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[letsgotubin]

The (Failed) Executioner’s Song

In 1970, Rip Torn missed a golden opportunity to make cinema history and rid the world of Norman Mailer with a few swings of a hammer. 

Chapter 1- The Maidstone Problem

The writer sat down to write and as he did he drew in a long breath and knew he was in for a trial that would challenge his mind, wither his spirit, test his testicles- a walk through hell of his own making. 

By his own estimation, honed through years of intellectual rigor and therefore quite accurate he believed, he was a far sight better than the average writer and not only that his penis was measurably longer and thicker than the average man’s and he was handier and more dangerous with his two fists than the average pimple faced twit who would dare taunt him in a bar while he drinks his whiskey over something he once said on the insipid Dick Cavett’s program. He would need all of his strength and will and courage and he knew he must go to extreme lengths to summon it. That is why the writer began each day by sparring three rounds with George Chuvalo, sometimes being knocked out cold before he could write a word. 

Im sorry.

I was going to do a whole write like Norman Mailer bit and I just can’t keep it up. I’m gonna vomit again. I say again because I already vomited watching Mailer’s vomitous swipe at an art film- Maidstone. This movie might be the worst thing to happen in 1970 including Kent State. 

Maidstone is a truly maddening film as self involved and pretentious and pointless as any I can recall. 

The French New Wave was obviously a huge watershed in film history and its mostly positive imprint and influence on the next generation of directors cannot be denied. Unfortunately, Maidstone is the kind of indulgent “improvisational art” film that the New Wave also inspired. It’s a good argument for anyone who says “we don’t need a script to make a film” to be tasered.

Anyway.... Maidstone’s “story” centers around Mailer playing a film director version of himself-Norman T Kingsley- who is making a film about a male house of prostitution. And so we’re treated to plenty of scenes of Mailer/Kinglsey ogling and “auditioning” young actresses for his male whorehouse picture. It seems that he may be doing a caricature of a bombastic, chauvinistic director but it’s more likely he’s just being a damn creep and calling it art.

Oh yeah, Kingsley is also running for president.

Ugh.

That’s important because at some point, according to this interview with Rip Torn, as wild eyed and manic looking as he ever was playing Mailer’s brother in law, Mailer wanted a few of the actors to attempt an improvised assassination of him on film. See? All you have to do is not write a script and give all your pals homework and viola, you’re a fucking auteur!

Anyway... this is what happens when you’re Norman Mailer in 1970 and you have your head so far up your own ass that you think it’s a good idea to let batshit Rip Torn write your ending for you.

Chapter 2- Post Fight Re-Cap

Okaaaaaay Jim!

I originally scored this round 10-9 for Torn. I thought he controlled the action throughout most of the fight, scoring two nice blows to the top of Mailer’s head with that hammer.

Then there was a lot of holding until Mailer chomped down on Torn’s ear Tyson-Holyfield style.  I’m gonna award Mailer a point for that. 10-10.

But I have to take away a point for Mailer just for making me fold into the fetal position watching his horrible film which included the line “Sex isn’t good when it stops smelling good.” Well folks, this picture smells like shit and I would fuck it with your dick.

And I’m taking another point from Mailer for stabbing his wife, nearly killing her in 1960 and basically walking away like nothing happened, never even apologizing. 

So, 10-8 for the winner and champion of the picture, Rip Torn!

I wanted to write about this clip because this is one of the first things I discovered on youtube, and I watched it and linked it several times. Out of context, it’s a fascinating bizarrely raw piece of footage. In context, well.... at least the film ends pretty much right after it. If you dont believe me and want to watch Maidstone in its entirety, the Mighty Tube has you covered right here.  One word of advice about watching Maidstone: Don’t!

As a reward for your patience and as a palate cleanser, watch this absolutely brilliant sketch from SCTV featuring Eugene Levy as Mailer and Martin Short as Gore Vidal. 

Chapter 3: Mailer Gets His Ass Handed To Him on The Dick Cavett Show

This one can just speak for itself. I will say I do love it when a talk show host defends their show from the attacks of a hostile guest and Cavett was masterful here. This is a just a fun bit of awkward classic television and a nice way to end this rather trying piece. Thank you for watching and good night!

[letsgotubin]

The Iggy and Lou Interviews Part 2

Hooray Success! That Iggy Pop is a Delightful Young Man

Little Jimmy Osterberg’s mother raised him right. Sure, the shirtless glam rock demon better know as Iggy Pop might have cut himself on stage and he maybe took out his giant penis and let it vibrate on an amplifier and he might have even introduced stage diving to a group of unwitting fans, maybe causing a contusion or two. But when it was time to sit down across from a talk show host and the cameras were rolling, the man was all class and charm. Don’t believe me? Well, I got some videotronic proof all cued up for you. For a self-proclaimed “inane dork” who identified with Alfred E Newman and Howdy Doody, once Iggy settled in for a sit down he was surprisingly intelligent, engaging and downright polite. Seriously. Check it out.

