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petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

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having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

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me in the. me in. the. uhm.

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Honestly I don’t want Geralt to appear in the Witcher 4. I want Ciri to get a package halfway through with a letter like

“hey kid, hope your doing well. The sun is still shining in Toussaint so Dandelion bought me a sunhat on his last visit. Yen hates it. We’re testing a new fermentation procedure so I send you a bottle of wine. If it doesn’t taste good you can just throw it at a wyvern. Also the duchess invited us to another banquet :((. Anyway have fun on the path, kiss some women, your mom and I love you bye”

And that’s it. Let the old man have his retirement please!

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my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

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my mom didn’t believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like “oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people’s stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it’s fun to pretend saint nicholas or ‘santa claus’ brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!”

so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially “so mac, are you being good for santa claus?” and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly “he’s dead.”

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not normie enough to fit in but not fringe enough to lean into being a freak, worst of both worlds, pure liminality, just the weird coworker, and unrelatable classmate. and your mutual

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i fucking love tumblr on new years i scroll past a glittertext gif wishing me a happy 2002 i scroll past my mutual wishing me a happy 2018 i scroll past a gifset wishing me a happy 2013 i scroll p

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i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

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call me easily amused but i still think it's so funny to go "who said that" after saying something wildly horny

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I've waited years to draw this

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Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

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my earnest hope for 2025 is that everyone embraces being a little weirder and freakier and less judgmental bc we will all be better off for it like to charge reblog to cast

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