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YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 16

We are that point where the year is passing by too fast! I have too many things to do and can’t finish them all in time! 😵‍💫💦

But I will roll on for the love that is rollcake 🍥❤️

yes, i know that’s a narutomaki shhhhh! 🤫

Right, we’re not at the legendary YunaAki rollcake scene yet. That’s next chapter.

But it’s fine~ Because it’s so obvious to anyone who knows Akiho that she fully intends to capture Kaito’s ハート❤️ with her cooking. So the process is just as important as the result!

All that precious blushing (kyaaaaah, the blushing~! 😆💕) is a crucial ingredient in the recipe.

He must TASTE the “I love you, Kaito-san! 😖💓” Yea? 😤

On another note, whenever Akiho’s face turns red like this (かあああー), she looks so warm ☺️

no wonder why Kaito is so drawn to her (kitties love warmth~) うふふ〜 🤭

Anyways, after baking, it’s decoration time.

And it’s no surprise Akiho chooses a clock as the central motif for her rollcake. Specifically, a pocketwatch. Kaito’s pocketwatch.

The pocketwatch is associated the most strongly with Kaito in the narrative and represents a number of things:

First, time (duh) and therefore, time magic which is used by Kaito more than anyone else.

Second, Kaito’s purpose. The very reason he took on this job as Akiho’s caretaker: to save her life.

All the magic performed through this pocketwatch is for the sake of averting her doomed fate. And it acts as the most important item in the exchange because without it, the artifact would not have been removed from within Akiho. It’s no wonder Kaito has it close to him at all times. Not just for freezing and rewinding time but also because he saw the pocketwatch as the key to Akiho’s salvation. The exchange card is the necessary spell but without something to perform an equivalent trade with the artifact, its magic would be useless. In the above panel (left), Akiho says “it seems to be very important to him” and that 👆 is why. The pocketwatch is what saved Akiho’s soul AND what later saves Kaito as well.

Third, Yuna D. Kaito’s records. In other words, the proof of his existence.

The pocketwatch has been with Kaito ever since the beginning of his journey with Akiho. It was present through every event in his life since they met so as Kaito grew and experienced new things, the significance of those events engraved themselves into the pocketwatch.

But because the pocketwatch is a magical item and not a person, it was not affected by the rewrite. Because what was altered were memories.

Only people have memories because memories have personal emotions with them. The pocketwatch is not a person and therefore, cannot have emotions. By that logic, it cannot have memories either.

But it can still hold records of what has occurred in the past and that is essentially what enabled Kaito to return back to his original form.

Finally, the pocketwatch is Kaito’s heart.

The last thing he left for Akiho before he erased himself from her life were his feelings for her that took on a tangible shape.

Why am I interpreting it this way? Well, it lies in the kanji “懐中時計” (kaichūtokei).

“懐中” (kaichū) is a combination of “pocket” + “inside”

while “時計” (tokei) obviously means “watch”

But “懐中” (kaichū) is the keyword here. “懐” (kai) can also translate to “feelings, heart, to yearn, missing someone, becoming attached to someone”.

When put together with “中”/“inside”, I read that as an alternative translation: “inner feelings” or “inside (my) heart”.

The pocketwatch is often stored inside the breastpocket of Kaito’s suit jacket, which would be the physically closest to his heart. And in his heart, there is his determination to save Akiho. His fervent wish for her to have a happy, normal life.

Even though he probably never intended for her to remember him after everyone’s memories were rewritten, the exchange card was going to leave behind some proof that something was switched.

And that something ended up being the whole reason behind Kaito’s grand scheme. The evidence that it did happen, the one thing that could not be erased.

His love for Akiho.

The pocketwatch symbolizes Kaito.

From a reader’s POV, it represents his character and what motivated him to go as far as he did.

From Akiho’s POV, its image reminds her of the person she loves most.

When she places it on top of her rollcake, she is thinking of him.

When she offers the rollcake to him, she’s conveying her message that she was thinking of him while she was cooking.

I love you so I made this for you. I made it with you in mind and this clock (representing you) on top is proof. This is the shape of my feelings for you and only you. It is meant for you and no one else.

…so in a way, Akiho’s cake is similar to Kaito’s pocketwatch.

They were already going full circle, even at this early stage at chapter 16 🥹❤️

On to a lighter topic, I do believe this is the first time Momo is discussed in this analysis series. As she should be cuz she is the biggest supporter of YunaAki, after all. Hmph! 😤

The lead in to the reveal that Momo is a really magical guardian is predictable but cute, nevertheless.

For one, it’s understandable for Akiho to be a little clumsy as all young teenagers are at her age (hell, people will always be clumsy even when they’re adults so don’t feel bad, Akiho~ ❤️)

Akiho laments that because she accidentally tore Momo’s muffler, she had to leave the bunny at home for Kaito to fix.

And, well, there’s no doubt of Kaito’s ability to repair the muffler, that’s for sure. But as always, Akiho can’t help but feel bad that she caused an inconvenience for both her beloved doll and her beloved person.

Thankfully, this seems to stem from just being normally upset over an accident rather than her low self-esteem.

Meanwhile, back at home…lol

I can’t help but imagine how that morning went before Akiho left for school.

Poor girl spiraling into panic like, “oh no! Momo, I’m so sorry! what do I do?! oh no, oh no, oh no! Kaito-saaaaan!! 😰😫💦”

(…ok, maybe not that dramatic but something close 😅)

Then Kaito swoops in all suave and capable and to the rescue: “Don’t worry, I can repair it in no time, please leave it to me 😊”

Akiho is like “Really? 🥺”

And then he’d say “Yea, just put her over there 😊👉🛋️” like she was some sock with a hole that needed to be sewn closed. But in a way more polite and professional tone, of course.

Except Momo wouldn’t miss that poke at her and would’ve given him a small hell over it after Akiho was out of earshot before napping the rest of her rage off while Kaito just sits there and 🪡😊🎶

hahaha 😂

Anyways, she has been ALIVE this entire time!

Ever the ✨elegant✨ creature that nobody would’ve guessed she is, Momo sighs about Akiho’s “incurable clumsiness”.

But it doesn’t sound derogatory at all.

In fact, the word she uses for clumsiness, “おっちょこちょい” (ochokochoi/“scatterbrain/hasty”), has a much lighter connotation than “不器用” (bukiyou/“incompetent/unskillful”) which is the term that Akiho often uses to harshly describe herself.

Momo clearly isn’t being critical here. She’s just expressing her slightly exasperated fondness over the girl who adores her so much.

Then of course, Kaito has to follow up on that by adding “But that’s one of her major cute points~ ☺️” cuz he has been No. 1 Akiho fan since day 1 so no comment made about his favorite girl can ever end on a negative note. Not even jokingly 😂

And Momo wholeheartedly agrees (“well, naturally 😌”) because Akiho is her favorite girl, too.

