leaned your face into the crook of his neck and his now free hand came to wrap around your back and hold you tight against his body. 

You huffed out a barely audible whisper against his ear. “Father Astarion.”

His hand gripped against your flesh and dug into your skin with a muffled grunt from the back of his throat that even you could barely hear.

“Shit,” he whispered into your neck. 

The old woman next to you only separated by the screen, began to confess. “Father, I confess that I wished ill upon my neighbour.” 

Astarion let out a noise that was a mix of a grunt and a hum. 

“I felt jealousy when I saw how lovely his rose garden is compared to mine.”

You pursed your lips, trying not to laugh as you watched Astarion roll his eyes. Whether it was from pleasure or exasperation, you weren't sure. 

“Recite one Hail Mary and be on your way,” he rushed out. 

“Is… is that all for my sin of wishing ill on my neighbour and for my jealousy, Father?” 

“Yes. Recite your prayer and go in peace,” Astarion gritted out, his impatience clear as he thrust into you harder.

“But-” 

“RECITE YOUR HAIL MARY AND LEAVE,” Astarion snarled. 

The old woman stammered for a moment, thanked the priest whom you were currently grinding against and left, presumably to do her prayers elsewhere, you hoped. 

Astarion suddenly stood and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. 

“Astarion… Father… What-”

The question died on your lips as you felt your back hit the wooden wall of the confessional. Astarion held your legs in place, looked you in the eye and bared what appeared to be a set of fangs. 

“Incessant woman,” he seethed. “How could anyone care about such nonsense when we're in here committing the most heinous sin in the house of the lord.” 

You groaned and wrapped your arms around his neck as his hips snapped against you faster, his breathing becoming ragged. 

“I don't care to think what will become of me should anyone find out about this.” 

Astarion dropped his head into the crook of your neck and kissed the skin he found there. “I care not for absolution when here between your thighs is… true heaven,” he said with a groan, his voice becoming high pitched. 

His fingers found your clit and circled it fast, desperately working you to your release. 

“Father,” you whined, not caring if anyone could hear you anymore. 

“Yes, yes my pet.” 

The pet name from his lips shot electricity straight to your core and you gasped, your cunt throbbing as you felt warmth and pleasure erupt through your body. 

“I'm coming!” You squealed, your thighs tightening around Astarion's hips as you desperately grinded against him. 

The priest's hips stuttered and his breathing quickened as he rutted against you, his pelvis pressed flush against yours. He grunted out a curse as he came inside of you in spurts, his body seizing before his head fell back and his muscles relaxed, exposing the ivory column of his neck to you beyond his collar. 

You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the underside of his smooth chin, and earning you a small smile from him. You too, leaned your head back, finding the wall of the confessional. 

“Wow,” you sighed, slowly unhooking your legs from around Astarion's hips. 

You leaned against the wall and watched as the priest dropped to his knees in front of you, his red eyes never leaving yours. He held the underside of your knee in his hand and hooked it over his shoulder as he stuck the tip of his tongue out. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, staring down at him, wide-eyed in the dim light. 

He didn't answer you, instead closing his eyes and licking a fat stripe up your cunt and gathering the mix of your juices on his tongue before swallowing. He opened his eyes half-lidded and looked up at you with a smirk before standing up, pressing his thumb to your chin and pulling your lips open. You obliged and let out a moan when he met you in a gentle kiss, his tongue pressing between your lips and licking against your own. You moaned as you tasted the tang of your coupling, your core beginning to warm again at the fresh memory.

“I hope you found your confession… a valuable experience,” Astarion whispered before pulling away, his thumb still on your chin, his face close to yours. 

“Yes, it was very enlightening, Father Astarion,” you whispered. “I imagine I'll be back soon, for I have a sin to confess.”

The handsome priest clicked his tongue. “Well, keep it for next time, pet. Stew in your guilt and I will surely see you soon,” he purred.

You watched as he tucked himself back into his robes, giving you one last smirk before he stepped out of the confessional and into his church. 

[lets-just-daydream]

I Loved You First

Chapter 12: Countdown

It felt like each day that had passed this week simultaneously flew past at a breakneck speed but also crawled by at a snail’s pace. Your heart raced with every descent into the main hall of the palace and every time you passed the ballroom, abuzz with a flurry of activity and excited chatter. You didn’t recognise many of the people working tirelessly in the ballroom, which made sense - you didn’t think any inhabitant of the palace except for Cazador was all aflutter for this wedding. 

