leyniealwaysonthego-blog

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Loving this medal! Best medal of the season so far !!! Beautiful sunny day and beautiful views! Bit hilly though and not best time, but under an hour #59mins #medalmonday @runr_uk @womensrunninguk @barryisland10k (at Barry Island)

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3 years ago, I was sat for an entire day and night in a hospital room. It was the quite simply the worst day of my life. Some days are just easier than others, and some days you just have to get through! Today has been one of those days. 3 years in you’d think that I’d have some more control on my emotions, but every time I think this year is worst than last. I miss her every day. I’ve tried to think positive thoughts of how proud she’d be of her 2 amazing grandchildren and look back at lovely happy pictures of her and of some wonderful memories, but still I am angry that she’s gone and I keep coming back to think of how much I would like to talk to her about nonsense and things that aren’t nonsense and I am sad. I’ve been searching for sage wisdom about loss and how to get over it, and these are the best definitions of how I feel: “I still feel, 20 years later about my mother, I still have shock within me . . . People say shock can’t last that long, but it does. You never get over it. It’s such an unbelievably big moment in your life that it never leaves you, you just learn to deal with it.” (Prince Harry) and • "I’ve never been the same since my brother died. There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50% happy and 50% sad at any given moment, and the only advice I can give people when you lose someone like that is you won’t ever get over it, and the more you know that and embrace it, the better off you’ll be." —billy bob Thornton

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Month 3 of the year of running. Cardiff Bay 10k ✅ first run with the lovely @libbyhpayne ✅ still time to donate for my year of madness - www.justgiving.com/leyniepearn

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Month 3 of the year of running. Cardiff Bay 10k ✅ first run with the lovely @libbyhpayne ✅ still time to donate for my year of madness - www.justgiving.com/leyniepearn

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Today the organisers of Bath Half Marathon confirmed that after a lot of deliberation they’ve cancelled the race on Sunday! I’m not going to lie, I’ve been talking myself out of the run all week with it being so cold and not trained to my fullest due to ongoing ankle injury. However, I am going to continue my year of running and next race is Cardiff Bay 10k on 25th March. I have also signed up to a replacement half in Swansea in June. So thank you for your continued support in my fundraising for @cancer_research_uk_ and I will not let you down!!! Xx

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I’ve been baking up a storm today - flapjacks, brownies and Grandma’s Jumble Cake, a recipe passed down from mother to daughter. All to be sold as a bake sale in work tomorrow, with proceeds going to my fundraising. As day 2 of my challenge, I’ve been swimming with the kids and out for a walk with Leo and Grandpa. #nostalgicbaking #inmemoryofmum www.justgiving.co.uk/fundraising/Leynie Pearn

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I’ve not been fantastic at keeping my blog updated on progress, which has been slow due to injury, and the thought of running the Bath Half next Sunday is daunting as I’ve really not put in anywhere near enough the training! But I’ll give it my best shot as this cause is so very close to my heart and  I’m determined to do the best I can, in memory of my mum and all those that I know who have been affected by Cancer.

So what have I been up to this far?

So January’s challenge was Mind’s Run Every Day, which did not quite work out to running every day - and probably exacerbated my ankle injury. So apart from a forced week off to rest, I may not have run every day, but I definitely kept up the ethic of exercising every day.

February’s running challenge was completed last week - by taking part in the @runthroughuk Greenwich Park 10k. This was by no means the easiest 10k I’ve ever done, as it involved 3 laps of the park, but it’s always nice to do a run that’s not in your own back yard, so to speak. 

As I said, I’ve got @bathhalf next weekend, and I’ve started a week full of challenges, to make it even more difficult for myself, today’s (day 1) was climbing Corn Ddu, the second highest peak in South Wales. Ably accompanied by my “mini mountain goat”, Lili. I’ll be posting updates here and on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEKQFDkfH8DI6QQFbVR0Rg?view_as=subscriber) 

Help me get through this crazy year and raise money for Cancer Research and eradicate this awful disease. www.justgiving.co.uk/fundraising/leyniepearn

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Day 1 of challenge 2018, raising money for @cancer_research_uk_ a lovely, cold, crisp 4 mile walk (or slog) up to #cornddu with views of #penyfan . Only 7 more days to go and ending with @bathhalf www.justgiving.co.uk/fundraising/leyniepearn (at Penyfan Mountain)

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The Dreaded Unidentifiable Muscular Pain and New Shoes!

So my progress hasn’t quite been what I wanted this month. It started off really well, I was running every day and I was building up the miles and then suddenly it all came crashing down around me. My ankle and my left leg began to ache every night and then I was getting twinges just walking around....it was the dreaded unidentifiable muscular pain issue! Whether it was over exertion, whether it was the fact that I needed new shoes and I just couldn’t quite afford them over Christmas, whether it was just years of running, who knows. 