Look at her expression as she sparkles ✨

That’s the face of one proud mama.

🐇: Why, yes. Whoever said otherwise? My clumsy bunny is the CUTEST in the world. She is my darling. My love and joy, the most precious baby ever ☺️❤️ So say it with me, Yuna D. Kaito. Am I not RIGHT on ALL those counts? *points 🔫 to his head* 😠 🕰️: You’re so violent 😅

😂 Yea…they both really treasure Akiho so much and surely bonded over their affection for her throughout the years the three of them have been traveling together.

Which is no surprise why Momo becomes increasingly distressed as the story progresses on.

Like Kaito’s pocketwatch, she has been with him since the beginning as well.

However, unlike the pocketwatch, she is sentient and therefore, has emotions. She may not be human but she can feel like any other person does. Which means she is capable of empathy and her heart bleeds the most for her two charges.

Throughout the entire story, Momo is the only one who is aware of Kaito’s true self. She understands his motive, his urgent desire to save Akiho (because that is her wish too) so she never berates him for targeting Sakura’s magic to fulfill that goal. Their methods are limited and they don’t have much time till the artifact reaches completion. If they want to protect Akiho, they cannot afford to be nice guys.

What Momo does protest, though, is Kaito sacrificing himself. She hated it whenever he abused rewind magic, leaving him more weakened after every undoing of time. And she was heartbroken when Kaito finally achieved his objective of switching the artifact before erasing Akiho’s memories of him. Because she had been with Akiho the longest, was Akiho’s confidant the longest, so she understood better than anyone how much it would hurt Akiho to lose the person she loved most.

Kaito didn’t see the ending he envisioned as a tragedy but Momo did.

She wanted desperately for Kaito to realize Akiho’s love for him before it was too late. It was the only thing that would’ve stopped him because for Kaito, nothing is more important than Akiho’s happiness and Akiho’s greatest happiness ultimately lies with him.

But we’ll delve more into that in future chapters.

At this stage in The Plan, they are still emotionally aligned. Both are calm with no regrets about their approach to save Akiho (though I’m sure Momo is just hiding her apprehension towards the rewrite part for now).

But once the conflict on their side starts…it’ll become harder to watch 😔

🐇: Son! I disapprove of this! Stop your nonsense at once! 😠 🕰️ (in his rebellious phase): Nah, mum, I gotta (for love ❤️) 😊 🐇: Youuu…IMBECIIIIIIILLLEEEE!!!!!! (ʘ言ʘ 💢)

<- Previous: Chapter 14

Next: Chapter 17 ->

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A minor difference in ep 20 from canon, Kaito actually princess carries Akiho to the sofa before putting her to sleep.

And I think it's so sweet and funny at the same time because it's clearly just an extra bit of YunaAki fanservice above the shoulder support in this panel:

But in anime!Kaito's head, he's so extra.

He’s likely thinking "no, this seat is not suitable for Akiho-san to sleep on. I must relocate her to a spot that's more comfortable with a proper headrest" and proceeds to do that à la kdrama male lead 🤣

Like, he won't even let her feet touch the ground.

"She's a lady [my lady] and therefore, I must escort her."

Such special treatment 🤭

But the most important part of this scene is still this line.

“側にいます”/"I'll stay by your side" (until I can't anymore)

Soft eyes, gentle voice...he really gave her his everything.

...bet Akiho gave him hell for that after she got her memories back, mhhmmm~

Akiho: You said you'd stay with me (“そばに”言った) 🥺 Kaito: I'm sorry 🥺 *explains all 100 reasons why he had to do what he did* Akiho: You said you'd stay! (“そばに”言って！) 😫 Kaito: I'm really sorry! I will! I will from now on! 😰 Akiho: 😭 <- so happy ❤️ Kaito: 😰💦 (Where is Momo when you need her? 😓)

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YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 14

We’re almost halfway done with the year already...

…why does he have such a disarming smile? 🥺

no wonder why Akiho can’t stop staring at him, he's too pretty~ 😑

Short scene, short ramble (hopefully nah, not happening, hahaha).

Kaito arrives to pick Akiho up right when she wakes up from her nap.

…look at his face. He totally knew what transpired earlier and was probably waiting around the corner for the girls to finish their friendship moment before coming to ring the doorbell.

Aww, how thoughtful of him ☺️

At the same time, I can imagine him being “Okie, you had your fun. Now return my Alice to me, I’m not ready to give her to you yet” hahahaha 😂 … 😭

(always loved this coat on him, btw, makes him look sharp 😍)

For Akiho, it shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary for Kaito to escort her home. He is the one who's responsible for her, after all. Not to mention, it’s already dark out and she’s just a 12/13-year old girl so it’d be more concerning if there wasn’t someone to accompany her at this hour (especially when she’s being targeted by those magicians).

But girlie’s polite to a fault like that. I mean yea, this is a Japanese setting and written by a Japanese person (and therefore, the keigo is always present). But it’s still very within the boundaries of Akiho’s character to not want to inconvenience others.

Likewise with Kaito. If it’s for someone he cares about, he wouldn’t want them to think he’s being burdened either. Hence the “お気になさらず” (“Please don't worry about it”)

This exchange sounds very formal but the tone is actually quite casual. This is their routine, what Akiho and Kaito can expect from each other and they’re comfortable with it. It’s another testament to how long their relationship is.

You can even think of it in this alternate wording:

“Sorry you had to come pick me up” -> “You came to pick me up, thank you (for caring about me) 😊” “Please do not worry, it’s no trouble at all” -> “Of course I would come pick you up (you’re important to me) ☺️”

Deep down, that’s what Akiho and Kaito are really saying and I’m sure they’re both aware of that as well 🥰

(well, Kaito to a lesser degree cuz he’s got all that inner angst that’s making him emotionally constipated :P)

Now for these panels.

I want to draw attention to Kaito’s eyes.

Particularly how much softer they are compared to his usual smile, which is pleasant but often closed off.

In fact, let’s take a panel from chapter 11 to see the difference:

The expression on the left is what one would give when dealing with a customer. You want the client to feel at ease when engaging with them but you also don’t want them going beyond the door that has the “staff-only” sign stamped over it.

This is his professional smile. His “it’s my job” smile.

His eyes are guarded against anyone attempting to look in. His posture is perfectly straight, giving away no weaknesses . And though there is a slight upturn of his lips, it betrays nothing. Whether the feeling behind that smile is genuine or not, his foremost thought is to fulfill his duty. That’s all.

As for the Kaito on the right, doesn’t he look more open?

He’s still showing the utmost courtesy to someone who’s a little bit more than a stranger but not close enough to be an acquaintance. However, his body language is noticeably more relaxed.

His head is tilted to the side and adorably so (it seems this is a habit of his as well). His smile is friendlier and his eyes appear fuller and gentler.

