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so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.
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fuckkk man I need to buy a box cutter or smth pencil sharpener blades are such a hassle
#need to bleed but cannot be fucked to get up and look for the sharpener so#fuck me i guess#screaming into the void
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if I took every pill in my cabinet what are the chances it just makes me throw up instead of killing me
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back on my bullshit again hello vent blog
#or i would be if my room wasn't so messy that i have no idea where my blade is#i should get a new one#screaming into the void
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mental illnesses cured I got to decorate my new ita bag
#i love my girlfriend >w<#rare happy posting#dw im sure ill be back to wanting to kms in the next three days LMAO
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happy birthday to me! I hope I don't make it to next year
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ough it's always humiliating going into the shared kitchen without my arms covered but I can't be asked to put something on when it's boiling hot and I'm just grabbing a drink 😭😭
#my poor roommates i can tell theyre trying not to look uncomfortable caus ethey know my arms didn't look like that at the start of the year#jiraiblogging#screaming into the void
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#shes just like me fr fr#IM SO HUNGRY RAHHHHHH#im gonna try go out and get food i hope someone horrible comes and stabs me or something#screaming into the void
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today's affirmations: I will not kill myself because I haven't finished my dazai cosplay yet
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chat my girlfriend didn't find it romantic when I said I would kill her if I had to kill someone</3
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anybody else watch sourdough scoring videos like ugh wish that were me rn
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I don't want to die but I REALLY don't want to live either
#honestly i would prefer it if i was just plain old suicidal#like why do i have to crave nonexistence when im too scared to do anything about it its crazy#screaming into the void#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr
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I've never understood how feeling nothing can be so painful
#like make it make sense#im in such immense pain but it has no source because im not fucking feeling anything#i should cut myself but I can't actually be bothered rn#screaming into the void
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ugh I hate the way fat distributes on my body 😭😭 it's so easy to lose weight around my stomach but my arms will not get smaller no matter what unless I exercise and I really don't have the energy for that 😭😭
#makes me look super top heavy because of my boobs too i hate it so much#jiraiblogging#screaming into the void
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sigh goodnight jiraiblr I'm gonna go to sleep I hope I don't wake up ~
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