So I had to give in, I had to stop running. Which when you are training for a half marathon and also counting down the 200 miles of my challenge is not such a good thing!

Not running or doing very much, I also started feeling really low “my black cloud” was overhead, I wasn’t sleeping, everything seemed against me.... it wasn’t until I went to give blood and I was turned away for low iron count, that it clicked into place. I was suffering from anaemia. Yet another block in the road, telling me to slow down and have a bit of time off, and also to start thinking about looking after my body and maybe take some iron tablets.

So I have been grounded for a week and a half (I’ve been doing odd bits - couple of HIIT workouts here, couple of horse riding lessons there, and cycling and walking! Doesn’t sound much at all does it), but today the cure all arrived, well at least for my ankle! NEW SHOES!!! Yay! 

I’ve done a lot of research on these shoes and they are supposed to be one of the best shoes for overpronation, so I’m ever hopeful that my running can now get back on course. I’m off out now for a short run and I’ll let you know how it goes!

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I’ve heard of depression being described as “the black dog” and “black cloud”, for me it is a lethargy and fog that I can see coming. I’ve felt it’s presence for the last couple of days, and paradoxically I’ve been doing Mind’s Run Every Day this month, which should be helping to ease this feeling. My usual coping mechanism is to keep moving, running away from these feelings....which could be why my Instagram name is @leyniealwaysonthego. A weakness or a coping mechanism...who can tell? However, I’ve managed to injure my ankle, so at the same time as this “fog” has hit, I’ve had to pare back on the running. In the hopes that I’ll heal sooner, so I can maintain my fitness for the year of activities I’ve got planned. Not ideal timing....So instead of my long run, I took myself out on a walking tour exploration of Penarth. It was a lovely walk and good to be out in nature (with the bleak tree pictured, so like my brain and the beautiful murmuration of the crows (video)); to see so many others enjoying the winter day, and to just have a bit of alone time (another coping mechanism) and time with my thoughts and chance to listen to @iamabfalecbaldwin’s fabulous and profound tête-à-tête with @barbrastreisand (worth a listen folks). I’m not saying I now feel totally fine, but it certainly helped. But the issue is I need to get better to keep running and raising as much money for @cr_uk as I possibly can, so please help with the moral and monetary support - reason I’m running in the link and bio https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/leyniepearn

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I’m not sure if it’s just cos I’m getting older, that I know more people being diagnosed with cancer, or whether it’s the statistic that 1 in 2 of us will be affected with cancer in our lifetime, but since my mum died in 2015, I’ve been determined to do my part and raise money for Cancer Research, because cancer really does suck! For those affected with the parasitic disease, for those that watch their loved ones suffer and for those left behind. So 2018 is the start of My year of challenges, which actually started on 19th November last year as I try to complete 200 miles before @bathhalf , I’m currently at 133miles with 8weeks to go, and to go alongside this I’m doing the #mindruneverydaychallenge for January, which is not as easy as you think especially when you work full time, have two kids and try to maintain some semblance of a life and the fact that it’s been blumin freezing lately !! The reason behind this long paragraph, is to ask for your support and keep me going because I have a feeling that this year is going to be hard work and the support (moral and monetary)will keep me motivated. Just £1 will do! https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/leyniepearn

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I’ve been really hesitant to look back at the goals I set myself for 2017, as the year has flown by so quickly with no real sense of achievement other than feeling stressed, exhausted and like I haven’t really given any thing my all. I’ve done lots, but there has been a real sense of lack of fun and fulfilment. I’m hoping that with another challenge in my sights and the hopes of something different in work that 2018 could be a better year, and also having a refocus on family and friends, and being calmer and more present mum and friend will help too. So for 2018, the goals are: 1. Run, run, run - I signed up to Bath Half Marathon, after promising myself to give up running, but the running bug got me and the challenge of raising some more dosh for#cancerresearch, I would do another week of madness leading up to #bathhalf. As well as doing some running challenges every month of the year - January (@mindcharity RED - run every day); Feb (10k in Greenwich park); March (bath half and Cardiff bay 10k); April (Newport 10k); May (tbc); June (Swansea half); July (race for life with mia and lils); august (Barry island 10k); sept (Cardiff 10k); Oct and nov (tbc) and dec (Santa jog). Not much....worth a bit of dosh for #cancerresearch https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/leyniepearn 2. Read 40 books - last year I managed 35, but wanted to up the target and read more of an eclectic mix. 3. Spend more time with family and friends - I’m planning a 2 week break in August to travel round the country visiting family, and I’m trying to be a better friend and not forget to text back and remember birthdays, and spend time with you all and do nice things with my two lovely munchkins and hubby, and be the person I am, but gets lost in busy-ness and day to day rubbish!!! 4. Be kinder to myself. Think this could be the toughest one. I’m my worst enemy and my toughest critic. I saw something posted on Facebook about “action for happiness” calendar, which I’m determined to follow. I’ll let you know how I get on. Hope you all have a fab 2018 and reach your potential and live your dreams xxx

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The plight of the runner’s toes

Let’s set one thing straight, I have never had nice toes. The are squat, misshapen and some of the toe nails are non-existent.