Why is that? besides evolving art style

Well, there are a number of ways that can explain for it but I think most of them boil down to the influence of the people around him in this scene along with how his personality had developed up to this point.

Before Akiho, Kaito never smiled. He only learned to do so before he went to meet her for the first time because he didn’t want to frighten her with the dour face he always wore.

His approach to greeting Akiho back then is not unlike how he introduced himself to her friends today (if just slightly warmer and more interested cuz Akiho holds more importance to him).

He had the genuine intention to take good care of her. It was just heavily masked by the job description he gave about himself.

But over the course of the next several years, a more personal side of him would slowly come to the surface. So even when he remained professional, it would be obvious to anyone who observed them closely enough that all his efforts were catered solely to Akiho's needs.

That's the effect she has on him.

He wanted Akiho to be happy so he did his best to treat her well. Treating her well taught her how to smile which enabled her to show her gratitude. And whenever he received her appreciation, it strengthened his feelings towards her.

Those feelings gradually transformed from a sense of obligation into a deeper affection. The more and more she grew attached to him (to love him), the more he wished to reciprocate by trying to do even better for her.

Which is quite similar to how the moon reflects light from the sun. The stronger the light (the happier Akiho is), the brighter the moon (aka Kaito) shines.

Quite an apt description since Kaito's magic aligns with the moon but the greatest aspect to take away from this is that Akiho is the reason for Kaito's positive change just like he is hers.

Without her, he would never have been motivated to try anything or even be bothered to care. Without her, he never would've learned what true kindness is like.

She is his warmth. She is his sun.

It's her light that brings out the goodness in him.

And this interaction with Sakura can be an example of that.

Kaito addresses her by her surname with the very respectable suffix "-sama" but she asserts that there's no need to be that formal with her and requests to be called by her given name instead.

He's hesitant at first because he doesn't want to be rude but since Sakura insists, he acquiesces with the smile shown above.

Honestly, I don't think this is Kaito just going along with the flow to minimize awkwardness. There's something else that can be extracted here besides him acting nice for Akiho's sake.

For one thing, whether he calls Sakura by her first or last name is irrelevant to him. What he's after is the magic she generates that will help him exchange the artifact and power the spell of the taboo book. He personally does not need to get close to her whatsoever.

But he gladly agrees to call her "Sakura-san" and I believe that's him responding to Sakura's goodwill with his own, hence why his smile appears a lot more real than his signature butler one.

Because he learned what kindness is like from Akiho, he's able to recognize it in other people who show it as well. And he picked that up with Sakura not wanting there to be so much distance between them.

Maybe it touched his heart that there was another person besides Akiho who sincerely wanted to treat him as an equal (and not a thing beneath them like how the Association used him as a lowly tool).

Maybe beneath his smile, he starts to feel a tiny regret that he'll have to manipulate this girl's powers later for on his own goals.

Maybe Sakura's offer to get along melted his guard a little so that for a brief moment, he wanted to reciprocate before he had to resume his position as the antagonist in this story in order to save Akiho.

Or maybe it's a combination of all those things.

Whatever it may be, it's clear that it costs him nothing to call her "Sakura-san" and he was happy to do it, which pleased her.

This short scene is so notable because it’s where the conflict of the story doesn’t affect what’s happening in the moment at all. It’s just a normal interaction between two people, something Kaito has been lacking for the majority of his life. The decency of someone respecting him as another human being.

Furthermore, this is also similar to how Akiho complimented the beef stew. By praising and enjoying her friend's cooking, she's acknowledging the kindness that has been shown to her.

For Kaito, by agreeing to call Sakura by her given name, he is also acknowledging the kindness being shown to him.

"You are a good person, I can tell. You are kind just like Akiho-san is and it’s unfortunate that I have to be your enemy. But at the very least, let me return your sentiment by calling you by your name which you have so graciously allowed me to do. Because that is the only thing I can give back to you.”

…yea.

I’d like to believe he felt that way during this scene. Despite his denials and refusals to accept love because he doesn’t believe he deserves it, Kaito really is a lonely person behind that smiling mask of his. And just like any lonely person, he’d yearn for a connection with another because that’s a very human thing to do.

The fact that he could face Sakura sincerely (even for only a short moment) instead of running away thinking it’s not worth the hassle, that’s all thanks to Akiho, too.

Because of his love for Akiho, Kaito became more human.

Moving along to a lighter topic.

Now that Akiho has a friend to confide in on her secret plan to surprise Kaito, it’s very exciting, yepyepyep! 😄

And heartwarming as well. Look how she’s blushing. She’s so eager to tell him her feelings through her homemade cooking. You can tell she really, really loves him 🥰

Meanwhile, Kaito is totally clueless about what these two girls are scheming 😂 but this also proves two things:

He does not eavesdrop on Akiho’s private converations. Even if he does have the ability to listen in with magic, he chooses not to. Further supported by how they’re only a few feet away from him and he still doesn’t know what they’re whispering about which is indicated by all the question marks surrounding his head.

He probably doesn’t have the ability to read minds either. Because if he did and used it to peek into Akiho’s mind, he would’ve realized early on what a huge mistake he would be making by erasing himself from her memories.

I mean, I doubt he’d budge on the issue of the artifact. Akiho’s life will always be at risk as long as that thing is stored inside her so he’d still be hellbent on transferring it into himself before it activated.

But if Kaito had been made more aware of the extent of Akiho’s feelings at this point in the story, there’s a chance he wouldn’t have gone down the route he originally planned. He would’ve changed it, scrapped the part where he disappeared, to avoid deeply hurting Akiho.

It would’ve taken a lot to convince him that she loved him but just the thought of making her cry over the loss of him would’ve made him reconsider the ending he decided on.

Alas, that didn’t happen. He didn’t know and that’s why he couldn’t stop from himself going as far as he did 😢

I’m sorry, I said it was going to be light but it still wound up being sad 😭

Anyways, the day ends and they walk home together.

Kaito inquires about the girl Akiho has recently bonded with because of course he does.

Akiho is happy and he wishes to learn more about the reason.

To ascertain that choosing Sakura’s home is the right choice for him to make.

Akiho unknowingly confirms that for him.

There is no end to all the good things she can say about Sakura. How caring she is, how kind she is to everyone around her.

Kaito then puts forth the question, the most important question:

“To you as well, Akiho-san?”

Because in the end, that is what matters to him more than anything else.

Forget how nice she is to everyone. Forget how perfect she is. None of that matters if she can’t fulfill what he needs her to do for Akiho.

Whoever he chooses, they absolutely must be good to Akiho. Always.

They must be willing do whatever it takes to protect her, keep her safe and make her happy.

These things are non-negotiable.

Otherwise, they would not be worthy of Akiho and he would forfeit the idea of entrusting his most beloved person to them.

But Akiho again unknowingly tells him what he wants to hear. She affirms that yes, her friend is a person capable of living up to all of Kaito’s hopes and expectations.

