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Lift Up Your Eyes

Most school mornings start the same way. Both boys emerge from their rooms and make their way to the dark living room expectant of momentary cuddles with mom and dad before the hustle of breakfast and getting ready begins.

On this particularly dark early October morning Pascal opens the curtains of the living room window and exclaims, “Look at the stars, mom!” I chuckle but stay seated with Lewis buried in my lap. Persistent as always, Pascal exclaims again, “Seriously though, LOOK AT THE STARS! Have I EVER seen them this much in the morning before school? I don't remember seeing so many stars in the morning. There are so many! We GOTTA go out and look at them, come on!”.

Recognizing this moment as one of those times I should choose to heed to my child’s wonder instead of my natural tendency to march along my own scheduled routine for our morning, I got up from the chair, robe and all, and rushed out the front door with Michael and the boys. There we were, the four of us in our morning clothes in the middle of our front lawn, eyes to the sky as car lights passed by and Pascal in his most hype voice yells “Look at them! Can you even believe it! It’s amazing!”

It really was. The stars. That moment. The altogether heavy and light feeling of being so small amongst the universe but so dearly known and loved.

“Isn’t it amazing,” I said, “that God created every one of those stars and knows them each by name!”

Michael got out his astronomy app and identified the Orion constellation, his belt shining brightly right in front of our eyes. To the west he identified Mars and the east Venus. Pascal couldn’t even believe it, two planets in addition to all those early morning stars. What a gift.

A gift that could easily have been missed had we not looked out, looked up, and sat in the stillness in awe.

In Isaiah 40 the prophet is calling us to see God through God’s eyes, not our own. He reminds us that God is “In a category all his own, that we need Someone who is not like us. Only a holy, incomparable God can save us.” (Isaiah: God Save Sinners, by Ray Ortlund Jr)

“To whom then will you compare me,

that I should be like him? Says the Holy One.

Lift up your eyes on high and see:

Who created these?

He who brings out their host by number,

calling them all by name,

by the greatness of his might,

and because he is strong in power

not one is missing.” Isaiah 40:25-26

Ray Ortlund Jr. in his study of Isaiah “Isaiah: God Saves Sinners” says, “Do you think this God deserves your confidence? Do you think this God who manages the universe, right down to the faintest star, will lose track of you?”

So much of the pain and anxiety and fear we experience is a result of losing sight of just how big our God is.

As much as anyone, I get caught up in daily stress from relational strife, the expectations put on me that I strive and fail to live up to, discouragement from sins in me and my husband's heart’s that seem as if they will never stop springing up, and the current political and social climate berating me from every corner of the internet.

There are truly countless ways to be stuck in a cycle of anxiety, disappointment and fear. If we fail to look up from our own circumstances, we risk being stuck there for all our days, wondering how God could even bother to keep track of us.

The worship song “Bigger than I thought” by Sean Curran reads:

So I throw all my cares before You

My doubts and fears don't scare You

You're bigger than I thought You were

You're bigger than I thought

I stop all negotiations

With the God of all creation

You're bigger than I thought You were

You're bigger than I thought You were

So much bigger than I thought

You're bigger than I thought You were

I believe

But help my unbelief

You understand me

You understand me

Help me reach

The faith that's underneath

You understand me

You understand me

Yes, You understand me, God

I love this worship song because it echoes exactly what my heart is crying out to God on a daily basis. We are such finite creatures that we can’t fathom his greatness, we can’t even understand ourselves or fully grasp our internal struggles. I do believe that's the point. It’s only when we lift our eyes to his greatness and recognize our smallness that God can begin to bring us the peace and reassurance of his love that we long for.

