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[life-picked-up-along]

Update

I got an 18,5/20 for my mock orals, and I’m upset because I could easily have gotten an 19,5 as I just forgot to conclude which is so easy… anyway that’s still way better than the average so I’m satisfied.

I got my written exam and that went well I guess, not as well as I hoped but good. I’m gonna wait around for the results (4th of July) and until then I still have the oral exams.

I am feeling terrible. I don’t know much about it, the why, the how, and I don’t sleep. I blocked almost all of my social medias, and now I really don’t know what to do.

After my oral, which I didn’t even start preparing for (it’s in 8 days), I’ll have a brand new room (the colors is in and the floor will be by tonight !) and I will install everything, start living in it, the perfect occasion to create new habits and embrace my state of mind by being the nicest person I can to myself. I want to read all of my picsou magazines again to feel like a kid, prepare my own food, work out, do nothing laying on my couch (I’m gonna have a couch in my room !!!), just let the sun come in (if it ever stops raining), turn of my phone, watch great movies.

I may go to Greece with my best friend but that’s very uncertain and I’m also starting to think that 2 weeks with the home for myself wouldn’t be the worst thing at all, although there would be a worker who would be constructing my mom’s office (my actual room).

Anyway, Greece would also be cool. I don’t know what I want; I don’t feel good where I am, but I don’t want to be anywhere else either, neither in the past nor the future.

I can’t wait to install my room anyway, as my actual room makes me feel so bad, it’s small and grey, crowded, decorated to my 11 years old taste, which were very good already if I may, just a little too cozy hygge light wood for me nowadays.

I’ll try to keep up this account.

Yesterday it was the music party in paris and we went to a concert with many friends of mine, it was cool I guess but as I said many many times already I don’t feel good so it was tiering.

Today I’m exhausted, I barely sleep these days, I’m watching Gilmore girls and I should be working and I will.

[life-picked-up-along]

Thougts

About the mock orals, I'm kinda ready ?? Not as I could be and obviously I will have to work some more tomorrow before school (and during the physic class let's be honest), but I'm happy with what I achieved by tonight already.

These past few days I have been thinking about how next year will be my last year of highschool, and how miserable I have been during all the years I already spent there, and before even. Like during summer I'm always feeling up to autumn and winter, but when it's there I'd give anything for it to go away. However, I'm (again, by the end of the school year and beginning of summer) feeling energized and motivated for a new school year. I don't want to lose this feeling, I mean I know I wil but I want to be able to gain it back around the end of summer, so I'm gonna write here my realistic ideas for a better seasonal mood.

-Listen to spooky podcast (what is even that I just learned it existed)

-Go work at a cafe that would be mine, like not those cafes everybody goes to, because I want to feel at home

-Get that subscription to the library sorted out to be able to go in there and take anything if I feel like it

-Remember that school is just a process of learning new things and sure you're gonna gest tested sometimes but that's not the point, what matters is to be curious for eveything

-Read a lot, a whole lot, anything really who's gonna care for what I read in the train anyway

-get some rest, some sleep, which means I've got to keep up with my studying by instauring a routine I'd stick myself to always, like going to the library after school when it's open, otherwise to the cafe, stay after school until my work is done and then come home so that my bedroom is a place to rest

-sometimes, take the train before the usual to stop by starbucks in the morning because I'm always missing out on seasonal drinks

-reserve the saturday's afternoon for resting, like literally sleeping or watching a movie, or reading... Try and avoid more "small" divertisment like instagram, tik tok...

-My room is gonna be the cosiest place to spend fall and winter anyway so that's amazing and exterior factor are pushing me to keep myself in my best shape (by starting salsa haha)

[life-picked-up-along]

Hi, I'm terrified

I have mock orals tomorrow and I'm not near ready, which means I have tons to do by tonight.

I have to :

-Annotate le prologue de Gargantua and les acteurs de bonnefoy

-Write an introduction for each of those texts and a conclusion as well

-Learn everything by heart

-Revise the older texts because you never know

-Rewrite my cursive (the end most importantly)

-Learn my cursive by heart before I pass in front of my mother, at 16:50

If all of that is achieved by tomorrow, 11:30, I am the greatest of the world. Note to self : I can always wake up earlier but it's very risky as I could totally just oversleep.