#tension

[sailfish-serum]

He's protectin his wittle head 🦑🐙

[ya-no-la-quiero]

Anónimo

[lazyjellyfish300]

DD

Fem Reader x Miguel O'Hara who is your Uber Driver

Commissioned art by @ejpuki on Instagram, same as the one above, this is just a link to the original post. Please support the artist 🖤

Synopsis- in an AU where fem reader drinks too much and the bartender calls a random Uber for her which happens to be Miguel O'Hara himself. Her friends suck and ditch her. There's a lot of tension on the ride home...with a twist on the og Miguel O'Hara comic. Word Count 4.5k

Pt 2, Pt 3 1, Pt 3 2 , Pt 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9

T/W: 18+ only, minors DNI, alcohol, drunkeness, mature language, implied masturbation, some sexual content/fantasizing, some self-deprecating language (reader is insecure), age gap (reader 26, Miguel 34)

This is my first EVER fan fiction piece! If you have a crush on Miguel O'Hara from Across the Spider Verse, this is for you...

---

"Next song is for all the bad bitches in here tonight, let's make some noise." As soon as the song starts you recognize that it's Agora Hills and a switch goes off in your brain as you yank your friend, Hailey by the arm to the dance floor while she struggles to get the last sip of tequila sunrise down the hatch as the ice cubes attack her face.

It was a Saturday night, now very early Sunday morning in mid-November. You and your two friends are in a slightly seedy club in Brooklyn. Right now, all three of you are trying to escape the first-world problems of modern day society, and common issues that would plague late-twenty year old adults like stagnant jobs, anxiety-inducing texts from distant family members about plans for the holidays, and a casual fling that started to sour about 3 days ago.

Right now, all you want to do is dance to this song. And go home for some relief because the tequila is making you horny and your situationship hasn't texted you back for going on 16 hours now.

You and Hailey giggle as you both throw your heads back in bliss to the music, holding each other's pinkies as you try and awkwardly spin on the dance floor.

"Wait!" Hailey calls out and stutters as she lets go of you and tries to squeeze through a sea of musk, 5- Gum, and Bath and Body Works perfume back towards your other friend, Brin, who's still at the bar.

"Fuckkk. Whatever girl." You drunkenly roll your eyes and close them again, throwing your arms in the air, moving to the beat. The song is making you feel even more electrified than before. You toss your head back and move your hands from your shoulders, to your chest, down to your thighs. It's one of those moments where you feel dangerous.

God I love being a woman! You picture going home with a stranger. A tall man's lips crashing down on yours in your dark bedroom in drunken passion, falling backwards onto your bed. You picture yourself pulling your clothes off slowly while his hungry eyes scan your curves…

Your fantasy is interrupted when you feel a clammy hand touch your hip, just below where your see-through top ends. Your eyes shoot what you hope is an annoyed look at the offender. A brown haired guy in a white t-shirt with a flannel who looks like his name is Tanner, smirks at you as he moves past you, but not before letting his eyes dart to your cleavage line under your black bralette. You groan and move the other direction and realize Hailey and Brin are nowhere to be found. Your drunkeness wears off for one second as you slowly jerk around, trying to make your way towards the bar.

A tall brunette with a half sleeve tattoo, glasses, and her straight brown hair in a claw clip is counting her drawer.

"H-have you seen my friends?" you ask her stupidly. The tall brunette looks at you, her small sticker name tag on her baseball tee shirt reads "Reagan."

"I can't hear you, hunny." Reagan has seen this a million times. "Last call just ended. Do you have a ride home? I said, do you have a ride HOME?"

Reagan leans over the bar, holding onto your wrist. Her breath smells good at least.

"Okay look, can you hand me your phone please? Let me help you order an Uber." You blow air out of your lips like a horse and sloppily hand her your phone. "Enter your passcode, please."

You type in your passcode and watch the glint from your phone reflect on her glasses as she orders an Uber for you. Luckily, your address is already saved to the app. "Okay, sweetheart, wait here with me. Miguel is coming for you in 4 minutes." She hands you back your phone and credit card. "Sign here please."

Fuck, did I transfer that 200 from my savings before I got here? You think as you sign the receipt she hands you. The total is $58.75. You scrape the tiny excuse for a pocket inside your skirt and hand Reagan a crumpled up 20 as a tip. Reagan takes it, eyes widen a little bit at the sight of the 20.

Did she mean to give me this much?... Fuck it. She gives you a small, concerned grin.

"Thanks... let me get you some water."

You nod and slump your head forward on the sticky bar.

Suddenly Reagan is shaking your shoulder.

"Hey! Your ride's here!"

You realize you might have fallen asleep temporarily. The room is still moving like you're trying to balance on a waterbed. She places a styrofoam to-go cup in your hand filled with ice water as she grips your left arm.

"Here, just take off your shoes, hunny." She bends over and pulls off your clunky heels and holds them in her free hand. You feel like you're 4 years old. You feel tears well up at the sudden kindness.

"Okay hunny it's okay, come on now." She pulls you outside and to the curb where a black Audi is waiting. The cold air assaults your bare legs and your teeth start to chatter. The driver recognizes his passenger is quite inebriated and gets out, walking towards the struggling pair.

You feel your bedroom eyes creep up when you see him. Oh no, he's hotttt!

You curse in your head silently for not checking your reflection before he got there. You're sure you're a hot mess though.

He's tall, huge, even. Definitely way over six feet. Dark tousled hair with dreamy brown eyes underneath sculpted brows are locked on you as he gets closer. You instinctually run a hand through your hair, trying to make it look more voluminous. Probably a lost cause at this point.

He's wearing black joggers with some worn Nikes. His black hoodie is baggy but you have a very good imagination. It covers a set of broad, wide shoulders and what you're sure are bold chest muscles underneath that lead to a delicious pair of V lines and an endearing happy trail of hair running down his belly button that lead directly to his-

"Can I carry something for you?" His rich voice pulls you out of your indecent thoughts for one second then sends you right back there again.

"Um, yes can you get her shoes please?" You hear Reagan's voice go up an octave.

Girlll me too. You think to yourself.

Miguel takes your heels in a pair of strong, large hands. As he does, he tugs his sleeve and checks a black Apple watch, veins running up a thick forearm. Called it. This guy was jacked. Probably a gym bro. Definitely has a girlfriend. You feel yourself get sucked back into reality. You were probably a 7/10 at best. And right now, probably a strong 4 after your shenanigans tonight.

Miguel opens the back door, allowing Reagan to tuck you in.

"Get home safe hunny," she says.

"Thank youuuu," you slur back to her as you sit, disheveled with your sippy cup of ice water in the backseat opposite of the driver's in front. Miguel gets in the driver's seat, the scent of Old Spice seeps in.

He smells good too?! You feel yourself wanting to sin. He sits in the front seat for a few moments in silence, fiddling with his phone.

"2949 Ocean Parkway?" he asks in his mesmerizing voice.

"Yeah, that's right." You feel yourself perk up. You're starting to sober up slightly but you still have enough liquid courage left to start asking him a lot more questions than you normally would.

"Your name's Miguel?"

"Yes," he answers. "Did you have a good night tonight?"

"I did! It was supposed to be girl's night, I'm not sure what happened to them, though."

"Your friends left you?" His dark eyes glance in the rearview mirror at you.

Sighhh "Yeah, I guess they did."

"You need better friends." One of his hands comes up and grips the shoulder of the passenger seat as he sits up and looks over his shoulder, his eyes meet yours for just a moment, then focus on the back window as he pulls out of the parallel parking spot. You can't help but stare at his chiseled jawline and his neck, imagining yourself planting a line of kisses on it while he groans and grits his teeth...

"You know what sounds amazing right now?" You ask in a flirty tone, interrupting your own dirty thoughts.

He cracked a small smile. "What's that?"

"Taco bellllll." You rest your cheek on the shoulder passengers seat, looking at him.

He glances at you, then keeps looking ahead as he drives.

"Well, if you want to update the route I'd be happy to stop anywhere you want."

You laugh.

"I don't know how to do thattt." The car comes up to a red light.

"Here, want help?" Miguel looks over at you as you hand him your phone which has the app still opened, courtesy of Reagan helping you from before. Miguel quickly types, his eyes going from the traffic light to your phone as he tries to enter the new address for the closest Taco Bell.

"Got it," he hands you back your phone, another whiff of his cologne coming off the fabric of his hoodie as he moves his arm back to rest on the center console while he drives with his left hand.

You glance down at your phone and then back at him, still leaning forward with your cheek pressed against the back of the passenger seat.

Unbeknownst to you, Miguel was curious about his new passenger, probably the last ride he'll do tonight. He didn't get a good look at you when the bartender was putting you in his car. He glanced over at you again when he thought you weren't looking, but quickly moved his eyes back to the road when he saw you were staring at him already with your cheek pressed against the passenger seat.

"You tired?"

"Kind of," you fake a small yawn while still holding your position.

Miguel laughed. He thought that was kind of amusing, how you were clearly faking being tired and shamelessly staring at him while he drove. He knew he was a good looking guy. Once you got into his car, he felt like he needed to take care of you and make sure you got home safe since your shitty friends wouldn't.

Your eyes wander to the space between his chest and the steering wheel, trying to imagine yourself in it, his strong arms wrapped around you as your hot, frantic, breaths fogged the windows as your bodies pressed together...

"So, y/n , right?" He asks.

Fuuuuck he said my name...

"Yeah..how did you know?! Oh right, the app, the app..."

Miguel smiles.

"So, Miguel, how is it being an Uber driver?" you ask. Feeling brave, you touch his elbow resting on the center console. Miguel's fist clenches tighter around the steering wheel at your touch.

"It's...not bad. It's been pretty busy tonight, actually. I went to the gym earlier then just have been taking a few folks like yourself around town who were going out as well. "

"That's nice. You know, we're gonna be best friends by the end of this drive," you grin, taking another sip of ice water.

"Really?" Miguel smirks. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Your heart flutters at this question. Why is he asking me that?!

"Uhm, no.. I was talking to a guy but I think he ghosted me."

"Heh, I'm sorry to hear that." Miguel replied, not sorry at all.

"Do girls ghost you? Or-uh, I mean- do you, do you have a girlfriend?" you manage to spit out.

Miguel smiles at your stutters.

"Nah, I'm single. I do have a daughter though."

Your smile disappears for a moment. A daughter? "Awhhh, what's her name? How old is she?"

"Her name's Gabriella. She's 6."

"That's sweet...." Miguel's handsomeness mixed with the liquor is enough to cause all rational thinking to exit your brain. I could be a step-mom, easy! I love kids, what the hell?

"So, how old are you?" You ask.

Miguel chuckles. "Isn't it rude to ask a stranger's age?" He glances over at you and the corner of his mouth raises at your slightly mortified expression. "I'm just messing with you- I'm 34."

"Dang, I'm 26," you answer as you look out the window.

"You're still pretty young," Miguel remarks as he turns down a new street.

"I definitely don't feel that way," you answer as you slump in your seat. You decide to check your email. Once you open it, a message that you don't want to see is at the very top. It's a random Yahoo email address you don't recognize which means only one thing: your asshole, estranged dad. You click on it quickly to clear the bold lettering indicating it's unread, and catch a quick glimpse of its contents which is a novel with no spacing. You quickly delete it with a loud sigh.

"Everything okay?" Miguel asks.

"Just my dad. Somehow he made another email address and tried to contact me again. It's a long story though we don't have to get into it..." your voice cracks slightly.

The skin around Miguel's eyes softens when you mention your tense relationship with your father. He himself knew that pain as well. His father, George O'Hara, wasn't a model parent, either.

"I'm sorry you're going through that," Miguel says emphatically. "I don't have the best relationship with my dad, either."

Once you hear this, the last bit of liquid courage in your system inspires you to spill the tea.

"He and my mom are divorced, and, well he's just a narcissist, right? Growing up, I didn't see it, but his whole family is full of them. My grandma never wanted him to marry my mom and so ever since their wedding day, she treated her like shit and when I came along, it was no different. I used to wonder why at Christmases she got bigger presents for the other grandkids and ask why she didn't show up for my birthday parties. My dad never did anything about it and always took their side. I finally realized it when I was about 16 when they divorced, and that's when I said fuck it. If you're not gonna stick up for my mom or me, I don't really want anything to do with you or your family."

Miguel nodded, just listening to you speak, glancing at you in the rearview mirror so you knew he was paying attention.

"Wow, I must say, that sounds horrible. Good on you for sticking up for yourself and your mother. As a parent myself, I can't ever imagine treating my own child or their family that way..."

You sigh.