God knew our tendency toward this thinking before he even created us. The God “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand and marked off the heavens with a span” (Isaiah 40:12), this mighty God “is inviting us to turn our perceptions around and see everything from his point of view. He understands that the struggle of faith is won or lost in the way we perceive reality. Yes, we are dwarfed by the creation; but the creation is dwarfed by God. See it that way. See him that way. When you feel threatened by world events and overwhelmed by your own problems, there’s another way to perceive it all. God is opening up to you a prophetic vision. And the Biblical gospel is his way of calling to us, “Behold your God!” (Isaiah 40:9)” (Ray Ordlund Jr “Isaiah: God Saves Sinners”

Lift up your eyes. He has the whole world in his hands.

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It’s worth the burned bread

I tucked you in and began our evening prayers as the timer reminded me the bread’s baking time had ended

So I ran out and opened the oven door.

Just a few minutes more and it would be perfect, I thought, as I walked back to your room.

I saw the blanket was over your head, a sign of a tender heart and a shelter from view.

Your brother asked to pray about papa Rex, and in that moment I knew the reason why the blanket covered you.

I asked what song you wanted to sing and through muffled cries you said “papas”

I clenched my chest and sang it out, and fought the tears stinging my eyes as you let yours flow freely in your tent of safety.

I sat and rubbed your back and recalled all the things you loved about him

And asked “are you sad because you’re starting to realize just how long it will be until you see him again?”

Because at 7, a lifetime means little more than next week, and next week might as well be forever. But the days and weeks and months of absence start to fit together in their mind as they feel the stretch of time and loss and they know that its not supposed to be this way.

We talked about broken shalom and God’s perfect design, and his promise to make all things new. That we aren’t together now but we will be someday because God always keeps his promises.

We talked about how our favorite parts of Papa was how fun he was, how he made us feel special, how he made everyone feel loved, and that we can honor him by being that way toward other people.

We talked about how we have this hope because of Jesus and so that should make us want to tell everyone about him.

“It’s ok to be sad, I’m sad too”

I walked out to the kitchen realizing those few minutes until perfection turned into a burned outside, a fair price for sweet gospel moments stretching into bedtime.

I made my way to the living room, walking past the three loads of clean laundry that were my night’s plans, and sat down with icecream and two books that recount all the promises that God has made to us about our eternity with him.

In the morning they may have to dig through a pile of clothes to find a shirt and pair of socks, but they will have a mother a little more prepared with the armor needed to fight the darkness in this world. A mother whose heart is firmly set on the promises God has given us so that she can help them make sense of all the hurt. In the words of Sam wise Gamgee “is everything sad going to come untrue?” That is our hope. Our living hope.

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As I look at these photos it’s easy for me to see them in a negative light.

Visual representations of my failings in housecleaning, mothering, and cooking. Annoyances toward a perfectly curated life.

>A raggedy slipper on a dusty shelf

>Toys and books cluttering the office floor

>A dirty stuffy in the middle of the hall

>Taped toy crafts leaking rice and random suckers

>Toys and partially eaten snacks left out

>A pot with badly burned food impossibly stuck

>A pile of books constantly on my side table

But today >>as a result of stewing all week in the book of James, of reading the book “Beholding and Becoming” by Ruth Chou Simons, of having that melancholy heart I have every 28 says, and coming off of a week of reminding my husband and myself every day that a dying car and not enough money to buy a newer nicer one does not make us failures, and OH, the Holy Spirit’s work in my prideful heart >>I had a different response.

As I walked around my house, I smiled at random messes and clutter and counted each one:

>>The most cherished and well loved slipper poking out between a mishmash of books making me laugh.

>>Piano books as a gift to my child and for my heart, and a buzz lightyear that was held by little brother as he snuck to hear big brother learn notes

>>One of the first stuffed animals I bought them, reminding me how God brought me from a reluctant to joyful mother.

>>A hilarious family portrait drawn on crafts volunteers lovingly helped the boys make while we could eat and fellowship with our church family, and suckers, enough “for each hand”, gifted by the smiling elderly woman bagging our groceries at a local store.

>>The proud creation of my little engineer, yo-yos gifted by their sweet, loving father, snacks that are in such endless supply that no thought is even given to wasting them after being left out for a night.

