lifeofacfsurvivor

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

It’s so weird talking to people who’s view of “here’s the way life is for everyone” is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you’ll say you’ll have a problem and instead of helping you they’ll argue with you about how you’re not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I���m really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn’t do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don’t have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you’re in, and different volunteer work you’ve done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don’t have things that I can use. Also, I’m in my mid 20s so I don’t know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you’re a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you’ve worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I’m not looking for suggests of things I’ve already done, I’m looking for what I can do now if I haven’t done anything.

Them: There’s no way you didn’t do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who’s also disabled and they’re like “Here’s a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don’t pay much but look good on a resume, here’s some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here’s how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here’s some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn’t tell them about unless you need accommodations.”

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but it’s normal and okay to be DISABLED by your DISABILITY.

Sometimes it is going to stop you from doing things, and that’s okay. Sometimes it’s going to get in your way or make you struggle or cause problems in your life. But that’s okay, that’s why it’s called a disability.

You don’t need to fight yourself or “not let it hold you back” because a lot of times it will, but that’s the point.

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

a thorough inventory of the public spaces in which you are allowed to stand but people will start to get upset if you sit down

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

It IS baby

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

can we talk about how it's really fucking ableist that working standing up for an entire shift is seen as like,, a mark of respectability or even employability in almost every fucking entry level job and a good amount of non-entry level jobs too?

sorry my fucking nervous system doesn't work properly,, idk what to tell u, i can't control whether my veins contract or my lungs breathe or my heart beats or my stomach digests in a functional way. can you??

similarly,, nobody can just, will away their arthritis or osteoporosis or muscular atrophy or paralysis or scoliosis or amputation or any other disability that makes standing damaging or difficult or impossible.

idk im frustrated. why is it a mark of "laziness" or "unprofessionalism" to simply,, sit down while doing a job that can be done sitting down. makes zero sense. completely arbitrary. just pure sadism. if someone knows the history of this practice leave it in comments or reblog cuz i sure would like to be able to wrap my head around it!

frankly, even if someone isn't disabled, i... reckon it isn't very healthy for one's bones and muscles and spine to be standing around without much movement all day.

(sorry if any of this is poorly worded, i stood up in hopes of getting some exercise and shopping done and wrote this while resting bc i got dizzy and groggy from the effects of standing up haha...)

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”

I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.

Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

Truth

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

if you can’t eat a whole meal, eat half. you ate, that’s what is important.

if you can’t get out of bed, try and sit up instead of lying down. it’ll be better for your back and your blood pressure.

if you can’t shower or have a bath today, try and brush your teeth and clean your ears. it’ll keep you a little cleaner, and we often forget those areas. 

if you can’t get dressed today, change underwear and use some deoderant. it’ll leave you a little fresher until you have the strength to change fully.

and remember, i’m very proud of you. your best will look different every day, and that’s okay.

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

Social Security includes the number for a suicide hotline on the envelope they use to tell me they have decided to deny my disability

There’s a depressing ass poem hiding in here, but im too tired to put it together.

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

"if you think that someone you know might be having fun due to their medical treatment, please contact law enforcement immediately. all medical treatment must be as unpleasant as possible to ensure that sick people maintain an appropriately ascetic lifestyle, as penance for choosing to be sick people"

I wrote this seven years ago about federally restricted medications and I was fucking right

[lifeofacfsurvivor]

"we'll get you in" and "someone can help you" do NOT mean the venue is accessible. if i call up in advance of an event and ask if i will be able to attend, i want to know if i can actually attend or if going there will be a disastrous waste of my time, money, and energy. if you have stairs just fucking say you have stairs, fucking hell, "uhhhh we can carry your wheelchair with you in it" is not an answer to whether there is step-free access