"Yeah, shit's fucked. But there's nothing I can do about it, you know? I just don't have the strength to talk to him right now. But he never fails to try to reach out about this time every year. Since it's the holidays."

The car arrives at another red light. This time, Miguel turns around to face you while you're stopped, his eyes directly looking into yours.

"Don't feel guilty for doing what's best for you. No matter how hard it is. I know that most people think that family is everything, but, truth is sometimes they can hurt you the most." Miguel then turns back to the wheel.

You feel a flutter in your stomach as though an invisible spark appeared. You were strongly physically attracted to your handsome Uber driver, no doubt about it, but after hearing him speak, you realize there's more behind his captivating features. You feel the very beginning of a connection starting to form and suddenly you wish you had all night to talk to him. Miguel felt the same way, too. In fact, he was going 5 miles under the speed limit and riding the slow lane to try and prolong the encounter. Luckily, you were still too tipsy to notice.

"Well, this should cheer you up..." Miguel pulls the car into the Taco Bell parking lot. You groan internally when you realize you're going to have to go inside. You step out of the car, the cold air assaulting your bare skin again. Miguel notices you shivering.

"Here." Without hesitation, he peels off his hoodie and hands it to you. You want to die as soon as you put it on, and once you see him standing there without it on. He's even more toned than you realize. He's wearing a grey athletic shirt that hugs his broad shoulders just right, his defined chest and ab muscles tapering off into a narrow waist. His hoodie is still warm and smells intoxicating. You feel your hormones going crazy when you bring the collar of the hoodie to your mouth and nose, shamelessly getting drunk on the scent he left behind...

You do a mini sprint to catch up to him as he's already making his way towards the restaurant.

Miguel looks at you from the corner of his eye and his heart skips a beat. He adores the way his oversized clothes drown you. The hoodie is big enough to be a dress on you. He imagines this would be how you two would look together getting a bite to eat, only after making you scream his name 30 minutes before....

You and Miguel enter the Taco Bell and he gives an awkward grin as he holds the door open for you.

"Why don't you sit down or use the restroom if you need, let me order for you," Miguel says.

Your heart melts, but you decide you better seem modest with your order.

"Umm just a gordita crunch, small Baja blast, and a 2 pack of Cinnabon delights please."

Miguel smiles. "You got it." Suddenly, he feels close to you. You trusting him to order food for you and take you home after a rough night out while letting you wear his clothes.

While you go into the bathroom, he approaches the counter.

"Hello, I need two gordita crunches, a large Baja Blast, and a 12 pack of Cinnabon delights, please" He takes out his card and pays for the food without a second thought.

Meanwhile, you come out of the bathroom after cleaning up a bit, still wrapped in his warm hug of a hoodie and wait near the door. Miguel strolls over with your food and grins at you.

"Are you ready to go?" You nod and grin back and you two make your way back to his car. Suddenly, you realize.

"Do you have Venmo? Let me know how much I owe you."

"Absolutely not." Miguel answers firmly. "Here, why don't you sit up front this time?" He opens the passenger door for you. You beam at him.

Is this real? Is this guy really doing all this for me and I just met him? You've never had a man treat you this well. Not even your last relationship could be bothered to hold a door open for you or pull out a chair. You get in and Miguel hands you your bag of food, the delicious aroma making your stomach growl. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion when you realize there's a lot more food in the bag than you told him to order originally. Miguel gets in the car and starts to drive again.

"Did, did you order extra food for me?" You laugh as you turn to him. Miguel gives you a small half smile but says nothing. You take a bite of the gordita crunch and let out a loud, "Mmmmmmm!" Just what you've been craving all night.

"Thank you, thank you so much you have no idea..." Your sentence tapers off as you stuff one of the piping hot Cinnabons into your mouth.

"You're very welcome." Miguel answers as you arrive at another red light. You realize Miguel didn't get himself anything.

"Do you want a Cinnabon bite?" You hold the box and give it a little shake.

Miguel offers a polite smile. "No thanks, those are all for you."

"Whaat, you can't turn down one of these. Have you even had these before?" You say playfully.

He chuckles at your playful tone. "I haven't, actually. But I trust your judgement."

"Come onnn...it's the LEAST I can do after everything you've done for me tonight. You're seriously gonna make me feel SO bad if you don't take at LEAST one." You give the box a couple shakes as if it's going to entice him more.

Miguel sighs. "Alright, you got me. I'll try one."

You smile wide as he takes one of the Cinnabon bites from the box you're holding in an outstretched hand. Your smile almost breaks your face as you see his reaction to his first bite.

"Jesus.." he mutters as his brows furrow in disbelief. He looks down at the remaining bite in his fingers as though he can't comprehend its existence. "That's spectacular, actually."

"Have another one!" You beam.

"Don't mind if I do." Miguel pops another one in his mouth and he brakes again at another red light.

He glances over at you and notices a little bit of taco sauce on the corner of your lip. "You got something..."

Suddenly, your heart stops as he raises his hand to your face, cupping your cheek between his thumb and pointer finger, while his middle finger cradles your chin. His lips part in concentration as he gently presses his thumb against the corner of your mouth, retrieving the smudge of taco sauce. Your mouth falls open a little bit too. He gives you a little smile as he brings his thumb to his own mouth, cleaning the sauce from his finger.

That might have been the hottest thing you've ever seen in your life. At this point, all you want to do is grab his face and make out with it. Traffic be damned, your runny mascara be damned, your deflated hair be damned, you don't care anymore about any of that. He could ask you to do anything and you'd give it to him without hesitation.

Miguel is thinking the same thing. He did that on purpose. If it wasn't anymore obvious he wanted you right now then he wasn't sure what was. His gaze falls back to your lips. He suddenly realizes you've begun to lean in closer to him. Your noses are inches away from each other. God, he wanted you. To lick passionately into your mouth with his tongue. Being able to hold you and grip your ass as though he was a starved man who couldn't get closer to you even if he tried. Watching your brow furrow with pleasure, hearing your voice and watching your breath fog his windows and the heat rising in his body knowing he was the cause...

Reality busts in like the Kool-Aid man.

She was drinking tonight. You just met her. She's your passenger. Technically, you're still working right now...No, it's not right...

Miguel pulls away suddenly, and, as if the universe has his back, the traffic light turns green and he presses the gas, driving once more. Your breath catches in your throat and your heart starts to pound again.

Doesn't he like me? What happened....? What did I do....? Did I misread the signs? I wanna hide in my room for the rest of my fucking life now.

You clear your throat and take a long sip of Baja Blast. The uncomfortable silence and tension becomes a thick fog. You recognize your apartment building coming into view and your heart sinks.

"Home sweet home..." Miguel pulls into the parking lot. "Is here a good place to drop you off?"

"Yeah..." You try to make your tone sound like it's back to business. Miguel nods and grips the steering wheel with both fists in the 12 o' clock position as he watches you gather your things.

Ask for her number, you fucking pussy... Truth is, when it came to matters of the heart, Miguel's heart was glass.

"Thank you for the ride and the food, and, and just everything..." you step out of his car, defeated. You really didn't want to be the one to make the first move. If he really wanted to he would...

Miguel looks back at you with a neutral expression.

"Of course. You have a safe night, now." He starts to pull away.

"Miguel!" You realize you're still wearing his hoodie and you go to take it off.

He looks at you through the rolled down window, still driving away and shoots you a gorgeous smile and shakes his head at you in refusal, giving you one last wink that nearly knocks you over.

You sigh with frustration and watch his car disappear into the night, trying to memorize his license plate but your brain is hazy and the numbers on it escape your mind as soon as they enter. Your heart leaps in your chest when you realize you might be able to contact him through the Uber app...

No no, you let him talk to you first. Did your last situationship teach you nothing, you dumb hoe?! Don't be that desperate girl...

You wrap the droopy arms of his hoodie around yourself as you walk up the stairs and take a deep sniff...burying yourself in his scent so you never ever forget it. Even if he didn't want to spend the night holding you, you could go to bed with a huge smile on your face knowing you walked away with a piece of his clothing, the essence of what he left behind wrapped around your body all night long. An intangible connection that bound you two together...

Miguel sighed as he drove away. He just didn't have the bravery tonight. He didn't want to come across as creepy. The reality is, you were a slightly intoxicated stranger, a vulnerable woman younger than him, and he didn't want to abuse his power over you in that way. He looked at the empty passenger seat next to him and laid one of his hands on it, feeling the warmth you left behind. Trying to remember the way your thighs pillowed on it...the way your soft lips opened in shock when he wiped the sauce from your mouth, the small line of saliva from you that he caught on his thumb and licked into his own mouth..

He inhaled deeply, his jaw tensing and speed on the road increasing as he felt his body getting hot... He tried to lock your perfume in his nose for as long as he could, imagining himself inhaling it directly from your soft neck... holding onto the remainder of your presence, just...just until he could get home and relieve himself of his dire wants...

You, the perfect stranger who found herself in the passenger seat of his car tonight, and unknowingly wound up in the back of his mind for good...

-----

Hope you liked it! Thank you SO much for reading. ❤️ Part 2 is coming soon!

Pt 2

[solozxo]

Not so little // JJK

Summary- Jungkook struggles with his loyalty towards his best friend as his desire for you , his friends little sister , grows

Warnings - Smut , Dry humping , Sexual tension , Brothers bsf , fingering , little age gap ext (in their 20s btw)

Pairing - Jungkook x reader

A/N - This is my first time writing so pls bare w me and let me know how i do

Pt.2 - https://www.tumblr.com/solozxo/731745076449050624/not-so-little-jjk-pt2

Jeon Jungkook. The things that man does to you.

You met him around 3 years ago , just casually relaxing in your room nothing too fancy and your brother comes home being all obnoxious and loud as per usual…

————————————————————————————

Flashback

“SCOREEEEE”

“dude that’s so not fair don’t be like that”

“no a wins a win”

What’s with the noise down there? you think to yourself, but brush it off as no big deal , after all your brother never has any real regard for your beauty sleep anyways.

You roll over and try to sleep again after the rude disturbance coming from downstairs.

“AHAAAAA NOW PAY ME I WON FAIR AND SQUAREEE”

That’s it. You get up and prepare yourself to rage at the constant noise - walking with haste downstairs with nothing but slippers , an oversized shirt that could be mistaken as your fathers , and a cute bunny headband covering your head revealing your bare face.

You storm in with your fists clenched ; expecting only your brother with his headset on like he usually does.

“JOSHUA , i’ve told you time and time again stop being a prick and shouting so loud as if you have noise cancellation installed in the walls! YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LIVES HERE”

You yell to the top of your lungs to prove your point about the ridiculous sound level.

“ummmm… Y/N” your brother says in an unusual tone which is strange because he’s usually very snappy with his comebacks.

“what! guessing you don’t like my volume either huh! WELL THERES MORE WHERE THA-“

You looked to your brothers right and there was a guy stood beside him staring right at you.

There’s a Guy in the house

There’s a Guy in the house. A Guy I don’t know. A kinda hot Guy . A kinda hot Guy who just heard me yell to the top of my lungs. A kinda hot Guy who’s looking at me right now . A KIND OF HOT GUY WHOS SEEING ME IN MY HORRIBLE SHIRT AND BARE FACE!

He stands up , he’s wearing a white tee with grey sweatpants holding a controller , he’s got a few piercings and beautiful tattoos all over his arm , he’s pretty tall too and your brother stands nexto him as they both eye you whilst you stand there stupidly - mouth slightly open.

“Y/N this is my friend Jungkook , Jungkook this is my ridiculous little sister Y/N” your brother says with a smug look on his face as realises how embarrassed you are right now.

Jungkook walks towards you in a smooth stride.

“So your the cute baby sister i keep hearing about” , he says , tilting his head whilst looking down on you making you feel very vulnerable yet very horny.

You straighten your posture taking pride in your current state refusing to cower away due to the obvious embarrassment coursing through your body right now.

“I’d rather not be referred to like that but yeah im his sister and your making way too much noise down here as you can tell i’m trying to sleep”

You say as you move your hands up and down your body signalling what you’re wearing to him which clearly indicates you were in bed.

Your brother scoffs and rolls his eyes whilst returning to the game and sitting down , turning his back to you and jungkook , who are still both currently stood in the middle of the living room face to face.

Shit. As you stand there you scan his face, His complexion is almost god like , his lips look so soft and pretty and his eyebrows so nicely carved , his eyes too , his eyes are so-

“Is there something on my face?” Jungkook says with a slight smile. Yeah me hopefully..

“Nope , now if you and my brother don’t mind i’m going back to my room so be quiet” you offer a tight smile spinning on the balls of your feet not looking back , running straight to your room and shutting the door behind you , instantly throwing yourself to your bed as you freak the fuck out.