>>The remnants of a delicious new recipe I got to make and share, and the hilarity of my husband getting a hunk of wood from the garage to aid me in my many attempts at scrapping.

>>A book a friend chased after me with to gift because they already had one and she wanted to pass it along, and a sweet find at a local free library box just set up at a new park that happened to have been an antique book on my eldest boys wish list.

All around me, markings of grace, testaments to God’s goodness and provision and love.

I took notice. I took note. I told myself. I told my family. I’m telling you.

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:18‬

We can unconsciously trudge along existing and accomplishing in a state of ungrateful negativity. That’s our natural posture. It takes intention and gospel lensed glasses to count it all as grace.

I’m asking God to help me see as he sees, one day at a time. Ask with me. Count with me. And tell everyone where all the goodness comes from.

Soli Deo Gloria,

❤️ Sara

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The perfect gift

 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:26-30‬

Without thinking much about it I walked outside in my slippers, trudged through the yard dragging the hose, and began giving my vegetable garden a quick drink before the sun set. As I stood methodically waving the water back and forth I looked out over the field of grass that extended past the garden by another 120 feet, guarded by a towering silver maple tree that has seen at least double my life in summers. I hold my breath as I listen to the sound of frogs, buzzing insects, and birds in the distance. The sun is low in the sky and golden hour is gently receding into the tree line.  I’m brought back to attention by the sound of a car passing by. I finish my watering but pause one more time to survey the yard before I walk back to the house.

The following evening, my husband is sawing flooring in the garage while my children are running back and forth from the garage to the kitchen, torn between playing with a dog we are watching and playing with scrap pieces of wood. One minute they are perching on the right side of their father, peering over whatever he’s working on and asking endless questions, and the next they are tearing through the kitchen beckoning the dog to chase them, bursting into laughter when she does. “She’s a race car, mommy!”.

I leave the laundry I should be folding in the living room to check on the progress of the floor, and I pause in our breezeway, peering through the back door window that we recently replaced to increase the ease of view of the yard.

A doe stands about 100 feet away staring at me, ears perked to the clamor of noises coming from our home. She was curious, but content to continue her search for new, fresh leaves to munch.

I stood for a while peering out the window at her, observing her slow chewing and gentle walking as the frenzy of activity continued around me. A beautiful, peaceful moment, and not an uncommon one in our suburban natural oasis.

I think to myself, what a gift.

I could stop there. Stop at the thankfulness of the gift, but that would be selling short just how special the gift is.

The gift is special because of the giver.

Have you ever gotten a gift from someone and just been so blown away by how well they know you? A gift so specifically tailored to what you would want that you’re warmed even more by the giver’s knowledge and understanding of who you are?

I have, but nothing compares to the gifts my Heavenly Father has given me, because he knows me better than I know myself. He knit me together in my mothers womb and he calls me precious, honored and loved. He sees the depths of my sin that is now covered in Christ’s righteousness and he calls me his beloved daughter.

When I was a little girl, I frequently felt a little lost in the world. Lonely and longing, caged and restless. Misunderstood and unaware of how to process my emotions.

When I would get to go to my grandparents little cabin, I would stand on the porch and peer out onto the open field of grass that was met with the shore of a quaint country lake and I felt free, I felt the presence of God, and my worries were replaced with wonder.

I didn’t even have an inkling that someday I would wake up every day to a landscape mirroring some characteristics of that one.

The longing my heart didn’t have words for was met with the gift my Father had always wanted to give me.

I approached the neon yellow house almost 7 years ago and walked through the knotty pine breezeway and through the back door, and as soon as I laid eyes on that towering maple and continued my gaze past it to the rolling grass that melted into the wood line and spring fed creek, I knew this was a gift. A gift wrapped in awful yellow wood wrapping paper, and I needed to receive it and let God make it all beautiful in his time.

