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Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter Five

Tyler, Josh, and I work out the logistics of me joining them on tour for about an hour: I’d start out playing one or two songs with them onstage so I could get comfortable, and gradually work up to more. Plus, the rehearsal process to figure out exactly what I’d be doing would take a while, and Tyler said he didn’t want to overwhelm me. We have a week until the first show, so I’ll be spending most of my time practicing Shy Away and The Outside on my own, then rehearsing the movements with the boys.

Once we have everything figured out, I pull out my phone to call Rhea to pick me up. Before I can press the call button, I notice a text message she sent me about thirty minutes ago. Hey, someone called out of work last minute, so I have to go in. Should only be gone for a couple hours, but I figured you’d be busy with your boy ;) I roll my eyes, then a sudden wave of panic hits me. If she can’t pick me up now, that means I have to stay at Tyler’s until she gets off. And that wouldn’t be a problem for me, but the last thing I want is to be an inconvenience. Josh would probably be heading back to his place with Jim, and I don’t want to infringe on Tyler and Jenna’s time together in their own house.

I text Rhea that I’ll figure something out, then take a deep breath. When I put my phone away and bring myself back to the moment, Tyler has busied himself putting the instruments and cables back where they belong. But Josh is zeroed in on me.

“Everything okay?” He asks once he has my full attention. I contemplate pretending everything is fine and just walking to the nearest coffee shop to wait for Rhea, but once again, the way Josh is looking at me all but forces me to be honest.

“Yeah, Rhea just had to go into work, so I have no way of getting home.” I explain.

“I can drive you.” He doesn’t hesitate to offer me a ride back. But I know that my best friend’s apartment is thirty minutes from here, probably much further from where Josh lives, and the thought of him driving so far out of his way riddles me with guilt.

“That’s okay. Her apartment is pretty far from here, so I don’t want to make you take me all the way over there and back.” I rake my hands through my hair and look at the ground. Josh doesn’t respond for a moment, and when I meet his gaze again, he’s looking at me with soft eyes. He steps closer to me, then says,

“You’re not an inconvenience, Dani.” It’s like he can read my mind. It scares me, but it also makes me want to grow closer to him. It’s a dangerous feeling. I can tell he wants me to voice my anxieties out loud so he can understand, so I do.

“You won’t be able to convince me you’re not just being nice. The whole ride back, I’ll be thinking about how much gas I’m making you use up, how much time you have to take out of your day just to drive me home. I’ll just think you’re secretly annoyed with me no matter what you say.” I admit quietly. I only half-notice that Tyler has gone upstairs to give us privacy while I voice my worst fears out loud to Josh.

“How about this— I can take you back to my place, which is only a few minutes from here, and you can wait for Rhea there. If you’re worried about getting in Tyler and Jenna’s personal space, just come with me. I would be hanging out by myself anyways, so I consider it more important to get to know you since we’ll be together all the time the next couple months.”

“I like that idea.” We smile at each other in understanding, then head upstairs, say goodbye to Tyler and Jenna, load Jim into the car, and head to Josh’s place. Once we pull up in front of his house, he heads inside with Jim while I call Rhea to update her. She answers on the second ring.

“Hey Dani, sorry again I can’t pick you up. Did you get one of the boys to take you back? I left the spare key under the mat for you.” She sounds out of breath, presumably because she’s been rushing around her very understaffed restaurant.

“Don’t worry about it. Actually, I’m hanging out at Josh’s place for a bit. Would you be able to pick me up from here when you get off? I’ll text you the address.” I can almost see her raising her eyebrows suggestively through the phone as she says,

“Hanging out with him alone, huh? Don’t get yourself into too much trouble you sly dog.”

“Oh, shut up.” But I laugh despite myself.

“And yes, I’ll pick you up. See you in a bit!” Rhea hangs up, and I take a deep breath before following Josh inside his house. Seeing his place, the way he decorates, a physical manifestation of him, is much more intense than seeing Tyler’s house. Probably due to this weird instant connection we have.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink? Eat?” He asks.

“I’m okay for now. Thanks.” I walk over to his couch and sit down next to the indent that is clearly Jim’s spot. Sure enough, the dog bounds over to me and hops up, placing his head on my lap.

“He likes you.” Josh says with a smile. I scratch behind Jim’s ears, and he wags his tail, thumping it against the couch. Josh fixes himself a glass of water and joins me on the couch. Once again, we’re sitting much closer than necessary, our thighs pressing together. But I don’t mind one bit. Feeling his skin against mine is grounding.

“So, I have an idea. I have this game called We’re Not Really Strangers. It helps you get to know someone; it has three levels to it: perception, connection, and reflection. Each card has a question on it. We’ll take turns drawing cards from each level and asking them to each other. Do you want to play?” I’d heard of the game before, but I’d never played it. I nod, and he leaves the room for a moment to get it. He comes back with a small red box in hand.

“You can go first.” He sits back down next to me and puts his arm behind me on the back of the couch. I lean back against it absentmindedly, and my stomach flutters at the contact. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he ever so slightly moved his hand to brush against my shoulder. I pick out a card from the perception level and read it out.

“Close your eyes. What color are my eyes?” Josh does as I instruct and confidently says,

“Green. It’s the first thing I noticed about you. They’re such an intense color I almost got lost in them.” I knew that he would immediately have the answer, but it still shocks me that he’s already spotted little details about me. He picks a card from the same category.

“What about me would people least expect?” He asks.

“That you’re shy. You push out this aura of extroverted-ness onstage and in interviews, but I can tell you get anxious around crowds and being in the spotlight scares you sometimes. That’s why you know how to comfort people when they’re anxious or overthinking, because you do it yourself.” He bites his lip as I talk, another thing I’ve seen him do in interviews while he’s intently listening to someone.

“Well shit. You have me down to a T.” He says chuckling.

“Like calls to like.” I say, looking deep into his eyes. For a moment, we just look at each other. These moments of silence we have together say more than our words ever could. It’s a sense of understanding, a way of saying I see you. Jim jumps off the couch and goes to grab one of his toys, and we break eye contact.

“Alright, let’s get deeper.” I say, pulling a card from the second level, connection. “When was the last time you felt truly understood by someone?” Josh thinks for a moment before answering.