You had taken to spending your days hidden away in the library, avoiding Cazador and seeking out Astarion where you could, but Cazador was becoming increasingly… clingy and you were seeing less of Astarion. In fact, the last time you had seen him was the day of your dress fitting and that was two days ago. 

You couldn't help but worry about him, about your impending wedding, about how you were going to get out of this if you even could. You could feel yourself approaching a breaking point, but there was a glimmer of hope, today your parents would be arriving. As much as you resented them for putting you in this position, you felt more comfortable knowing a piece of familiarity was on its way. How you'd actually react when you finally saw them was another thing entirely. 

Until then, you sat in the dark library with an open, unread book in your lap, worrying about where Astarion was. It had only been a couple days but you already missed him immensely, meal times with Cazador felt more stifled without Astarion nearby; even though you couldn't engage with him, his presence put you at ease. You slammed the book shut, returned it to its shelf and decided you'd go searching for Astarion today. The sun was out and there were only so many places he could be. 

You exited the library and stared down the long hallway. You'd only been to the spawns’ quarters once before and arrived there by accident, so you hoped you could find your way back. As you slowly stepped through the dark hallway, you froze at every little sound and creak. Realistically, you had no reason to be so jumpy - you'd be lady of the palace in a couple of days and could go where you pleased. But it still felt strange going somewhere Cazador would forbid if he knew why you sought to go there in the first place. What would you say if he caught you on the way there? 

You didn't need to worry long. You finally made a turn into a familiar hallway where you'd gotten lost once and Astarion had come to your rescue. There was a door to your left and a door right in front of you signaling the end of the hallway. You weren't sure which of these rooms were where Astarion slept but you heard voices filtering through the door in front of you. You rapped on the wood and the voices stopped abruptly before the handle moved and the door slowly opened to reveal a very confused looking Petras on the other side. 

His eyes widened and he opened the door fully. “M-my lady! What are you doing here?” He winced at his own question before giving you an apologetic look. 

“I'm so sorry to disturb you. Is this a bad time?” 

“Not at all. I'm just… How can we help you?” 

You peeked into the room past Petras and saw Violet sitting on a bed. Her back straightened and she opened her mouth to speak but you offered her a small smile and a wave. A look of confusion painted her features before she gave you a tentative smile and wave back. It all seemed so informal and friendly, and you wished it could be this easy. 

You cleared your throat. “I was wondering if you've seen Astarion?” You asked. 

Your eyes narrowed on Petras in front of you who, when you mentioned your lover's name, stiffened and looked down. “No, I haven't seen him.” Neither Violet nor Petras would meet your eye and you stepped closer to him, causing him to take a step back. You entered the room and looked around at decrepit bunks made of rotting wood. The room smelled… ripe and it was messy, but that wasn't your biggest concern right now. 

“Violet? I know you know where he is. I know he's in some kind of trouble, I can feel it. I know I've caused this. Please just tell me where he is so I can help him.” 

Violet looked up from where she was staring down at the floor. “You love him, don't you?” 

Her question caught you off-guard and you felt your heart still in your chest. Whether Violet and Petras could sense the stuttering in your heart, they gave you the decency of not letting on. 

“No,” you rushed out. “I’m just conc-” 

“You don't have to lie to us, my lady,” Petras interrupted. 

You furrowed your brow, chewing on the inside of your lip. There was a long silence between the three of you. You were unwilling to divulge more about your feelings for the pale elf and the other vampires weren't sure what to say. 

“How much do you know about our master? About us?” Petras finally asked. 

You let out a stiff breath. “More than you think.” 

Violet inhaled sharply. “You know about…” 

“Your condition,” you completed. “Yes.” 

Petras sat on the bunk next to his sister, a dumbstruck look on his face as he looked up at you. “And you're still here? You haven't alerted the Flaming Fist?” 

“No, I have no reason to.” 

The pair exchanged a relieved glance before looking at you once again. “Since you know about that and that Cazador is our vampire master, you know he controls us.” Violet explained. “We're his thralls, we do his bidding whether we like it or not. Fortunately his punishments have been softer since your arrival. But I think Astarion and… yourself, if I may be so bold, have caught his attention.”

Your heart stuttered, remembering the last time you saw Astarion was at your dress fitting and how Cazador seemed like he'd caught something interesting from you after the fact. 

“What's he doing to him?” You asked, your voice wavering. “Where's he keeping him?” 

“The kennels,” Petras said. 

Your face twisted in confusion. “The kennels? I've never seen any dogs here.” 

Violet and Petras shared a rueful laugh. “No, there are no dogs here.” 

“Then…?” 