Kaito smiles and replies “…that is wonderful.”

However, though his words seem to carry a sense of relief, everything else about him in these panels suggests he’s going through some other emotion.

There was a significant pause before he told Akiho he was glad for her.

The smile he’s wearing isn’t his personal one. It’s not warm and soft and amicable like the smile we saw him give earlier but one of practiced charm and formality. He’s donned on his work mask again, hiding what he really feels.

He’s less successful in other areas, such as his eyes which are too expressive for him to completely control. They are not filled with joy to match how thrilled Akiho is. Rather, there’s a quiet acceptance in his gaze over the conclusion he has reached.

There is satisfaction but there is also loneliness. He realizes this is it. This is the beginning of the end of his days together with Akiho.

He has found the right person to replace him. The one who he can trust to look after Akiho after he is gone. Once the exchange is done, she won’t need him anymore and he won’t be part of her world anymore either.

How can that be anything other than utterly sad?

Akiho is his life. She’s the one who brought any meaning to it, the one who made living worthwhile.

And yet to Kaito, all that is secondary to preserving her life. The loss of him would be a small price to pay as long as Akiho’s safety was guaranteed and she could live to see her future, free from the grasp of the magic world for good.

Kaito was willing to step aside to make way for all the potential happiness that he envisioned Akiho could have.

For her, he was prepared to give up everything.

And what a fool he was. A well-meaning fool but a fool all the same.

Watching them walk home together like this, it’s clear that Akiho has never been happier with how her life is now. She never wished for more or anything different. She already had everything here, given to her by the person who was always by her side.

…right, I’m gonna end it here since I don’t have the energy to talk anymore. I fuckin’ cried again

Until the next chapter, またね〜 👋

<- Previous: Chapter 13

Next: Chapter 16 ->

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YunaAki ~ S1 Ep 16 ~

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YunaAki ~ S1 Ep 15 ~

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(🩵)😊☺️(💜)

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✨🕒🕝🕑✨

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✨🕰️✨

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🕰️🐇🌾

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Bonus (the moment Akiho realizes Kaito's uncharacteristic slip-up):

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"As always, you sing so beautifully." "You are a wonderful person, Akiho-san."

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(💜) ☺️　😮 (🩵)

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The rollcake scene from ep 17 aired today, May 6th.

The anime follows the manga pretty closely with some nice little additions. Like this exchange:

Where we actually get to see Kaito accept the gift with his own hands.

Before that, look at his expression. How even when he’s caught by surprise, his eyes are always so soft and unguarded when they’re looking at Akiho.

And that gentleness carries over into how he handles her gift as well.

He’s likely thinking ‘Akiho-san made this (for me), I must be careful with it’ on top of how he’s already being careful to not even let his fingers touch hers. Because he respects her and that would be unprofessional. That would cross the line he knows not to cross <- this is a crucial point to keep in mind.

Then the way Akiho goes from nervous to overjoyed once he takes the box because this is the first thing she’s ever made for anyone.

And not just anyone but a special someone. Her special someone.

So of course, she’d be anxious over whether he would accept it. Of course, she’d be so thrilled when he did.

They didn’t even start eating yet but she’s already so happy that she was able to take one step closer in conveying her feelings to him and that he didn’t reject her.

Then the part where the scene diverges for a moment from canon. Unlike in the manga, where Akiho quickly runs away out of shyness, here she doesn’t have an excuse to hide behind.

Instead, she starts criticizing herself again. Apologizing for “saying something weird” when she did nothing of the sort.

As pointed out in the previous episode (and in chapter 60), it’s obvious that Kaito doesn’t like it when Akiho puts herself down.

Even though she really stunned him speechless this time with her request for him to laugh more, he’s already thinking of what to say to refute these negative thoughts about herself.

But unlike how he usually tries to reassure her (gently and subtly), this time he’s significantly more forward with his approach.

He puts a halt to her downward spiral by placing his hand over hers, crossing the line he has been so careful not to all this time.

He outright says to her there’s no need for her to apologize, that she didn’t do anything wrong.

And for the first time, he dares to be honest with his feelings for her, crossing that line again.

It’s just one line. But with that one line, Kaito lays himself bare before Akiho. He’s not playing the part of her servant, polite and considerate but always at an arm’s length.

He’s being himself for once, his true personal self.

And his true self wants Akiho to know how happy she’s made him.

Just with her simple gesture and her words to see him smile more, he knows how much she appreciates him. How much she cares about him.

Which is the biggest deal for Kaito because nobody has ever cared about him before. He had always been treated as a thing to be ordered around and used by others.

So to hear something so kind from the person he loves most…it makes him want to respond to that.

It seems anime!Kaito wants to reciprocate in what little way he will allow himself to (he’s staring so deeply and intently into her eyes, letting them say what he can’t) before the inevitable where he would have to separate himself from Akiho in order to save her.

There’s not enough time left for him to enjoy being with her, to show her how grateful he is for her presence in his life. He knows there are only a few chances to do that and this moment is one of them. It has to be now because if not now, then it’s never.

Even though he puts her to sleep shortly after to bar her off from inquiring further. Even though he thinks she will won’t remember him after he rewrites everyone’s memories and erases himself so telling her these feelings might’ve been pointless…he still wanted to let Akiho know at least once before she forgets.

That she made him feel loved and taught him how to love someone in return.

And that’s the greatest gift anyone can receive.

[lightaflametoburnmethrough]

April 29th marks the anniversary of this YunaAki scene in episode 16.

The moment doesn't last more than 2 minutes before Kaito's uncharacteristic slip-up causes him to rewind time but it's enough to show how much he cares about Akiho's well-being and how highly he thinks of her.

He goes out of his way to meet her as she's walking home. Even though the neighborhood seems relatively safe and it's still light out, he's concerned for her safety. Understandable since at this point, the magical artifact hasn’t been removed yet so her clan and the Association are still targeting Akiho. She has no powers of her own and therefore, no means to protect herself so Kaito can't possibly leave her alone and vulnerable to being kidnapped.

But Kaito is always careful not to alarm Akiho so he greets her with a distraction. Yet even that distraction is heartwarming because it's a compliment of Akiho's voice. It would've been sufficient to say he was worried or use that same old line "I'm just doing my job (to take care of you)” but instead, he chooses to tell her how beautiful her singing is.

The fact that Akiho wasn't even singing but humming and he could hear her "quite clearly" says a lot about how much he admires her.

However, due to the harsh criticisms she often received during her early childhood, Akiho can't even begin to accept an honest compliment without feeling uneasy about it. Her instant reaction is to want to deny it, like she feels she doesn't deserve such kind words or any form of approval.

It's so sad that the abuse inflicted upon her has conditioned her into always having a low opinion of herself ("I'm clumsy", "I can't do anything", "I'm useless") and it must hurt Kaito a lot to see the person he cares about most think that way when none of it is true. Which is why he is often reassuring her that she has many great qualities, hoping she would one day see herself the way he does.

