lilysorrowful - Tumblr blog

[lilysorrowful]

Patience.

You are a poet

i’m your poem,

You didn’t made me,

You before me,

I let you be,

until time is see,

my essence is thee.

Yours by name,

yours I became. <3

[lilysorrowful]

One thing I believe in this cruel world is the hope we have for anything out of our control. What we fear we desire the most. Mine is loving care, I would do anything to be loved and care for but just that thought of having to open up and trust someone frightens me to death

[lilysorrowful]

From Amanda Dissinger's chapbook, This is How I Will Tell You I Love You, available from Bottlecap Press!

[lilysorrowful]

The Castle by Franz Kafka

[lilysorrowful]

[lilysorrowful]

Guilty by your creation

guilty by your creation.

guilty by loving you,

became distracted in your senses,

and lost mine in the purity.

Kiss it off me,

all of this pain,

and misery,

remove them with your far away lips.

Guilty by loving you,

your creation, my guilt,

my love, your ignorance,

your distraction, my suffering,

my sadness, your infidelity.

Empty promises filled my heart,

my actions became painless,

your reactions became effortless,

losing myself in tears with your name.

Purity, guilt,

one destroyed the other ruthless,

you barely blinked but I slept,

slept in salty and humid pillows,

shouting your name.

Whites pages with black ink,

my words, your creation,

What did you do to me?

You lived.

I was guilty by your creation.

[lilysorrowful]

I truly believe that we, humans, with no knowledge of what a soul is, have the soul of a sunflower. That tall yellow and brown flower that is so astonishingly mesmerizing, follows its light wherever it goes, on sunsets, it closes itself, and on sunrises, it opens, and we see its bright yellow. We have the soul of a sunflower, we, of flesh and bones, also follow a light, our lives and our life cycle is based on a star, we just take longer to find that shiny star, it can take years and years to find that little light but we find it. Those lights can be anywhere, anything, another sunflower? Sure. A ant? Why not? But we should never blame ourselves for taking a bit longer to find it. Let’s see this analogy: if your sunflower that you planted starts to die, what do you blame? The flower or the soil or yourself? What do you need to do first? Look at the problem or blame the consequences of it?

Our souls are sunflowers, blameful sunflowers, shameful, empty, useless sunflowers, all the bad things, until the moment where we stop blaming the flower and start blaming the soil.

We have the bright soul of a sunflower.

[lilysorrowful]

Love is like oxygen, oxygen that keeps us alive but slowly and warmly kills us, it disintegrates with a warning of itself. But we can't do anything about it, we need it to survive, and we can’t live without it.

Love is like oxygen, every living thing needs it, but plants and animals don’t know what love is, they see the purpose of finding your “forever”, but, love has it cold and warm way of being, they don’t know what it is, but they acknowledge its presence, we, as humans, study love, kill for love, and more importantly love loving love. It is such a silly thing, but love truly, simply, and solely is oxygen, we need it, and whether we want it or not really doesn’t matter. Love is oxygen.

[lilysorrowful]

Love is oxygen,

giving us life

and killing us,

all at each breath.

Oxygen isn’t love,

but I found love in your oxygen.

[lilysorrowful]

[lilysorrowful]

Love.

I thought of an analogy recently which I think describes how I feel perfectly and that is that before I met them I felt like I was a jigsaw with one piece missing, and without that piece my life was grey and dull. When I fell in love with them, I physically felt that last piece fit into place and it lit up my world. When I’m with them all my problems float away and when I see them smile I know that everything will be ok. They have taken over not only My whole body but also my life because I would do anything to protect them from harm. They are like glue to the mind and the soul, because although I am sticky, All of me is together. They mended every part of me that was hurt and looked after me even in the darkest times. One day I realised that I wanted to grow old with them, and that I would feel empty without them and that was the moment I realised I had found my soulmate.

[lilysorrowful]

Do I dare to

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

The minute we touched

the universe feel back to his place.