As Petras began to explain, a shrill bell at the far wall sounded and you turned to see a wall of servant bells. The bell for the front door was ringing and Petras stood, fixing his sleeves as he did so. “I'd best answer that. I believe it to be your parents.” 

Your heart soared at the idea of seeing your parents but Astarion was still at the forefront of your mind. You turned to Violet. 

“Please, Violet,” you pleaded, sitting beside her on the bed. You wanted to take her hands in yours and beg but you knew better than to touch her without asking first. Gods knew she'd probably had enough of that to last several lifetimes. “Please take me to him.” 

Her brows furrowed but then she relented. “Please, no one can know I've taken you to him.” 

“Of course. My lips are sealed,” you promised. 

Violet led you out of the room and led you through a dark hallway that seemingly had no doors or windows. What an odd place. She came to an abrupt stop and pressed her hands to a wall which now that you looked at it closely, seemed to shimmer with magic. 

“He's in there. I don't think Godey is in there with him right now. Be careful and good luck,” Violet said quickly before turning and leaving hastily. 

“Who’s–” 

Her quick words only left you with more questions. What was this room? Who is Godey? This doesn't look like a kennel. Your heart pounded in your chest but you steeled yourself and took a deep breath before stepping through the illusory wall. 

By the gods, if simply existing in this palace was oppressive and soul crushing, the feeling you got when you stepped through the threshold increased tenfold. You were in a room with stone walls, stone floors and large stone pillars, torches lined the walls and dirty, broken mattresses were littered around the floor. And… Blood, dried and fresh splattered the walls and the floor and the smell made your stomach churn. Shackles hung from the walls and coffins were strewn about, cages hung from the ceiling, though blessedly appeared empty. Finally, a table sat to your right and you looked down to see various bloodstained instruments of torture scattered about it. 

You gasped and slapped your hand to your mouth in horror. You wanted to leave. You wanted to turn around and scrub this horrid torture chamber from your memory but if Astarion was in here, you had to help him. 

You stepped around carefully, peeking past the corners of the large stone pillars. 

“A-Astarion?” You whispered. 

You received no response. But with your next step, you saw a pale foot poking out from behind one of the pillars. Your heartbeat and steps quickened as you rounded the corner, a gasp falling from your lips as you eventually found your lover. Astarion was here, shackled to the pillar, his face bloody and beaten, his shirt torn to pieces to expose open, bloody flesh. His usually perfect hair was a mess of curls, dirt and blood. You dropped to your knees and took his face in your hands. 

“Astarion? Astarion are you alright?” You asked, giving his face a light pap to stir him awake. 

He opened his eyes and he looked up at you, blinking in confusion before saying your name. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” 

“I'll explain later,” you said hurriedly. “Where's the key for these?” You asked, fiddling with the shackles on his wrists. 

“You have to leave,” Astarion whispered as his brows furrowed in concern, his voice desperate. “If he finds you here, he'll hurt you.” 

“I don't care,” you said, your voice thick with tears as you looked around for a key.

“Darling please,” he whispered. “You won't find a key. Godey and Cazador have the only keys.” 

“Who's Godey?” 

“Cazador's sadistic pile-of-bones servant,” Astarion sneered. “Inflicts Cazador's tortures onto us.” 

“Then what can I do?” 

“I'll be out in a couple of days, I hope. Though I imagine after your wedding Cazador will continue to punish me. Keep me away from you. He knows about us.” 

Your heart dropped. “H-he what?” 

Astarion nodded. “He knows about us. He could… smell my scent on your body.”

Your heart dropped and your breathing quickened, panic taking over your body. “No… No, Astarion. I'm so sorry.” 

Astarion's hand twitched to comfort you but the shackles held him in place. You snaked your hand up and intertwined your fingers with his. 

“I'll be okay, my love,” Astarion rasped. “Every second I've spent with you is worth what I've had to endure here. But you should leave before Godey comes back.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you took in Astarion's beaten, bloody and bruised form. “I don't want to leave you,” you whispered. You pulled your hand from his and lifted your sleeve, exposing your soft forearm to him. “Please, at least feed. Regain some of your strength.” 

Astarion's eyes widened as his sanguine hunger overtook him. He'd lost a lot of blood and the pain of his wounds were beyond your comprehension. He opened his mouth but his movement was limited, the chains keeping him tethered. You winced and pressed your wrist to his mouth and stuttered slightly as you pushed against his fangs, piercing your skin. 

Though it was uncomfortable, you felt satisfaction in feeding your lover. Your other hand came to rest on his curls and you stroked his hair softly, your thumb caressing his ear. He let out small sounds of delight and groans of satisfaction as he continued to feed. You felt your head going fuzzy and by now you'd usually stop him, but you didn't have the heart to deny him, but when you finally started wavering in spot and your eyes drooped, he pulled away and licked at the puncture marks. 