At the same time, he knows that Akiho is particularly sensitive to any comments regarding herself so he doesn't push it and steers the conversation to a topic she's more comfortable with: her new friends.

Akiho brightens immediately at the mention of them and the troubled expression on her face disappears. Kaito was able to cheer her up but again, it's sad to see how difficult it is for Akiho to accept value in herself as opposed to how readily she praises other people for theirs.

But it goes on to show that if anything, Kaito is ever the determined type (haha, oh yea)

Their conversation leads back to another sensitive subject for Akiho: her clan.

The clan that always thought poorly of Akiho for having no magic. The clan that jumped at the opportunity to turn her into a object that they could use to store all their greed in.

Even though it's their fault that Akiho's self-esteem is so low, she still directs that blame towards herself.

"if I wasn't so shy, if I was more capable, if I could just do better"

It's heartbreaking. For both of them.

Because Akiho is further chipping her confidence away, little by little, and it must be all Kaito can do to hold back his anger at those magicians for causing her to turn out like this.

But even if he were to berate them or curse them, it wouldn't make Akiho feel any better. It'd just make her sadder than she is now over her circumstances.

It would be counterproductive to his goal of wanting her to be happy.

And for her to be truly happy, she needs to be free of them.

The only way to do that is to lessen the hold the clan has over Akiho, to replace that negative influence with something stronger for her to believe in.

Every time she's about to put herself down, Kaito gently counters her with encouragement and support.

"(That's not true) You're a wonderful person, Akiho-san"

"Akiho-san will surely be able to achieve it (I believe in you)"

"You're better than they can ever hope to be (and I love you for that)"

And by the way Akiho smiles even just a tiny bit at his words, you know it's working. It's been working since the moment they met all those years ago. Gradually and carefully, he helped her repair and build up her self-esteem to the point where she can now make friends with no problem.

It won’t ever be perfect because her trauma runs too deep for those scars to be erased completely… but Akiho has come so far from the little girl who would run away whenever someone approached her because she was afraid of being criticized, of getting hurt. And that's all thanks to Kaito being there for her when nobody else cared.

Akiho would not be the person she is now if it weren't for Kaito refusing to give up on her. He defied everything that would deny her the happiness he repeatedly said she deserved. Including, occasionally, Akiho herself.

If someone put in that much effort for you, to fight so hard for your sake even on a level where you're just simply exchanging words with one another on the way home...what is that if not love?

[lightaflametoburnmethrough]

YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 13

Back with another post~ (lookie~! Momo in her widdle pouch~! 😆💕)

This is the chapter where the first house visit takes place so there’s more Akiho-content than anything and will be shorter since I only extracted the relevant parts.

…but who knows if it’ll really be that short with me at the helm 😂

Anyways, let’s get started.

First mention of Kaito is the box of sweets Akiho brought with her as a gift for the host. The gesture is a thoughtful one (actually, it’s customary in Asian cultures) and doubles as a way for him to secretly gauge what the Kinomoto household is like.

He needed to see if this family is suitable for him to entrust Akiho to after he completes his plan to save.

A shady method to do things, yes. However, given the dire situation Akiho was in and how desperate Kaito was to get her away from the magicians chasing after the artifact, how else was he going to determine this home would be safe enough for his most important person to stay in?

He’s not going to get that confirmation through her interactions with her classmates at school, that’s for sure. So he has to infiltrate that house somehow to take a good look for himself (make sure none of them are hiding skeletons behind closed doors, all that jazz).

And it’s quite smart of him to chose a box to do it. Not the sweets but the box they come in. Probably.

Because the sweets will be consumed over time so it wouldn’t be very useful to spy through those. But the box would likely be left somewhere accessible (ex. kitchen counter) until the sweets are finished. Not only does this give Kaito enough time to observe everyone, he can also observe from a location where all the family members cross paths every single day.

It isn’t necessary for him to dive too deeply into their privacy. He just needed to get an idea of what the home and its residents are like. And you can learn a lot about a household by how its members treat each other in a shared space like the dining room.

If they constantly fight or argue, it would show in plain view. But if not and they are decent, normal people, then that would show in plain view, too.

So yea, Kaito was pretty much checking for the right vibes but he also must be absolutely thorough with it since it concerns Akiho, after all. If this family didn’t pass with “A”s across the board, he would never give Akiho to them.

Akiho had to go to the best home he could find after all the horrible suffering she had to endure under her clan. For her, he refuses to settle for anything less (omg, Kaito… 😭❤️).

Skip skip skip.

Kaito is mentioned again when the topic of konnyaku is brought up.

Now I’m curious about when they discovered that he liked konnyaku...probably at the same Akiho decided that she hated it 😂

But seriously, this is a big deal because when he was little, Kaito had no preference for anything at all. And when it came to food in particular, he rarely cared about how it tasted and just ate whatever gave him sustenance. Which is a very telling sign that he had depression (🥺💔)

So the fact that there is something he actually likes now and someone can affirm that about him? It’s practically screaming character development. He went through such a significant change from “I don’t really care” to “ok, I don’t mind this” to “oh yea, I like this”.

And the cause of that could only be Akiho because prior to meeting her, Kaito never smiled either. He didn’t have any reason to.

Being with her changed all that. She became his reason to smile, to want to try new things if at least to see what she liked or didn’t like. And through that, he was able to discover what he genuinely liked as well.

She opened his world in ways that never would’ve happened if he stayed at the Association as their tool. She helped him grow as a person which in turn, allowed for Akiho to open up as well thanks to the kindness he always showed her.

And this is most prevalent in their love language which is food.

Take this for example.

Akiho has been served beef stew and says it’s delicious.

But then she follows that up with a comment on how it tastes slightly different from all the beef stew she had before when she was traveling overseas (yes, that’s exactly how that bottom panel translates).

She and Kaito traveled together from country to country before arriving in Japan.

Kaito also cooks the majority (if not all) of Akiho’s meals.

Which would mean that probably all the beef stew she ate up to this point were made by him. All the different kinds of beef stew from the different regions they lived in, Kaito went out of his way to find those recipes and cook them for her.

She remembers their taste and that’s how she can discern Kaito’s cooking from another person’s cooking.

The effort and love he poured into the food he gives her is associated with those flavors. The impression they left were strong enough to not only become her fondest memories but also the standard she references by when she’s interacting with other people.

So when she compliments Sakura’s cooking, it’s not just to praise her. It’s also tell her that she’s kind.

The taste may be different but the sentiment it carries is similar to the gentle thoughtfulness she always feels from Kaito.

“You are kind. You truly care for me just like he does.”

🥹❤️

(should also note that since Kaito, chef extraordinarie, cooks for her all the time, Akiho has developed quite a sophisticated palate. So her praising Sakura is a testament to Sakura’s good cooking skills too 😊👍)

Yes, he cares about her more than anyone else ever did.