My husband and I have talked often about how not everyone would see this home and yard as a gift. To many it would just be a massive project, too small and disfuncional, the yard too wet all spring and too time consuming to maintain, the road in the front too busy and close. But to us, it’s the perfect gift. It’s perfect because the giver knows us perfectly. When we are frustrated that we can’t fix everything we want as fast as we want, or disheartened that we can’t have a new kitchen, or annoyed that we don’t have a basement, we remind ourselves that everything we have is a gift.

We invite people over to enjoy our yard and laugh with us at the turkeys clumsily flying down from the tree. We let children battle with lightsabers across the field and get their feet muddy. We watch with joy as our children catch toads and display them to us proudly, as they learn to work hard picking up sticks and raking leaves, as they awkwardly try to learn how to kick a soccer ball and swing a bat. We have a constant supply of marshmallows ready for roasting, and bug spray to share. We let the small spaces in our home be filled with laughter and prayer and the sharing of burdens. We count baby ducklings and baby turkeys, we laugh at fighting squirrels and hyper, leaping fawns, we pray the bunnies don’t get eaten by hawks, and as I’m typing this a fox just ran across the road and into our back yard as my kids race to the breezeway window to see where he went. We pause and we weep (ok, maybe just me) and we wonder at how God could have saved this little place for us, for this season of our life.

I just wanted to write it all down to remember, and maybe to remind you that

Life is a gift and the giver is good.

And may we never lose our wonder.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Sara

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Growth Takes Time

There was a pastor who had a couple of unbelieving children who bristled at every attempt their father made to minister to them. He would try to catch them in a free moment and talk about his sermon or minister to them with a certain scripture and eventually they were driven away. Instead of continuing to try to rush along their spiritual development, the pastor resolved to pray fervently, arms raised, every morning, for his unbelieving children. His son would come over for Sunday football and they would watch the game together and then go their separate ways. His daughter would read with him in the sitting room and not talk about much aside from the weather. But then God started to stir the daughter’s heart, and one day, as they were sitting in the same room reading, the Pastor felt the Holy Spirit urging him that this was the time to talk. His daughter started to share some things with him and he asked if he could share some scripture with her. She had ears to hear and welcomed it. He was rejoicing at the open door and at how the Lord clearly was working in her life. He had to lay down his urge to prod her along in order to see this blossom of belief form. He had to lay down his worry and his control and his time-line and he had to trust the God in whom salvation alone rests to do the work only he can do to draw a daughter or son to himself.

This story is from Pastor Bigney and it struck a deep cord in my heart. First of all, I want to be someone who prays like that. Secondly, if this incredibly gifted pastor has no power to save his children or to hurry along their growth, and if he even had more growing to do through this season, then why do I expect anything different in my life? God is the God of the long-game.

Have you ever heard the term “hurry up, and wait”? I feel like it has perfect application for those situations where you have a big event and everyone is scurrying around preparing and getting ready, only to realize they are hours ahead of the game so then they (im)patiently wait for the event to start, twiddling their thumbs.

Does hurrying make you relaxed? Does rushing around just make your soul feel perfectly at rest and at peace?

That’s a resounding “NO”.

The word “hurry” is an action, and frequently a command. Most often (except in the case of mothers toward children, ha) being hurried is an unverbalized assumption upon oneself or others.  Our minds frequently react with the impulse to hurry. “I’m going to be late, better hurry”... “I wish I could just hurry up and get over these feelings”....”These kids have been driving me nuts all day, my husband better hurry home and give me relief”....”I’ve been praying about this for weeks, God better hurry up and answer”....”I’ve been so hard working lately, my boss better hurry up and give me that raise.”

Writing that out and reading it makes it pretty clear that hurrying ourselves or others isn’t the most ideal place to be.

That’s not to say that there isn’t a time and place to kick it into high gear to get something done. That’s also not to say that we should swing the opposite way and be lazy, or luke-warm, or not ask for help when we need it, or not be expectant for God to work, or not hope for good things. The bible is clear about the pitfalls of laziness, complacency, autonomy, and poor stewardship. But, the bible is also clear that God is perfectly patient, loving, steadfast, slow to anger, and all-knowing, and that we are to rest in Him and trust his timing.