“Did you have enough?” You asked, your words slurring slightly as the lightheadedness began to hit you. 

“Plenty,” Astarion said, with a soft smile. “I feel better. Now please, my love you have to go.” 

You were in no headspace to argue and you nodded, coming to an awkward stand and almost falling back into Astarion's lap. He watched as you peered past the column and walked back to the trick wall. Your hand rested on the wall and while you couldn’t see him when you looked back, you knew he could hear you. 

“I’ll be back for you soon, I promise.”

You exited the room, and missed Astarion’s sigh and small smile despite his predicament as he stayed leaning against the wall. 

You left the hidden hallway and took a deep breath before pulling your sleeve firmly over the puncture wounds on your wrist. In your panic, you hadn't thought through the fact that you'd let Astarion feed from you in such a visible spot and you hoped you could keep it hidden. Perhaps you’d need to find a gaudy bracelet to wear on your wedding day to make sure it stayed covered. 

It hurt your heart as images of Astarion, bruised and beaten flashed through your mind as you left him, but you pushed through and ascended up the stairs to greet your parents who were surely wondering where you were. But the awful revelation; Cazador knew about you and Astarion. What this meant for your upcoming wedding and your future, you weren't sure but you knew your fiance well enough by now that it filled you with dread. 

You speed-walked through the hallways and made it to the entrance where Violet stood by the door to the dining room. You heard your mother’s laugh from within and you weren’t sure if you wanted to run into her arms or knock her over the head. You met Violet’s eye and her expression remained stoic until you offered her a grateful smile, then her features softened and she smiled back before looking down at her feet. You walked by her to enter the dining room and gave her arm a squeeze before squaring your shoulders and walking into the room with a painted on smile. 

Your mother quickly stood from her seat and rushed over to you, enveloping you in her arms. You struggled to wrench your head free to breathe as you embraced her in turn, glad for the motherly affection you'd been missing out on since their departure. Your father came up behind you and ruffled your hair before also pulling you in for a hug which you tried your best to put your heart into, but it was downstairs with Astarion in the kennels. 

Cazador stood by his seat at the head of the table, watching with a disinterested expression until you looked over to him, at which point he leveled you with a cold stare before he painted a smile onto his face. You frowned for a moment before your mother cupped her hands over your cheeks. 

“Oh, how we've missed you so.” 

“I missed you, too,” you said. 

“Tell me everything about the wedding!” Your mother gushed as she wrapped an arm over your shoulders and led you back to the table. You sat beside her, forgoing your usual seat next to your fiance. “What's the cake like? What flowers have you chosen? What dress did you choose?”

“Please,” you breathed with a shy smile. “Lord Cazador organised the whole wedding. I didn't get-” You paused and cleared your throat. “I didn't have to lift a finger.” 

Your mother's expression faltered for a moment to a look of surprise before she grinned and turned to Cazador. “How thoughtful of you, my lord. Wedding planning can be so stressful, especially on the bride. I would know…”

You turned out your mother's voice as she chewed Cazador's ear off about something or other to do with weddings. The spawn brought dinner to the table and you shoveled the food into your mouth, hungrier than you thought you would be from letting Astarion drink his fill from you. You hoped you'd fed enough to sustain him and heal his injuries even for a little while until you could feed him again. 

But now you had other problems. Astarion had been locked away because Cazador “knew about the two of you.” A notion that curled around your heart and gut in an icy grip and didn't let go. What would Cazador do? A silly part of you hoped that maybe he'd just call off the wedding and send you packing. You'd leave and you'd bring Astarion with you wherever you went. You'd heard of places across Faerûn where the sun doesn't shine and perhaps if you did some more digging you could find out where these places were and take Astarion there. You could live out your life happily with him.

The sound of scraping chairs shook you from your daydreaming, it seemed everyone was finished with dinner. 

“Good night, my lord,” you parents said before retiring to their room. 

You were left sitting in your chair, with Cazador staring at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You gave him a nod and a small smile, standing from your seat in a silent bid of goodnight. 

Cazador's eyes followed you and then he spoke. “Sit.” 

You froze, but retook your seat with a gulp, your eyes not leaving his. In your musings, you hadn't considered the fact that Cazador might just drain you dry and make up a story about your disappearance. What could you do if he descended upon you? Scream? Fight him off? Would any of the spawn risk his ire and come to your aid? Probably not. 