-

Jungkook stands there and smirks to himself thinking about the encounter you both just had.

“hurry up and get back on the game” joshua huffs whilst his eyes are intensely focused on the TV.

Jungkook sits on the couch nexto him and grabs a controller.

“You never told me your sister was so pretty”

Joshua whipped his once concentrated head straight to jungkook so fast to the point he almost got whiplash.

“absolutely not , nope , no way , plus she’s like 4 years younger than you PLUS My sister , so if you ever thought about getting with her then no. Anyway it’s like me if i had long hair… gross dude” Joshua said as he shook his head returning back to the game.

“hmm sure” Jungkook replied bluntly .

“i’m serious , she’s like a baby who complains 24/7 and shes insanely bratty AND she’s just like….not mature atall , she’s not ready for that lovey dovey shit im telling you” Joshua scoffs in pure denial.

“if you say so”

————————————————————————————

3 years later

-

You have gotten used to seeing Jungkook around in your house , as time went by you found yourself crushing on him and wanting to impress him but your brother always found his ways of making you seem like some unprepared child who needs stabilisers or something, CLEARLY ruining your shot at getting with this guy (which you desperately want to do)

You starting to get more and more agitated as you desire Jungkook more each day , it’s almost like he’s a forbidden fruit and sometimes you even wonder if he finds you attractive , infact your really really curious.

-

“Hey kook” You say whilst poking his deliciously broad back as he stands in your kitchen scanning your fridge.

“Hey Y/N what’s up” He says not removing his attention from the fridge.

“i wanna ask you something” You mention with a serious face , feeling a bit daring due to the lack of eye contact.

“Talk to me” he says whilst straightening his back slightly.

Welp here goes. “do you find me attractive?”

There’s a slight silence.

He turns around and closes the fridge , looking straight at you and starts evaluating your body from head to toe , you suddenly feel small.

Your wearing a dress which clings to your body nicely , your hair is done in a style that suits you perfectly and your bat your eyelashes at him slightly as you await his answer.

“Your stun-“

“Hey guys what we talking about” Your brother rudely interrupts opening the fridge once again.

“nothing” you huff and walk away.

Was he gonna say stunning? why is my brother such a cock block , if he found out i wasn’t a virgin he would probably have a stroke

Jungkook exhales at the missed opportunity to compliment you but shrugs it off and continues talking to Joshua.

-

“Hey guys let’s watch a movie or something , it’s kinda late so it would be the best time to fall asleep straight after” Joshua recommends whilst putting something on regardless of your answers.

The hunger games starts playing and everyone gets comfy , Joshua is sat on the far end of the couch leaving a bit of room between him and Jungkook , and you are sat nexto Jungkook on the opposite end only difference is that your closer.

You pull a blanket over yourself as you lean back into the chair and glance over to Jungkook whose body heat you can feel radiating off of him.

It’s dark so you can’t really make of his facial expressions but you notice he’s holding popcorn.

You reach for some popcorn accidentally making direct contact with his hand , his hand is soft and big , I wonder how it would feel wrapped around my throat-

You left your hand lingering on his , looking for some sort of indication that he’s attracted to you , but he moved it back into his lap and looked at you curiously before facing the tv again.

You feel disappointed but you still can’t be too certain that he isn’t attracted to you.

You feel a slight heat growing between your legs as you realise how close he is to you and how easy it would be for him to touch you , the thought of it makes you rub your thighs together hoping for some kind of relief.

Jungkook seems to notice this and he places a hand on your bare thigh right below the blanket placed over you.

The sudden contact makes you flinch but it only makes you even more horny and wet.

You bite your bottom lip and focus on the tv trying not to show too much excitement as his hand clutches to your thigh , and you wait for some sort of movement.

But after a minute or two you notice he isn’t moving his hand , and now the desire becomes pain as you crave his touch , something more.

You accidentally clamp your legs closed at your own thoughts , trapping his hand between your thighs.

Jungkook glanced over to Joshua who’s resting in the far end of the chair , focused on the movie.

then he puts his attention onto you who’s legs have just swallowed his hand , and he squeezes your inner thigh as if to signal you to open your legs.

You open your legs and rest back , expecting him to remove his hand and get back to the film.

Instead he slowly traces his hand up your thigh towards your underwear and your eyes widen and you look at him.

He’s still focused on the tv but his hand only moves futher up landing straight onto your clit.

You bite your lips as you suppress a little moan at the sudden contact , wanting nothing more than for him please you with his fingers.

He starts to move his fingers in a circular motion , softly pressing down on your clit , he feels how wet you are already and it only turns him on more feeling himself growing in his jeans.

You take your bottom lip in between your teeth and open your legs further, clenching your eyes closed in attempt to not make a single sound.

Jungkook leans towards your ear and whispers , “Keep quiet if you want me to make you feel good”

The air is thick as you want nothing more but to ride his fingers there and then , and maybe even more .

His fingers suddenly stop and the withdrawal makes you whine slightly , then he slides his hands in your panties feeling your bare pussy.

The feeling of his bare hands between your legs makes you thrust forward , wanting nothing but to ride his hand.

Jungkook raises his brow as he sees how desperate you are for him as you attempt to rut against his hand like a cat in heat.

“Baby your gonna need to keep still before your brother notices , hmm?” Jungkook whispers in your ear as you feel his breath fan against your face slightly.

His fingers circle your hole then he slowly pushes a single digit in.

You both slightly gasp at the tight grip you have on his finger.

“Your so tight , i wonder how you would feel wrapped around me” he says as he leans into you again , only this time he places a lingering kiss on your neck as he thrusts his finger into you and uses his thumb to rub on your needy clit.

Shit i want him so so bad

You slightly whimper as he quickens his pace , feeling that sensation of an orgasm , but you didn’t want it to be that easy… you wanted more.

You grab his hand , which catches him by suprise as he was sure he could feel you tightening around him getting closer to your release.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers.

“I want more” You nod your head towards your brother who’s fallen into deep slumber , who’s most definitely not waking up any time soon.

“Your his little sister i c-“

“His little sister yet your hand is on my pussy right now” you smirk , silencing him.

“Fuck it fine” He takes your hand into his and leads you to your room , which he hasn’t entered until now.

You shut the door behind yourselves and he stands still scanning your room.

“pretty cute room” He says whilst fiddling with items on your dresser.

“whatever , now please do something about this before i cry” You say softly rubbing between your legs.

Jungkook looks down at you and licks his lips whilst tracing your body with his hands and your nipples perk through your tshirt.

He sits at the edge of your bed and leans back , resting his elbows on the sheets.

“Come sit on me baby” He says whilst unbuckling his belt to loosen his jeans.

Don’t have to tell me twice

You straddle his thighs sitting directly on his clothed dick wrapping your arms around his neck , instantly grinding yourself against him getting any sort of friction you can get.

He leans his head back and grips onto your hips , thrusting upwards into you.

You both moan at the connection of your clothed bodies rubbing against eachother like horny teenagers.

“touch me kook , please” You whimper.

“as you wish” He says , running his hands up your body to play with your hardened nipples , leaning in pressing his lips against yours for the first time , melting into you with a passion that felt a bit more intimate than it was sexual , but you didn’t question it, you didn’t have the time to , not when all you wanted was to ride him and feel him inside you.

You both pull away from eachother and exchange breath whilst looking into eachothers eyes .

“Jungkook i don’t know how long my brother is going to be asleep , if you want me now is your chance”

You say looking directly into his eyes , looking for some type of answer , longing for something, anything that shows he wants you just as much as you want him.

He stares back

he’s silent for a minute

A minute too long.

“i want you , i do….i swear but….. your my best friends little sister” he breathes out , looking into your eyes hoping to find acceptance instead of hurt , but as he searched , he found only disappointment and humiliation.

Your arms which were wrapped around his neck dropped down into your lap and you look down.

i’m such an idiot, he was just horny and wanted to mess with me , he doesn’t want me , he will never want me. i’ll always be my brothers little sister , not womanly enough for him to make love to.

Jungkooks heart raced at the thought of hurting you , he didn’t mean to , his loyalty to your brother interfered with his desire for you. He held onto your hips and tilted his head trying to get a clear view of your face.

“okay Jungkook , sure i get it, it’s whatever” You shrug , offering the same tight smile you offered him on the first day you met him , only this time this smile held pain , heartbreak and shame.

You get off of him , feeling cold due to the loss of body heat you were once entangled in , and you walk to your door opening it holding your head low , signalling for him to leave.

Jungkook stands up and fixes his clothes , looking right at you to try and read your expression , but he silently takes his leave and returns to your sleeping brother who is still submerged in the couch.

“I guess i’m just not up to his standards , i can get over this , i can do it , i can”

You murmur to yourself as you curl into a ball on your bed , wishing for the night to be over with.

-

2 Months later

Jungkook still came over regularly, but you avoided contact with him as much as you could , wanting to avoid any possible interaction or embarrassment.

Jungkook felt like an absolute villian knowing he broke the trust with your brother yet he feels even worse knowing he couldn’t give you what you wanted , but he thinks it’s for the best.

Or so he thought………

———————————————————————————-

A/C : AHHHH how did i do?

[lovekylie]

KYLIE MINOGUE — "PADAM PADAM"

[auteurdelabre]

SO MUCH TO LOSE - CHAPTER 9 - dark!Joel x f!Reader

Rating: 18+

Words: 7.4k

Chapter Tags:  sexual tension, mentions of suggested abuse, girl-bonding, Joel being Joel, reader being oblivious.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE

A/N: Y’ALL really came through with the comments! It made me stay up far too late typin’ away. But I’m glad to deliver this to my sweet audience and I hope you continue to bless me with your thoughts, reblogs and funny tags. Also lemme know if you have money and wanna give me some because your girl is BROKE y'all. BROKE.

Wednesday - my bb, my light, my sweet please never stop commenting on A03 because I read those like others read stories. I laugh, I cry, I emote. Never stop.

Also, two people should NEVER ride a horse when one’s in a saddle. It’s horrible for the horse! But this is fiction so y’all gotta forgive me for it, all right?

Lastly - Chapter 10 is.... gonna be memorable. That's all I'm sayin'.

SO MUCH TO LOSE: CHAPTER 9

You toss in bed a short while later, your mind going a mile a minute. You can't get the memory of Joel's furious face out of your mind. You can’t get Ellie’s sad eyes and her tensed shoulders to leave you. You can’t stop imagining what happened the second you left their home.

Part of you wanted to run right back to that house on Rancher Street and to beg Joel’s forgiveness for intruding. It was never your information to gather, not your place to pry. It was information never given willingly and for that you understand his fury. You understand it better than most.

But the other part of you, perhaps the part that had brought you to tears as you left had been the sight of Ellie's horror at your question. Of would Joel hurt her? Because in Ellie’s eyes you saw her own lingering question reflected. 

Who hurt you? 

It's too complicated to get into, too personal and that's why you think you feel this overwhelming sense of guilt. Because if you'd come home to the space you shared with someone else and heard them divulging your biggest secrets, your deepest wounds, you can't say you would have acted any different.

In fact, you might have been worse.

You turn your head, noting that it's only now starting to grow dark. You hadn't even bothered with dinner. Just pulled on your sleeping clothes and robe and thrown yourself into bed. You wanted to forget the hours before, wanted sleep to claim you and help you erase the day.

But you can’t. You just lay there twisted in your sheets, feeling like a stranger in your own body. You consider trying a warm shower when you hear a sudden thudding on your front door. This isn't Ellie or Jennifer. This is someone else and you have a pretty good idea who. 

You think that you should just stay in bed, try to ignore the insistent pounding. But you need to pay for your mistake. This is your penance. You move down the stairs and to the front door opening it slowly. 

Joel is standing on your porch, his broad frame looming over your door. His hands are on either side of the frame, braced as if he has to physically hold himself back.

When you pull the door open he juts his chin forward aggressively. He hasn't even bothered putting a jacket on, despite the weather. He's wearing just his green flannel and a scowl that makes you take a physical step back. 

"Joel-"

"You think I'd hurt Ellie?" Joel says, teeth clenched. "Hurt my own fuckin' kid?"

You glance quickly over his shoulder noting that the street is deserted. Your street is one of the newer ones, less populated. It makes you nervous to see him looking so furious with no witnesses. But you answer him anyway.   

"I don't know you at all," you tell him with a wince. "For all I knew you could have and I felt responsible."

His jaw is clenched tightly, ticking as he glares at you. You can see the fury building there in his frame and it makes you tremble. But you swallow, raising your spine and fixing him with what you hope is confidence.