“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 1 Peter 3:8-9

Sometimes I need to remind myself that my perception of God’s slowness comes from me looking though my cloudy human-eye lense of time. We are created by a God who is outside of space and time. We are little children given an average of 72 years to get to know and be sanctified by Jesus, and this is not a “hurry up and wait” situation, it’s much more a “expectantly lay down your life and your will and watch as God slowly grows you as you walk in obedience” situation. How sad would it be if the most exciting part of our Christian life was the moment we gave our lives to Christ? That sentence might sound off-putting at first, but hear me out. God wants so much more for us than a momentary conversion. The initial salvation is the seed just beginning to grow, and while a seedling is still something to rejoice about, how much more do we sit in awe before a mighty redwood tree having been grown and sustained for decades? A redwood tree took years of beatings from the wind, years of drought, and years of rain, and thousands of hours of sunlight, to gain every inch of it’s growth. A redwood seedling + rain//sun//air + time= a majestic wonder to behold. Your life, my life, our children’s or friend’s or families lives, they need time too. That time is a gift from God. Doesn’t God, more than anyone, know how fickle our emotions are, how deeply the roots of sin go into our hearts, how callous we become from years of not processing our hurts, how stubborn we are, how prone to lying to others and ourselves. It takes time for the shocking grace of Jesus and the truth of our desperate need and His perfect provision to infiltrate our hearts and start to make changes. In Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud, he says that God uses the perfect balance of Grace + truth + time to equal change in our hearts. It seems to me that God isn’t in a hurry, and so we shouldn’t be either.

Growth takes time...God designed it that way for a reason. Quick fixes don’t last, and God is in the business of Eternity. What God lacks in speed (according to our limited perception), he gains in intentionality. When you’re tempted to hurry yourself or God along, be reminded that at that very moment he is “working all things for the good of those who love him”. Even and maybe especially in our waiting, God is working with the utmost precision. He is for you, and you can trust him. He gave you Jesus as the perfect intercessor; you get to talk to the God of the universe and cast your cares on him. What are you waiting for? Hurry up, and pray. :)

Psalm 103

[1] Bless the LORD, O my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

[2] Bless the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

[3] who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

[4] who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

[5] who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

[6] The LORD works righteousness

and justice for all who are oppressed.

[7] He made known his ways to Moses,

his acts to the people of Israel.

[8] The LORD is merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

[9] He will not always chide,

nor will he keep his anger forever.

[10] He does not deal with us according to our sins,

nor repay us according to our iniquities.

[11] For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

[12] as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

[13] As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

[14] For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust.

[15] As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

[16] for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

[17] But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,

and his righteousness to children's children,

[18] to those who keep his covenant

and remember to do his commandments.

[19] The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,

and his kingdom rules over all.

[20] Bless the LORD, O you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his word,

obeying the voice of his word!

[21] Bless the LORD, all his hosts,

his ministers, who do his will!

[22] Bless the LORD, all his works,

in all places of his dominion.

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

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Walking in the Light

Why is it so hard to tell the truth?

Last night I sent my two boys to brush their teeth. In front of the sink there is a stool that functions as both a boost for height and a constant sources of contention between the kids. About 5 seconds into their task I look up to see Lewis on the floor and hear him squeal in anger and Pascal standing proudly on the stool about to wash his hands.

Me: “Pascal, how did lewis end up on the ground? Did you push him?”

Pascal: “No mom! He put himself there! I’m just trying to wash my hands!”

Due to the circumstances and the look on Pascal’s face, I knew he wasn’t telling the entire truth. In that moment I knew I had a mission. It wasn’t a justice mission, it was a rescue mission. This conversation and the one that followed about shame was about taking my responsibility as a mother to be God’s ambassador on a rescue mission to save my child from himself and point him to his rescuer, Jesus.  