Cazador's serious face broke and he leaned forward. “Don't look so afraid, my sweet.” 

You kept your face straight but the term of endearment made you want to retch. His expression oozed smug confidence and you wanted to wipe that smile off his annoying face. 

“I know about what happened between you and my servant, Astarion,” Cazador began. 

Your body went stiff and you could feel a cold sweat break out on the back of your neck. 

“O-oh?” You stammered. 

“You needn't worry about him forcing himself upon you anymore, my bride,” Cazador said before he stood from his seat and walked over to stand over you. “He divulged the true nature of his lust for you.”

You remained silent. Had Astarion really confessed so much about your relationship? You had to remind yourself that Cazador tortured his spawn and he could get anything he wanted out of them - you weren't sure how you'd hold up in a torture chamber so you couldn't fault your lover. 

“He thinks me a cruel master and planned to seduce you, get you to fall for him ,” he continued with a sneer. “To get you to protect him from me, create a soft spot in your heart for him and hurt me in the process.” 

Cazador's eyes lowered and his brows furrowed in sadness. “I could smell him on you, two days ago. I know of his charms, how convincing he can be. I don't blame you, my love. Especially not after he confessed this plan of his to me.” 

Cazador's hand came around and pressed your head to his stomach in an awkward embrace. You tried your best to keep your expression blank as your heart raced. Of course you didn't really believe him but the more he spoke, the more it seemed feasible. But Astarion was so kind to you, there was no way there was any truth to Cazador's words. 

“I still sense that bothersome hesitation from you, my love,” Cazador sighed. “I'll call him up and he can confess this all to you himself.” 

You pulled back and looked up at Cazador questioningly. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably as he reached for his staff he was rarely seen without and tapped it twice on the hard tiles. Your eyes widened as red runes appeared on the floor in front of you and in a flash of red, Astarion appeared on the cold tiles in the middle of the circle of runes. You stared in horror as Cazador approached him and you saw Astarion's body tense, scrambling to his knees with his head lowered. He looked up at you sadly, his eyes wide and round before Cazador leaned down and took the elf’s face in his hand, his fingers squeezing into Astarion's skin. 

“Boy,” Cazador spat, his eyes boring into Astarion's. “Why don't you tell my bride what you told me earlier? Hm?” 

You blinked and your brows furrowed as you watched Astarion's red eyes begin to glow. You gulped and looked from him to Cazador who turned Astarion's head to face you. He lowered his head and his white curls hung over his face as his expression twisted into a look of pain. 

“Don't disrespect me like this in front of your future mistress,” Cazador sneered, forcing Astarion's head back up by his hair. “Go on, tell her.” 

“I…” Astarion began, his voice thick. “I was manipulating you, my lady.” 

You froze at the title that sounded unfamiliar from his lips he was now referring to you as. Your body felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over it. “What?” You whispered. 

Astarion's eyes glowed once again as he continued talking and Cazador's expression melded into something… sadistic. Like he was enjoying the pain in Astarion's voice and the look of horror on your face. 

Astarion gulped. “I thought if I got into your good graces, you could help me.” 

“S-surely not,” you stammered. 

Your breathing quickened. You didn't want to believe him. Perhaps Cazador was forcing him into telling you a cruel lie but his next words sent an icy chill to your heart. 

The glow from Astarion's eyes faded as he looked into your own. “You're one of many people I've seduced,” Astarion said. “I've made countless false confessions of love for my own gain.” 

Cazador pushed Astarion's face away in disgust and the latter looked down at the ground, shame written all over his face.

“Astarion…” You whispered, hurt and betrayal whirling in your mind and in your heart as he looked up at you desperately. 

“I don't blame you,” Cazador said, walking over to you and caressing your cheek with his thumb. 

Astarion's eyes narrowed on the contact before he saw the tears begin streaking down your face. You tried to hold the tears in, not wanting to appear weak and foolish in front of either of these men, but you couldn't help it. 

“He's very convincing with that silver tongue. And who wouldn't fall for his good looks?” Cazador asked, placing his fingers under your chin and gently guiding you to look up at him. “No, I don't blame you for falling for his tricks one bit, my love.” 

The term of endearment from Cazador nearly caused you to retch, so used to hearing it said so lovingly from Astarion's lips. But Cazador leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips and you nearly recoiled in disgust, you didn't want anyone to touch you much less him, but you didn't have it in you to fight back. You sat in your seat in resignation, in heartbreak and in embarrassment. 

Cazador turned to Astarion. “Go clean yourself up, you've embarrassed me enough, boy.” 

Astarion stood shakily, his head lowered, unable to meet your wet, tearful gaze. “Yes, master.” 