Iggy Explains Rock n’ Roll to Tom Snyder

Quick note- this entire episode is in the Tubin’ Linx below. It’s a pretty bizarre watch. Iggy follows a seven or eight year old Ricky Schroeder!

From the jump, this is the clip that best illustrates the stark contrast between brusque Lou Reed and affable Iggy. Snyder drops all kinds of snark bait from the very beginning.

But Iggy and his music are only intrusive to squares, and my man Tom is hip. 

Well, he’s not too cool to ask about Iggy’s monitors and more importantly, Iggy is not too cool to provide a patient and thorough answer. If Reed was in his place here, he would have dropped a 400 megaton spite bomb on poor Mr Snyder.

Instead, he casually bleeds and drinks his wine, careful not to let his missing tooth make him spill. When watching footage of Iggy from this era, one begins to notice that sometimes he has both front teeth and others he does not. That’s our Iggy!

Like everyone else, Tom has to ask about the self-mutilation. Iggy knows this comes with the territory. There’s an old showbiz adage, if you cut yourself as part of your act, eventually Tom Snyder’s gonna ask you about it. That’s how it goes, right?

And then he delivers that whole lecture on Dionysian vs Apollonian art. Go ahead, Professor Osterberg! In all of these interviews you can see a through line of silliness and self-deprecation mixed with sincerity, confidence and pride in his art. He’s such a sweet boy! How can you not love him?!

Stupid Igg Tricks

Iggy and Dave. Just two Midwestern boys done good shootin’ the shit. Pop was a fairly frequent guest of Dave’s on NBC and CBS, and you can see why. They get along quite well. You can tell Iggy likes it there. He sings with Paul and the World’s Most Dangerous Band instead of bringing his own.

Letterman starts with asking him about his formative experience of living in a Michigan trailer park. Now this is one of the most fascinating things I learned about Iggy Pop when I saw Gimme Danger (trailer linked below)- to look at him and to have just a cursory understanding of what he’s about you would assume that he hated his parents and ran away at fifteen. Nope. He loves his mom and dad and spends time on the golf course with Poppa Pop when he gets off tour.

A quick word about Iggy trying not to curse on network television- he’s not good at it. Circumventing the word shit with that whole flush the toilet bit on Snyder and here with the P-R-I, etc...Love it.

And another mention of self-mutilation and a dental debacle.

I think the audience is surprised that a guy who looks like this would use terms like “cross the proscenium” and “hebrephenic.”

The whole thing about the overweight girls doesn’t age well, but it was 1982. 

When they talk about Bowie, Iggy’s gratitude and admiration really shine through. That moment when Dave tries to pivot to golf is pretty precious and awkward.

I will say I’d give my left pinky toe to play golf with Iggy Pop. 

There are a couple more Iggy on Dave clips below- enjoy!

Talkin’ Nihilism with David Bowie and Dinah Shore

Now this one is truly one of the strangest combinations to ever hit the tube, Iggy and David Bowie on The Dinah Shore Show. They perform two songs from his extremely dark and twisted record The Idiot on the squarest of afternoon talk shows. The dynamic between Dinah and Iggy is instantly sweet, she treats him like a supportive but concerned aunt, “I’m gonna call you Jimmy....”

Accompanying Dinah on the couch is vaudeville legend Rose Marie, who by this point had seen it all twice. She may not be Iggy’s ideal audience, but I think she appreciates that he gets an audience’s attention.

I’m pretty sure this is the first and only time in daytime talk history that the phrase “I love nihilism” has been uttered. That David Bowie was a trailblazer even when he wasn’t trying!

I love when Dinah compliments Iggy for committing violence on himself instead of others as if Emily Post would approve- “That’s considerate.”

Not sure if I want to know that story about Iggy leaving that 13 year old girl at the airport. Runs counter to my “Iggy is a nice boy” narrative.

Now Bowie pointing out that his music is neck up while Iggy’s sound lives in his overstuffed crotch is pretty precious, but the pull quote of this entire show is when Jimmy/Iggy proclaims he helped “obliterate the Sixties.” Thank you, Mr. Pop!

After all the pleasantries have been exchanged and all the nice has been made, Iggy and David hit the stage again to do “Sister Midnight” which contains a line about having a dream about having sex with one’s mother (changed here of course- instead of mother was in my bad I believe he says the turtles were in my bed???) 

Then housewives all across the country turned off their TVs, poured their husbands an after-work scotch and put a roast in the oven.

“I’m the Most Inane Dork...”

Again- self-deprecation coupled with pride. He’s an inane dork. Alfred E Newman. A nerd before nerd meant smart, when it meant freak. But he makes a good piece of art. Amen.

Igg Drops Some Anthropological Science

Love this backstage clip of Iggy pounding booze out of a red solo cup and pontificating about rock n’ roll anthropology. Who among us hasn’t? But who among us has done it this well?