After a few back and forths of questioning, a wide eyed Pascal admitted to pushing his brother.

Pascal and I had a long talk about how pushing his brother was a problem, but the bigger problem in that moment was lying about it. About 20 minutes later after finally wrangling them to bed, I gave Pascal the chance to pray about anything he needed to ask forgiveness for. He prayed and asked God to forgive him for pushing his brother but excluded anything about lying. I opened up the conversation: “Pascal, why didn’t you ask for forgiveness for lying when that is what we talked so much about a few minutes ago?”

Pascal: “...I just didn’t want to say it, I didn’t want to admit it”

Me: ”Were you ashamed?”

Pascal: “Yes…...I was ashamed that I did it”

Me: “Pascal you never need to be ashamed, you’re already forgiven, and you never stopped being loved even when you were lying.”

After they went to bed I didn’t stop thinking about it. The Holy Spirit was leading me to think more about the concept of shame on display in my child’s reaction to his sin, and he was leading me to dwell on His truth about it.

Sin + Lying + Shame= Slavery

And enslaved is exactly where Satan, the prince of darkness, wants children of light to be.

It’s not enough to just teach our children right from wrong. It’s not enough to teach them how to be good and not sin. It’s not enough because THEY WILL SIN. They will sin now. They will sin later. They will sin forever, until they are in glory with Jesus.

We need to teach them what to do with their sin.

We need to teach them where to run.

We need to teach them how to run there.

We need to teach them how quickly they need to go.

We need to teach them that the only thing worse than sinning is pretending they don’t.

Most importantly, we need to teach this to ourselves first.

Our hope will never be found in a lie.

“So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor for the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf.” Hebrews 6:17-20a

God cannot lie. It is opposite of his character. So, why do we ever think we will find freedom in hiding? We think that BECAUSE of believing lies from satan, the great deceiver himself.

Our only hope is walking in the light, being honest with ourselves and others with where we are at because Jesus has already torn the curtain in half and atoned for the sin we continue to do (Heb 9:26-28). IT. IS. FINISHED. Our job now is the RUN to Him, WALK in obedience, WORSHIP Him and REST in Him. None of that is accomplished by hiding our sin.

Shame is a liar.

How did we get here?

The shame cycle is original to the first sin in Genesis. Sin automatically lead to shame and hiding, but the first thing God did to deal with the sin was to call them out of that hiding (well, the first thing after already having a plan in place to save them :) )

This sin to shame cycle has continued for all of time, gaining more traction than ever in this very interconnected and social media driven world. Now, people can hide right out in the open by spinning a version of themselves for everyone to see and believe on their computer screens, and people can use those same computers to publicly shame others and douse their lives with public mockery, slander, and even truth meant to humiliate. Shame is a very real and present tool used by satan. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” 1 Peter 5:8-9

You’re not alone, but that prowling devil wants you to think you are.

SHAME VS CONVICTION

Shame accuses, it gives no hope, it says we aren’t enough and never will be, it causes us to see ourselves as deficient and it absolutely fuels the fear that if we are known then we will not be loved. Shame keeps us stuck.

Conviction reminds us that we are not enough but the Jesus is more than enough. Conviction causes us to see our lack and points us to Christ’s provision. Conviction reminds us that we need to rest in Jesus’ guiltlessness and abide in Him. Conviction drives us to repentance in the light knowing we are fully loved and fully known. Conviction gives us freedom.

“What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves to righteousness.” Romans 6: 15-18

Sin keeps us enslaved by keeping us in shame. When you lie, you are a slave to the lie. When you are stuck in addiction, you are a slave to the addiction. When you are engulfed in lust, you are a slave to lust. When you are dependent on other people’s approval, you are a slave to their approval.

When you walk in truth---even in truth about your struggle with sin----you are not a slave to the sin but are a slave to righteousness. The Holy Spirit will compel you to righteousness because he cannot compel you to lies and shame---it is utterly against his nature. When the Holy Spirit compels you to righteousness he is reminding you of the identity you ALREADY have, not holding it over your head as an impossible goal.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

This is the VERY BEST NEWS we could ever get.