"You yanked me around on patrols before," you remind him, swallowing your fear the best you can. "You're known for being ruthless with raiders. Most everyone is terrified of you. Is it really that much of a stretch?"

For the first time this evening you think that what you're saying registers with Joel because he blinks and some of that inky black in his gaze grows a soft brown.

"I've never hit you. Never come close." His voice is soft, almost admonished. 

"No," you concede, "but you haven't exactly been gentle either." 

Joel takes in the way you're cowering, the way you flinch when he shifts. He sobers, lowering his hands from your doorframe, pushing himself back from you. 

"I'd never hurt a kid," he murmurs. “I’d never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.”

He takes a moment to look at you, really look at you. You wonder if he sees the blotchy pink of your tear-stained face or the dark circles under your eyes from barely sleeping this week.  

Joel's eyes narrow and without stepping closer to you it feels like he gets nearer when he speaks low and even. 

"Your dad hurt you or somethin'?"

You're momentarily thrown by this question from Joel. He's never really asked you anything this personal before. You toy with the idea of closing the door on his face because he doesn’t deserve to know you this way. But you think of how vulnerable he must feel with you having all this information about his past, about his Sarah, and you answer.

"No," you tell him honestly. “My dad was amazing.”

"Your mom then?"

"No."

You cross your arms over your chest, indicating that the conversation is now at an end. You've shared as much as you are willing to at this point in time. 

Joel looks equally stoic despite the nature of his questioning. His eyes drift over your body for the first time since he arrived at your doorstep, fixing on your sleep clothes and open robe before shooting back to your gaze. You pull your robe around your body, shivering at the cold draft coming in from the outside. Joel clears his throat. 

"Ellie never should have told you all that about me," he says. "Wasn't her information to share." 

"It was my fault. I never should have pressed her for details," you admit, talking to his shoulder. "It wasn't my place." 

Joel exhales through his nose by way of reply. The two of you stand in quiet thought before you feel compelled to ask.

"Did Ellie get in a lot of trouble?"

When he doesn't answer you finally move your eyes from his shoulder to his face, surprised to see he's staring at you. He's not going to answer you, you realize. You barely know him and it's between him and his daughter. 

You worry that you've messed everything up with Ellie. You feel like it's your fault that the fight happened at all. You think of how pleasant the afternoon had been with flower making and hair brushing. You hate to think of that going away. You swallow, gathering your nerves.  

"Am I still allowed to teach her to bake?"

After a moment Joel sucks his teeth and nods shallowly.

You shift where you stand, one hand still on the doorknob. It's warm under your palm. If Joel was anyone else you'd invite him in for a hot drink given the weather. But as it's him you simply stand awkwardly across from him. 

Joel peers into your face, gaze darting from each of your eyes to the next and back again. There's something about his stare that feels warm and heavy, something endless. 

"Get some sleep."

He says it softly, a husky command with none of its usual bite. Then he's gone, giving you one last look before he's taking off down the stairs of your porch. You watch his tall frame head down your street, scissoring through the night air until he's nothing but mist. 

And strangely the second you close the door you feel your feet taking you to your bed. You hear his voice quietly rumbling in your mind as you crawl under the covers.

Get some sleep. 

Permission. A command. A hushed order that gives you the freedom to just sink into the warmth of your bed, to close your eyes and feel your breath even out. 

And in seconds you're fast asleep. 

///

Jennifer greets you when you open your door to leave for patrols the next day, crowding your doorframe.

"I thought we could walk to patrols together."

"Okay." You pull your jacket around you, bracing yourself. 

You've known popular girls like Jennifer. The kind that roll their eyes and call you sensitive if you don't like how they treat you. You assume that this is what awaits you now.

"I'm so sorry for how I acted at the Bison."

You can’t say you were expecting that.

"I was trying to impress Joel," she continues. “Make it seem like we were all in on the joke together.”

When you see her standing there with her gloved hands clasped, looking apologetic you feel your animosity dropping from you like an unnecessary jacket.

"And I just... I never should have put you on the spot,” she continues. “I was just trying to go along with things, but that's not how friends act. My mama raised me better than that."

You know that what she's saying is important, but all you can focus on is that she just confirmed you two are friends.  You have a real friend.

"S'okay," you offer quietly. 

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Did you get my cookies?"

"Yep, they were good."

You don't make it a habit to lie to friends but she looks so proud of herself that you can't help it. She beams, clearly proud of herself. She doesn’t need to know that they’re at the bottom of your waste bin. 

"I'm so glad you liked them."

You want to say something kind to Jennifer, something that lets her know that you’ve forgiven her. Maybe its guilt from the fact that the cookies were barely touched. Whatever it is you scan her body, landing on her beautifully tailored jacket.

“I like your jacket,” you tell her, observing the dark green and black of the pattern and hood. “It’s really pretty.”

“Thanks, I made it myself,” she tells you proudly.  “Barely any time at all.”

“Tell me you didn’t just make it just for this patrol,” you say fixing her with a look. Jennifer goes pink and starts giggling. “Jennifer!”

"Oh hush,” she says elbowing your side gently.

You can’t help but laugh at your friend as the two of you head off to patrols, chatting pleasantly as you make your way down the path to town. Jennifer is animated as always, her voice lilting and cheerful.

“Luke was really disappointed when you took off," she mentions with a sly smile and side eye. "I just know he's excited about today."

You flush, eyes on the ground, not saying anything. The truth is you're very excited to see Luke today. You want to learn more about him, see his likes and dislikes. 

"Joel left soon after you did," Jennifer tells you with a frown after a few moments. "But I mean he came and had a drink with us so that has to count for something."

"Totally." 

You've reached the fence and see three of the horses lined up, tied and waiting. Luke is patting Glimmer but he waves to you both as you approach. Your stomach flips pleasantly at the sight of his light hair falling into his eyes.

Chestnut whinnies gently as you approach, his long neck arching towards you. You smile as he ambles over to greet you the best he can.

"Hi boy," you whisper, gently patting down his long muzzle. "You having a good day? Huh?"

"Hiya Glimmer," Jennifer coos. You think that this must be her usual ride on her patrols. 

"Morning Luke," you offer, trying to appear nonchalant. 

"Mornin'."  Luke’s smile is shy but earnest. "We missed ya this week."

"Yeah?"

He nods and you feel your face grow hot because you are sure Jennifer is staring at you both with a smirk. "Yeah, missed shootin’ with ya."

You busy yourself with running your hand over chestnuts flank, all the while trying not to read into things. Maybe Luke just likes having a fellow peer there?  

Or maybe he likes me.

You have to admit to yourself that you have a crush even if crushes feel so adolescent in your mind after everything that happened to the world. But there’s something that makes you want to laugh at the way some things never change. Humans will continue to lust, even after the earth is swallowed by disease.

"Looks like a simple enough job," Jennifer observes looking at the few pieces of lumber strapped to the horses. Enough that it's good for building but not too heavy for them to carry. You go to reply when you hear a booming voice sounding out behind you. 

"S'a fucking joke. Gettin' them all the way over here just to be one short."

Joel is arguing with Hank, one of the crew. Hank is an older with an under bite and bushy eyebrows. He fixes Joel with a formidable stare. He’s one of the few in Jackson City not intimidated by the elder Miller.  

"I don't know what to tell ya Joel," Hank shrugs. "It's all we got."

"What's going on?" Jennifer asks, swanning over to the men. She stands close to Joel, her shoulder brushing against his. You notice as his dark eyes sweep over her face as he notices her.

"Only three horses available today," Hank explains to her. "Others were taken out."

"Why?"

"Heard about an intercepted shipment of medicine nearby. Sent a bunch of folks after it. Anyway, one of you'll have to double up."

Joel makes a huffing noise before shouldering past Hank and hauling himself up onto Midnight. He's made it very clear he won't be riding with anyone. That leaves you, Jennifer and Luke. In habit you go to grab Chestnut’s bridle. Jennifer is determined not to go down without a fight. 

"I'm small," Jennifer says in a breathy voice you don't really recognize as hers. "I'll double."

She looks directly at Joel who is going to great lengths to look anywhere else. If it weren’t so awkward you might have laughed, but instead you try to hide your smile behind your glove.

Oblivious to the dynamic, Luke pats the side of his horse. 

"You can ride on the back of mine if you want Jenny," Luke offers with a friendly tip of his head.

Your smile immediately dies. Why didn’t you volunteer? Jennifer pauses, waiting for Joel to inject.

Get the fucking hint, Joel. 

He doesn’t.  He just shifts the two guns he’s carrying on his back, clearing his throat.

You see how crestfallen Jennifer looks, but it’s for only a moment before she shines a bright smile Luke's way as she hauls herself up behind him, lacing her hands around his middle.

"Thanks, Luke." 

With that settled you yourself mount Chestnut, stroking his mane gently. Hank comes over to hand you a backpack. It’s heavy and you make a soft huffing noise when you hoist it onto your shoulders.

“Nails and hammers,” Hank explains. “You got it?”

“Yep,” you nod, trying to look in command of yourself with Luke’s eyes on you. “No problem.”

You feel the coarse hair of Chestnut under your gloved fingertips and squeeze your thighs to prompt him forward.  You follow after Joel in habit with Glimmer carrying Luke and Jennifer close behind. The ride to Teton is quiet, but not in a tense way, more distracted.

The backpack as it stands is a problem though because you’re wincing with every jostling step Chestnut takes. The bag is impossibly heavy and it digs into your shoulders like a too-tight bra.

You hear Luke and Jennifer quietly talking with one another on Glimmer. There are quiet giggles and you hear Luke chuckle softly. You feel irritated at Joel not taking Jennifer on his horse with him. Of course he wouldn't - Joel gets his way every time. So you've lost your chance to bond with Luke. 

You could be on the back of Glimmer with him. Your arms could be around Luke's waist right now, your thighs bracketing his. You could be feeling the warmth of his body seeping into your front. 

But you're not. 

You're stuck in the middle listening to Luke's gentle chuckle behind you and watching Joel's broad frame in front of you. As you stare at Joel with the guns on his back your mind drifts to last night. 

Have you and Joel moved past your mutual disdain for one another? You’re not quite sure.  Right now you’re irritated with him, but there’s less bite to it today. You think maybe you’re both at a polite acceptance of one another. Joel looks back every now and again, his eyes sailing to you and the group behind you. You roll your shoulders, gritting your teeth when the bag digs into the flesh there.

“’Bout halfway there,” he tells the group even though you’re well aware.

Joel is a natural leader checking in on his troops. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was in the forces before all of this. You know that he worked in construction and that he must have been around horses considering he’s such a capable rider. But that’s it.

Perhaps he and Sarah rode horses together. This thought comes to you despite knowing nothing about the girl. Nevertheless you wonder what she looked like. Was she dour and broad like Joel? You imagine her as bubbly and quick with his dark hair.

You watch as Joel slows Midnight and Chestnut quickly overtakes him, their hooves trotting along the earth until the two of you ride side by side. You’re confused and you feel Joel’s eyes on your profile and after a moment you turn to see him staring at the bag and then back to your face.

“Gimme the bag,” he orders gently.

“I’m fine,” you lie. You wonder if he can see the strain in your neck as you say this. He rolls his eyes, huffing out his nostrils.

“You need to be carrying a weapon,” Joel informs you. “Won’t do much damage to a Raider with a heavy backpack.”

He’s right. He’s not doing it to be nice; he’s doing it to be efficient. How Joel of him.

You want to fight him on it but the thought of having the heavy thing off your shoulders is too appealing. You relent as the horses come to stop beside one another. You tug off your bag, handing it to Joel who straps one of the guns to the side of it and slings it over his muscled shoulders. The bag doesn’t even look oversized on him and he carries it with no strain whatsoever.

He hands you off the large shotgun and you throw it over your shoulder, thankful for the padding in the leather sling. Without another word Joel makes a clicking noise with his tongue against his teeth and he and Midnight quickly head up the group once more. 

When you get to Teton Village and the four of you do the usual perimeter check you’re feeling bolder and a little bit restless. You feel like you want to impress Luke but can’t think of any meaningful way to do so. He’ll be upstairs hammering and nailing while you stand watch at the window like a senior citizen waiting for the postman. It’s almost embarrassing that you were brought along at all.

When you approach the outpost though you have an idea on how to appear more capable. You urge Chestnut on ahead of Joel and tie the sweet creature quickly to the tree before jogging up the large old library steps.

“I’ve got the lock,” you call over your shoulder casually. Joel is already off his horse and striding towards you with several pieces of lumber slung over his shoulder; Luke is helping Jennifer off of Glimmer. You turn back, fiddling with the code confidently.

It doesn’t work.

“Fuck.”

You try it again, the same one you were taught and then you tug. It’s still not working.