So much that it wouldn’t surprise me if Akiho compared her terrible kinsmen to Kaito in her own private thoughts.

She’d never say it out loud because she’s too good of a person to really hate anyone. And because she still believes that she’s at fault for not meeting the ridiculous expectations that had been placed on her.

But there is no hiding the fact that her clan is the source of all her loneliness and low self-esteem. The right panel ↗️ proves it in how sad she looks when the conversation moves to the topic of what her home life is like.

“Everyone in my family is always busy…we leave it to others to take care of things for us.”

Her clan is her blood relation, they’re supposed to be people whom she can rely on as family.

But instead, they’re too “busy” to take that responsibility. Hell, they’re so busy with their magic affairs, they can’t even take care of themselves and have to hire other people to take care of them for them (how embarassing).

And since Akiho doesn’t have magic, she’s further neglected and shunned by her own relatives. They don’t want to pay attention to her. They don’t want to take care of her or raise her because they don’t see any worth in her.

So imagine how Akiho must’ve felt after she met Kaito and began traveling with him.

She was so used to her clan being so unfairly conditional with their approval that she probably couldn’t believe that there was someone out there who would not treat her the same way.

But Kaito was that person, the very first.

Granted, he introduced himself as someone who was assigned to serve her but it’s so obvious he went above and beyond the tasks of simply assisting his “master”.

He didn’t just cook her meals and kept her house clean. He also provided her with emotional support, encouraged her to chase her goals and dreams and never ever talked down to her about what she didn’t have or couldn’t do.

He respected her and that gave Akiho a clear idea on what genuine love must be like.

That’s why when she transferred to this school in Japan, she was so happy because the people here welcome her and offer their friendship without demanding anything from her in return. She can recognize that they truly accept her for who she is because she already learned that through Kaito.

However, the more the light of someone’s kindess shines on her, the more apparent the shadow of her past becomes.

It’s not that the shadow is getting bigger. It’s just that Akiho finally realized how cruel her clan is and always will be. Compared to how Kaito and her friends treat her with sympathy and warmth, her clan won’t even acknowledge her existence.

And that’s what divides blood kin from family.

Blood kin just means you’re biologically related to someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re close to them.

But family should be. Family doesn’t have to be blood-related but they must be good to you. They must be willing to know you, nurture you and want to protect you to qualify as a true family.

So when someone who doesn’t know Akiho very well yet says “oh wow, that’s so cool”, it’s natural that Akiho would shake her head and deny it. There’s nothing cool or great about people who are always cold to you, who refuse to teach you anything but still expect the impossible from you and criticize you even more when you can’t produce results.

But those who are willing to teach you, talk with you, spend time with you, cheer you on in your efforts to become your own individual and be proud of you and still love you regardless of whether you succeeded or failed, that’s what’s really wonderful. That’s what a real family, a real home, is.

Akiho’s clan will never be that for her…but they don’t matter anymore because she’s already found her home in Kaito.

And because he’s always been there for her, making up for all the important things she lacked in life, Akiho wants to show her gratitude.

She wants to return the sentiment to Kaito, to tell him she sees him as her family and to let him know she cares for him just as much as he has always cared for her.

So she takes the first brave step and asks for cooking lessons. That’s the fastest and most meaningful way to get her feelings across to the guy she loves.

With food!

Of course, Akiho always had the chance to ask Kaito to teach her and she probably did help him out in the kitchen on the occasion.

But since it’s technically his job to look after her and she was always busy reading books on the orders of her clan, there probably weren’t a lot of opportunities for her to do what she wanted to do.

What’s more, since she wants to surprise Kaito, she would have to ask someone else to help her.

And now that that chance has come, she can’t help her eagerness to get started.

Kaito is so dear to her, oh so very dear.

That’s why the cooking must be done by her hands because it’s her feelings that will pour into the food.

It’s her love that she wants to convey to her special person.

The person who grew to become everything (confidant, supporter, protector, friend, beloved, family) she will ever need in this world.

Akiho is so full of life now thanks to Kaito.

Before, she was so sad and lonely. Aside from her books and Momo who managed to fill a bit of that void, there was nothing that could make her smile.

But look at her in these panels, so different from the poor little girl who’d run away from people because she was afraid she’d be hurt again.

Her heart is filled to the brim with love. Her eyes are so excited, sparkling with hope. And when she smiles, her whole being radiates with happiness.

She has come so far from the past. She’s changed. She is who she is today because Kaito was always by her side.

And it’s the same for him. What he wanted most was to see Akiho happy. He changed himself for the very sake of achieving that.

There is no such thing as a love that doesn’t change because love is what inspires change.

Just like how Kaito caring so much about Akiho brought out the best qualities in himself (his kindness, compassion and devotion), Akiho is also becoming a stronger because of her love for Kaito.

<- Previous: Chapter 11

Next: Chapter 14 ->

[lightaflametoburnmethrough]

YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 11

✨🤍 HAPPY WHITE DAY 🤍✨

I’m actually glad I didn’t try to squeeze in this post for Kaito’s bday (since I was busy finishing his bday fic) cuz now I have something to post for today!

Started this analysis series on Valentine’s Day with Akiho and following it up on White Day with Kaito. It strangely fits cuz in Japan, mostly women buy chocolates on February 14th while White Day, March 14th, is the reciprocal holiday so men return the favor by buying gifts for the women they received chocolates from.

また縁か？ Hahaha, my good friend is always at work when I am 😂

So! Let’s get started on this chapter cuz it is longer than the previous one to accomodate Kaito’s long legs 🤣

lol, how Kaito makes his first appearance in the manga (and anime) will always be funny to me cuz he looks like he’s emerging out of the shadows from another realm when in reality, he’s been standing behind Akiho the entire time 😂

It’s also like he’s being introduced on stage. There is a focus in the center already but another spotlight turns on to bring your attention to a new presence to the left and gets brighter the more he comes into view.

His introduction really highlights that this is where the plot more or less officially starts.

Because the driving force of the story actually lies with Kaito since he’s the one with the goal. He’s the one who has plan on how to reach his objective and he’s about to engage with the MacGuffin that’s needed in order for his plan to succeed.

But before all those complications begin, he simply greets their guests in that unassuming, unfailingly polite and professional way he’s trained himself to be towards everything.

Most people won’t have the chance to encounter a real butler (again, funny cuz this is only a façade, his real job is something else entirely) so the closest experience to this would probably be interacting with a maître d’ at a high class restaurant.

“Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for coming today, I will do my best to make sure you have an enjoyable time.”

He really does try to give off those “I’m just a servant, please don’t mind me” vibes as much as possible and it might’ve worked…

If it weren’t for the fact that he and Akiho have a history together. Which, as shown in this panel, has been established from the get-go by Akiho herself.