Tubin’ Linx Full Tom Snyder Show- Whole episode of Tom Snyder show that was excerpted above. Cued it up with about 30 seconds of Ricky Schroeder’s interview left just to set the mood.....

Igg-senio

Late Night with David Letterman 1988

“Success” On Austin City Limits

Gimme Danger trailer You haven’t seen Jim Jarmusch’s excellent documentary about The Stooges? I won’t tell if you go watch it NOW!!!!

Stooges 1970 Show Footage Narrated by the Real Ron Burgandy

Late Night with David Letterman 1986

[letsgotubin]

The Iggy and Lou Interviews Part 1

Are You Happier as a Schmuck? Lou Reed vs. Music Journalism

Lou Reed and Iggy Pop. Both were purveyors of dangerous druggy 1970s nihilism. They sat to the right and left of Bowie at the all-time ultra cool kids table, both having their careers resurrected and vaulted to new heights with his help. And, ahem, a little from Mick Ronson too. 

They had much in common- love for leather, drugs, Berlin, doing drugs in Berlin, etc. 

One way they differed wildly was their approach to one of the necessary evils of rock stardom- the interview. Reed, as you will see, was notoriously prickly (or just a prick) in many sit downs he had over the years. His answers were baffling, contradictory and almost always of as few words as possible. John Cale called it emitting “rays of hostility” to gain an advantage over his perceived adversaries.

Iggy was surprisingly aww-shucks Midwest folksy, self-deprecating and affable, deigning to engage sincerely with squares like Tom Snyder and Dinah Shore.

So you get where I’m going with this, right? Let’s watch some interviews with Lou and Iggy and dig their contrasting styles in dealing with a bunch of dumb questions. Lou goes first cuz he’s dead.

Anti-Social Behavior? What’s That?

This interview takes place in Sydney International Airport in 1974, apparently after Lou got off a twentyish hour flight, which obviously only strengthens the rays of hostility. 

The opening exchange about drugs is great and is pretty much Lou’s interview M. O. in a nutshell. The customs explanation is a practical touch from an obviously savvy traveler..

Lou’s just your average bleach blonde strung out guy trying to make a living definitely not in showbiz.

And how about that close-up of that sweater with Transformer Lou on it? I need one of those. Can someone please knit me a Lou Reed sweater?

The only time he gets remotely cordial is at the mention of “gutter rock” and his old pal and mentor Andy Warhol.

Otherwise, like he said, they told him to come in there. It was something to do.

I’m Not a Schmuck, Well, I’m not a brunette.

In 1975, learning absolutely nothing from the year before, the Australian press decided once again that it was a good idea to rap with Lou fresh off that little pond jump he just completed.

Apparently, “no, but if that’s all you got” is Reed for “yes, I would like some coffee. Thanks.”

Lou works this poor kid over like a cat playing with a nearly dead mouse.

He really doesn’t stand a chance, a dead man.  He reduces these poor schmucks to asking him what questions to ask him. At this point, Lou’s already won and is just running out the clock so he can go to his hotel and crash.

The idea of him having five clones he dispatches for profit is just a nice cherry on top. This was expert level trolling way before they called it that.

Lowest Form of Life

Oh man. Oh Lord. So cold. 

I feel like I need to be wrapped in an afghan and given a steaming bowl of chicken soup after watching this.

Maybe I should have warned you that your shoulders may be sore from all the bristling you would do during this clip.

Give it up to the kid. He may have been a terrible interviewer shitting his pants while he inadvertently insults a legend, but it makes for a hell of a rivoting, deliciously painful little documentary. It’s the kind of slow motion train wreck that keeps me spelunking through the murky depths of The Tube and you’d be hard-pressed to find a more catastrophic wreck.

“OBVIOUSLY I THINK SWEDEN IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT VERY MUCH.”

Mercy. This is like if the poor “Boom Goes the Dynamite” kid went back and revisited his notorious flop sweat flood. 

Lou’s just laughing by the end, this kid doesn’t even put up enough resistance for a proper bully session. 

Thirty years later, Lou still proves he has unassailable prick chops. Just gorgeous.

BONUS TRACKS

New Zealand

Here’s Lou praising compact discs, Police Academy and practicing his fake smile.

Bill Boggs is Just Crazy About Rock!

For some reason, Lou sort of takes it easy on this dweeby host. Maybe it’s because he’s a fellow New Yorker. You can’t say the same for his take on The Beatles.

Tubin’ Linx Swoop, swoop! Rock, rock!

Rock n’ Roll Animal Tour 1974

Street Hassle  Live 1980

Danish TV Interview 1984

Authenticity

[letsgotubin]

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TUBIN’ LINX

Hee Haw

Friday Night Videos

The Morton Downey, Jr. Show

USA Cartoon Express

Word to tha Motherfuckin’ George Michael Sports Machine

A Current Affair

Orlando Wilson Fishing Show

Night Flight

Arsenio

NBA Inside Stuff