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Going somewhere new is so scary.

I've been in college for an enitre semester now (it's literally only been four month bro) and even though I went to boarding school for the past five years already, homesickness won't disappear completely.

But new people means new experiences and I think that after an entire year, the people I've met in college changed me for the better. I've met friends who are artsy and creatuve like me and friends who's smile always make my day, some who makes me laugh effortlessly and those who walked with me in my times of doubt.

I created an NGL on my Instagram, where you can send anonymous messages to the user.

It was only then did I know once more what it meant to be loved.

People who's been with me spoke of my cheer, the radiance I bring in classes and my infectious laughter. My friends who I only knew for four months telling me how grateful they are of having me in their life and how much they cherish the mere presence of me. There was even one who said that they only talked with me once and they can already tell how much of a wonderful person I am.

Loneliness is inevitable, even with people around you the sheer weight of being in your own mind can be distressing. But moving forward, I can't begin to fathom how much happiness I've made and experienced. Sometimes there will be days of blue, times where you question the purpose of you being here, yet the thoughts won't last forever. There will always be those who are expecting you, who look behind corners waving when they see your face and those who walk across the room to sit and eat lunch with you.

As I'm writing this right now, it's 2 am in Asia and tomorrow will be the first day of my second semester. Looking back into the rear view mirror, I know one thing for certain after going into this alien and unpredictable world of college.

I am grateful.

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PLS, JUST TWO MORE YEARS AND IM IN THE UK

There’s nothing in life quite like autumn. Misty mornings and rainy afternoons. The crisp cool feeling that hangs in the air. A sense of warmth that comes from within. It’s nothing less than magical, really.

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Dark academia this, talking philosophy that—y'know what i really yearn for?

To have a life where all my friends and i could drive into the night through the city lights, singing cheesy pop songs obnoxiously loud and live my youth unconditionally fun without a worry in the world.

Don't get me wrong, i still enjoy my life being someone arguably academically successful but hearing younger siblings have sleepovers and outings at the mall with their friends made me question if i'm missing anything that i've never known.

How would it feel like to fall in love and gush over a partner rather than shoving down past year papers down my throat? Or maybe even go to carnival and wasting my allowances for the rigged games with all my friends (God knows how long since i've been to one) than stressing over tests that would mean nothing from five years from now.

It's a bit melancholic really, dreaming a life i could never have when i know full well somebody else would gladly trade theirs wih mine.

The beauty of wanting is that you will always seek the thing you could never have.

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yall, i thought igcse was damn hard but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A LEVELS BRO 😭😭

my scholarship is performing arts and so im like, "cool, i actually get to study the arts" so i took eng lit, history, chem and bio (cuz im also secretly a stem girlie) BUT DAMN ARE ALL FOUR KICKING MY ASS

TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I HAVE IELTS CLASS AS WELL 🤸🤸

btw, if yall wanna be frens im cool 🙏 trust