“I’ve been troubling Kaito-san ever since I was little…”

“小さいころから” translates to “since I was little”. And seeing how far back that really goes in later chapters and how there have been no changes in personnel since they first met, yea, they have known each other for quite a long time now.

Meaning, Kaito can’t just be any servant. Nobody is called “just a (so-and-so)” when they’ve stuck together for that long.

He is Akiho’s personal attendant and should at least be acknowledged with that sort of significance in respect to the length of time he’s been with her.

But there’s another issue we have to address.

It’s Akiho’s wording.

Here, she uses very negative words to describe herself again.

“ご迷惑” = “to inconvenience”

Just like in chapter 9 where she uses “面倒みて” (“took the trouble to”), Akiho continues to see herself as the “burden” in their relationship.

Even though they both know Kaito’s been assigned with this task of looking after her so she isn’t a burden at all. Taking care of her is his job.

Yet she keeps putting herself down as if “it’d be a lot easier on him if I didn’t exist”.

Does she really believe that? No, of course not. She’s already come a long way (in many senses of the phrase) from the depressing environment she was raised in with Kaito’s help during all those years they’ve lived together.

However, bad habits die hard especially if they stem from horrible trauma.

It means Akiho has not completely overcome the pain her clan had afflicted on her. She’s still carrying those scars and they’re out in plain view. In the form of her own words and displays of lasting psychological effects rather than signs of physical abuse.

Kaito is very aware of this. Of course he is. He’s known Akiho for years and even before they met, he knew what her clan had put her through with their inhumane magical experiment and the insults they hurled at her within earshot.

So he made it his mission to not only save her life but to help her unlearn the mindset she got from their mistreatment.

He can’t undo the damage they caused but he can prove to her that they’re wrong, one step at a time.

And it starts with his words that gently contradicts Akiho’s.

For example, in this panel when he introduces himself, he says:

I take care of Akiho-san’s personal matters.

The key words here are “take care of” (お世話).

“お世話” is just what it means and just how it sounds.

It’s neutral. It’s stating the facts.

He takes care of Akiho. He cooks for her, he cleans the house she leaves in, maybe he even helps her fill out forms for school or whatever. That sort of stuff.

There’s nothing positive or negative about what he does but compared to how Akiho spoke about herself just a minute ago, it already tells us something about his character.

It shows that Kaito’s definitely not the same as the people who have no problem with hurting her because they view her as something less for not having magic.

And Kaito further proves he’s good, further proves he’s on Akiho’s side by what he does next.

He walks closer to her and leans down in order to quietly correct her statement:

You have never once caused me any trouble, Akiho-san.

This. This is the part where I knew I would never turn my eyes or my heart away from these two for anything else.

Because Kaito didn’t have to tell her this now, right in front of their guests.

He could’ve pulled Akiho aside or told this to her later and it would’ve had the same effect. He could’ve said this to her after the girls had left that day because that would keep the line in check between how he acts professionally (in front of strangers) vs how he acts more personally (in front of Akiho).

But no, Kaito decided that he has to tell Akiho immediately. So he does it in a way that blurs the line of professionalism for just a moment without alarming anyone.

He’s respectful first. He welcomes the girls warmly into their home because they’re Akiho’s friends so naturally, he would want them to have fun while visiting today.

Ok, he gave a proper greeting. Done!

Next, he goes to attend to Akiho.

Akiho is all smiles. In fact, she’s too busy being happy about having visitors over to really care or notice that she’s gone and needlessly criticized herself again.

And that’s exactly why Kaito has to correct her right away.

This became a bad habit because no one told her otherwise and will stay a bad habit if no one bothers to change it.

Akiho has always had low self-esteem. She’s gotten so used to being disdained by her kinsmen that she adopted their opinions as the truth to treat herself the same way. Even if she wanted to improve or change, she must’ve been afraid to do so because she was always expecting someone to call her “useless” no matter what she did.

So Kaito tried to pave the path for her and encouraged her to look at herself differently.

Whenever she says "I'm inconveniencing others", he'd reply "no, you're not a nuisance". Whenever she says she's clumsy, too shy or just not capable of doing anything, he'd respond "that's not true at all" and proceed to list all things she is good at, how much she's accomplished and how much more she will go on to achieve.

He's supportive of her and does his best to reinforce her belief in herself. What's more, he does all of this in a manner that isn't forceful but gentle. Because he understands (at least concerning her thoughts about herself) that a person's perspective can only change on their own terms, if they want themselves to.

To do that, they need a environment where they know they won't be judged. They need to feel safe first before coming out of their own shell.

And Kaito tries very hard to provide that for Akiho. He wants her to know that it's alright to be herself, to accept herself as nothing less than the wonderful person that she is and to know that she doesn't have to answer to anyone's expectations except her own. He wants her to leave the painful past that no longer matters behind so that she can finally heal from it. So that she will never talk down about herself ever again.

It's incredibly difficult to do, considering how deep her emotional wounds goes. And even more so while they're keeping within the boundaries that must be observed between them ("master and servant").

But the fact that Kaito has always been tirelessly reassuring Akiho and is still continuing to validate Akiho's worth as her own person whenever he sees the chance to…it really goes to show much he cares about her.

To the point where he would even break that line of professionalism just to put her heart at ease, to keep her from backtracking on all the progress she's made for herself so far.

Yea…this is what made it clear to me from Day 1.

That there was no way Kaito could be bad since he was willing to do whatever he could to protect Akiho from all her worst enemies: the evil magicians who wanted to use her and also, herself.

That was a bit heavy so let’s move back to the brighter side of the road.

By that I mean, Akiho’s adorable blushing face! キャー❣️❣️ 😆 💕

Oh, Kaito has really gone and shot that arrow 💘 straight through the little Queen’s heart without realizing it 😂 I mean, look at them! He’s already moving on to the next step of today’s itinerary while she needs a moment to remember how to breathe, lol

But it’s no surprise why that got her heart all ドキドキ-ing 💓 like mad.

After all, Kaito knows exactly what to say when Akiho needs to hear it the most.

Sure, a compliment about her looks or abilities might generate a similar response. But remember that Akiho doesn’t do well with direct praise. She automatically rejects it because she’s still suffering from low self-esteem so she can’t readily believe anything that good about herself yet.

But when someone (namely the guy she’s in love with) makes her insecurities vanish with just a few words of reassurance?

*snaps fingers* 🫰❣️

Yep! He’s the DA ONE alright. Who else knows what she’s been through and has done that for her? Who else could do that for her? Nobody but him.

Him!

He’s THE ONLY ONE~🎶 ONLY ONE~🎶 🎤😫💕

Moving along, we are now at Act 2 of YunaAki in this chapter.

Look at Akiho! She’s so cute! 😆 💕 This must make her so ecstatic cuz she never had friends over before.

But since it is the first time this has ever happened for her, she’s also got a case of nerves.