If you were to compare them to a literary creation, you’d think of Snow White, the eight dwarfs and two ogres (that’s the big toes). You’d think that JRR Tolkien may have used them as the basis for the orcs in Lord of the Rings.

I have long tried to hide them from public sight, I do not own sandals or flip flops, and even in the highs of summer they are covered in socks.

So when last year I set out on my week of madness, I was mortified when after the Cardiff Half Marathon I took of my trainer to find even uglier toes. Two of the toes were swollen, discoloured and even more disfigured than before.

I buoyed myself for a visit to the Doctor, as the week of madness and fundraising was more important than my loathing and embarrassment of my toes.

When my name was called, I walked sheepishly into the Drs office, and before sitting down I started to apologise profusely for the monstrosity he was about to see. I envisaged that he would run screaming in disgust from the office, or call all his Dr friends and point and laugh at the freak show, or maybe add me to a medical journal!

Amazingly he didn’t, he must have learnt restraint as part of his education. Instead he let me know that I had an infection and needed antibiotics. I also got a wonderful toe bandage to wear for the remaining part of the week of madness, so there wouldn’t have been further trauma.

Since then I have continued to run, and I have constant bruised toe nails and nails that I’m sure need to be removed as they are so deformed, but I am yet to pluck up enough courage to visit the Dr or podiatrist.

So the reason for this post, yes there is a reason....If my fundraising efforts for a wonderful charity is not enough, just give a little thank you to the Gods and the genetics that have given you nice normal feet and that you don’t have 10 Toe-Orcs that look up at you from your feet everyday!!!!

And maybe just donate a pound or two to www.justgiving.com/leyniepearn for the damage I inflict on my already terrible feet, because although they are damaged beyond measure, I do it all for Cancer Research to raise a bit more money!!

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step!

My mum died in May 2015 from Cancer, and although I don't think she knew she had cancer, her body was riddled with it. She wasn't ill for very long (about two months), she was diagnosed with breast, lung, liver and bone cancer and died two days later.

Last year I raised over £2,000 for Cancer Research by completing a week of madness (7 events in 7 days, including 2 half marathons), and it was all down to the amazing generosity of family, friends and even people I didn't know that kept me going. The whole thing was physically and not to mention emotionally draining, but it helped me to grieve and feel like I was doing something to honour my mum, who I miss terribly.

Since I did this last year, there have been so many people who are close to me (family, friends and colleagues) that have been affected by Cancer, and £2,000 just isn't enough to keep searching for a cure and to provide support for those affected.

Cancer is everywhere and if I can do my small part to help fund research to stop someone losing a loved one then that makes me feel better, so please help me to do that....

I realised that I needed to do something bigger and more challenging to raise money. So I'm not going to lie, I have obviously done a half marathon before, but a secret that you may not know is that I REALLY don't like running, it is a challenge for me....

So my plan is: 1) 200 miles in 100 days (that's either 2 miles a day, or 14 miles a week) - I work full time, I've got 2 children,  and as anyone close to me will tell you, I'm rather a busy person and it's winter so it's dark and miserable all the time! - So that's challenge 1

2) Challenge 2 - Bath Half Marathon - not the flattest of cities! And pure and unadulterated training to get an under 2 hours time! Something I've tried my hardest to achieve and never have!

3) 9 days worth of challenges to get to the Bath Half Marathon - this time including loved ones, friends and anyone else willing to take part! Saturday 25th Feb - Sunday 4th March

So far on the 8 day list is:

A 10k run from work with anyone who'll join me!                                            A climb up Pen Y Fan                                                                                             Ice skating - Mia's choice                                                                                      And I'm hoping to organise a paid for clubercise / zumba / insanity work out - if I can get someone to help us out with this!                                 4 other things - yet to be decided                                                                       Finishing with Bath Half Marathon on Sunday 4th March

This will all be supplemented by cake sales, sweepstakes, and anything else to help raise money for this very important cause.

Thank you so much for helping to eradicate Cancer and helping me to remember my Mum and do my bit.

Leynie xxx