life-with-a-4yearold

[life-with-a-4yearold]

Do you ever get them days where everything seems to annoy you? Anxiety goes through the roof even though there isn’t anything to be anxious for? Days where you feel yourself being miserable but cant snap out of it? When you feel like all you want to do is sleep. When your partner does FUCK all to help! And you feel sooo deflated because all he says is “ive been to work all day” all you wanna do is cry? That’s how im feeling now. All I wanted him to do was bath our daughter and get her pjs on while I finished clearing up dinner and walked the dog. I couldn’t even do that… I just wanted to scream and cry and in all honesty just leave and never come back. I have had enough of being treated like a mug and not being able to do things I wanna do. Id love to be able to sit in piece with a glass of wine watch a couple episodes of my series and scroll through my phone. By the time I have done dinner bathed her walked the dog cleared dinner up had a bath myself and cleaned up toys and whatever else I have had to do, im just shattered! And want to go to bed. Its never ending I feel like im a single mum when im not? I have a partner and no matter how many times I tell him Im struggling or need him to help me he just ignores me. Im on my own and I don’t need to be. Why should I feel like this we should be a team and be able to help each other, I don’t expect him to do everything I just want him to bath and put her pjs on while I clean and clear the kitchen. Is that so much to ask for? Im not sure what I am trying to get at here but I just needed to vent and let it all out.

Im planning on having  day to myself tomorrow, films blankets and snack while she is at play school. Ill do the cleaning I need to do and then that’s it. Im finished may even get a take away so I don’t have to cook, ill probably be called lazy but to be honest I don’t give a flying fuck anymore. Im shattered im stressed and everything is getting on top of me. I feel myself being more moody with my daughter and it isn’t her fault. I have made a camp out for her as that’s what she wanted to do and im able to sit here and write this while my partner lays in bed all nice and peaceful, I sometimes think I make it worse for myself and instead of being just happy I make a major deal out of everything.

Its only 19.06 here and feels like its 01.00 its been such a long and stressful day that I don’t think I could actually handle anything else. Lets hope and early night and some good sleep will make me feel better tomorrow.

Life-with-a-4yearold!

[life-with-a-4yearold]

EXPOLSIVE!

Here we go again, another experience for you all this literally happened about 20 minutes ago, decided to take my dog for a walk, well now I wish I never the little fucker (well big fucker) only has explosive diarrhoea all over the road and path and I had nothing to clear it up with! My dog shit bag was not enough for this! So I’m trying to hold the dog and usher my 4-year-old away from the shit so she didn’t stand in it! Not only has she stood in it already, but she gagged and decided to sick on top if it. So now I got a dogs explosive diarrhoea I have now got baby sick all over the road to. I had to go to the shop buy a massive bottle of water go back to the scene of the crime and try and wash It away! I wanted to ground to swallow me up! Got home and rung my partner and all he said was “oh” oh??? Is that it?? Not even are you alright sounds quite bad, or even a ill buy a take away for dinner have yourself a nice bath. Haha who am I kidding I cant even have  shit in piece let alone a bath! Ive either got the dog watching me my 4 year old or my husband or all 3. Same as when I have a bath everyone decides they need a shit right before or during! So then must wait for the smell to fuck off before I get in it!!! All I wanna know is why? I feel like us mums go through hell lol. Thinking about leaving my husband so I can get a weekend to myself a couple times a month lol.

I’m rambling now time to go!

Life-with-a -4yearold!

[life-with-a-4yearold]

Rambling about shit really.

Life-with-a-4yearold back again, hope everyone is doing well and not to stressed over the thought of the school holidays coming up ? because I no I am! She only goes to pre school 3 days a weel 9-3 but they are lovely days, I can get things done or I can lay up my sofa and do fuck all. Because you no what WE DESERVE a break every now and then. Anyway what the hell are we going to do to keep the kids entertained for so long ? need to be a millionaire to do anything these days. Im tired just thinking about it. All honesty I love spending time with my daughter but 6 weeks of a 4 year old that acts like a 14 year old is far to long for me. Thinking about setting up a baby sitting group in the village and then we can all get a break. Not sure how I feel about other peoples kids I don’t really like them so maybe its not a great idea…..

I would love to be one of the mums that has all the neigbourhood kids over and lets them play and you no the “cool mum” but I just aint got it in me. I avoid eye contact at the school in hope no one speaks to me then as soon as she walks through the gate with the teacher I scurry of home back to my happy place till 3pm then I have to do it all over again. I no terrible. Since when did everyone become so talkative I don’t care that your kid shit in the toilet for the first time, that’s their business you wouldn’t say “I had a shit in the toilet today” to someone you hardly no? like great now I no your kid had a shit, life complete. Yes I get it it’s a milestone well done but im sure there are people who you are closer to that you can tell, not someone who avoids all communication. Talk about making things awkward. They has their taster day at school the other day for then to go in to reception. I had this weirdo going round asking for peoples numbers so they can set up at whats app group for the new class. Now im getting random messages of people I don’t know asking when the next coffee club is ? THANKS VERY FUCKING MUCH. Probably come in handy as I am the one who forgets everything and have to text the one person I actually like to find out whats going on that day nearly missed sports day.

I need to try and find things to do with her as shes a very active child and wont sit and watch the tv or ipad and yes I do let her have ulimited screen time as she never watches it really anyway, not that I begrudge anyone that lets their kid have screen time. Sometimes it’s the only way to get on with something.