“The first person in my life who truly knew me was Tyler. The day we met it was like we’d known each other all our lives. We connected musically, but also on a much deeper level that I’d never felt before. We talked for hours that day. I never felt like I had to hide myself around him. It was refreshing, especially when I’d spent my entire life pretending and being shy around everyone else. And recently, I’ve had that exact same connection. With you. I don’t feel it often, but when I saw you onstage singing one of our songs, I felt a pull to you. But then Tyler and I saw that look in your eyes that you were about to have an anxiety attack, and I just knew I had to help you. I’m actually the one that suggested inviting you to tour with us. I practically begged Tyler, because I wanted to get to know you better and this would be my only opportunity. I couldn’t bear the thought of letting you walk out of that bar, because I would never see you again.” For a moment, he looked like he almost regretted being so honest with me. I put a hand on his arm, and he relaxed, realizing he hadn’t said the wrong thing.

“Thank you. For being real with me, and also for helping me with no questions asked. I honestly figured that Tyler had come up with the idea, but now I get it. I wanted to know you too. I want to know both of you.” I keep my hand on his arm and lightly stroke his skin with my thumb. Goosebumps appear on every area I touch, and I suck in a breath. I didn’t realize I affected him this much. He returns the gesture with the hand that’s been lightly resting on my shoulder. He shifts even closer to me as I trace the lines on his tattooed forearm. Josh hooks a finger under my chin and lifts it up so I meet his eyes. He’s glancing down at my lips, a look that clearly says I want to kiss you. And I want to, so badly, but I shouldn’t. It’s too soon. We’re still in the beginning stages of our friendship, or whatever this is. But if he gets any closer to me, I won’t be able to resist. I pull back ever so slightly and say,

“It’s your turn.” He blinks and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah.” Josh also grabs a card from the connection level and reads it aloud. “How would you describe the feeling of being in love in one word?” There are so many things I could say. Warm, exciting, comforting. But one word sticks out that I settle on.

“Intense. There’s a lot of emotions that come with being in love. Sometimes it’s warm and fuzzy, and other times it’s bumpy. But those feelings, especially when you’re with the right person, are intense. When you’re in love with someone, all your feelings are amplified. I guess my description was more than one word, but you get the picture.” Josh nods, in complete agreement. We do a couple more rounds from the second level, then we just start talking unprompted and forget we were even playing. Whatever weirdness there was moments before, where we clearly wanted to kiss each other but wouldn’t make the move, has dissipated. We talk and laugh for hours, until my phone starts ringing on the coffee table. I pick it up and hear Rhea’s cheerful voice on the other end.

“Hey Dani! I’m outside whenever you want to leave. But by all means, take your time. Wink wink.”

“I’ll be there in a second.” I respond, then hang up the phone. Josh and I stand up, but it’s clear neither of us want me to leave. By now, it’s gotten dark, and tension hangs thick in the air between us. I think we both know it would break a boundary if I stayed any longer, because that meant I’d be spending the night. And I couldn’t do that. Not yet.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Thanks for having me over. And for the game. I think it did its job; we definitely know each other better now.” Josh pulls me in for a tight hug and rests his chin on the top of my head.

“Absolutely. Maybe you’ll have to play it with Tyler next time.” He grins at me and ruffles my hair playfully. I pet Jim goodbye, then head outside to Rhea’s car. Josh makes sure I get in okay, then waves.

“So, tell me all the juicy details. Did you guys make out?” Rhea asks eagerly.

“No, you idiot. We’ve barely known each other for two days. We just talked.”

“Just talked? I find that hard to believe. How could you resist a beautiful man like that?”

“Believe me, it was difficult. We almost kissed, but it’s too early. There was some physical contact though.” She immediately presses me for more details. “He had his arm behind me, and his hand was on my shoulder, I had my hand on his arm tracing his tattoo. We hugged. Nothing crazy.” Rhea looks at me like she was clearly expecting more.

“Almost kissed?! You should have done it.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t want to ruin anything. Since I’m going to be around them every day for months, I don’t want things to get messy by getting romantically involved with Josh.” As soon as the sentence leaves my mouth, I realize I hadn’t told Rhea I agreed to go on tour with them.

“Whoa whoa whoa, go back. You mean you took the job?” She’s looking at me with her mouth agape.

“Yes, Rhea! Now keep your damn eyes on the road!” I shout while laughing. She pulls up in front of her apartment building, gets out, and flings my door open to hug me. She lifts me up and spins me around in excitement.

“Congratulations, Dani! That’s amazing! You’re going to have so much fun. When do you leave?”

“In order to tell you, I kind of need to be able to breathe.” I say in a strained voice. She’s hugging me so tight it feels like my ribs are going to cave in.

“Right, sorry. I’m just happy for you!” We head up to her apartment while I explain everything.

“I leave in a week. I’ll be rehearsing and practicing the songs endlessly until then.”

“That’s fantastic. Seriously, I think you made the right choice. This will be so good for you. Plus, more unsupervised time with Josh.” She winks at me, and I roll my eyes. No one is pushing for us to be together more than Rhea. Except maybe Tyler. Those two would have a time together.

“Well, Tyler will probably be there most of the time.” I point out.

“I’m sure he won’t mind. If he’s anything like me, he’s rooting for his best friend’s happiness.” Once we’re inside, my phone buzzes with a text from Josh. Rehearsal is at Tyler’s house tomorrow at 11. Do you want to have breakfast beforehand? Rhea sees me grinning like an idiot at my phone and asks me to show her.

“Ooo, is this a date perchance?”

“You can’t just say perchance. And I’m not sure.” I respond and tell him that I’d love to go to breakfast. He texts back, Great! I’ll pick you up at 9. I send him Rhea’s address, so he has it for the morning.

I go to bed giddy about tomorrow’s events: breakfast alone with Josh, then more rehearsal time with Josh and Tyler. A week ago, I never would have thought this would be my life. I almost can’t believe I was so devastated about my band breaking up a few days ago. It seems like a lifetime away that I was arguing with Flynn and Lukas about song changes. The universe must have seen my pain and produced this opportunity for me. A way of saying I deserve better than two bandmates who treated me like shit. Now, I have two bandmates who are eager to help me and have me musically involved in their already well established music career. The only problem is, I can’t stop thinking about one of them.