You listened to his retreating footsteps and looked down at your lap, not wanting to look up at Cazador who still held your chin on his fingers.

“You've had a long day, my bride. Go rest.” 

With that, Cazador pulled away and stalked out of the dining room, leaving you to finally begin quietly sobbing into your hands. 

After a time of crying, you'd eventually calmed yourself down enough to risk the walk from the dining room to your own room, your head down and tears staining your skin. You were of course, utterly heartbroken for you had truly believed what you'd had with Astarion was something special, something real and worth fighting for. You truly thought you'd found a mutual love with him but it made sense you supposed, you were so upset when you'd come here. Weak, alone and malleable - so easy for him to worm his way into your heart. And of course, you were humiliated. Cazador was gracious enough to have excused your part in this love affair but you still burned with shame. He'd invited you into his home, asked you to be his wife and promised to lavish upon you but you had bedded one of his spawn. But it seemed he was still eager to wed you. 

You needed to know, why after what you'd done he was still going to wed you and you needed to know, did he have any inkling that you knew the true nature of him and his spawn? 

You'd made it to your bedroom but you turned back towards the staircase instead and walked in the direction of Cazador's study, instead. You needed answers. 

You stood outside his door and steeled your nerves before knocking on the door. You heard papers shuffle before a muffled “ come in” sounded through the cracks. You opened the door to find Cazador sitting in low lamplight, papers scattered across a large, fine, well-crafted wooden desk. 

“My lord,” you said with a curtsy, not moving from your spot in the doorway. “I'm so sorry to bother you.” 

“Not at all.”

You wrung your fingers together, not sure how to broach this topic but you started with the obvious. “About Astarion…” 

Cazador sneered but quickly opted to keep his face calm. 

“I must know, do you still intend for us to be wed? After what I've done?” 

Cazador let out a light laugh and stood from his seat, approaching you slowly. “Did I not already say all was forgiven?” He asked, coming to a halt in front of you and taking your hand in his. 

“Well, not in so many words.” 

He led you into his study and shut the door behind you, leading you to a cushy leather chair in front of his desk. You took the seat, looking up at Cazador with an expectant expression on your face and he leveled you with a calculating gaze. 

“You know more about me and my servants than you let on, don't you? That foolish elf told you all, didn't he?”

Your eyes widened and you gulped, unsure if you should confess or play dumb. But your hesitation and the slight quickening of your pulse was enough for the vampire. 

“I knew it,” Cazador hissed, his expression turning even more sour if you could believe it. 

You gulped and your heart stuttered in your chest. “Are you… going to kill me?” 

Cazador stood and gave you a wide, toothy smile, finally exposing his fangs to you. You flinched and made to stand but one of his hands came down onto your shoulder to keep you seated. “What would be the use in killing you after all I've done to get you here?” 

Your face twitched in confusion and you tried your best to relax back in your seat, Cazador's cold hand felt like an ice boulder on your shoulder. 

“As I continue to make my way up in the elite of Baldur's Gate, I find my progress stalling. I can't help but wonder why. I throw lavish parties, provide advice to the powers in charge and attend important meetings. Until I realised… The other lords and ladies of the gate. They're married, have respectable families, successors. I possess no such thing.” 

Cazador pulled away and leaned back on his desk, but he still towered over you. “Until now.”

“You brought me here as a showpiece?” You asked, your mouth falling open.

Cazador shook his head and his ruby eyes shone for a moment. “Oh no, of course not. We'll be wed, I'll present you to my peers as my wife. You'll bear my children and give me as many heirs as I wish.” 

You felt your throat fill with bile as Cazador spoke, his last point almost making you throw up right there. The thought of that with him and then carrying his spawn inside you… Your thoughts were in a tangle and you needed to deal with all of the information dumped on you today. 

Neither of you spoke, you didn't need to. Even with how sick Cazador's plans for you were, you were powerless. Refusal was suicide. And who was to say he wouldn't then kill your parents too? And Astarion… His soul damned to the hells for the rest of eternity. You had to find a way out of this. You had to kill Cazador, even if it was just for your own self-preservation now after Astarion's admission.

The vampire moved and you flinched before watching as he sat behind his desk and waved you off with a dismissive hand. Well, now that you knew the truth about his plan, there was no need to pretend like he actually liked you. You almost had the nerve to ask if he did, if there was any sort of affection for you on his part but you held your tongue and left the study instead. You didn't want his affection, anyway. 

