lifeofthemeek-blog

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Origins: the "Up" Side of the Journey (maybe)

Making the transition was difficult. There were times when I questioned my sanity... And I still do. What no one seems to share with you, (not like I had a slew of teachers though), is that your whole understanding of the peoples actions and the "why" they choose to do what they do slowly but surely transforms into sheer confusion. You realize that MOST people don't understand the consequences of their impulsive actions.

Why would you use plastic shopping bags when there's an overwhelming amount floating in our oceans and buried beneath our Earth? Why is a $1.49 bottled soda and 30 minutes of grocery transportation worth 1000 years to you?

EVERYDAY.

Why do we go looking for life on and seek to terraform other planets when we could just take care of the one we ALL live on? Why do human beings always need more?

More coal and fossil fuels for burning.

More clothing for impressing people we don't even know.

More buildings.

More airports.

More farmland.

More fish.

More pelts and ivory and diamonds.

More shiny gold.

More weapons of war.

(man that's a funny looking word)

Why?

Why is a question that never seems to get answered. And just when you think you've got it, you realize that the truth still eludes you.

That's not the reason I came to live this way, but it is the reason that I stay.

I was and still am seeking simple peace for myself in a world that never seems to be able to answer this simple question to my satisfaction.

I used to live in the city. Smack dab in the center of the USA. I worked 10-12 hour days during a time when most people were asleep. I indulged in the disposable food containers and bottles of sugar laden sodas day after day. I paid a ridiculous amount for rent and auto financing. And the truth is that it sucked. I hated my boring, repetitive, relatable life and all those who existed in it. I hated being outdoors and was scared of insects. I never imagined that I would be living in the woods and willingly returning to them everyday for years, or picking up handfuls of earth just to smell it, or growing food, or having mercy on a caterpillar that found it's way into my tomatoes and Letting. It. Go. Years ago I would have smashed it into a gooey indiscernible mess and found a sick satisfaction in the fact that it was I who bravely took it's life.

It's interesting what stepping further into the natural world will do for you.

That's all for now. I think I totally missed the mark on this post, but I forgive myself.

I guess it just needed to come out.

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

It's difficult to live in a college town. Because of the constant stream of cheap labor being supplied by college students, the work that you do is underrated, underappreciated, and underpaid. How can a functioning, intelligent adult make it off of $9 an hour? I can't wait 2 years for $11/hr!! I have goals to meet, money to save, bills to pay! It's frustrating. Hire some locals to work instead of having 90% of your staffed labor be college kids, then maybe your turnover won't be so high.

Duh.

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

utada hikaru being reduced to the songs she did for kingdom hearts makes me so sad because she's such an amazing artist and i think the rest of her music deserves a lot of recognition as well

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

I think I live on the wrong side of the country world Universe.

- Says Me

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YEEEESSSS!!!

Herbal Medicine is not witch craft. Herbal medicine is the study of botany and the use to benefit the body. Plants have been used as medicine and food since the beginning of time as they still are today. Many cultures have specialized plant medicines that are the furthest thing from those wanting to dabble in the occult. If you are serious about studying herbal medicine, seek out accredited schools or certified teachers (and books and web pages of same) and leave the other behind.

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[lifeofthemeek-blog]

True story

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Kinnikinnick, Aztec clay, elderberries... Are you my long lost soul twin?!

Medical room… I am in love. Swooooooon 

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

"namida no ato wo sungurasu de kakusu tabi ni

sukoshi-zutsu tsuyoku nareru tte shinjite'ta

sonna no okashii tte kidzukidashita

itsumo tsuyogari bakari ijihatte waratte'ru kedo

honto wa ne nakisou de okubyou na pretender"

涙のあとをサングラスで隠す度に

少しづつ強くなれるって信じてた

そんなのおかしいって気付き出した

いつも強がりばかり

意地張って笑ってるけど

ほんとはね

泣きそうで臆病な pretender

"I used to believe that I got a little bit stronger

Every time I hid the traces of my tears with sunglasses

I realize now how strange that is

I’m always smiling, stubbornly pretending I’m fine

I’m actually just a cowardly pretender on the verge of tears"

As old as this song is, it never fails to move me. If you do not know Japanese, you would be fooled into thinking this is a song to relax to. But it is filled with so much introspection from someone who was 17 at the time. This is one of many reasons why I love Utada Hikaru.

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

The nights are a mix of dread and comfort. I don't have a driveway that leads up to our home. You have to hike up stairs that were carved from the hillside by shovel, with stakes driven on either side and wooden boards attached to retain the dirt. When I made them, I didn't account for the long days I'd be working or the bags of groceries that would have to be carried up. In hindsight, they're too tall for me to climb comfortably without a handrail, but in my defense, they were really cool to a beginner.

The comfort comes from knowing that once you get in the house and get a fire going, you can slip off your shoes and layers into your pjs, snuggle up together under 0° sleeping bags and a mosaic patterned wool blanket, and watch a movie together.

[lifeofthemeek-blog]

Origins, the Sour-patch

I never imagined that my life would take me down this path. 

I have dreams.

I had ambition.

But I’ve taken one too many beatings in the name of love, family, and friendship, and now I feel defeated. I’m just done in my attempt to fit into the narrow social norms of the Americas.

Hold on... It’s not my intention to start this story off on a sour note. Truth be told, I’ve gained a tremendous amount of insight on myself in opposition to the rest of the world, and it has made me wiser and stronger. But for all explanatory purposes, I can sum it all up into a bad 5 year relationship.

It ended with me leaving, self esteem shot to pieces figuratively, body slightly battered by abuse, but mostly just ashamed of my stupidity for enduring the obviousness of its vanity from the start. Trying to save someone else from their emotionally tormented past only drowns you in your own sorrow when you realize how futile and naive your intentions were, however admirable they might appear to you.

So... onward to the present:

This is the “home” I live in now. Although it has improved much in its comfort level since 2017, it is a little more than a shack in the woods to the rest of America. I grow food here, I collect rainwater, and it’s quiet. Living this way has changed my life for the better in terms of spirituality, but the lifestyle limits my ability to connect with others in terms of what is truly important in life: food, water, shelter, sunlight, and the Spirit.

The Spirit is the most important. All else in finite. All else is an illusion. 

How do you escape from an illusion?