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #slow burn #tension #hurt/comfort

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lilys42 · 1 month

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Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter Four

I wake up late into the morning, unsure of whether or not I had dreamed the whole experience last night. I open my phone and go through my contacts, and sure enough, Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun are listed. I immediately think about their offer to tour with them, and a mixture of excitement and anxiety churns in my stomach. I’m torn between staying in the small town band life I’m used to and traveling around the world with a well-established and famous band. I would no longer be practicing in basements and playing in old bars, half the patrons paying attention and the other half lost in their own conversations. I wouldn’t be making sandwiches with the expired ends of a loaf of bread because I didn’t get enough tips at my last gig to afford more, wouldn’t be making my own band merchandise and drawing my own logo. But wasn’t that the life I’d always wanted?

Ever since I graduated high school and flunked out of college my first year, I knew I wanted to be a musician. Rarely do bands make it to the status of the lucky few like Twenty One Pilots, but I didn’t care that I only had the smallest possibility of making it. I’d work part time jobs to make just enough money to get by as long as I could play music. I spent all my time during the day working so that Lukas, Flynn, and I could have late nights brainstorming new song ideas. We spent a lot of time practicing drunk, which never yielded good songs, but we didn’t have a care in the world.

I pull myself from my thoughts about the past and walk to the kitchen to get some coffee and breakfast. Rhea perks up from her spot on the couch when I appear.

“Morning. Did you get some good beauty sleep?” She asks with a glint in her eye.

“Yeah, I was exhausted when we got back. How about you?”

“Have any dreams about Ohio boys?” She completely ignores my question, obviously wanting to immediately grill me about Twenty One Pilots.

“Not that I remember. But I have been thinking about their offer.” I sit down next to her with my bowl of cereal and coffee.

“Oh? Do tell.” Rhea rests her hand on her chin and smiles at me in anticipation.

“My first instinct is to say yes. Even after mulling it over, I can’t ignore how incredible of an opportunity it is.” I begin.

“But..?”

“But it does make me a little scared. A lot scared, actually. I’d have to leave the only life I’ve ever known, and I’m so used to being a starved musician that barely makes enough money to survive that jumping to a band that makes millions would be a shock. And honestly, I’m most scared of losing my creativity. Everything about the tour is already planned out: the setlist, the stage design, the venues, the dates, even the songs themselves. Maybe they already have the harmonies worked out for me to sing, and who knows if I’d get to play my bass. I’m terrified that I’d miss the freedom of starting from scratch, you know? I don’t get to write lyrics and a melody, then get my bandmates to write the drums and guitar and finish off with a bass line that brings it all together. Isn’t that the beauty of being in a band? The chance to figure it all out together and have that unmatched feeling of finally pulling a song together?” When I finish and look over at Rhea, she’s looking at me with her mouth wide open.

“Damn, and here I was thinking it’d be a simple answer. I never considered…all of that. I completely understand where you’re coming from, but wouldn’t it be fantastic to get yourself recognized? You’ll have people lined up wanting to be in a band with you after they see you’ve worked with Twenty One Pilots. You’ll get your name on the map, and it won’t be so hard to start over with new bandmates. Plus, you pretty much have the guarantee of financial security. The pros outweigh the cons, do they not?” I think for a moment, but I still can’t come to a clear decision.

“I just don’t know.” She smirks at me knowingly, and I can easily guess what she’s about to say before the words come out of her mouth.

“Do I even need to mention how you’d get plenty of unsupervised time with that hunk of a drummer?” I can’t help it, my cheeks blush. We would be spending time together on a cramped tour bus, then hotel rooms, and backstage. And when Tyler goes to spend time with his wife, and we’re left alone…

“Look, why don’t you communicate with them about this? Maybe the decision will be a little easier if you tell them what you’re feeling. They might be able to ease some of those concerns.” Rhea suggests. And it’s a great idea. I finish my breakfast and text Tyler, asking if the three of us can meet up somewhere and talk about their offer. A few minutes later, I receive a message in response: Absolutely. Do you want to come to my house? Jenna and I are out getting coffee right now, but I can get Josh to come let you in and hang until we get back. I reply to his message, saying sounds good. He sends me his address, and when I look up from my phone again, Rhea is looking at me with her eyebrows raised.

“What?” I ask.

“You’re grinning like an idiot. Come on, give it up.” I hand her my phone, and she starts to smile too once she reads through the messages.

“Alone in a house with your drummer. You’ll have to take advantage of that opportunity.” She smirks knowingly.

“Oh, stop it. Will you drive me there?”

Twenty minutes later, Rhea pulls up in front of Tyler’s house. There’s a car in the driveway that I assume to be Josh’s, and my nerves light on fire all of a sudden.

“Deep breaths, Dani. They’re people.” Rhea reassures me, easily reading my thoughts as always.

“I know. I’m just still not used to this. What if I make it awkward?” I say.

“You won’t. I know you won’t. Once you get used to being around them, the conversation will flow easily. Now go on, it’s starting to feel like I’m dropping you off for your first day at kindergarten.” I chuckle, then force myself to open the door and walk up to the house.

“Text me if you need anything. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Rhea drives off, and I knock on the door. The muffled sound of barking and paws scurrying across the floor comes from behind it, then footsteps. I take another deep breath, then Josh is standing in front of me. I take him in: brown hair tousled and un-styled, black t-shirt and gym shorts, and a pair of scuffed white Nikes. He gives me a wide smile, then his golden retriever, Jim, shoves his head between Josh’s leg and the doorframe to greet me.

“Hey Dani! It’s good to see you again.” He says brightly.

“It’s good to see you too. And to finally meet Jim.” Josh opens the door for me to come in, and I immediately lean down to pet the dog. His tail swishes back and forth excitedly.

“How are you doing? I know last night was…a lot.” Josh asks.

“A lot better. It really helped having you and Tyler there when I was freaking out. I will admit it was a bit embarrassing to have a panic attack in front of people. That’s why I usually hole myself off from everyone.” I explain, opening up a lot more than I initially thought I would. I’m not the type to show my true feelings around anyone when I first meet them. Maybe it’s because I’m a fan of Twenty One Pilots, so I feel like I already know them, but it’s more the way Josh looks at me. He gazes at me with his brown eyes so full of concern and interest, and I can’t help but to spew every thought I’ve ever had. He looks at me like he cares.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. At all. Ty and I both know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed like that, so we want to help. But I understand the urge to run and hide. Did you want to talk about the tour, or would you rather wait until Tyler gets here?” I smile at how much he’s making sure I’m comfortable, and I tell him we can go ahead and discuss what I’ve been thinking. We sit on the couch side by side, maybe a little closer than necessary, and Jim hops up next to Josh, affectionately laying his head on his lap. Josh strokes his fur absentmindedly, and I can’t help but watch the prominent veins in his hand as it moves. When I look back up to meet his gaze, he’s looking at me with a slight smirk on his face, like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I ignore the heat creeping up my neck and say,

“I’ve kind of been spiraling, to be honest. Going on tour with you guys seems like a no-brainer, but it’s a really big deal, and I’ve never performed on a scale like that before.” The moment I start talking, I can’t stop. I didn’t expect to be trauma dumping to him, given that I’ve known him for less than twenty-four hours, but here I am anyways. I relay everything I said to Rhea, all my deepest darkest fears about the slim chance of being successful in music. He listens patiently, and when I’m done, tears are trailing down my face.