You stood in the hallway of the palace, Cazador's ruse now brought to light, your wedding in two days… The day after tomorrow. You shuddered and felt your throat close up at the thought. Gods, now that you knew your options out of this were slim to none short of killing Cazador, Astarion had told you that his affection for you was a ploy and your future looked bleak with a forced, loveless marriage to a heartless vampire. What else was there to do now? 

You looked down at your feet and shuffled towards your room. Exhausted, heartbroken and hopeless. 

Two days. 

[lets-just-daydream]

i’ve just read all of “i loved you first”, and i love it! i love the idea of like all the staff being whipped for the reader because she’s so nice and cazador being completely perplexed like “why does everyone like her so much??” 😭😭😭

ahahaha thank you!! her dynamic is fun in a den full of vampires isn't it 😎

[lets-just-daydream]

Holy moley, I just came across I Loved You First and I completely devoured it! I absolutely love how you write the main character, I love that her strength is in her kindness and generosity to those around her as well as her love for reading (from a fellow bookworm!), and aaaaaa I love how protective Astarion grows of her!!! I can’t wait for more!!

ahhhhh thank you!! she's a lil cutie isn't she 🥺

next chapter will be up soon eheh

[lets-just-daydream]

The Ascendant's Brat

Astarion is busy, busy, busy. He barely has time for you anymore these days and you are not happy about it.

Was it the way he had a constant air of arrogance around him now? Was it that he was always surrounded by denizens of Baldur's Gate that vied for his attention and affections? Was it the way he so easily controlled you without needing to even try? It could be either of those things that had you grinding your teeth as you sat on the end of the table in your grand dining room.

You were supposed to be having dinner together. Astarion with his ability to eat delicious food once again and you with your goblet of blood. But Astarion was flanked by architects, showing him plans and asking for his input and approval.

That's all he seemed to do these days. Work, work, schmooze, attend balls with you on his arm and more work. He assured you it was all for your futures and to cement yourselves in the upper echelons of society for the rest of your immortal lives. But with how little attention he was giving you of late, you missed him.

You watched his lowered head as he pored over the plans. Then his hand raised and he gestured to you, his head unmoving. “Darling, come here a moment.”

He didn't even give you the courtesy of looking up at you. Your nostrils flared and you clenched your jaw.

“No,” you replied indignantly.

The chatter of the city planners died down and Astarion's head snapped up to look at you, a look of slight displeasure on his face but he let out a smooth laugh.

“I don't think you heard me, my love–"

“No, I heard you just fine,” you said, smug that you now held his attention and felt like you'd knocked him down a peg in the presence of all this unwanted company.

Astarion stared at you, his red eyes boring into your own. “Everyone, out.”

The city planners and architects looked around at each other but didn't stick around to bear Astarion's wrath. They filed out quickly and said their hurried goodbyes to the pair of you.

Astarion said nothing, but stood from his seat and stalked over to you, his finger trailing on the table. He stood above you and you looked up at him with an arched brow, waiting for him to speak. You stared at each other for a moment, the room deadly quiet. No heartbeats to be heard nor quickening breaths from your undead bodies. Astarion's hand came up and grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

“Is something the matter?” He asked, his voice smooth and calm as his thumb rubbed over your cheek.

“Even if there was, it's not like you'd care to notice,” you snarked.

Astarion raised you to your feet as he held onto your jaw, his gaze hot and angry. “If you're going to be a brat, I'm done being nice,” he hissed as he backed you against the wall.

You couldn't get a word in edgewise when his lips met yours in a hot kiss that was all fangs and tongue. He nipped at your lip and prodded his tongue against yours, claiming your lips with a fiery possession that would have left you breathless if you still needed air. His fingers gripped tighter into your jaw and you hissed at the feeling.

“Astar–”

“No, no,” he whispered against your ear. “You've been very bad and now it's time to learn your lesson,” he said as he turned you around, pulled your pants down and spanked your ass. “Very bad,” he groaned, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You're the one ignoring me and cavorting with your new lord friends and admirers. If I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't care for me anymore.”

Astarion went still and silent behind you, the sound of ragged breaths forced from his lips tickling your ear. In one motion, one of his hands tangled in your hair and the other forced your underwear all the way down your legs to join your pants pooled at your ankles.

“Astarion?” You asked, turning your head to look at him, but his grip in your hair was firm and he held you in place.

He pressed two of his fingers to your lips. “Open. Suck.”

You followed his directions, not uttering a word of complaint as he reached down and circled your hole. You felt your body relax at the familiar feeling of Astarion swirling and prodding, but he didn't take as much time with it as he usually did. He sank his fingers into you and you let out a moan that echoed throughout the room and certainly into the adjacent hallways. You rutted against his hand as he fucked his fingers into you, scissoring and stretching you until he was satisfied.

