letters2myfuturekid - Tumblr blog

[letters2myfuturekid]

apologies can be hard.

you can think you’re apologizing but the other person might not see it that way. you might come off defensive. maybe you had some miscommunication.

remember when communicating with people to acknowledge their side, acknowledge their feelings and how what you might have said or done made them feel a certain way or not been the best. 

a good part of resolving an issue is to acknowledge things you might not have said or done properly, maybe explain why you reacted the way that you did, how you felt and what came of it. maybe say some of your regrets of the interaction and apologize for what you may have done. 

for me, i might have been on the attacking side of things and not known it, because i felt like i was defending myself. other times i might have come off as seeming too defensive or attacking when neither were my intention at all.

what you say and how you say it is so incredibly important. wording can change the message and the different ways it can be perceived. just because you’re saying something doesn’t mean the other person will always interpret it with the message you were intending to send. 

[letters2myfuturekid]

mental health is so important.

you might be going through something you don’t know how to explain, might not be able to put words to it, describe it, hard to conceptualize, but you know you’re experiencing something that isn’t okay. 

it might be scary. it might be stressful, frustrating, painful, confusing, and that’s okay.

you don’t have to be stuck in that. 

for my future kid; tell me when things are wrong.

if you find us arguing, or if you feel yourself so overwhelmed and angry or screaming or whatever it may be; take a minute. remove yourself from the situation and say “i can’t think properly right now, please give me some time to collect myself and resolve this” 

things might be hard to say to people face to face or using your voice. if you feel like in the moment you can’t use your voice, or if you’re becoming frustrated with an interaction, you can always write down what it is you want to say, wether if it is explaining something or how you feel or the message you wanted to say, if there was a misunderstanding, etc..

write it down. it can be hard to communicate sometimes, especially in stressful situation. writing it down can help you put your thoughts together, word things the way you wanted to, help clarify anything, and also helps you not be interrupted by the other person and keep yourself on track.

it’s always best to try to use your words vocally and get into the habit of thinking before you speak, making sure your thoughts are together and what you’re saying holds the message you want to say. but if that fails, writing it down is a good alternative.

and you know, some subjects might be hard to find the strength to speak out loud. maybe you want to write it down, give it to someone, then go into another room when they read it. that’s okay. 

communication is so important, so find those ways where you can collect yourself to do it properly. 

[letters2myfuturekid]

it’s okay to say no.

it’s not negative to say no to something that you don’t want to do, something that makes you uncomfortable, something you know might not be safe.

if someone gets offended of you declining an offer or an advance, that’s not you being negative. they need to respect your boundaries. they shouldn’t have a problem with you declining. they should be understanding. and if they aren’t, well that’s a flaw in themself. 

do not fall to pressure. do not give in if someone seems like they’re not taking no for an answer. in that case, you will not be taking yes for an answer. you have set your boundaries, and you will not let them break you down. stand firm. it might get annoying, it might get frustrating, you might just want it to stop and get it over with. that won’t happen. if you want them to stop and they won’t, then walk away. get out of there. you will not let someone harass you or bombard you with something you do not want to do. it’s shitty of them to try to make you do something you already said no to. it is your body. it is your life. 

[letters2myfuturekid]

other drugs and substances

there are a lot of risks. a lot of them are addictive. that opens your brains connections in ways you don’t want it to. that leads you to be more susceptible to other substances and addictions. addiction is ugly.

there are a lot of fakes out there. those are so dangerous. so deadly.

even if you do get ‘real’ ones, they’re still risky. they can still be deadly. especially if you’re on medication. drug interactions are a thing.

for so long people who sell drugs, at least somewhere down the line, are likely to mix in or ‘cut’ it with other things to make their supplies last. make a little go a long way. make it seem heavier on scales when really the drug maybe only makes up 50% of what you’re getting. it used to be not as bad, like mixing coke with baby powder, baby formula, but now it’s gotten deadly. 

cocaine is being mixed with fentanyl. a few grains of that will kill you. it is so easy to overdose on fentanyl. even just through skin contact. police officers have overdosed from brushing it off their shoulder or unknowingly touching residue off of other objects. but for some reason people are mixing it in to be cheap.

sure, for drugs there are testing kits, but testing kits only sample a certain amount of the product. not everything. the tested portion may be safe, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the product is. a friend of my sisters was at a party with cocaine, people were using it, and at one point someone OD’d because they got to a portion that was mixed with fentanyl. 

even without overdoses, these drugs pose so many health risks. they’re so dangerous. so dangerous. in no way is it ever worth it. no matter what people say it makes you feel, if they enjoy it, it’s not worth it. they kind of brainwash themselves into thinking it’s enjoyable, too. 

out of all drugs, synthetic drugs are not worth it. they are deadly. even if they are ‘pure’ they can be deadly. it’s not worth it.

