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[Someone hitting on Sloane at a bar]
Guy: What's your body count, beautiful?
Sloane: That depends.
Guy: On what?
Sloane: Whether you're asking how many guys I've 'taken home' or 'taken out'
Guy: *Walks away*
Xavier: ....I want her in a way that's concerning to my life expectancy.
#ana huang#kings of sin series#books#bookaddict#tumblr funny#source: tumblr#sloane kensington#xavier castillo#king of sloth
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Isa, leaning on the counter: Hey handsome, come here often?
Kai: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for 2 years now or do I play along?
Isa: Play along.
Kai: Alright. I'm not interested, I'm married.
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Ayana: How do you feel about children?
Vuk: They're okay I guess. I mean if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Jordan: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Vuk: I just said I wouldn't.
#ana huang#kings of sin series#dante russo#vivian lau#kai young#isabella valencia#dominic davenport#alessandra davenport#xavier castillo#sloane kensington#vuk markovic#ayana kidane#books#bookaddict#tumblr funny
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Xavier: I wasn't that drunk last night!
Kai: You were flirting with Sloane last night.
Xavier: So? She's my wife.
Dante: You asked her if she was single.
Dominic: And then cried when she said she wasn't.
Xavier:
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Malachi: When I was your age-
Base: When you were my age, you f*cked your sister. Take a step back.
Malachi:
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[Jason teaching Kade and Lu maths]
Jason: If you have 12 doughnuts and a friend took 6, what would you have?
Luciella: A friend!!!
Kade: 12 doughnuts and a dead friend.
Jason:
Jason: You'd have 6 doughnuts...
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Malachi: Why are you standing on the table?
Olivia: I'm a grown woman and I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much.
Malachi: Where's the spider?
Olivia, quietly: It's under the table.
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Molly: Well, I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Malachi: You know, I'm not really a bracelet person.
Molly: You don't have to wear it.
Malachi: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off!
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Tobias: Aria, are you hurt?
Aria: It's nothing, don't worry.
Tobias: I'm going to hurt whoever dared to hurt you.
Aria: Really Tobias? I just stubbed my toe against the table.
Tobias: wHiCh TABLE?
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Stacey: Hey Base, Lu and I were thinking that the three of us could-
Base: I'm in.
Stacey: - go get snacks for the movie later.
Base: I'm out.
Stacey: Why? What were you thinking?
Kade, grabbing a knife: Yeah Base, what were you thinking?
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Base: *Breathes*
Malachi: This is a hate crime.
Jamieson: How is it a hate crime?
Malachi: Because I hate him.
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Luciella: I'm tired of all the toxicity between you men. Let's all say something we like about each other.
Base, trying to annoy Kade: Fine, I like your mum.
Luciella, holding Kade back from hitting him: Can we please leave my mum out of this conversation.
Stacey: He's right, it's inappropriate.
Kade: Thank you, Freckles.
Stacey: Let's talk about how fine he's father is.
Everyone:
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[Stacey showering]
Stacey, singing: What is love? Babyyyy don't hurt me-
Kade, pulling the curtain: I would never hurt you!
Stacey, screaming: KADE!
Kade, showing fists: I would never let anyone hurt you!
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[Group Chat]
Stacey: Hey, if you post your password on the group chat, it'll automatically be blocked.
Stacey: *********
Stacey: See?
Kade: **********
Kade: That's so cool.
Base: Baseciella4eva69
Base: YOU LIAR!
[Luciella has left the chat]
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Base: What are your adjectives?
Kade: You mean my pronouns?
Base: NO I ALREADY KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS, WHAT ARE YOUR ADJECTIVES?
Kade: Uh, I don't know. What are yours?
Base: NOISY AND CHAOTIC.
Kade: I've never had something go from making zero sense to complete sense so fast.
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[Malachi giving Issac advice]
Malachi: If you love someone, you have to let them go.
Malachi: If they come back, they're yours.
Issac: *Nodding*
Malachi: If they don't, then you stalk them.
Issac: *Taking notes*
Olivia, spraying Malachi with a water bottle: BAD!
#leigh rivers#malachi vize#olivia vize#little stranger#little liar#books#bookaddict#tumblr funny#dark romance#source: tumblr
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Luciella: Has anyone seen my dad? I haven't seen him all day.
Stacey: Nope.
Kade: Nope, but I bet I could find him.
Kade, yelling: DOES ANYONE WANT TO GO SEE ARIA WITH ME?
Tobias: Yes.
Base, nearly falls over in panic: When did you get here?
Tobias: Just now, I was summoned.
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