This is the news that we need. That our kids need. That our parents need. That lonely or apathetic or angry or addicted people need. That people pleasing or know it all, or manipulative, or depressed people need. That content, distracted, thrill seeking, or laid back quietly judgmental people need.

The power of Christ lives in us when we believe in him as our savior and we no longer have to live out of the weakness of our own flesh! THE GOSPEL IS FOR ALL PEOPLE!

I see desperation everywhere, starting with my own heart. Desperation for answers, belonging, rest, provision, relief, love, being known, and success among so much more.

My heart is heavy because we all fall into the trap of thinking we have to pretend we are people we are not and we walk around with either ignorance towards the gospel, or gospel amnesia.  

So many of us walk around and live out of a place of shame and defeat instead of grace and victory. Some people have never received the Holy Spirit through redemption and new life and are therefore blind to the freedom in Christ offered to them. Others are believers but function on a daily basis out of the shame they were freed from because they were taught only that their sin was bad and that they shouldn’t do it, nothing more….and they realize they can’t stop sinning.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

Instead of freedom and abundant life, we chain ourselves to posting a polished version of ourselves online, afraid to show any unclean corners of our homes or our hearts. We chain ourselves to telling our friends that we are ok and only sending funny memes to each other instead of saying I’M NOT OK, and allowing the holy spirit to work through them to inform our feelings with truth and help us find victory. Instead of freedom, we think we have to parent our kids perfectly and never humbly admit to them that we need forgiveness even as we feel crushed under the weight of our continual failure to control our tongue. Instead of freedom, we keep buying more things and pretending we are fine instead of admitting to even one person that we need help getting ourselves out of the financial crater we have dug ourselves into.

Abundant life is what is offered to us in Christ. Not just “not sinning” but walking in freedom in the light, as you are, compelled to obedience, and ever more being transformed from one degree of glory to another while ADMITTING that he is not finished with you yet. You will never have abundant life if you are stuck thinking you have to hide and pretend to be someone you are not. Freedom is ONLY found in admitting where we fall short and applying the grace of Jesus to that deficit and saying PAID. IN FULL. This freedom is meant to lead us change, to worship, and to a life filled with peace even amidst chaos.

Shame isn’t the only lie Satan tricks us into believing, there are for sure many others that leave us thinking we really don’t need Jesus and we really do have it all together (PRIDE), but shame is just another version of pride in self deprecating clothes. Shame makes us doubt the sufficiency of Jesus to cover all of our sin. You’re not sinful enough to outrun Jesus’ blood, not you, not anyone.

Jesus can rescue anyone, and he can give them abundant life. The catch is that we have to be aware of our sin and admit it, and my prayer is that the Holy Spirit is compelling us all to that end right now.

I’ve heard too many stories of God’s redemptive and transforming power on display after secret sins were brought into the light to not be a herald for the truth. Jesus desperately wants his children to walk in the light as he is in the light. May we each find safe people who point us to Jesus and champion the Holy Spirit’s work on our hearts. May we be able to wake up each morning and look in the mirror without shame and claim the purity that is already ours in Jesus. May we walk and talk as dearly loved children of the king who do not have to earn their position, but who can live out of the abundance and provision they already have.

Shame is a thief. Don’t let him into your home anymore, paint the gospel on the doorposts as a warning: JESUS PAID IT ALL. I AM A CHILD OF GOD. FULLY LOVED. FULLY KNOWN.

So, what do we do with our sin? Ask the Lord to reveal it, and confess it.

Where do we run? To Jesus, and safe brothers and sisters in Christ he has put in our life to point us to Him

How do we run there? Through prayer, and honest conversation.

How quickly do we need to go? As fast as possible. Satan wants nothing more than for you to delay.

Stop pretending, and start walking in the light. There is so much goodness for you waiting there.

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:5-7