[letters2myfuturekid]

please don’t smoke cigarettes. please don’t get started with nicotine, the active ingredient in cigarettes. not even vaping. if you feel like you have the draw towards nicotine, turn to CBD instead. CBD is good for calming your system, mellowing you out, de-stressing. whatever might make you feel like you want to turn to cigarettes, CBD is the better alternative.

nicotine is highly addictive. that’s not something you want to get into. addiction is ugly. addiction is uncomfortable. 

cigarettes are full of harmful chemicals and other products that will likely kill you. highly carcinogenic. like in cases of alcohol abuse, people die from cigarettes even years after they quit smoking. and it’s painful. lung disease. lung cancer. tar. they turn black. the smoke you’re burning and inhaling has to go somewhere. some people need to have holes in their throats cut open to breathe or talk properly due to the damage of cigarettes. it’s so painful. it’s torture. it’s not worth it. 

i really hope that by your time nicotine and cigarettes would be a thing of the past. right now there is still a trend to some people. the generation above me didn’t know the risks of cigarettes at the time, but my generation and younger have no excuse. they know how harmful it is. they know the risks. they just don’t think it will get to a point where it will happen to them. but it will. at some point. 

i had some friends that got into smoking. i used to swear i would never have a cigarette but one day decided to try it. the phase i was in didn’t last long. i didn’t have a lot overall, and the last one i had made me puke. made me realize how disgusting it was and woke me up from just going through the motions to actually think about what i was doing, how harmful it was, how disgusting, and how it wasn’t something i wanted to get into. 

i can’t stand the smell. most people can’t. a lot of people have been verbal with how it’s hard for them to stand close to people that are smokers, to be in their car, their house, their bed. it can be suffocating. and the smokers become nose blind to it. their senses adjust and they can’t tell how bad and how strong it really smells. 

my generation and the generation below me, after it came out that smoking cigarettes had all of these ugly health risks, a lot of people switched to vaping nicotine. those were meant for those who were already addicted to then be able to lower their dose and help them quit smoking, but a lot of people started nicotine through vaping. they got addicted that way. 

vaping nicotine carries health risks, too. it can cause popcorn lung which is uncomfortable and irreversible, spots on your lungs, someone recently had a collapsed lung due to a nicotine vape known as a juul. 

despite the physical health risks, this is a highly addictive substance. this is not something you want to bargain with. addiction is serious. addiction is a disease. and this is not something you want to put on yourself. this is not something you want to put your brain through. connections in your brain you don’t want to open up that makes you susceptible to other substances and other addictions. 

it’s not worth it.

[letters2myfuturekid]

weed now is becoming legalized, more and more acceptable. but it still poses risks. 

your brain is developing in such a fast and deep way all through childhood, puberty, adolescence. putting substances in there can really mess up the final wiring. as of right now, 2019, we know that consuming marijuana under the age of 17 has shown risks. and those risks aren’t worth it. same goes for whatever new information has come out about age and risks.

if you’re above the age where it has shown to not interfere in those ways and not be harmful to your brain and development, there are currently multiple ways to consume it. 

right now smoking is the most common form. right now there’s a lot of comparison with weed smoke and cigarette smoke, and a lot of false information too, saying that weed smoke has no risk as opposed to cigarettes and their huge amount of health risks and problems from it.

but here’s the thing. inhaling smoke of any kind is bad for your lungs. especially long term. weed smoke still carries carcinogens. vaping is an alternative that people have been doing, though right now there aren’t a lot of studies to show if it’s 100% risk free that way, either. 

right now the way to take cannabis with the least amount of risk is to consume it orally. edibles, oil drops, those kinds of things. doesn’t mess up your lungs. 

i really hope that what we know of weed now still applies in the future, so that the main risks are just from the smoke

besides the smoke, there are other risks. sometimes it doesn’t matter how you consume it. it has been known to cause mental health problems. there’s drug induced psychosis (hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc), schizophrenia, other mental disorders. it can trigger underlying mental conditions that might not have been triggered if you didn’t have any in the first place. it’s a bargain. and for my kid; our family has a history of mental disorders. be careful.

marijuana is also used medicinally as well. but it’s not for everyone. just because it helps other people does not mean it will help you. it can have negative effects. just like any medicine.