“C’mon,” you whisper angrily to yourself, “c’mon you piece of shit.”

Again the silver tabs are moved to the correct code and again you jerk it only to find it sticking fast. Is it the encroaching cool weather? Your confidence is hanging by a thread when a large ungloved hand comes out of nowhere, coming to gently bat your fingers away.

“Code changed last week,” Joel says lowly behind you.

You feel the warmth of his taller body behind you, his words stirring the hair at the back of your head. You say nothing as you watch his fingers fiddle with the new numbers, sliding them into place. You want to memorize them for next time. His arm rests beside your shoulder as he works his thick thumbs slide the silver tabs. Finally it unlocks and Joel removes the lock, placing it in his pocket.

“Sorry you couldn’t impress your little boyfriend.”

You feel your cheeks burn with humiliation despite the fact that only he and you could hear the murmured remark. He moves past you, Luke and Jennifer carry the remaining lumber. The four of you make your way into the house and wordlessly Joel heads upstairs to begin.

“That was so sweet of Joel to take the bag,” Jennifer whispers to you with hearts in her eyes. “Chivalrous.”

You don’t reply. Why shatter her illusion of who she thinks Joel is? Maybe with her affection and softness he could become that. Maybe with the right woman Joel Miller is chivalrous and romantic.

Maybe it’s just with you that he’s an antagonistic asshole.

The three of them pad up the stairs with the supplies as you stand by the door. You know you're not much use upstairs so you busy yourself writing in the log notes about the repairs. You hear the banging and the conversations upstairs as you move from the small room towards the window of the fireplace room; your eyes surveying the grey of old snow.

You yawn after a short while, bored. There’s nothing out there. There never is in town. That’s why you like Teton village so much. It’s quiet and sleepy and there’s no real danger. Perhaps it’s the large buildings or the lack of footprints. Whatever it is, you find yourself relaxing.

Joel and Jennifer jog down the stairs with Joel not passing you a glance. Jennifer gives you a thumbs up and mouths “getting more wood”. You hear the sound of Luke hammering upstairs and take a moment to consider your next moves.

This may be your only chance.

You scurry up the steps towards the far room, following the sound of Luke’s hammering. You stop when you see him, mid hammer. His back muscles ripple under his t-shirt, a line of sweat down the middle. It’s warm in this room, and judging by the repairs done they have been working quickly and efficiently.

“Hey,” you offer as you approach him, heartened when he turns and flashes you a friendly smile, wiping the sweat from his brow with the bottom of his t-shirt. You turn away at the sliver of taut abdomen that shows itself when he does. Your whole body is going tingly.

“Hey, you come to help us?”

“Oh I would just slow you down,” you say with a shy laugh, your eyes landing anywhere but his handsome face. “Every time I try to hammer the nail goes crooked.”

“You just haven’t been taught correctly then,” Luke ventures, “come here and I’ll give you a lesson.”

You try to keep yourself from jogging over, attempting to appear casual. He holds his hammer out to you as you approach.

"Here.”

You take it from him, facing the sill of the window that he’s been working on. You nearly jolt when you feel his hands land on your shoulders. He notices your flinch, his hands flying off of you at the first contact.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry just distracted,” you insist, feeling your cheeks heat. “Keep going. I’m fine.”

Luke’s hands go to your wrists now, placing the nail in your left fingers and positioning it on the sill.

“You just need to start with it straight. Lotta people angle it without thinking and…”

You know that Luke’s talking more but you’re having trouble focusing because you feel him pressing up behind you, his hand sliding over yours and helping you to hold the nail in place.

“A lot of people make the mistake of hitting the nail shallowly a bunch of times instead of once or twice with harsh blows,” he explains. You feel a warmth go through your body as Luke's curls over yours. He’s so tall, so gentle, so earnest.  You feel his voice rumbling through his chest into your back.

He places the hammer in your right hand before he covers your hand with his effectively holding each of your hands like you're a puppet. He positions the nail in the wood once more, bringing your hand and the hammer back. You’re completely boneless, letting yourself melt into his arms.

"So if you hold it-"

Whatever thought Luke had dies at the sound of Joel's rasping voice behind you. 

"What're you doin'?"

You and Luke glance over your shoulders to see Joel scowling. He's got a stack of the remaining lumber over his shoulder. Jennifer is beside him, looking between Luke and Joel in confusion, a box of nails in her grip. 

Luke still has his arms around yours, guiding you. Both sets of arms are raised midway. It looks like you’re in some strange dance routine involving hammers and nails. Joel drops the lumber to the floor with a thud, his gaze icily on Luke.

"I was just teaching her how to put up the frame," Luke explains with a soft tone. You recognize that he's a gentle man, not one for confrontation. Joel intimidates him; he likely has since he met him. For whatever reason Joel is especially cold to Luke.

"This ain't a teachin' moment," Joel all but growls, his larger frame barreling towards the two of you. "We're here to do a job and get it done fast so we don’t draw attention."

You feel Luke shrinking back, arms lowering, but his frame still rests behind you as if he's worried about leaving you entirely. 

"I wanted to learn how to do the repairs," you explain trying to be diplomatic. 

"S'not why you were brought," Joel bites back.

He shocks you when he reaches out to take your wrist, tugging you away from Luke. You stagger towards Joel, eyes wide almost barreling into his chest. He holds you tightly, looking down into your face.

"You're here to keep watch while we do this. That’s your job."

His voice is harsh but his eyes are gentle. It's a confusing dichotomy that has you careening from one emotion to the next. You settle on anger when you feel Jennifer and Luke watching you. Your cheeks burn with humiliation at being talked to like this in front of them and you shoot a glare at Joel before you wrench your wrist his grip.

“Let’s break for lunch,” Jennifer suggests, noting the tension.

“Good idea,” Luke says with a smile.

Everyone waits for Joel’s eventual nod before the four of you head downstairs to the log room.

There are thankfully enough chairs because you can’t imagine the awkwardness of standing around eating after everything that happened. Right now you want to sink into your chair and disappear for a few hours.

What the fuck is Joel’s problem?

Jennifer thankfully starts chatting to fill the silence and pulls out the meals from her bag. Two sandwiches each, a thermos of coffee and what appears to be fresh brownies along with the usual water and apples.

Joel goes off for a moment, muttering about feeding the horses. The three of you take a seat around the table, focused on the sweet-smelling brownies.

“Those look so good,” Luke says when Jennifer pulls them out. “I love baked goods.”

“You should try her stuff,” Jennifer says motioning to you with a wink. “Everyone in town says how good her baking is.”

You could kiss Jennifer for the way she’s trying to make you look good in front of Luke. You make a mental note to do the same for her and Joel. Jennifer has many good redeeming qualities and Joel just simply doesn’t see them.

“S’not that good,” you say with a shy little giggle as you bite into your sandwich.

“It is so!” Jennifer insists, unwrapping her own.  

“Guess I’ll have to see for myself,” Luke says grinning and taking a sip of his coffee. You don’t say anything but you shift slightly when Joel comes to take the empty seat next to you. He reaches across you to grab one of the sandwiches, peeling back the waxy cloth that holds it.

The room goes quiet again, a side effect of Joel-Miller-iti; because whenever he enters a room it goes deadly quiet. You wonder if he was like this before – was he always so gruff? So grumpy? How could Tommy be so opposite to him?

You wish it was Tommy with the rest of you today. Tommy with his easy laugh and warm countenance. You expect the rest of lunch to go in silence when all of a sudden it’s Joel who breaks it.

"You're good at window repair, Jenny. You must’ve done a lot.”

Jennifer flushes prettily and thanks him in a voice that feels a lot more breathy than necessary.

For some reason this innocuous comment from Joel has your fingers curling into the wood table. Your leg starts to twitch as you rock your leg up and down restlessly on the ball of your foot.

You spent weeks trying to earn Joel’s praise as a patrol partner. You were dutiful and listened and tried your best and he gave you nothing back unless his cock was in your mouth. Jennifer has been working for thirty minutes and he gives her his praise so freely?

If he wasn't sitting beside you, you would be fixing him with your most glowering stare. You wish you weren’t so shy, so quiet. You’d give him a piece of your mind next week on patrols if you had the guts.

“I grew up doing repairs on our house with my brothers,” Jennifer answers and you know she’s beside herself with all this attention from Joel. He’s got his eyes fixed on her and his normally scowling face is brighter, his mouth in a polite smile.

“You had good teachers.”

“I taught them, actually,” she smiles brightly.

“Impressive.”

You continue to bop your leg, the feeling distracting you from your frustration. You hasten a glance at Luke who hasn’t so much as glanced up from his lunch since the meal started. He’s shy like you, quiet and introspective especially when Joel is around. You think that’s why you enjoy his company so much. You feel like you want him to feel included.

“You did construction too, right Luke?”

“Yep,” he nods, swallowing before taking one of the brownies and breaking it apart in his hands. “Cabinetry especially.

“Cool,” you offer awkwardly. You wish you knew more about the topic but your interest and acumen in that field is limited. Your knee continues to bop anxiously as you try to think of ways to get the conversation to continue.

“I was just learning flooring and trim carpentry when the outbreak started,” he continues as you nod along as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Oh, wow.”

Jennifer keeps sneaking looks across the table at Joel and if your hunch is correct he’s probably doing the same to her. Despite your previous annoyance with him the thought warms you, that perhaps there is a mutual attraction for your friend and Joel. You wonder if you should warn her about Joel’s temper but decide that Joel may not show that side of himself to her if he can help it.

After what you’ve learned about Joel and Sarah, there is a softness inside you that maybe thinks Jennifer could be good for Joel. You resolve to do whatever you can to make it work for them. Joel isn’t your friend, but Jennifer is. And if she wants Joel you’ll do all you can to make it happen.

You almost yelp when Joel's hand grips your knee, holding your restless leg in place. He leans towards you, voice dropping a register and sliding into a soft rasp. 

"Stop shakin' your damn leg. You’re knockin’ over the coffees."

You’re doing no such thing, but part of you thinks he misses ordering you around. He must like the sense of control it gives him. He misses being a big shot and you’re the closest thing he has to a professional underling. All your kind sentiments about him go flying out the window. You were naïve to think there could be a possible friendship there. Hell, not even a friendship – just a respectful mutual tolerance.

You feel an embarrassed flush cross your features, pulling back from Joel’s touch. His fingers slowly unlatch from your knee and his palm lingers a moment before being removed entirely. 

“You do a lot of repairs before all this?” Jennifer asks Joel. You surprise yourself by listening, intrigued for more information on pre-outbreak Joel.

“Yep.”

He takes a long swig of his coffee before wiping at his mouth and speaking before Jennifer has the chance to ask more follow up personal questions.

“Alright, let’s finish it up. I’ll see you two up there.”

He doesn’t spare anyone a glance before he’s on his feet, heading up the stairs. Luke joins him moments later, leaving you and Jennifer sitting across from one another.

When she’s certain the men are upstairs she looks beside herself with delight and leans forward conspiratorially.

“Do you think Joel was flirting?” she whispers, her light eyes dancing. “I mean, Luke is way better at repairs but he didn’t say anything nice to him.”

“Definitely,” you reason, looking thoughtful. “He doesn’t really talk much normally, so I think that’s a good sign.”

“I’m gonna ride back with him,” Jennifer says hiding a giggle behind her hand.

“Go for it,” you say, unable to stop from smiling. You can’t help but enjoy her excitement.

“I wonder what he kisses like,” she muses, her eyes dreamy. You shrug your shoulders and she fixes you with that same sisterly look. “When’s the last time you had a really good make out?”

“Uh…” you trail off, your cheeks heating. “We can talk about it later. He’ll be pissed off if you don’t get up there soon. Don’t wanna blow your chances now.”

Jennifer gives you a grateful squeeze on the shoulder as she passes, calling up to Joel and Luke that she’s just grabbing some extra nails. You don’t hear their reply because you’ve dragged yourself to the window, your eyes scanning.

You hear them nailing upstairs, the muffled sound of their talking. As always you're on the edge, forever on the outside. You chew at the inside of your cheek in irritation, your eyes scanning the outside.

It's not long after that the three come back downstairs dressed for travel. Jennifer is pulling on her gloves and chatting with Luke about the rumors of heavy snow and Joel is carrying his bag with the tools over one shoulder. He fixes you with an expectant stare, brows raised.

"See anythin’?"

"Nope. Would've said something if I did." 

Joel stares at you, unblinking and you're confused when you see a small curl of his lip in amusement. 

"S'go." 

The four of you trudge towards the waiting horses. Chestnut looks excited to see you and you grin as you approach. You press your forehead to his cheek, stroking down his flank as the rest of the group begins to pick a horse.