“You think,” he began. You tried to turn to look at him again but he forced you against the wall and you stared at the gaudy wallpaper. “You think I no longer… care for you, as you say.”

He pulled his fingers from within you and almost felt your body cry at the loss. You heard the slurp on his mouth and tongue around his fingers as he sucked them clean.

“Well I…” Your mouth went dry at the sound of him unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down.

“You what?” He simpered, using his body to push you against the wall.

You felt his length poke your ass and your brain short-circuited. All you could think of was the feeling of his cock sinking into you and his body against yours. But you weren't going to beg. He hadn't earned it, honestly and you were still feeling indignant over his treatment of you. But it didn't look like he was going to make you beg today. You felt the blunt head of his cock prod at your entrance and your body started to tingle at the sensation. You knew what was coming and you bit your lip.

You were shocked at the feeling of Astarion ramming his cock into you to the hilt and your body slamming against the wall, now sandwiched between it and his lithe form. You could barely keep up and your head spun as the hand that gripped your hair now came down to grip the front of your neck. Astarion's hips snapped back and forth at a brutal pace as he fucked into you, his breaths hot in your ear.

“I haven't given you enough attention? Is that what you're going to complain about?” He asked through gritted teeth.

You couldn't formulate two words as your brain melted at the feeling of his cock inside you, his free hand coming down to stroke you.

“You little brat, you just need attention, don't you?” He continued, squeezing your neck as his fingers worked you, the sounds of your slick and skin drenching him. “Needy little pet.”

The sounds of your slick, of Astarion thrusting in and out of you and your body thumping against the wall filled the room and you began to moan, crying out for your lover.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” you moaned, not even really knowing what you were apologising for, but it felt right.

You dropped your head forward and leaned against the wall as Astarion's hand applied more pressure to your neck.

“That's right, you're sorry for being a brat, aren't you?” Astarion said with a moan, thrusting into you faster. “Very unbecoming of the Ascendant Vampire Lord's consort.”

“Fuck,” you whispered, feeling your climax creep up on you as the sounds of his thrusts became wetter and sloppier.

Your legs began to shake and you clawed at the wall in front of you, Astarion’s fingers rubbing against you faster and harder, making you clench around him. “I'm going to–”

“Yes, that's right. Come undone for your master, pet,” Astarion groaned, his voice husky. He leaned down and pressed his fangs into the skin of your shoulder and drank a deep mouthful. “Exquisite. Your blood always tastes best in the throes of passion.”

You let out a hoarse cry as pleasure exploded through your body. “I'm… I'm coming,” you groaned, your forehead pressed against the wall as your walls throbbed around Astarion's thick cock, now pulsing within you. His deft fingers worked you completion as your slick drenched his hand.

“Yes, yes darling,” Astarion whispered into your ear. “That's it, come for your master.”

His voice strained as he thrusted deep within you and his pelvis pressed firmly against your ass, signaling that he was spilling his load inside you. Letting out a deep groan, Astarion pulled out of you and left a hot, sticky mess behind as he smiled down at your sweaty, panting form. You pulled away from the wall and your skin peeled away from the wallpaper when you turned to look at Astarion, his smile screaming his smugness in the silence between you.

“Better?” He finally asked, tucking himself back into his pants.

You blushed, kneeling down to grab your clothes and quickly redress, not saying a word. You didn't need to though, Astarion knew that he had you wrapped around his finger. You were always so eager for his attention, after all.

“Perhaps I have been too busy,” Astarion said, picking at his fingernails. “But darling, you know all of this… Everything I've been working so hard for; it's for you, for us and our future. I want to make the world perfect, just for you.”

He grabbed your arms and pulled you towards him and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Everything I do, I do for you. Don't ever forget that.”

Your unbeating heart swelled and you looked up at him. “I won't.”

“Good," he said with a grin that showed his fangs. “Remember this conversation the next time you want to act like a brat.”

He turned you around and slapped you on your butt, sending you on your way for a much needed bath.

[lets-just-daydream]

i just saw that previous anon and i also am obsessed with i loved you first!!! i’m always so anxious for new chapter updates 😁😝😜

thank you, you all are so sweet and it keeps me going 🥺

[lets-just-daydream]

I've just found the 'I Loved you First' story and I am loving it! 😍 I can't wait for chapter 12 and I can't wait to see how the wedding goes! 🤩

aaahhh! I'm so glad you're enjoying reading! im currently writing the lat couple chapters so i hope it's all worth the wait