We try and make things fun the child isn’t deprived of anything shes well fed well looked after and quite frankly spoilt rotten! She has a 15ft swimming pool, 12 ft trampoline and a climbing frame along with multiple toys in the garden. Its good for her but then we always get the neighbour hood kids wanting to come over, even though they aint friends with my kid. Or I get their mums messaging me asking what im up to and if I fancy a coffee, then comes the “your house or mine” knowing they want me to say my house. This is all before ive even answered the fucking question lol. I sound so miserable but im here for a good time I don’t wanna be used for the things I have. I like to sit in the garden with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer and have a good old chat putting the world to rights, I don’t need the fake shit. I don’t need to be friends with everyone. I will never stop my daughter playing with certain kids and id still let her have sleep overs. Im happy with the few friends I have that we can meet on a Saturday afternoon at the local have a few to drink and then come home order a Chinese and watch a film. They are the friends I like they all have older children im the youngest of the group Im 28 and most of them are in their late 30s early 40s my partner is 44. We all get on great.

Dreading September, I no its going to be crazy and stressful but trying to put all that behind me and try and enjoy the summer holidays before she goes to school full time, till shes 18! Unless she drops out like I did, which wont be encouraged! I want her to be successful and have a good career unlike me. Stuck working behind the bar because I didn’t get any qualifications, and no one would employ me… I started to look at collage courses then I found out I was pregnant so give up on that idea. Now im doing nothing apart from being a bad house wife blogging how bad I am haha. Got to think if some ways to keep me entertained I suppose!! This should be fun. Day 2 complete!

Life-with-a-4yearold.

[life-with-a-4yearold]

my first post!

So I decided I would start blogging, but didn’t know where to start. Why I decided was because my life is hectic, chaotic, funny and down right stressful. I have a 4 year old child a 2.5 year old german shepherd and a partner we have a 3 bed ex council house and live in a lovely little village. All seems great ? well no… we may sound like your typical family but we have a lot of baggage our life isn’t perfect in fact far from perfect. We have our arguments we have days where we laugh non stop, there are days when all I want to do is cry and forget the world. Times are tough when you have a 4 year old who doesn’t want to listen and is so head strong that you feel like breaking down but yet shes the most caring child and loves us and her dog more then anything, like we love her. So I decided i would write about it to let people no they are not alone. I’ll tell you something, its not easy having children I only have one and find that hard. Starting from the beginning. Pregnancy was terrible, heartburn, sickness, aches and pains. I found out I just was pregnant November 2018. I had her on June 18th 2019. She starts school this year. What 4 years its been, we have moved 3 times. Our first dog died he got run over. We then got another dog his an arsehole we got him when my daughter was 1 and he was 9 weeks old. Now that was a mistake! Having a 9 week old puppy and 1 year old just walking. Now shes 4 and his nearly 3 they have both become best friends and wont leave each others side, typical german shepherd behaviour.

Days turn in to weeks in this house, I do anything for a simple life. Cant be arsed to put the washing away I wont, don’t feel like hoovering today I wont. I do everything and its ok to have a day off every now and then, we have a take away on a Saturday night so I don’t have to cook 7 times out of 10 we will have one then too. I HATE having to cook when I don’t want to. The theought of having to think of what to cook for dinner drives me crazy! And no one eats the same thing EVER roast dinner I im the only one who eats veg. my daughter will eat carrots peas and broccoli my partner don’t eat fuck all. Im fed up of doing different dinners, no what I think the dog actually eats more then what we do. No point in me even buying dog food he eats everything they leave which is pretty much the whole plate! End up doing cheesy pasta!! Fucking cheesy pasta.

Days out? Yeah all sound great until you get a screaming 4 year old because they want an ice cream which costs about £8? Since when did 99’s cost so much ? no wonder no one wants to go out anymore, we went to the zoo just to get in cost £109.98! for the FUCKING zoo!! As we was walking round you get them people that just decide to stop in the middle of the path and get in everyones fucking way and DON’T move. Finally get passed mumbling fucking idiots under your breath. Still while youre kids screaming because you’ve refused to pay £8 for a 99. Sweating because its 1000 degrees. Thinking what the fuck was I thinking. To make things worse walk past the gorillas and they are only having abit and now got to explain to a 4 year old that they are just playing, and that’s what they do. Had to buy the £8 ice cream to get her to move away from them. So not only are we sweating skint and now traumatized, we have a 4 year old that’s witnessed 2 gorllias going at it. Well that’s the only thing she did see as no other bastard animal was out!! Now were all hungry thirsty and fed up… find a nice little food shack got 2 burgers and a hot dog and shared some chips…. £36.00 sorry what ? for 2 burgers a hot dog and one portion of chips ? didn’t even get the drinks because my idiot partner forgot them!! Well glad he did would have had to taken out a second mortgage! Fucking livid at this point, in the end we walked round rest may have seen a zebra could have been a rhino, I was so hot and thirsty I don’t know what I was seeing. Gift shop on the way out why??? The DRAMA we had when we said she couldn’t have anything because it was to expensive. Dragging her out by her feet, while shes screaming she wants a monkey. LAST thing I wanted to see. FINALLY we gave in got her it and then finally got back to the car, shes strapped in and me and my partner look at each other with the look of defeat and just sigh. Drove home in silence the whole way. TRAUMATIZED by the experience. Bitch bag is in the bag seat flat out asleep clenching her new £18.00 toy that is about the size of a small banana. Excuse the pun. Ive never looked forward to getting home so much in my life. We ended up all having a bath put fresh pjs on I opened and drank 2 bottles of wine while crying lol. Ordered a kebab watched the rest of Paw patrol the movie and off we went to bed. Day over all to be done again in a couple weeks time.

To Be Continued….. one very tired and stressed mum.