"I can ride with someone again," Jennifer offers and you watch with a touch of amusement as she subtly steps towards Joel who has just climbed atop Midnight. 

"Nah, let's switch it up," Joel says gruffly. "That way s’fair for everyone."

Luke looks your way and you hold in a nervous grin. He’s going to make the same offer to you that he did to Jennifer because he’s a gentleman that way.

The thought has your stomach fluttering excitedly. You think of how your arms will wrap around his middle, how you’ll find an excuse to press your cheek to his shoulder blade. How your thighs will-

"Get on."

Your brows knit together in confusion as you gaze up to your right to see Joel on his horse, holding out a gloved hand in front of your face. His curls fall into his forehead as he tilts towards you, mouth in a firm line.

What the fuck is he doing? Why is he trying to fuck this up for you?

“S’go,” Joel tells you, shaking an impatient outstretched hand from atop of his horse. He looks like he’s irritated out of his mind as you make your decision.

"Oh, uh," you glance at the disappointment in Luke's face before turning back to Joel, trying to hide your irritation. 

It makes sense after all; Luke already had to ride with Jennifer. But a part of you had been hoping to spend a bit of time with him on the horse. It's been a long while since a man intrigued you like Luke.

"We don't have all day," Joel snipes at your hesitation. "Let's go."

Jennifer strides forward, taking Chestnut’s bridle from you. You hand it over before looking back up at Joel who waits with one hand on his saddle horn, the other still at your eye level.

You clench your jaw and take his hand, hooking your foot into the footing of Midnight’s saddle and feeling the muscle of Joel’s arm as you grip his bicep and he pulls you astride the horses back behind him. 

He shifts, giving you room to slide behind the saddle. You do so, holding in  a sigh as you position yourself atop the strong animal. You feel Midnight's ribs under your legs, wider than Chestnut's. He's a pitch black mare with a coat that currently glistens. He's always been a rather imposing horse, hesitant around new people.  Riding him is like being in a room alone with Joel – intimidating.

"Hold on," Joel instructs before clicking his tongue, encouraging Midnight to start walking. The horse jerks to a start, causing you to dig your legs into Midnight’s side. You’re lucky the horse doesn’t kick you off for it.

You look over your shoulder to see Jennifer on Chestnut a few paces back. You give her a look that shows how displeased you are to be with Joel, replete with an eye roll. She returns it with a weak smile before her focus is back on the trail. Luke is looking off into the surrounding area, his eyes scanning for threats as he sits straight-backed on Glimmer.

You turn back to face ahead of you, displeased.

At first you barely touch Joel, hands resting on your thighs as the four of you bob along the trail. No one is talking now. The air is filled with an unexpected tension that you can’t for the life of you understand.

Your front is pressed against Joel's back, squeezing gently to make sure you don't slide off.  Midnight makes a jostling step off the path before righting himself. It sends you slipping back, your thighs digging into the horse’s side and your hands going to grab Joel lightly by his jacket.

"Unless you wanna fall off I suggest you hold tighter n'that." Joel bites off. 

You know he’s correct. Sitting this awkwardly is only a burden on Midnight. Your arms snake around Joel’s waist and hold there below his sternum. His chest is broad, his arms muscled, his thighs strong. Everything about him is masculine and tough. All but the soft look of his dark brown curls threaded with grey which curl under his ears just slightly.

Despite everything you've experienced with Joel, actually physically touching him is surreal. You know the feel of his cock in your palm and on your tongue, the taste of his come. But now you can explore the rest of his body first with your eyes and then your hands. 

Up this close to Joel you see the freckles on his golden skin and the way he holds himself stiffly straight in front of you. He’s so broad, his entire disposition that of protector. You can understand why Ellie feels safe with him.  

You marvel at the smooth sensation of his jacket under your fingertips, the warmth of his body. This close to Joel you inhale the scent of leather and homemade lavender soap from Hannah's. You could almost laugh that you both use the same scent mostly because Joel Miller smelling like flowers is an amusing thought.

You pass through a different path on your way back as you always do and are irritated with the sight of the overturned trees. The roots are ugly, twisted things that poke out from the light dusting of snow.

“Shit,” Joel mutters to himself.

Midnight rears back sharply and in a panic your arms wrap more tightly around Joel’s waist, suddenly anxious. You're surprised when Joel's left hand goes to cover your grip knotted against his middle, holding you in place.

Joel grunts out a grumbled whoa boy before tugging Midnight’s reigns with his right hand to get him to obey. His hand is big, warming you despite the gloves you both wear.

"Careful," Joel calls over his shoulder to Jennifer and Luke. "Some big roots here." 

The two of them call out that they've heard him. You twist to look over your shoulder and watch them navigate Chestnut and Glimmer over the uprooted tree. Luckily it doesn’t take long before the four of you are back on the path heading home with no more obstacles in the foreseeable future.

You glance behind you to see Jennifer looking miserable on Glimmer. She looks so disappointed and you want to slap Joel upside the head for missing how obviously into him she is. You think of earlier, when Joel observed her skills and an idea comes to you.

“Hey Jennifer?”

“Yeah?”

“I really like your jacket,” you fumble for a way to make this sound natural.

Jennifer shoots you a confused look, curious as to where you’re going with this. “Uh, thanks.”

“Did you get it from town?”

“I made it,” she tells you, the silent you already know that, reflected in her gaze.

“Wow, you’re so gifted. You made those amazing curtains in your place too, right?”

“I did.”

“You’re so good at making stuff,” you gush. “Especially clothes. You make men's clothes too, right Jennifer? Like jackets?"

"Uh yeah," she says slowly before her confusion fades, realizing what you're getting at. She smiles cheekily at you. "Yeah, I can make jackets, jeans, t-shirts, all that stuff." 

“You’re so talented at it,” you gush. Luke is looking over your way and you feel the need to really drive it home. “I mean, with the holidays coming up I might just want to get a dress from you.”

You have never worn a dress in your life. Not unless your mother forced you into them as a child. But you need to sell this idea that Jennifer is a domestic goddess. You’ll leave out the part about her baking.

“I could make us matching ones,” she says with a wink. You hold in a giggle at the thought.

“I’d like to see that,” Luke offers shyly from behind Jennifer who shoots a delighted look in your direction complete with dramatically mouthed ‘he likes you!’. You flush at the attention, your lips pursing into a pleased grin.

You feel Joel's trunk stiffen in your arms and his hand drops from over yours. He replaces it on the reigns. 

"Keep it down," Joel hisses over his shoulder at you and the others. "Unless you were hopin’ to guide  Raiders our way?"

The two of them go quiet and you cringe internally. You don't know why but you suppose it's because Joel is your patrol partner. A reflection on you in some ways and he's coming off like a major asshole right now. Your arms loosen around his middle finding that the horse is now on smoother terrain.

You glance over at Jennifer about to give her a sympathetic look but she shoots you an exaggerated eyebrow waggle and mouths the words "still sexy" with a head tilt at Joel. You barely suppress a surprised giggle, irritating Joel further. 

"What's so fuckin’ funny?"

"Nothing." 

------------------------------------

TAGLIST:

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[tinyreviews]

Tips to increase tension:

1. Establish Clear Goals: Establish clear, compelling goals that are relatable to readers. The more readers care about whether the character succeeds or fails, the higher the tension.

2. Time Pressure: Introduce time constraints or deadlines. This creates a sense of urgency and raises the stakes.

3. Obstacles: Place obstacles and conflicts in the path of your characters, both internal and external. These challenges should grow progressively more difficult, making the reader wonder if and how the characters will overcome them.

4. Unpredictability: Surprise your readers with unexpected twists or developments. Subvert their expectations, but ensure that these surprises are rooted in the story's internal logic.

5. Character Flaws and Growth: Give your characters flaws and weaknesses that they must confront and overcome. As they evolve, readers become more interested in their journeys and outcomes.

6. Foreshadowing: Skillful foreshadowing can build anticipation. Drop subtle hints or clues about future events or conflicts to keep readers guessing.

7. Moral Dilemmas: Present characters with challenging moral choices. Preferably, all choices have high prices, making the reader unsure of which choice to root for.

8. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of telling readers about the tension, show it through the characters' actions, thoughts, and emotions. Let readers experience the tension alongside the characters.

9. Dialogue and Conflict Resolution: Use dialogue to create conflicts between characters. Tense conversations can reveal hidden motivations and escalate the overall tension.

10. Setting and Atmosphere: Craft the setting and atmosphere to complement the mood you want to convey. Dark, foreboding settings enhance danger and tension, while serene settings provide a contrast.

11. Cliffhangers: End chapters or sections on cliffhangers, leaving readers eager to know what happens next. However, use this sparingly to maintain its impact.

12. Relatable Characters: Ensure that readers can relate to and care about your characters. This emotional connection amplifies the tension as readers become invested in their fates.

[yearningforunity]

Black Student Fighting Back 1958

Johnny Gray, 15, punches a white student during a scuffle in Little Rock, Arkansas. Johnny and his sister, Mary (standing behind him), were en route to their segregated school when the two whites in the photo ordered them to get off the sidewalk.

[midnightdjarin]

imagine training with simon riley😫 (simon riley x female reader)

You fix your form for what seems like the tenth time, letting your fists fly against the punching bag in a way that doesn’t hurt your hands or shoulders.

Simons deep voice rumbles behind you, “Atta girl, love. Much better.”

You take a deep breath and drop your arms, fighting the blush that wants to creep up on your face. Simon loves to mess with you like this. Nothing makes him happier than seeing you all flustered.

You’re still out of breath when you say, “This would be a great time to, ya know,”, you take another deep breath, “sweep me off my feet. Carry me bridal style. All of the gentlemanly things”, you wipe sweat off of your forehead.

He has the nerve to scoff, “Didn’t peg you as the damsel in distress type.”

He hands you a water bottle and you take a long swig, “I am a damsel and I am very distressed, actually.”

“What if I give you something if you go one more round?”

You roll your eyes, “Like what, true loves kiss?”

Simon has the audacity to sound smug, “Is that what you want, love?”

“Shut up, Simon”, you toss the water bottle to the side and get into your starting position.

You’re about to start swinging, but you feel Simon’s presence move behind you. His large hands move to your waist, positioning you differently.

You expect him to let go, but his hands stay firmly placed on your waist, “Simon?”

He sounds unbothered when he responds, “What?”

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you.”

“How is this helping me, exactly?”

Simon leans forward, his voice is heard directly by your ear, “What’s wrong love? Somethin’ distracting you?”

You look down and clear your throat, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

His right hand leaves your waist to grab your chin, forcing you to look over your shoulder at him. You can’t help but notice the way his eyes travel to your lips. They linger there for a second before his thumb gently swipes across your bottom lip.

He leans forward devastatingly slow, his mask nearly making contact with your skin when he whispers, “Your form still needs work.”

Simon then leans back, removing himself completely from you. You feel his warmth escape immediately as you snap out of your daze.

What a tease.

You scoff and shake your head, once again readying yourself to take out all of your frustration on the stupid blue punching bag.

Simons hand stops you once again, “Let me show you.”

You step back, grateful for the break. He moves in front of you, and you can’t help but notice how nice his back muscles look in his black compression shirt. Every part of him is defined and sculpted. It’s ridiculous, really.

He starts to strike the punching bag. Swift, fast punches that you can barely keep up with. The way his muscles move is almost mesmerizing.

“I need to train in here more often”, you thought.

You snap out of your ogling when he finishes and turns towards you. He looks like he didn’t even break a sweat or bat an eye.

Simon looks at you, “You see? That’s how it’s done correctly.”

You shrug, “You did alright. Your form could use some work.”

[greenandsorrow]

"Boytoy"

WARNINGS; 18+, shameless smut, ken x fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, praise k!nk, size k!nk, virgin!ken, switch!reader, sub!ken, dom!ken, the plot doesn't connect with the movie, kinda slow burn, grammar mistakes

Part 2

"his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room"

~wildest dreams, taylor swift ~

Y/n's pov:

Y/n wakes up in the morning, feeling groggy and disoriented.

No one can find out about the encounter she had last night with her Ken doll. (Not that anyone would believe her if she were to tell them!) Still, she certainly wants to keep Ken's access to the real world secret from her father, because his company's policy is to put the dolls in boxes and send them back to Barbieland once and for all.

''Her Ken doll'' sounds wrong. It sounds wrong because Ken had looked like more than just a pretty object. The previous night, she realises, she met a real man, with real feelings and real desires (as oblivious as he had looked). She almost makes herself blush thinking about their small make-out session. Y/n can't deny just how attracted she's to Ken, he's meant to be perfect lookin' after all. But his character had managed to shine through as well, energetic and enthusiastic, but also emotional and in need of constant reassurance. "If that doesn't make him real, I don't know what does."