allergies exist. i have a friend that is actually allergic to marijuana and thc (the leading psychoactive component in marijuana). he will go into anaphylactic shock and could die. that will always be a risk at first. 

if you consume cannabis, don’t let it become a habit. don’t let yourself rely on it or depend on it for any reason. don’t let it become a part of your day to day life. make sure that you’re getting it from a legitimate source. people lie. people will ‘trust their dealer’ but not everyone knows where it’s been down the line. make sure to get it from a legal licensed dispensary. even if the package looks legitimate, it might not be. people make fakes. people tamper with products. they could’ve originally gotten it from a dispensary but then tampered with it down the line to where it got to you. people lie. people are greedy. and people can make a damn good impression and be damn convincing of something just for their own personal gain.

[letters2myfuturekid]

being under the influence is to be saved for certain situations. parties, get togethers, whatever, as long as everyone is on the same page, and it’s in a healthy manner, and in moderation. if someone is uncomfortable being around you when you are under the influence, respect that. and don’t bring it into your daily life. habits form quickly. and though physically it might be okay, it’s unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

age limits exist for a reason. substances have negative effects on your body. do you see how fast people change from being a baby until they’re about 25? that’s because there is rapid development going on during that time. so much happening in your growth. just because you have already been born doesn’t mean that you’re not still developing. just like a kangaroo. they give birth to their babies, but then the babies will climb into their pouch where they stay and finish developing to a certain age where they can be on their own more.

when you’re in your teenage years, even at 12 and 13, you’re going through puberty. adolescence. even if there isn’t physical ‘proof’ yet of you going through puberty, it has already begun.

your brain and body are going through so many changes, trying to figure out and make brain connections, at some point trying to make its final connections, and substances can greatly interfere with those coming together properly. you don’t want to mess that up for the rest of your life. some things you need to wait for. and it’s not worth it. you don’t need substances. these all work through your bloodstream, effect your brain. that’s why you feel those effects, because it goes through your brain and effects your brain.

[letters2myfuturekid]

substances.

so as of right now as i’m typing this, on august 15, 2019, this is what i am to know. 

the most common things out there right now are alcohol and marijuana. 

alcohol is bad, plain and simple. it used to be what was the most socially acceptable for so long. but don’t let that fool you. the government makes money, corporations make money. kind of what makes the world go round. and they can be greedy. so they will make it seem okay. through media, tv shows, movies, in life, they may try to normalize it.

alcohol is damaging in more ways than physical. physically it effects your organs. causes actual damage that can at some point be irreversible. your liver being the main thing. and that’s not something to take lightly. liver damage can kill you. it does kill people. those who have had a history of alcohol abuse have died from it, even years after they’ve stopped drinking. the damage was already there.

not to forget straight up alcohol poisoning. when a person throws up from drinking it’s because their body knows they’ve had too much and is trying to get out as much as that poison out of their body as it can. but sometimes it’s already been past your stomach where throwing up will not get enough out. only prevent some new from coming in. 

alcohol can make you disoriented, lose touch of reality, disconnect you from your senses. at one point you might not even be able to really see. everything will be a blur, your brain can’t comprehend or process what is going on, what you’re seeing or hearing or feeling. sure, people can enjoy certain aspects of it, loosen up, have fun, but it is also so scary because so much could happen to you. someone else can do something. you might not be aware or have enough control of yourself to do something to stop it. you can also get into accidents, not be aware of your surroundings, fall and hit your head, get hit by a car or train, anything unsafe. because your senses are lowered.

it also is a depressant. and not just when you’re drinking it, but can last for a week afterwards. 

one of the most destructive things about alcohol is the way it can effect you, your family, your life, those around you. alcohol addiction is real. nobody thinks they’ll be addicted or become dependent on it. but it happens. way more than you’d think. and sure, maybe the first time you drink you might not be addicted, it might not always happen the first time. sometimes it does.  it will tear your family life apart. 

alcoholism is sloppy. it’s disgusting. it’s ugly. it ruins relationships. alcohol can make you act ways you don’t generally act. it can lower your sense of what is right and what is wrong, it can make you unaware of what you’re really saying or doing. people can become violent, too. they can seem not to care. not be respectful. people want to have connections with you, but when alcohol is there, it puts that block in the way. it disconnects you. and you might feel fine, but the other person does not feel it being fine when they’re trying to interact or connect with someone under the influence. people also at some point can be so sloppy, slurring their words, not making sense, stumbling. they pee themselves, they puke, and not just in the toilet. it’s so ugly. 