“God, I’m sorry.” I wipe my face and look away from him, my cheeks flushing from embarrassment this time. Josh brushes my arm lightly, and I turn to face him again. He’s looking at me with furrowed brows and a slight frown on his face. Not out of pity, but pure understanding and concern.

“Can I give you a hug?” He says quietly.

“I’d like that.” I expect him to stand up, but he pulls me to him on the couch instead, wrapping his arms around me, holding me sure and steady. My body immediately relaxes, and I press my face against his shoulder. Then he does something I really didn’t expect: he rests his chin on the top of my head. It’s such a simple gesture, but it’s so intimate. Maybe Rhea was right. Maybe he is into me. Or maybe I’m delusional and he’s just being nice.

“Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I know it wasn’t easy. If it helps you decide, Tyler and I talked about giving you a lot of creative freedom. This would be a collaboration more than us telling you what to do onstage. Sure, it’s a job, but we want you to have fun, first and foremost. Plus, I saw your energy when you were singing. You were genuine. You felt the music deep in your soul. That’s definitely the kind of person I want to hang out with for months on end.” Josh says honestly. I can hear a smile in his words as he talks. We let go of each other, and I suggest,

“Why don’t we all play a song together? That way we can get a feel for each other musically and if this would really work.” Josh suddenly grins from ear to ear.

“So, you’re considering saying yes?”

“I guess I am.” I laugh as he jumps up from his seat on the couch, Jim getting up with him and mirroring his energy. He grabs the dog’s front paws and lifts him up onto his hind legs, dancing with him and looking like a complete fool. I laugh harder, and all traces of panic or sadness leave me.

Suddenly, the front door swings open; Tyler and Jenna take in the very odd scene before them, and Tyler says,

“Am I interrupting something?”

“As a matter of fact, you did. Jim and I were having a moment.” Josh replies in a sassy tone. The golden retriever wrangles free from his grasp and goes to greet the couple.

“Well anyways, hi Dani! This is my wife Jenna.”

“Nice to meet you. Glad you kept this one in check and didn’t let him destroy the house while we were gone.” She says, pointing to Josh. I giggle at the fact that they keep talking about him like he’s their teenager.

“It’s nice to meet you too. Your house is beautiful.”

“Well thank you. I’ll leave you three alone to work on your music.” She smiles, kisses her husband, and heads upstairs. Tyler watches after her with an expression of pure love and adoration.

“So, how’s it going?” Tyler looks mainly to me when he asks this question, presumably checking in on my anxiety level exactly like Josh did.

“Better. Josh and I talked everything through a bit before you got here.” I explain everything that I told Josh and Rhea, and Tyler listens intently. Once I’m finished, Josh brings up his proposal to play a bit together so I can make a definite decision.

“Sounds like a great idea! And Dani, your fears and anxieties are completely valid. I mean, if you’d taken me out of my parents’ basement when I was first learning to write songs to perform in front of hundreds of thousands of people, I’d freak out too. This is a big step, so let’s work through it together. Come on, let’s go downstairs.” Tyler says. I want to tear up at how good they’re being to me, but I fight back my breakdown this time. Josh scans my face and gives me a slight smile, like he can read the emotions just by looking in my eyes. He puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder as we go down to the soundproof basement. I miss every point of contact once he takes his hand away.

I feel a wave of calm wash over me as soon as I enter the room. There are a couple bass guitars lined up along the far wall, along with an electric guitar and a couple amps. Tyler has hung his ukuleles up on the wall, on full display. I recognize the instruments he plays onstage immediately, and they’re noticeably more worn down than the others, the wood and frets worn down from years of hands moving across the neck. Then, there’s Josh’s drum set. It’s a basic kit that doesn’t have all the bells and whistles like his stage drums do. They’re plain white, and he has a couple backup drums, cymbals, and piles of drumsticks tucked away in a corner. Theres also a couch across the room and a mini fridge, which I imagine is full of Red Bull, Tyler’s drink of choice.

“So, do you play any instruments?” Tyler asks as he picks up a white electric bass and plugs it into an amp.

“I play bass, actually. I tried to learn drums, but I guess I don’t have the coordination. As soon as I touched the kit, it’s like I forgot any sense of rhythm.” Both the boys laugh softly, and Josh says,

“I could teach you sometime. If you want.” His hands are stuffed in his pockets, and he looks nervous. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s about to play his music with a new person, or if he was anxious to offer drumming lessons to me. Maybe a little bit of both.

“I’d like that.” I respond, and he lets a breath out. Tyler looks between us with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, then smirks.

“What songs of ours do you know on bass?” He breaks the weird trance between Josh and I, and I falter. It’s like every time I look at him, I forget how to be a person. I forget how to breathe, how to speak. The only thing on my mind is him, and the only thing I can focus on is trying to impress him, trying to make him like me. I can hear Rhea’s voice in my mind: just be yourself. He’s a person, just talk to him. I bring myself back to the present moment, and both Tyler and Josh are looking at me expectantly.

“Quite a few. My favorite to play is Jumpsuit. I’m working on a couple from Scaled and Icy, but since the album just came out and the tab isn’t available online, I’ve had trouble picking out the bass line.” I explain.

“Jumpsuit is a fun one. I can also look at some Scaled and Icy songs too with you. I could always give you the tab for it, and you can practice it on your own. Feel free to grab a bass and mess around.” Tyler points to the instruments, and I pick up a black one. I plug it into an amp, turn it on, and mess with the settings a bit until it sounds how I want it. I feel eyes on me, but when I look over to Tyler, he’s fiddling with the knobs on his own bass. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Josh hovering near me, watching my hands as I pluck a few strings on the bass. Just like I was watching him earlier.