See those sweat drops above her head in the panel on the left? Yea, I’m surprised I never noticed them until now. IIRC in the anime, it wasn’t shown either so I guess there’s that distinction between the two mediums. Where the manga makes everything look cuter with more beady-eyed chibis, the anime just lets them look normal.

On the other hand, while the manga art manages to show it well enough despite being limited to only black and white, the anime does have an advantage in lighting because it can use more colors to illustrate the setting. And that’s important to this observation about YunaAki as well. But I’ll talk about it more when I review the anime episodes since it doesn’t really fit in well with this post.

Anyways, back to Akiho. She’s happy that her guests find her home pleasant (yay! they like it here! 😄) but is still a little nervous cuz ahhh, how do you respond to that?? What do you say in a situation like this? She’s not sure cuz once again, she's never had friends her age to hang out with before.

Fortunately, Kaito comes in with the tea cart, ready to serve refreshments and saving her from needing to say anything.

“Relief” isn’t the right word to use in the panel on the right but it seems his presence does help clear away the sweats above Akiho’s head.

So I like to believe that having him near helps calm her down. Or at the very least, it helps distract her from what makes her restless.

And I’d say Kaito does a very good job of distracting not just Akiho but anyone with an appreciation for skill.

Cuz look at how meticulously he prepares their tea! Warming the cups beforehand and timing the brew. He is an expert at it! 😊✨

He does everything with such care and precision even though he doesn’t have to. The job that was assigned to him by the magicians was to monitor the artifact, not entertain Akiho (and her friends).

But he does it anyway. Instead of just bringing in the tea and letting the girls handle the drinks by themselves, he goes the full yard to pour it for them hot and fresh from the pot. He serves them a proper afternoon tea, he shows them proper hospitality.

He even went as far as preparing cake to pair with the tea! 😃✨

And really, for something that looks as aesthetically pleasing as it is amazing to taste…

(bruh, even the resident ojousama was surprised that this didn’t come from a bakery)

You know Kaito must have spent a lot of time in the kitchen perfecting every aspect of it. Not just this cake but all those bento boxes he made and all the cooking he did for Akiho as well.

He wasn’t required to but he found a reason to. He did it so that it would make Akiho smile. He did it so it would please her friends which would then make Akiho smile.

Aww~ 🥹❤️

Then in this panel, their reactions to Sakura’s embarrassment are pretty much identical.

In the anime, only Kaito’s expression was shown but he didn’t look nearly as confused as he does here alongside Akiho.

Going by their expressions, it’s almost like they’re thinking the same thing:

“Eh? What was that?”

“Is she okay?”

“Are these the sounds they make in Japan?”

Yea? 😅

Maybe this wasn’t intentional but there is some truth to it that people’s mannerisms and behaviors rub off on each other the longer they’ve been in each other’s company.

So this would be another indication of the length of time Akiho and Kaito have been together as well. They have similar sights because they’ve already shared a lot of experiences while traveling together.

Moving along, when Kaito clarifies that he was the one who made the cake, Akiho starts nodding so proudly at him while her face is sporting a full-on blush.

Like she wants to say “Yep, that’s my Kaito-san, alright! He’s so cool and amazing, isn’t he? Mhm mhm mhm!” nodnodnodnodnod 🙂‍↕️😄💖

It’s so precious how she wants to show him off 🤭 but it leads into something a little sad about the next few panels.

As I mentioned before in the chapter 9 post, when it comes to other people, Akiho is so quick to applaud them for their talents and virtues. Meanwhile, she acts like she’s highly allergic if anyone tries to point out her good qualities.

She is very similar to Kaito in that regard, who is afraid to accept love because he doesn’t believe he deserves it.

Except he deflects differently than Akiho does. Akiho would shake her head and loudly refuse compliments with her whole body. On the other hand, Kaito’s more calm about it. Maneuvering his way around the gratitude and awe he receives before downplaying himself and hiding behind his duties.

Like here, when Akiho explains with so much happiness in her expression that Kaito always makes her sweets, cooks for her and prepares her bento boxes by his own hand. This impresses the girls because yes, who wouldn’t think it was awesome that Akiho is so well taken care of?

But he replies with a modest “いいえ” (“not at all”) and says this damn line…

It is my job, after all.

This line. This line is probably one of the many banes of my existence.

Not just because of how infuriating it sounds but, after years of watching and rereading this scene over and over, I realize there are actually layers to what Kaito meant when he said these words.

On a first impression, our reaction to this line would be like Akiho’s.

Disappointment.

Because her feelings for Kaito are so obvious and she so openly appreciates all the kindness he’s shown her only for him to answer back with “I’m just doing my job”.

Making us think there’s no deeper reason for it, that this is what he’s being paid to do, that he doesn’t have any special feelings for her.

Except that couldn’t be more wrong. Oh so very, very, very wrong.

Now that the story has concluded and we know the entire truth about why Kaito did what he did, the word “job” takes on a whole other meaning.

And in order to understand what that meaning is, you have to put yourself in Kaito’s shoes.

When you hear “job”, you think of his occupation, his employment.

But when he says “my job”, it’s his shield and his motive.

He uses his job as Akiho’s attendant to block out questions about himself. To keep anyone from digging further into him because what lies behind that perfect customer service smile is his guilt.

The guilt of saying the wrong thing (“like a blank book”) and unwittingly gave the idea to those magicians to implant the artifact in Akiho. The horror of realizing that an innocent little girl was going to lose her soul, her life, because she had no powers so those monsters determined she could only exist as a container for their greed.

Kaito couldn’t allow that happen so he took responsibility to get Akiho out of there. Away from them as far as possible. Not just across countries to a place where those magicians can’t reach her but to be rid of the influence they had over her as well.

That’s why he’s always, always, always telling her not to think so lowly of herself. Why he’s doing all these “extra” things to keep Akiho’s spirits up and make her smile. And saying my job this, my job so that she would never learn the truth that could potentially destroy her and let the artifact take over.

What everybody thought he meant by “my job” was “just taking care of things for Akiho”.

What Akiho’s clan and the Association thought he was going to do as his job was “make sure the artifact comes to completion for us”.

But what Kaito sees as his job, his most important task above everything else, is to make sure Akiho gets the quality of life she couldn’t get in that toxic world she was born into.

“It is my job (my responsibility to treat her well. To let her know that she should be treated well. To protect her and make sure she’s freed from her abusers once and for all. To ensure she will be safe from harm and live a long life and grow up healthy and normal. I want Akiho-san to receive all the happiness she deserves and I will do everything within my power, give everything I have, so that nothing stands in the way of that. Otherwise…how else am I going to make it up to her for all the suffering that I caused?”

…but you didn’t, Kaito.

He wasn't the one who did all those terrible things to her and yet he still gave so much so Akiho could truly have a life to live...

<— Previous: Chapter 9

Next: Chapter 13 —>