if you still want to drink, do it in moderation. just because someone is taking a bunch of shots and is fine doesn’t mean you will be. everyone has a different tolerance to alcohol. a lot of people get tipsy off of one drink. others might not feel tipsy until 3 drinks. that’s a silent killer, as well, because even if they don’t feel too drunk, it’s still in their system, still in their bloodstream, still doing damage. back to what i was saying, go at your own pace. take it slow. and drink water! it is very important to stay hydrated. alcohol might make you have to pee frequently and that drains your system of water. alcohol also dehydrates you and dehydration can cause problems, not to mention being unpleasant. 

puking from alcohol sucks. i hate puking. it’s so uncomfortable, causes me so much anxiety, and getting drunk enough to have to puke is not a level that is enjoyable at all. it can be scary, it can be uncomfortable to be too drunk, gross, you’d wish you were sober or not had that last drink. cause that’s all it can take sometimes. even half a drink. don’t feel like you need to finish every drink. it’s okay to discard a drink even if you had only one sip. if there’s half left, if there’s a little left, it’s okay to leave it. you don’t have to finish everything. 

for me, i don’t like taking shots. the times i have drank i’ve usually just had cider or some kind of cooler around 4% or 5% alcohol percentage. 4 of those have been too much for me. if i decide to drink, i usually stop at 2. i get to a level i enjoy, recognize it, recognize i don’t want to ruin it by overdoing it and it becoming unpleasant. 

alcohol takes a while to kick in to feel its effects, too. when you consume something by drinking or eating, it can take a while for it to make a difference because it takes time for your digestive system to absorb it into your bloodstream, which is then when it has it’s effect on you and goes and effects your brain. when you feel you’re at a good level, stop. don’t worry about trying to keep at that level because it is still processing in your system and will be there for a while. if you want to top up when you notice it fading, only have a little bit more. but it’s really best to avoid it altogether. 

and don’t take drinks from people. bring your own alcohol. people can tamper with drinks, even non alcoholic. they can spike your drink with drugs where you’re even more out of control or involuntarily pass out. always bring your own. have it sealed. don’t give it to someone to hold. even if you trust them. and don’t worry about trying to seem polite. it is also polite to decline or refuse a drink or an advance by someone else. if they have a problem with it, that’s a fault of their own self and their own morals for trying to force something on someone who doesn’t want it. that doesn’t mean you are being negative. you’re still positive or neutral. it’s not negative on your part to say no. if they fake being offended, that’s on them. it’s not worth risking your safety over. and if you’re on medications, if someone slips a drug in your drink it could potentially kill you due to drug interactions. 

being under the influence is to be saved for certain situations. parties, get togethers, whatever, as long as everyone is on the same page, and it’s in a healthy manner, and in moderation. if someone is uncomfortable being around you when you are under the influence, respect that. and don’t bring it into your daily life. habits form quickly. and though physically it might be okay, it’s unhealthy mentally and emotionally. 

age limits exist for a reason. substances have negative effects on your body. do you see how fast people change from being a baby until they’re about 25? that’s because there is rapid development going on during that time. so much happening in your growth. just because you have already been born doesn’t mean that you’re not still developing. just like a kangaroo. they give birth to their babies, but then the babies will climb into their pouch where they stay and finish developing to a certain age where they can be on their own more.

when you’re in your teenage years, even at 12 and 13, you’re going through puberty. adolescence. even if there isn’t physical ‘proof’ yet of you going through puberty, it has already begun. 

your brain and body are going through so many changes, trying to figure out and make brain connections, at some point trying to make its final connections, and substances can greatly interfere with those coming together properly. you don’t want to mess that up for the rest of your life. some things you need to wait for. and it’s not worth it. you don’t need substances. these all work through your bloodstream, effect your brain. that’s why you feel those effects, because it goes through your brain and effects your brain.

[letters2myfuturekid]

if something is happening that is making you uncomfortable, feel unsafe, or your not sure is right; speak up. tell me, tell a teacher, tell someone you trust. even if these feelings are brought on by someone you may have trusted.

sure, secrets are important, but not always. if you’re uncomfortable, unsafe, if it leaves you with a bad feeling, if you feel it isn’t right, you can speak up. rules don’t apply when it’s harmful to you. they might try to tell you to keep quiet. they might threaten you. but those are lies. they have no power over you. they want you to think they have the power because they are scared of you. because you are the one with the real power. if someone is touching you, if someone is hurting you, you can speak up and make it stop. they will regret it, because you will make them regret it. 

they might try to make you feel ashamed, or like it’s your fault. but it’s not. you don’t control them. they do these actions on their own and nothing you say or do will force them to do those things. it’s on them. 

people get sad in life. things happen. don’t worry about me being sad because you’re afraid telling me what is going on will upset me. i care. i love you. this might be the hardest thing to face, worrying about making me sad with this information. if it happens more than once, i will be more upset that i didn’t realize or do something sooner than if you told me right away. and the more time goes on, the more that sticks. but even if it gets to that, don’t worry about my feelings. that is love. some things need to be faced. and i will do everything in my power to make sure that you are no longer in that situation and the bad person will be brought to justice. 