“Alright Dun, get situated.” Tyler says. He reluctantly turns from me and heads over to his kit, his best friend nudging him with his elbow playfully before he sits down. As soon as he’s in the stool and there’s drum sticks in his hands, he visibly relaxes.

I take a deep breath, listen to Tyler counting down, then begin the song’s low opening bass notes. He watches me for a moment, and once Josh comes in on the drums, he starts improvising some backup notes. Tyler sings the first verse, and then nods to me once the second verse comes around. I sing quietly and unconfidently at first, and Tyler walks a few steps closer so he can hear me better. I look over at Josh, and he gives me an encouraging smile. Tyler starts to sing with me again, and the three of us find a comfortable rhythm that makes me let go of my lingering nerves. I start to move around just as I would onstage, close my eyes, and feel the music. Once I’m confident enough to sing at a normal volume, albeit slightly louder so I can hear myself over the drums, I realize Tyler and I sound good together. Really good. Our voices compliment each other: mine light and airy, his more raw with emotion and feeling.

Once the final notes of the song ring out, Josh and Tyler look at each other in wonder. “You know,” I say, “I think this just might work."

#twenty one pilots #josh dun #tyler joseph

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lilys42 · 1 month

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Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter Three

Warnings: anxiety/anxiety attack

Later that evening, Rhea feels as though she’s given me plenty of time to stew in my own sadness and throws a black sequin dress at me where I lay on the couch watching SpongeBob reruns.

“Get dressed Dani. We’re going to the open mic.” She commands. I debate arguing that I want to stay here, but it’s no use. She’s as stubborn as can be and gives me a look like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.

“Fine. I assume this is what I’m wearing?” I inspect the dress and vaguely recognize it. It was one I used to wear all the time when Rhea and I would go bar hopping years ago. It since has drifted to the back of my closet, forgotten. I hadn’t worn it in so long because the band insisted I wear things that were more modest. It’s low-cut, short, and the sequins are loud. I’ll surely stand out in the bar, which is the last thing I want right now. Unfortunately, it’s the first thing Rhea wants.

“I’ll give you a smokey eye and some fishnets to go with it.” She smirks, clearly hell-bent on this mission to get me back on my feet.

“I don’t even know if this dress fits anymore, Rhea. I haven’t worn it in years, since I had to hold your hair back while you threw up in a bush on the side of the road after one too many tequila shots.”

“Yeah, that was a rough night. But think of it as your Princess Diana revenge dress. You’re gonna go out there, show all these assholes what you’re made of, and you’ll have a hundred bands lined up wanting you to be their lead singer.” I smile despite my sour mood. As always, her words are enough to persuade me, and I get dressed and let her do my makeup. With the spaghetti strap dress, the tattoo on my left arm is in full view. It’s a Twenty One Pilots tattoo I got when I turned eighteen. The lyrics read “The sun will rise and we will try again.” Lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Truce. Underneath it is their symbol. I got it after going through severe mental health struggles; those words always reminded me to stay alive, and that even if I’d had a bad day, I could try again tomorrow. I still get emotional whenever I hear that song.

I take my hair out of its half-hearted ponytail and decide to leave it down for the night. The one thing I put my foot down on is heels. I never, ever wear heels onstage. I tried it once, and I nearly fell over; by the end of our set, one of the heels was broken and my feet were aching. I put on a pair of worn Converse instead.

“Ready?” Rhea asks.

“I suppose.”

“What are you going to sing tonight?”

“I’m not sure yet. I definitely want to do something upbeat.” I say. I scroll through my playlists and try to pick a song.

“Something Twenty One Pilots I’m assuming.” Rhea smirks at me as we walk to her car.

“How ever could you have known?” I say sarcastically. Once we get to the bar, I go over to one of the employees and get them to put my name down to sing. I also tell them the song I chose so that they can have a backing track of the instrumentals for me. Rhea gets us both drinks, and I down half of mine in one gulp. I’ll definitely need the liquid courage, as I haven’t performed by myself in a long time.

“So, what did you pick?” Rhea asks me as she takes a few sips of her usual drink, a Redbull and vodka.

“Holding Onto You. It’s got a lot of interesting vocals in it, so I figured it’d show off my range pretty well, especially at the bridge.” I explain.

“Good choice.” Rhea and I talk for a few more minutes, then the employee calls my name. I also told them to make the audience aware that I’m looking for a band to play with, and I cross my fingers that there’s some interested musicians in the room.

“Go get ‘em, Diana.” Rhea pats me on the back encouragingly. I walk up to the uncomfortably empty stage and try not to think about how much my hands are sweating. My heart starts to beat faster, and it almost feels like the first time I performed. I was riddled with anxiety, but at least I had my bandmates to talk me through the panic attack backstage. This time, it’s just me and the microphone.

I step onto the stage, take a deep breath, and give a thumbs up to the sound guy. He starts the music, and once I hear those first few notes and drumbeats, a sense of calm washes over me. The sense of peace and control that I get when I sing anchors me, and I begin the song confidently. I ignore the crowd and look towards Rhea in the back of the room. She’s grinning from ear to ear, and her silent encouragement takes away the last shreds of my fear. I start to move around the stage like I always do, and I notice a couple people that know the song singing the lyrics back to me.

I make it through the first verse and chorus with ease, then I stumble. There’s a short instrumental break where I look behind me out of habit to smile at Lukas and Flynn. But they aren’t there. There’s only empty space and the curtain that marks the end of the stage. The second verse starts before I’m ready, and I fight to come back in. But I lose my place and I can’t remember which lyrics I’m supposed to be singing. I look to the back of the room for Rhea, but she isn’t there. I’m completely alone. Everyone’s eyes are on me, on the deer in headlights wearing a stupid sparkly dress that catches every single ray of light, and I am completely, utterly alone. I don’t have a band to back me up, only an instrumental track. That’s still playing. It’s in the second chorus now, and there’s no way in hell I can redeem myself at this point. I can’t seem to calm my breathing either, and I clutch my chest. My lungs can’t get enough air. My eyes dart around the room, at all the expectant people looking at me, and I falter. I can’t do it.

I put the mic back on the stand and rush behind the curtain. I find a dark corner backstage with no people in my way and collapse to the ground. From here, I can hear the backing track stop and the confused murmurs all around the bar. It’s too much. I clamp my hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. Tears threaten to break through, but I fight them. I try to fight the panic attack that’s coming on too, but it’s no use. That’s when a pair of hands grabs my wrists and pulls them away from my ears, pushing my knees down so that my head is in view. I keep my eyes shut tightly so I don’t have to look at the stranger, who’s probably an employee trying to tell me I can’t be back here.