[lilysorrowful]

And once again, in my true place, the emptiness, the emptiness of nothing, that perfect and dreadful black energy swarming in my being, sucking in all the energy that my cells produce, losing sight of colors every pigment of the tiniest drop of any color vanishing before my owns eyes that once, in young youth, the colors almost vibrating enough just for a simple flower to bring so much happiness.

Maybe it’s me, I can’t be fixed, people tried, but I can’t, why would they try to fix something that not even with the best duct tape or the strongest staples can fix?

I used to look at the perfect and brilliant skin on a big summer night and try to make sense of the stars, try to tell stories to the moon that sat so perfectly in the middle of the brilliance of stars to which also heard every single one of my stories, they were like friends that never talked back, just sat there and listened to every syllable that escaped through my lips. And now, I just look at them and try to say something, not even that I can make up the energy too, even them started to look different, not from me but from them, they looked sad, they looked sad because I was lost, I got lost, the disorientated, the misplaced in the world. So I did the only thing that seemed fit, I went to them, so I could become one forever.

And, for the last time, in my true place.

Storm Darius.

[lilysorrowful]

Please reblog if you think that “they/them/theirs” is a valid set of pronouns.

Of course they are

[lilysorrowful]

REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT POLYAMOROUS PEOPLE

Everyone always makes me feel bad for being polyamorous so reblog this if you support polyamorous people

[lilysorrowful]

what is death?

tw!!: death!!

What makes human beings have the mindset to define death as the most awful and horrendous thing to ever happen to a living being?

There are tremendous ways to die and sometimes the question is asked “would you prefer to pass away from drowning or from burning?”, in my way of seeing life and death I see as if drowning was quite calming almost. Jumping into the cold water and feeling every single molecule of water around every single cell of your skin, just have a sensation that your whole body is floating, like suddenly we became astronauts without a spacesuit we are just randomly floating away from earth farther and farther and farther away from this also floating rock, being able to close your eyes for a second and just let all go, all the air leaves your lungs as if they were rocks, the water enters the same way and pace, filling all the empty spaces at once, now starting to feel heavier and heavier by the second, head just getting more and more clouded with empty thoughts and empty promises left behind, the useless goodbyes no one is going to hear or ever dare to be to put a finger on how many people and ways to say goodbye, all those memories are now filled with water and more and more water by the second, by every heavy wet breath. The mortal human being would be afraid, terrified just thinking about dying or what it would bring to them as it is, but some human beings, the same type of mere mortals, wish nothing but death itself, their escape from this vile and gruesome world we live daily, some looking for the peace they so and mercifully deserve after a life filled with nothing but burn, some looking for an escape due to the work of the same type of mere mortals.

In my own mind, I see death as weirdly as it seems, like life, life being nothing more than a line everyone needs to follow to their own end, every breath, every heartbeat, every thought, every second a cell, someone, something dying is less one to death, the number always going lower and lower so why don’t we, rational human beings, see the other way? That death is, in itself, life, and life is, in itself, death.

[lilysorrowful]

confused

The unsaid words sat at the pink tip of my tongue still tasting like blood and the salty fluid that drains from the corner of my eyes. The time seems to go back as the events of the last minutes flash through my mind like fresh new ones, my brain trying to comprehend what just occurred is refusing to move, still frozen in fear, the panic, the horror my white and before colorful orbs saw before me, the colors and stars were drained from my bones, from my blood, before so beautifully tainted red now so tainted grey and plain-looking setting on my veins and arteries running through my ears as I hear every beating of the precious and alive muscle present on my chest that just to be sure it wasn’t a nightmare I place my hand above and dream, dream to feel the slight palpitation of it and just has the oxygen enters through my nostrils and leaves through my mouth at an unvulgar pace, the beating is right there. The only and most simple comfort I have right now is that same beating.

Tum.

Tum.

Tum.

Tum.

It’s right there, right inside me, the answer to every question ever asked in the history of mankind, and the answer was life. The question I ambition to get to, the question is so deep inside me I am dreamful to have a slight idea on the tip of my ideas.

Storm.