"Does that all mean that I want to see him again? He's probably not coming back, I literally kicked him out like a dog..."

These are some of the thoughts that preoccupy her mind as she's showering, having breakfast and as she's getting ready. What pulls her out of it, is in fact, Ken.

As soon as she opens the door of her apartment y/n steps on something and looking down she spots...her old Ken doll, the one she accidentally put in her backpack yesterday (also the one she still has to repay for years of ignorance, the one that kissed her with a need and held her with a desperation that made her knees all wobbly). However, right now he isn't a six foot tall man, but a plastic toy y/n is once more putting in her backpack.

~~

Ken's pov:

Ken wakes up to the sound of someone calling his name. To his distaste, that someone is not sweet y/n but Barbie. He has to get up for another "perfect" day at the beach.

It takes great effort to go through his everyday tasks (greeting Barbie, smiling at Barbie, complimenting Barbie), especially when the only thing he can focus on is the memory of the moments he shared with y/n. He thinks of consulting Weird Barbie, but he changes his mind as quickly as he made it up.

Throughout his day, Ken is trying to only think about how y/n's plush lips fitted perfectly, locked flawlessly against his own, about her fiery gaze, a gaze that was directed to him (maybe even caused by him). At the same time, he's doing everything within his power to keep out of his mind the dryness of her last words. She had asked him to leave. Did that mean that y/n didn't want him as a boyfriend?

Something is changing inside him, he can feel it. He wants to meet y/n again, prove her he's worthy of her attention. She had made him sweat just with her closeness, she had made him shiver merely by using her hands (small, delicate hands in comparison to his big, manly ones) and she had also made him gasp when she had deepened their kisses.

Ken is determined to return the favour, though he's not entirely sure how. He's feeling the primal need to hear her repeat his name over and over, while... what?

Ken's shorts continue to bother him all the while he's making these thoughts. And so they were bothering him last night.

~~

Both y/n's and Ken's day goes on and on, seemingly endless. They're both feeling an intense sense of restlessness. The Barbies are often catching Ken zoning out with a starstruck expression clouding his blue gaze, while y/n's mind is constantly putting together the dirtiest of fantasies instead of paying any attention to her classes.

But there's also an underlying question they both try to push away. Can this happen again? Can Ken just wake up in the real world like it's no big deal? And even if it does happen tonight, what are they to do?

~~

Y/n's pov:

Y/n returns to her apartment at 22:30. She's exhausted, but has to admit her first day as a university student wasn't that bad. Y/n met a group of three other first-years that seemed like nice company. They had actually just had a group study session at the library.

As soon as she locks the door behind her, y/n opens her backpack, taking out Ken and gently placing him on her small couch. She then proceeds to have a hot, refreshing shower before ordering pizza or something for dinner (her mom would be rather disappointed).

~~

Ken's pov:

"Good evening Barbie!" he calls for the seventeenth time (that's how many Barbie dolls y/n is in possession of).

Ken is finally free of all his duties. He can't help but let out a giggle at the thought of meeting y/n again. But when the giggle leaves his mouth, he isn't smiling. He can't be sure whether y/n liked men that giggled. He craved for this adorable, sweet human to see him as a man, the way she probably saw the men he noticed on some of the posters that were decorating her bedroom.

With a great deal of effort and patience, Ken was able to fall asleep, while wishing with every fiber of his being he would wake up somewhere close to his dear, fingers crossed.

~~

"Ken...Ken hun, wake up"

"Hmm, y/n..." The way he pronounced her name in his half asleep and half awake state, caused one of y/n's giggles to surface. Of course Ken fully wakes up at the sound of such a clear, angelic sound.

"It's good to see you beautiful" he tells her in a too casual short of way, in order to mask his uncontainable joy (and pride) that he made it back to her.

Ken then yawns, a satisfied grin spreading on his face as he's standing up from the couch, looking down at y/n. Y/h has just come out of the shower and she's currently wearing nothing but an oversized tee and a pair of comfy panties with a matching bra hidden underneath.

Y/n's eyes widen momentarily, making Ken feel suddenly self conscious about his behaviour.

"So you're not angry at me?!"

"What-

why would I ever be angry at you, y/n?"

He definitely isn't the epitome of intelligence.

"You wanna sit?", she asks motioning to the couch. And so they sit in awkward silence.

Ken has never felt so nervous in his entire existence. Before going to sleep, he had come up with the perfect plan so that y/n would let him stay with her instead of tossing him out again. He was supposed to ask her to have a pyjama party with him, but now that they're sitting next to each other, arms and calves touching, the only thing he can focus on is his sweaty palms.

"You're really handsome you know", y/n mutters and she immediately regrets it, blushing.

On the other hand, Ken, who had never been called "handsome" before, physically feels his chest swelling up with pride.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." (yesyesyes she thinks he's handsome)

"Of course you do...

I just wanted to say, about last night, I can't stop thinking about it Ken, and I can't stop thinking about you either. I know that in the past I failed to treat you... in a decent enough way?? but I want to try again."

For a while Ken doesn't speak, not because he didn't like what he heard, but because he's taking it all in. He is in awe that y/n deems him important enough to have a place in her mind for him -hopefully in her heart as well- (Ken is very sentimental about that stuff).

"I had never done anything like last night y/n. That doesn't mean it was bad! It felt...good actually... and- and I've been thinking..."

That must be the hardest thing Ken has ever done. But the sincere and kind way y/n is looking at him gives him strength to continue.

"...now that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, we should have a sleepover."

"We are what?!"

"I thought we-"

Ken can't go on as he's once again aware of the heavy weight settling in his chest, making him cast his gaze downward, but y/n, remembering the way things work back in Barbieland, understands the meaning behind Ken's words.

"I didn't mean for it to sound like that sweetheart. I guess, I can't believe it, that's all. I just am too excited to be your girlfriend!"

And she's speaking the truth. She just has to explain, or better, show Ken, how girlfriends and boyfriends' sleepovers work in the real world.

She reaches for his hand, giving it a squeeze and their eyes meet. Ken is wearing the biggest, most smug and boyish smile, making y/n smile too in return.

Ken is very pleased with the way things have worked out so far. Y/n is *his girlfriend*. Y/n is *his human* and that makes him the luckiest Ken ever created.

"So, are we gonna have that sleepover?"

"Sure! It starts now!", y/n says with a genuine excitement that makes her y/e/c eyes sparkle. At that moment she forgets about ordering dinner, about the consequences of her actions, Mattel and her father. She's determined to spend the night with her new special boyfriend, no questions asked.

~~

And so they spend a good two hours talking about anything and everything. While y/n is showering Ken with questions about Barbieland and her favourite childhood companions, the Barbies (Ken has no problem answering, he loves how y/n seems to hang on every word he says), the blonde man also has some questions for his human. (he has to know; does she like the beach?)

But, as their silly conversation goes on, Ken (and y/n, she's just hiding it better) finds himself staring at her lips. This time, they're glossy (she had applied lip balm after her shower). His mouth is practically watering and his chest is beginning to heave.

"Ken are you okay sweetheart?" y/n asks him in her most innocent voice, placing a hand on his (thick) thigh and she swears she felt the muscles there tensing involuntarily under her palm.

"Can you-

can we do it again?"

"Honey, please be more specific", she almost feels bad, teasing him like that (and he has seen nothing yet).

"Sorry y/n (he does get butterflies from all the petnames). I meant, like yesterday."

He places a hand on her arm, gripping it slightly. Y/n is smiling at herself, he's so eager.

"You remember yesterday? We kissed, but...like a lot...Let's do it again."

His voice while uttering the last sentence sounded grave but Ken is needy, too needy to hide the impatience in his eyes.

Without another word, y/n's hands search for and find a place at Ken's platinum blonde hair and then she places herself on his lap, before he even manages to register what is happening. Out of reflex, his own hands are on her waist in no time, so as to prevent her from losing her balance.

Tonight, the kisses that they share are rougher, lips getting swollen and reddish fast.

In a moment of bravery from Ken's side, he fights for dominance with his tongue, wins it, causing y/n to moan in his mouth. The vibration of her trembling moan travels all the way to his core, resulting in him to shiver.

Soon after that, y/n breaks the kiss, desperate for oxygen. Ken whines pathetically at the loss of contact. He looks so hot like this. His bare chest is covered in sweat, his expression is almost adorable as he tries to slow down his breathing, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his forehead.

When y/n leans in for a second round, she's hungry, tasting Ken again and again, until she notices he has begun to shift beneath her, in a very uncomfortable short of way. His breaths have also become more shallow and quick.

Concluding Ken has zero knowledge regarding the human body is easy for y/n, but that doesn't stop her from taking off her t-shirt, throwing it behind the sofa. Ken's blush deepens but he's unable to take his gaze off y/n's full breasts, roundness enhanced by the bra she has on. His hands are roaming her back, nails emitting shudders and mewls out of her.

Y/n on top of him, glistering with sweat and holding on to him by flatting her palms on his chest (she can feel his heartbeat beneath her fingertips), so small in his arms, so light, makes him whimper with need and buck his hips against her, well, core.

He groans loudly.

How is it possible? Ken looks so irritated and troubled because of his growing erection.

Can this mean he never had one before, while living in Barbieland?

Y/n attempts to readjust her position on his lap, but the firm grip on her hips is preventing her from moving. Ken looks deeply into her eyes, pupils blown.

"Y/n...wait...just wait a min-

a- ah, something is happening to me."

Now he's a panting mess, wearing a concerned expression, that quickly turns into embarrassment when y/n explains to him that it's all normal and no, nothing is wrong with him.

"But why is it growing and it hurts too!!", the whines that escape his mouth are only making y/n wetter by the minute.

She cups his face in both hands, calming him down, before helping him out of his flannel. Y/n then gets off him, planting her knees in the carpet in front of the couch. Ken immediately averts his gaze away from her, preferring to look at the ceiling.

"Ken, please lift your hips for me" Ken is hesitant, hesitant to be seen completely naked in front of y/n, but he trusts her.

Y/n manages to get him out of his beach shorts and underwear, his already too hard cock springing free, accompanied by a breathy moan coming from Ken.

Y/n almost gasps at the sight of it. He's a doll, he's literally perfect, even his member. To be honest, y/n had never given a blowjob in her life, but she had collected enough information on how to do it and right now she wants nothing more than to please Ken.

"Y/n, love, what is happening...mmfff"

Ken moans as his beloved girlfriend starts to kitten lick his tip, dripping with precum. His face is as red as a tomato and he's doing his best at trying to hide it behind the cushions.

Y/n steals glimpses of him through her lasses as she raps her soft lips around his thickness, holding the base of his now throbbing cock with one hand. Ken's head is laying on the back of the sofa, his Adam's apple visible, bobbing up and down with each sound that leaves his mouth.

Ken almost cries at the feeling, bringing a hand to muffle a series of moans he really isn't proud of. But he can't help it, he's too overwhelmed by the sensation of y/n's tongue swirling around his tip and then massaging his balls with her hand.

And when y/n finally stops teasing him, only to start bobbing her head up and down, Ken audibly gulps before fisting a handful of her hair.

She monetarily takes him out of her mouth with a loud pop. She's now caressing his thighs, throwing praises his way, in hopes he'll stop acting so shameful.

"Babe the sounds you make are driving me insane. You are so big, you are being so good Ken." At the sound of all those praises his dick gets impossibly harder, twitching with want. Y/n is entranced by the way his tip's color has darkened and it's literally pulsating.

Ken's hips have also started trembling, indicating he's super close. Y/n decides to use her tongue on him for a little longer, satisfied when she notices his white knuckles and protruding veins as he's gripping the pillows around him for dear life.

But when she feels him about to explode, she takes him in her hand, giving him a few pumps. Ken is soon whimpering and squirming under her touch, calling her name over and over like a prayer. He comes hard all over y/n's hand and his stomach.

When sure that he's emptied, y/n kisses his knee, then the insides of his thighs, all the way up to his neck and lips. Ken accepts the kiss, melting into y/n's warmth like always. He's still panting when he gives her the heartiest embrace, inhaling the sweet smell of her hair and whispering"I love you" so quietly y/n barely hears it.

~~

After y/n takes the time to explain to Ken some basic human biology stuff, she brings a wet towel from the bathroom, cleaning the mess they made on his stomach and thighs. Ken is looking at her with a newfound adoration and he's thanking her for making him feel so good 'till they fall asleep at her bed, together, cuddled up.