“Hey.” A familiar male voice speaks gently. I open my eyes and look down at a pair of scuffed vans that lead to black jeans and a black tank top. And very familiar looking tattoos. I drag my eyes up to his face, and my suspicions are confirmed. Tyler Joseph, the lead singer of Twenty One Pilots, is looking back at me.

“Tyler?” I ask weakly, still not fully convinced I’m not dreaming.

“Yeah. Are you okay?” He asks.

“Um, I—” I look behind him, and another familiar person is crouched on the floor as well. Josh Dun, Tyler’s best friend and drummer. He smiles at me, and I nearly melt. Oh God, this makes things so much worse. They saw me fuck up their song. I start to panic again, and my lungs constrict. I can barely breathe, and my hands are sweating, and my vision is going blurry, and I need to get out of here-

“Look at me.” Tyler says, gentle but commanding. I meet his gaze and feel tears run down my face.

“Breathe with me.” He takes a deep breath in through his nose, and I follow as he exhales through his mouth. He does it several more times, and I can feel my heart rate decreasing as my body leaves fight or flight mode. Josh comes closer to me and grabs one of my hands, wiping away my tears with the other. My eyes dart back and forth between them, not knowing who to focus on.

“Close your eyes.” Tyler suggests. “Feel the floor beneath you, feel Josh’s hand, feel your breathing. Listen to my voice and focus on it.” I do as he says and let the panic attack fade away, bringing me back to the present moment. Josh Dun, my celebrity crush since middle school, is holding my fucking hand. I open my eyes after a few moments and look at them.

“How do you feel?” Tyler asks.

“Better. Thank you.” I say.

“I’m going to go get you some water, okay? Stay right here.” I nod, and Tyler disappears into the dark.

“I’m sorry.” I look at Josh, and he furrows his brows.

“For what?”

“I freaked out and messed up your song. It’s just, I haven’t performed by myself in a long time.” I explain.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Honestly, Tyler and I were honored when you stepped up on that stage and started singing our music. Awesome tattoo by the way.” We smile at each other.

“Thanks. My band just broke up, so I came here in search of some new people to play with. But then I panicked, because I was alone on that stage, and my friends weren’t backing me up. I’m not used to being without them, so it really spooked me.” Tyler returned by the time I was done explaining the source of my panic attack and handed me a bottle of water. I accepted it gratefully and took a couple sips.

“I’ve had panic attacks in public before too, so I know how you feel. I know how dark it is, getting inside your own head and not being able to claw your way back out. I hope it’s okay that we came back here. I just couldn’t stand leaving you to fend for yourself during a moment like that. I find it’s always better to have someone there to ground you and talk you through it.” Tyler says. I catch him squinting in the darkness to read my tattoo, and he smiles to himself. He must like it too, then.

“I really appreciate it. But of all people, I didn’t expect it to be you two.” I laugh, then suddenly remember Rhea is probably searching for me. “Shit, I need to go find my friend.” I stand up, and the guys immediately stand with me. Josh lets go of my hand, and I try to ignore how empty it suddenly feels. “Um, do you guys mind coming with me? I don’t want to walk out there alone.” I look at the ground, but Josh tilts my chin up with his finger to make eye contact with me.

“Of course. What was your name again?”

“Dani.” They both nod, then lead me back out to the bar. Some people stare, but Tyler and Josh sandwich me in between them protectively.

“Oh, there she is. Rhea!” I point to my best friend, and they lead me over to her.

“Shit, there you are. I was worried sick, are you okay?” She hugs me immediately and eyes the two men behind me suspiciously.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll tell you about it later. By the way, this is Tyler and Josh. Guys, this is Rhea.” I introduce the three, and Rhea suddenly looks at me with wide eyes.

“This is them? No way! Nice to meet you guys.” She shakes both their hands and they each smirk at the fact that I’ve clearly talked about them enough for my best friend to recognize their names.

“I think maybe we should go. This revenge dress is really attracting unwanted attention.” I say, looking around at all the people eyeing the girl who freaked out onstage.

“Oh, yeah of course. Let’s head out the back door.” Rhea leads us outside, Tyler and Josh in tow. I explain everything that happened once I’m able to breathe in some fresh air.

“Fuck Dani, I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve helped you.” Rhea drags a hand down her face.

“It’s okay. I had these two.” I gesture to the guys, who each give me their signature smiles.

“You know, in a twisted way this actually works out pretty well. Josh and I have been looking for someone to tour with us for our new album and add something special to a couple of the songs on our set. Would you be interested?” Tyler asks me. I look at Rhea, and her jaw is on the floor.

“Oh, um. I, uh—” I stammer.

“You don’t have to give us an answer yet. I understand everything that happened tonight is a lot to process. I can give you my number, and you can communicate with me what you’re thinking. How about that?” His patience and understanding immediately made me want to say yes, but this would be a big step. It’s something I should definitely mull over for a few days.

“That sounds great. Thank you so much. For everything.” I look at both of them when I say that.

“I’ll give you mine too, just in case you need anything.” Josh offers. Both the guys put their numbers in my phone, and we say our goodbyes for the time being. I get in Rhea’s car and stare out the window, shell-shocked.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” Rhea says, taking the words right out of my mouth.

“Yeah. Holy shit. Not only did I meet my favorite band, but they want me to tour with them.”

“You’re gonna say yes, right?” Rhea is grinning from ear to ear, and so am I.

“I want to. Obviously I want to. But going on tour with Twenty One Pilots would completely change my life. I’d be on the road for who knows how many months, and it would be a much bigger production than I’m used to. It would completely uproot me.”

“And that’s a bad thing because?”

“I’m just saying I really need to think about it. When the excitement and adrenaline has worn off and I can make a rational decision.” I say.

“I guess you’re right.” Rhea is silent for a moment, then says, “But wouldn’t it be so fucking cool to hang out with your celebrity crush every day? He’s single, right?”

“Oh, shut up.” I smile despite myself.

“What? I saw the way he was looking at you. That dress was the right choice for tonight.” My eyes jerk towards her.

“What are you talking about? How was he looking at me?” I mean, Josh did hold my hand and look at me sort of flirty, but I thought he was just being nice.

“Like he wanted to eat you up.” She enunciates the last word to make her point.