[letters2myfuturekid]

i’ve never been in a physical fight. i’m so unbelievably proud of that.

i’ve come close to being in one, though. 

a girl i had on-and-off issues with tried to fight me once. the whole friends then enemies then friends then enemies thing (which is never going to be healthy for you, and is unfair to your self and soul)

winning that fight felt absolutely amazing. especially because there was no fight.

i was in high school and she came up to me when waiting for the school busses. she went right up to me yelling in my face, being negative, mean, trying to get into a physical altercation with me. but man, did she ever really know me? i’m a pacifist. i don’t fight. i hate negativity. 

so do you know what i did? nothing.

in this case she was shorter than me, so since she was in front of me in my ‘face’ (or at least trying to be) i showed no sign of her existence. i didn’t react to her. i didn’t look scared, i didn’t wince away, i kept acting as if she wasn’t even there. continued looking right over her head, not saying a word, not giving any acknowledgment she was even there.

very quickly, she marched away in defeat.  and then she went to my other friend at the time where they got physical, hair was pulled, extensions were thrown on the grass, hands were flying.

but not me. i won my fight. and in the best way possible.

i don’t know what i would’ve done if she did touch me, though. because there are people out there that might actually do that. so my advice would be to pretend they aren’t there, but at the same time be aware of them in your mind so you can defend yourself if things come to it. 

if i haven’t already, please get into self defence classes. the kind where at first you can learn to dodge an attack, protect yourself without attacking them. be on the defensive side. you might have to end up touching them at some point to defend yourself and that’s okay. you can move their arms, you can deflect their attacks. and if at one point you need to be on the offensive side, you know what to do. but please, don’t be quick to fight back. defensive and deflective mode, first. 

[letters2myfuturekid]

people can be rough. people can be mean and nasty and it will hurt. 

sometimes you need to take a step back and see if what they’re saying is hurtful, or the fact that they’re saying something trying to cause harm and pain and being negative to you. the content of what they’re saying might not be something negative, but they’ll find a way to try to make it negative. separate the two. the thing that they’re trying to tease you for or bully you for; is it really wrong? 99% of the time it’s not. they’re just looking for anything to be negative about.

don’t be ashamed for what they want you to be ashamed for.

if you want to do something about it, question them. why is it wrong? what makes it wrong? how is that a bad thing? why is that a bad thing? keep questioning. question their responses. they can’t give you a valid reason. if you feel like you can, speak up about it. tell them they can’t give a valid reason and they’re trying to cling on to something to spread negativity about. show them how irrational they’re being. how uneducated. they’re the dumb ones for thinking something is negative or trying to make someone feel bad.

when you speak up and question them in a place of confidence, when you know the answer, puts that power on to you. you know they can’t come up with a logical, factual reason for why that thing is negative. so you stand there as they stumble over their words, not being able to give any legitimate reasoning. call. them. out.

look at you. you want to be happy. you want others to be happy. they’re spending their time spreading hate and negativity, and that’s a flaw in them. they should be the ones ashamed. they’re the ones with issues.

i don’t know how things will be when you come around, but maybe the world will turn around and ‘bully’ those for being negative and trying to bully others.

remember logic. remember to separate what words their using with what emotion they are trying to force. 

looking a certain way isn’t bad. liking harmless innocent things aren’t bad. what’s bad is trying to make other people feel bad. what’s bad is wanting to hurt others. they might want to make you think that there’s something wrong with you, but there isn’t. don’t listen to what negative belief they are trying to force on you.

in life there are facts. in life there are opinions. and people can have some pretty dumb and irrational opinions. listen to facts. there are no facts in saying that something or someone looks ugly. there are no facts that liking something harmless or innocent is a bad thing. what is a fact is that they are trying to spread hate and negativity. sometimes they might try to state a fact as if it’s a negative thing. at some point people were bullied for eye colour, hair colour, skin colour. there’s nothing wrong with it. there are no facts to make those things negative.