~~

notes~~

So, this was part 2 of my Ken fic! Definitely more spicy than the first one. I decided to make this into four parts. It's not meant to be perfect, but I'm trying to make it somehow cohesive. Also, I did think this was going to turn out just a straightforward smut, but I'm ending up adding some emotion to it too. Do check part 1 if you haven't already!

Byeeee 😊

Tags; @notleclerc @hope4rain19

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[leavemeslowly]

Eddie and Susie is the slowest of the slow burns 🥵🥵🥵🥵 they are attracted to each other but they don’t notice because of the whole business thing

[andreafmn]

SPEAK MASTERLIST

Status: Ongoing

Mood Board

Summary: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

All my stories on Tumblr are written as reader inserts. For original characters, you can read the same stories in AO3 or Wattpad under the same username. For any requests, leave me a message in my inbox or by DM. For tagging, make sure your account allows your username to be tagged, or else you’ll still miss out.

[rk1stars]

SHAMELESS. - K.SN

pairing . situationship! sunoo x fem reader, warnings . fighting, mentions of blood, suggestive ending, cursing, sunoo is a tiny teeny bit toxic. word count. 658 | music playing - shameless by camila cabello. | authors note . very different from my usual writing but i hope you like it!

“Sunoo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” As you approach the scene, you see the man lying on the floor with his nose bleeding, apparently knocked out. Without hesitation, you grab Sunoo and quickly bring him inside the nearest bathroom, making sure to close the door behind you.

After spending a long and tiring week at work, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with your sweet and caring situationship, Sunoo. You planned to have a fun and exciting evening together, filled with laughter and joy. However, things didn't go as planned, and the night took a turn for the worse. You're not sure what went wrong, but everything started going downhill, and the happy atmosphere quickly turned into a tense and uncomfortable one.

You were at a bar, feeling parched and in need of a refreshing drink. While ordering your drink, you noticed a strange man approaching you with a creepy smirk on his features.

“Hey beautiful, you wanna come to my place.?”

As you stood there, you suddenly felt a hand on your waist, causing you to feel uncomfortable. Without hesitation, you pushed his hand away, making it clear that you did not appreciate the unwanted contact.

“I’m not interested. Please don't touch me”

“Ay, don't be so difficult. I know you want this.”

Before you could react, you saw him thrown on the ground while your situationship was punching him in the face over and over again.

“Sunoo! Stop!”

As Sunoo doesn't stop despite your words, you take his hand and lead him towards the nearest bathroom. You guide him through the crowd, gently pushing aside anyone in your path, until you finally reach the bathroom door. Once inside, you make sure to lock the door behind you and check that the room is empty. You then turn to Sunoo and scold him.

“Sunoo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” yelling at him.

“He was touching you. What do you expect me to do?! Just stand there?” his tongue poking through his cheek.

“Yeah! But not punch him to death?!”

Sunoo was feeling a surge of anger and frustration. He had been putting on a facade of being sweet and caring towards you all this time, but the moment he let his guard down and showed his true emotions, you reacted with anger. He couldn't help but feel like his efforts to be kind to you were being taken for granted, and that his true self was not being accepted.

So many mornings he woke up confused with full of dreams of you and you’re treating him like this?

As Sunoo leaned in closer to you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of intimidation wash over you. Despite his usually sweet and gentle gaze, his eyes now appeared sharp and piercing. It was as though his entire demeanor had shifted, leaving you feeling uneasy and unsure of what to expect next. The intensity of his stare was palpable, and with each passing moment, you found yourself growing more and more anxious in his presence.

The music blasting in the background you felt the intensity of the lyrics.

“Distance, inches in between us.”

“I want you to give in, I want you to give in.”

“Weakness, tension in between us.”

“I just wanna give in.”

“Cat got your tongue? I’ll show you what the fuck I'm doing.”

As you walk alongside Sunoo, you notice him looking at the strap of your short dress. He reaches out and gently takes hold of it. Looking up at you, he mumbles a quiet "May I?" making you nod hesitantly.

Though you felt a bit intimidated, you desperately needed him.

You became acutely aware of your own breathing as you felt a sudden hitch in it. Simultaneously, you noticed that the strap of your dress was gradually slipping down, exposing your shoulder and threatening to unveil more.

maybe you didn’t mind this side of him.

tl

@cholexc

[holylulusworld]

BFG (3)

Summary: He’s new to town and just your type…

Pairing: Reacher x Plussized!Reader

Warnings: size kink, flirty reader, objectification of Reacher, language, violence, flirting, fluff, mentions of animal cruelty / eating dogs (nothing happens!), slow burn continues

A/N: Please consider that I do not follow the exact storyline of season one. Some characters known from the show may appear.

Catch up here: BFG (2)

BFG masterlist

“The front door is fixed,” Reacher says as he walks into your kitchen to gulp down a huge glass of water. “I checked on the backdoor too and fixed it. I’ll take care of the fence when I’m back.”

“Reacher,” you sigh. “You don’t have to fix my house or the fence. I invited you to stay here for free. And after you handled KJ so well, I owe you.”

“He owed you respect,” he says and places the glass he used into the sink. “I don’t like men treating women like that. You deserve respect, and to be treated right.”

If you weren’t already head over heels for him, you’d have lost your heart to Reacher at that very moment. “You are very well-behaved. A gentleman.” You eye him up and down and bite your lower lip.

“My mom taught me to respect women and to use my strength only to do good,” he shrugs. “I only hurt people deserving to get hurt. He disrespected and harassed you.”

“Your mom was a wise woman,” you step toward Reacher to grab his hand. “She raised a righteous man. I wish I could meet her to thank your mom.”

“She’s—” his voice cracks. You already knew that she must’ve passed away from the way he talked about her, and the sadness in his eyes. “I think she would’ve liked you.”

“Hmm…moms always like me,” you grin. “Because of my charming personality and the pie, I make.”

“I bet they do,” he gives you a half smile. “Your pie is the best I ever ate.”

“Now you try to get more free food out of me.” You chuckle and turn around to prepare breakfast. “What about tonight? Will you be around for dinner?"

“I don’t know yet,” he says and looks out of the window. You still don’t know why he’s in town, or how he spends the time away from your diner and house. “I’ll try to make it in time.”

“If not,” you turn back around to run your hand over his arm, “I’ll make sure to have some leftovers for you. A big man like you got to eat.”

“Not again,” you yell at the owner of the restaurant across the street. He once again chased the poor stray away and even kicked the dog. “I will make sure they arrest you, asshat. The dog didn’t do anything wrong. He only walked past your restaurant to reach my diner!”

“Well then, put a leash around that beast’s neck and shut your mouth,” the man yells back. “If not, he’ll eat a bullet next time that piece of shit comes near my restaurant. You can sell its meat at your shitty diner after I’m done with that mangy mutt!”

You crouch down and call for the dog. He trots toward you and whines low in his throat. “I told you to stay away from that asshole. How about I take you home? I know you are used to freedom and not having an owner, but we can just pretend we are roommates.”

“Y/N, is something wrong?” Sally Ann comes running toward you. “What happened? Your roommate, or private bodyguard, or whatever that guy is to you stormed out of the front door. I think he’s about to kill someone.”

“What? I-“ You hear Reacher’s angry voice. This time, it’s directed toward the owner of the restaurant. “Fuck!” You ask Sally Ann to look out for the dog while you try to cross the street before Reacher kills that man.

“REACHER!” You call for him, but it’s too late. The restaurant owner refused to apologize to you and even tried to land the first punch. Reacher easily dodged his attack, stopped the man’s fist in midair, and twisted his arm. “Fuck!”

“One last time,” Reacher snarls at the man, still holding his arm in a tight grip. “You will apologize to the lady and leave the dog alone. If I hear or see that you threaten any animal or kid ever again, I’ll break more than your arm.”

As fast as he grabbed the man, Reacher released the restaurant owner and stepped away. He’d like to beat the man into a bloody pulp for what he said and did, but he doesn’t want you to see only the violent man he can become to protect people.

“Are you alright?” You don’t care that the restaurant owner cries and sniffles. Your hand reaches out for Reacher to check on him. “Did he hurt you?”

“He broke my fucking arm,” the man whines and hopes for any sign of compassion from you. “That monster!”

“Monster?” You cock your head. “Last time I checked you threatened children and an old dog. You wanted to shoot him and offered his meat to me. If anyone in town is a monster, it’s you. Not the man defending me and the dog.”

“I’ll call the cops!”

“Go ahead,” you snap at the man. “Everyone saw what you did and heard what you said. I don’t think a single person will help you!”

There is applause coming from the other side of the street. Your employees and guests cheer for you and Reacher. “We should head back. The dog needs food and you a slice of my pie.”

Reacher glares at the whining man one last time. The restaurant owner flinches and ducks his head.

“I shouldn’t have hurt him,” he says on your way toward the diner. “He was much smaller and weaker than me.”

“He’s an awful person, sweetie,” you grab his hand and squeeze it. “Believe me, you did the right thing. I saw him slap a kid two weeks ago. And he kicked a cat away from his door. He threatened Charlie too.”

“Charlie?” He furrows his brows.

“I gave him a name,” you smile. “Maybe he’ll stick around for a little longer if I give him a name.”

Crazy from Patsy Kline blares from the old radio at your kitchen when Reacher sneaks inside the room. He watches you slowly dance to the song. In lack of a partner, you just sway to the music and close your eyes.

“Hi, uh-“ he clears his throat. “I brought wine, dog food, and Clark bars.” 

“Perfect timing,” you clap your hands. “Come on, it’s Patsy. Dance with me Reacher.” You hold out your hands. “One dance.”

“I don’t dance. Ever.” He glances at the old radio. “That’s almost antic.”

You drop your hands and sigh. No dance for you then. “It belonged to my grandmother. I know it’s old and most of the time it doesn’t work but…” you shake your head and turn around. “I didn’t have the heart to throw it away.”

“It’s a dear memory,” you feel his hands on your hips, and his chest pressed against your back. “You don’t throw memories away.” Reacher starts to sway, and you follow his lead. “Where’s the dog?”

“At the living room. He prefers to lie in front of the couch instead of using the dog bed I bought,” you turn around and start to dance with Reacher. “For a man who never dances, you’re not bad at dancing.”

“I love to dance,” he moves one hand to your back and presses you closer to his body. “If I ask someone for a dance, it mostly includes a lot of punching.”

You chuckle. “You won’t punch me,” he hums and watches you rest your head against his chest. “I wanted to thank you for punching two guys for me within three days.”

Reacher dances with you for another song before he reluctantly lets go of you. He turns your attention toward the wine and dinner instead of the things going on in his head.

He cannot risk getting attached to you. If this case is over, and he finds the murderer of his brother, Reacher will leave town. The last thing he wants is for you to miss him, or even fall for him.

Even though, the thought of getting attached to you is nice…

BFG (4)

Tags in reblog.

[lovekylie]

KYLIE MINOGUE — ICONIC BRITS AWARD PERFORMANCES (2002 & 2024)

[elumish]

For a major reveal, the order of the reveal can matter almost as much as the content of it.

Consider the reveal that the main character previously killed a bad person. That reveal can happen all at once in the story, but consider what happens if you stretch it out throughout the story, giving the reader one piece of information at a time. What information goes first can change the entire dynamic of the story.

Consider these options:

they are dead and I killed them - they were bad

We've started with the knowledge that the person is dead and the main character killed them, and so the tension surrounds the question of why. The reader doesn't know yet that the person was bad, only that the main character killed them, and so this will likely shape their view of the main character.

they are dead - I killed them - they were bad

Breaking up the first component into two parts changes the tension--first, all we know is that the person is dead. This can be broken out even further if you want (they are dead - they were killed - I killed them) but the central tension is the same: how did they die, and by whose hand.

they were bad - they are dead and I killed them

In this case, we start with knowing that they were bad, which removes a lot of the tension--but at the start we don't know they are dad, so they remain a threat. Maybe they're someone the main character still fears, even if they're dead.

they were bad - they are dead - I killed them

Again, breaking out the reveal that the person is dead from who killed them provides an extra level of suspense--but in this case the reveal that the character killed them is likely one that brings more positive reader feelings to the character than in the earlier instances. It may also be the answer to a secret that other characters were trying to find out during the story.

they are dead - they were bad - I killed them

The central arc of this reveal becomes more about the character (no pun intended) of the person who is dead--especially if that first part also reveals that they were killed. The question that the arc of the reveal answer is why are they dead, and also how should the reader feel about their death, a feeling that will likely change once it's revealed that they were bad.

This is just one example of how the order of the reveal matters, but this exercise can work for any major reveal in a story. What are the central components of the reveal? How does the order in which they are shown or told to the reader change the tension and central questions of the story?