“No way. You’ve gotta be lying.”

“Are you kidding? Is Josh Dun having a crush on you really so far out of the realm of possibilities? After everything that’s happened tonight?” She has a point.

“I guess not.” I say quietly.

Once we get home, I shower off my smeared makeup and am finally glad to get out of that dress and into comfier clothes. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the opportunity I’ve been given. Touring with Twenty One Pilots would not only keep me afloat financially until I can find another band to work with long term, but it will open up my future as a musician so much more. Not to mention, I get to hang out with Tyler and Josh every day. I can’t stop thinking about Josh in particular. His hand in mine, callused from years of drumming. His kind eyes and that damn smile. And suddenly I stopped thinking about my career. I start thinking about how my life would change if Josh actually did like me back.

#twenty one pilots #josh dun #tyler joseph

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lilys42 · 1 month

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Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter Two

My alarm shrills at nine in the morning, announcing the dreaded moment of moving my stuff out of my shared apartment with Flynn and Lukas. I’d rather rot in bed for the rest of the day than face this, but I might as well get it over with. The moment I step out of Rhea’s guest room and into the living room, she puts a cup of coffee in my hand.

“Good morning!” She says brightly. That’s the first clear difference between us- she’s probably been up since seven AM, and I’m still rubbing the sleep from my eyes and barely standing up.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a good morning. Thanks for the coffee.” I take a sip and sit down on the couch, taking a moment to wake up before I get dressed.

“No problem. I figured you’d need it to deal with those idiots. Do you need me to go with you? I don’t want you to have to move everything out on your own. Besides, you’ll need to take my car anyway.” I can tell by the look in her eyes and the slight furrow in her brows that she’s worried about me being alone with them, given everything they said to me. To be honest, I’m a little worried about Lukas’ temper myself. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.

“It’s okay. I need to brave this alone. I don’t really have that much stuff to pack up. Half my wardrobe and possessions are here already since I stay over so often.”

“That’s true.” I finish my coffee, get dressed, grab a couple big bags to stuff my things in, and prepare to head out.

“Be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything.” Rhea gives me a tight hug.

“Thank you. For everything.” On my way to my apartment, I do the one thing I can do: I listen to music. I can’t stand sitting in silence, being left alone with my thoughts when I’m driving, and during times like these emotions are running high. I turn to my comfort band- Twenty One Pilots. I’ve been listening to them since they put out their first album. When I heard that first song, I was hooked. They immediately became my favorite band, not only because of the sound and artistry of the music, but because of the lyrics. Every word Tyler writes is etched into my soul. I feel the music down to my very bones.

I put on Lane Boy, one of my favorites in terms of sound. I crank up the volume until I can feel every drum beat in my heart. I tap my foot in time with the music and find myself relating the lyrics to my current situation: They say stay in your lane boy, lane boy, but we go where we want to. My fear surrounding stepping back into the apartment fades away. The song speaks to me, telling me to go wherever I want with my music. I refuse to listen to Flynn and Lukas when they tell me to stay in my lane.

After a couple more songs, I park next to Flynn’s van and text him to let me in. He opens the door with a somber frown, and I give him a glare as I push past him. Lukas is on the couch, watching me like a hawk with anger in his eyes as soon as I step into his line of vision.

“You know, you don’t have to move everything out right away. It’s okay if you need to stay here until you can find an apartment.” Flynn says. I know for a fact he doesn’t want me here, but he’s trying to be nice since he’s aware of the shitty position he’s put me in. I see right through it.

“No, it’s not. If we’re not bandmates anymore, we’re not friends. She can stay with Rhea.” Lukas spits. He matches the look of malice I give him.

“I don’t want to spend another second with you, so I was planning on it anyways. But thank you so much for the advice.” I say sarcastically. I march to my room before they can say anything else and start filling my bags with my books, clothes, decorations, and trinkets. I’m able to get everything in the large duffel bags I brought, minus my furniture. But, my desk is really the only thing I want to keep, so I plan to leave my bedframe and dresser for Lukas to haul to Goodwill. Within an hour, I’m ready to load everything up and leave this place in the dust.

“Rhea’s car isn’t big enough to fit everything, so I’ll have to come back for some of it.” I carry two of the heavy bags out into the living room and set them down by the door. Lukas peers at me from the couch, making a point to not help me. Flynn rolls his eyes at him, and I chuckle under my breath. For a moment, he seems like the same old guy I became friends with five years ago. But I have to remind myself that he isn’t. Not anymore, because of the poison Lukas has been whispering to him.

“Don’t worry about it. I can put whatever you need into my van and follow behind you.” Flynn offers. I can tell he wants to add, so you don’t have to come back here with him.

“That’d be great. Thanks.” I give him a genuine smile.

“I’ll take these down for you.” Flynn starts to bring the duffel bags down to Rhea’s car, leaving Lukas and I alone. He stands up and walks over to me, and I try to ignore the instant panic that settles in my stomach. I clench my fists and take a step back.

“I uh…shouldn’t have said what I did last night. I do hate the way you changed the band and only listened to your own vision with no care for what we wanted, but I should never have smashed my guitar and yelled at you. I’m sorry.” He hangs his head.

“It’s fine, I know that apology wasn’t your idea. I know how much you hate me, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate to call me a stuck-up bitch again. I’m just really disappointed that you’d turn on me like this.” Lukas sighs but says nothing in response. I expect him to at least make eye contact with me, but he retreats to his room and slams his door without a final goodbye.

Flynn and I bring the desk down, load it into his van, and head back to Rhea’s place. Rhea comes down to help us haul everything up, then it’s time for another heart to heart.

“You know, I planned a whole script out for this, but now it all sounds stupid.” Flynn runs a hand through his hair and laughs nervously. “I’m sorry things had to end like this. And I mean that genuinely. Things got rocky at the end, and we may not see eye to eye, but I still wish you the best. I won’t forget these past five years.” If I didn’t know better, I’d think those were tears in his eyes.

“Me either. I just wish you would have communicated with me that something was wrong. Maybe we could have worked it out. I’m sorry if I ever caused you any pain. That was never my intention. Lukas, however, can go fuck himself.” We share one final laugh, and I watch one of my best friends walk out the door and out of my life.

#twenty one pilots #josh dun #tyler joseph

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lilys42 · 1 month

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Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter One

I wasn’t able to stop him before he smashed the guitar against the ground. It was his dad’s old acoustic, so he must be really pissed at me.

“You fucked up the entire song, Dani!” Lukas shouts.

“I told you I changed the lyrics last minute! It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep up.” Lukas slung his poor guitar against the pavement again until its worn neck splintered into pieces. He points what was left of the headstock at me with a look of hatred on his face, and our drummer, Flynn, steps between us.

“How about we all just take a breath? Dani, just admit you shouldn’t have changed the entire tempo of the song a day before our show so we can move past this.” Flynn’s feeble attempt to deescalate the situation wasn’t helping, only fueling the fire.

“Hold on, I cleared this with both of you. I’ve been telling you guys for a week I wasn’t feeling the song, and I gave you both the sheet music for it!” My voice began to rise too.

“No, no. You don’t get to make changes like that just because you’re the lead singer. Especially not when we haven’t rehearsed it. God, we made a fucking fool of ourselves out there!” Lukas drops the shattered remains of his guitar and puts his hands on his head, pulling at his hair out of frustration.

“Okay, I admit we should have rehearsed it. But come on, we talked about it. If you didn’t want to change the song, then why didn’t you speak up?” I argue. Both boys are silent for a moment, then Flynn decides to weigh in.

“That’s the thing with you. It’s all about what you want, and what you think is best for the band. It’s been that way for a while. Lukas and I both agree.”

“What do you mean?” My voice falters. I see where this is headed, and I shake my head. Flynn gives me a sympathetic look; his shoulder length hair being pushed around by the wind. He angrily tucks it behind his ears, then continues.

“Maybe it’s time we part ways. I mean, this is the third time just this week we’ve argued over something. We just…don’t see eye to eye anymore. We want to stick to the same old music we used to play, and now you’re trying to change that.” What? I always figured it would be boring if we stuck to the exact same sound and song progression that we started with five years ago.

“I write what I feel. Forgive me if I’m actually feeling happy for once in my life and want lyrics that reflect that. I want to be creative, different. And if you see something wrong with that, maybe you’re right. Maybe the band has run its course.” As I say the words, my heart splinters until I am nothing but a pile of emotions, resting beside the discarded shreds of Lukas’ guitar. I sink to my knees, ignoring the bite of the cold pavement against my bare skin. Lukas whispers something under his breath. I can’t quite make out the words, but I can tell they’re laced with the hate he feels for me in this moment.

“What did you say?” I urge. He turns his head to the side and locks eyes with me, his expression of loathing etching itself deep into my soul.

“I said, no one cares about your feelings, you stuck up bitch. You write what makes us money, or have you forgotten what pays our bills?” Tears spring in my eyes. But I refuse to let them fall. I refuse to let him win.

“Fuck you.” I stand up and rush back over to the back door of the venue where we left our instruments. I pick up my bass and cradle it to my body.

“Dani.” Flynn grabs my arm.

“Don’t.” I say, shoving him off. “Just go. Pack your shit up and go back to the apartment. I’ll be there tomorrow morning to get my stuff.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts, searching for someone to call to come get me.

“Where are you going to go? And how? I’m not leaving you stranded out here in the middle of the night, Dani.”

“I’ll get Rhea to come get me.” Sure enough, she answers on the second ring.

“Hey dude! How did the show go? Sorry again I couldn’t come, but I couldn’t get a single person to cover my shift, and the manager would have my ass if I called out again.”

“I need you to come get me.” I face away from the boys, hoping the wind will drown out my vulnerability.

“What? Is everything okay?” Her usual chipper attitude is gone, replaced with pure concern for her best friend.

“Not really. We um…had another fight. But this one is bad. It’s really bad, Rhea.” I can’t stop the hot tears from flowing down my face. It takes everything in me to stay upright; all I want to do is scream and cry at Lukas and Flynn for how much they’re hurting me.

“Okay honey, just stay right there. I’ll be there in ten. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No, I’ll be okay. I’ll be waiting around back for you.” I sniffle and wipe away my tears.

“Hang in there okay? I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up, and I turn to face the boys again.

“God, don’t cry. It’s pathetic.” Flynn wipes a hand down his face, like he doesn’t know how to deal with my emotions.

“You’re both assholes.” They say nothing else, just load their gear into Flynn’s van and peel out of the empty parking lot. The last of the customers at the venue’s bar trickle out, laughing in a drunken haze and tripping over their own feet. Completely oblivious to my heartbroken self sitting by the door. I sit in complete silence once the laughter has faded. All alone with my thoughts- exactly what I’ve always hated.

Minutes later, Rhea’s car pulls up next to me.

“Uber for Dani?” She says in an attempt to lighten the mood. I can’t help it; I crack a smile. I lay my bass and amp in the backseat, then climb into the passenger seat next to her. She gives me the few minutes it takes to get on the highway back to her place to process, then asks,

“What happened?”

“The band broke up.” I say as bluntly as possible.

“What?!”

“Flynn and Lukas think I’m selfish for changing one of our songs. We fucked up in the middle of our set and Lukas lost his mind and smashed his guitar.” I recount the entire situation to Rhea, and she just stares at the road wide eyed.

“Jesus Christ. Lukas is more of an asshole than I thought. And Flynn called you pathetic? That’s unlike him.”

“I know. He was always the nice one that kept the peace between me and Lukas when we were at each other’s throats. But the past few weeks…he’s been downright mean. Those idiots were my best friends for five years. How can they just drop me so easily?” My tears fall anew. Rhea parks in front of her apartment and reaches over to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry, Dani. I know how much your band meant to you. Do you think you’ll try to find another band to play with?” Rhea asks. I get out of the car and stare up at the dark night sky as it starts to drizzle.

“I don’t know. I can’t even begin to think of starting over. What am I going to do, hold auditions?”

“I don’t see why not. Maybe we could go to some local shows and post some flyers or something.” She suggests. I smile at how much she’s instantly willing to help.

“There’s an open mic at a local bar tomorrow night. How about we go? I would say to stay away from all your usual spots for a while to avoid Lukas and Flynn, but we all know they can’t sing like you can, and nobody’s going to want to play with those assholes.” I chuckle.

“Sure. I need an outlet for all these emotions, and music seems like the only way. That or slashing Flynn’s tires.”

“Oh, we can do that too.” Rhea and I head inside, arm in arm. She puts on my favorite movie to make me feel better: Scream. And for the first time tonight, I stop thinking about my stupid bandmates.

#twenty one pilots #josh dun #tyler joseph

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